Archive for structure

Some Do Not Like Me

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, commitment, communication, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Sucking and fucking, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 15, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

When you first meet me , you will probably think I am the most obnoxious man you have ever met, you will probably think I am rude, You will think I am loud and unbearable to be around , but if you take the time to get to know me you will find you cannot have a better friend.

My friend circle is very small , I do this mainly because it is really hard to find what you would call a true friend. It also keeps the drama down to zero.

My way is not anyone else’s way , my way works for me, although if you follow my blog I am sure you can take parts of it and put it to good use.

I have learned I cannot please everyone , what a ton of work, so I am me and only me you like me or you don’t .

Just because you do not like someone does not mean I will have the same feelings.

Master Johnny ignored her safe word during play , Master Johnny raped her, Master Johnny is very abusive. Now I am hearing this from a third-party. I am not hearing from the horse’s mouth, nor did I hear it from Master Johnny.

There are two sides to every story what I will do is speak with both parties ,  the slave or submissive first then I speak to Master Johnny. I am not going to take your word just because you do not like someone.

When I introduce myself I introduce myself as Vile the word Master is no where in our conversation. If you walk up to me and you introduce yourself as Master Johnny and your single , I will step back so I can allow your ego to expand.

Before I met arianna if someone was to ask me what my role was in the lifestyle I would say I am a Dominant. I suppose there are those who need the self title, the recognition , the need to feed your ego.

Arianna is my PR representative , she is now  fact checker like in the news. On the way to an event Arianna will say Master we are going to be in public, I acknowledge the fact then I ask why?  Then bringing up the last week coffee and I was talking about-face fucking, and ass fucking without lube. However she has said I have gotten much better over the years and I do not embarrass her as much as I did when we first met.. okay so I am out spoken I am me you like me or you do not. My fact checker when I say something. I just recently had surgery on my back and I ended up with about 20 stitches on the inside and 29 on the outside, but with me being male the numbers were much higher, so when I gave the numbers out everyone looked over at Arianna and she either nods in agreement or shakes her head.

I feel this is my world , I walk my own path , and it is me who has to live by choices and consequences. Yes In the outside world I have rules I have to follow and I walk a straight line. I am honest to a T , I am going to guess that is why everything always works out in my favor.

I speak my mind I say what others are thinking , however,  I will agree there are times I speak without thinking the comment out , at any rate,  I meant to say it.

i am not prejudiced when I look at people I see one color and one color only. What I am Prejudiced towards is stupid , those who know better but continue to fuck up. Those who work the system , those who want something for nothing , then they blame others when they fail. Then the system is working against them.

I am Prejudiced against the dominant who just use those who are submissive, those who have no goals or goals in life. Those who use and just toss aside without care. Instead of seeing the full picture they spend more time playing a game.

The fact is if you the Dominant wants to build a real relationship you can pretty much have anything you want. You sit back and just picture the relationship you want and be like Nike and just do it. You can implement rules , protocols I am huge on protocols. If you have enough protocols and rituals in place you need very few rules. Yes it does take work but the rewards are never-ending.

You can dress the way you want, you can teach how to talk , walk, sit , eat and act. You can teach the sub how to suck cock, even how you like to fuck. If you are a true leader they submissive will follow, if you get stupid you will spend your nights alone.

I very seldom show empathy , this goes back to the stupid thing , I just shake my head and walk away.

My ex just had a kidney transplant and was out of work for some time still not 100% but she is back to work. While out of work I increased my child support by about 60 dollars a week to help out. I also contacted people about helping refinance the house I lost. I contacted the state about some kind of assistance , and because my child support was not court ordered they state refused to help her even though I had bank statements proving I had been paying.

So I contacted a local radio station who does fund-raising for some , 104.1 based out of Orlando , Russ Rollings and Jim Phillips , I explained in detail what was happening and not one reply , how sad is that ? I sent not one email ,not two , not three but several. These are people who support the community.

So while my responsibility was not really mine I took steps I thought would help. I do not mind helping those in need , but I will not take away from my home. I will not do anything that would put Arianna second , never.

Next time you want to speak your mind do it , people will respect you much more..

 

 

 

 

 

Mastering The Master

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, emotional, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Mental BDSM, positive reinforcement, relationships, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Training Arianna, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , on February 29, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am not perfect, although many would disagree with that statement. Most who know me think I am loud , very out spoken and at times obnoxious.

On the way to a local coffee group which all the people whoa attend are awesome , a good get together at a local star bucks then at times dinner after. I work from home as most know and come my Friday I need to get out I need that interaction with like minded people.

On our way the group leader was warning new comers of my arrival. I am warning you ahead of time Vile is unfiltered. Unfiltered I never looked at it that way , I simply say what is on my mind be it serious or joking…

Some months ago I received and email from a woman who said my blog was the most disgusting place she had ever visited and i should be shut down. So sitting back I am thinking if you find it that bad, why did you spend time reading it and then making time out of your busy life to email me?

Out in the world I like to have fun , I like to joke around , I enjoy making others laugh, but mostly I love learning how others live our wild lifestyle. I listen , I observe and I take in just like a hard drive on a computer.

I have come a long way in the past twenty five years or so and I am making plans for the next twenty five. I have grown on so many levels , I have set goals , I have made most of my goals and I continue to march forward.

My MAsT Chapter has been approved, Masters And Slaves Together. It was not an easy task and it was about a 13 month process.

Over the years I made mistakes, some were a mistake and at times things I did was because I could, I am me , I will stay me and I will walk my own path , but most of all I will not live a life where I have to be politically correct , my life is on my time and my time only.

I am positive , very optimistic , even if I have negative thoughts I keep them to myself. Everything I do has a plan and I seldom make a mistake but if I do I admit it, after all I can be wrong.

I am in control, I am control of my everyday life, my home and in most cases my job. I run my house , I am in full control, but with all of these choices comes consequences.

Mastering the Master is a long path and it is not an easy road to walk. You have to define who and what you are, you have to define where you are and where you want to be, you have to define the type of relationship you want, but most of all you have to define the type of partner you need in your life, not want but need, a want is nothing a want has no meaning and at times a want can be destructive and childish. I concentrate on my needs if my needs are met there are no wants.

When I first met Arianna I made a promise and a commitment , I told her I will never raise my voice towards her or call her names out of anger and some 3 years later this still holds true. Being in control was a strong need to me , being able to not only listen but being able to communicate in a clear and understanding voice. Saying what I mean and mean what I say , not only saying what I will do but do the things I said I would.

Some say it is healthy to argue and while I may agree a little it depends on how you agree to argue. Bruises heal words cut deeper bruises hurt but words effect someone on a very deep mental state and while one can forgive one will never forget The more you hurt with your words the more you are in danger of losing what you have.

If you are fighting with yours Slave or submissive if you had any type of training then you as a Master needs to sit back and maybe come up with a different approach.

MASTER / SLAVE

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

No where in the above definition does it mention a Master Arguing with their Slave. No where in the statement above does it mention a Master Losing control.

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship.

If you the Master argues with your Slave not submissive but your Slave who is the bitch in the relationship ?

When entering a M/s relationship , a power exchange relationship or a Total power exchange you the Master are taking on a huge responsibility. You need to have a clear plan and a training program in place and a training program that puts you in the lead but more important one who will follow and have the need to follow.

Training someone takes a great deal of thought , every submissive or Slave has a different thought process, different habits and react in different ways . Some are emotional , some may suffer from some type of depression , some may suffer from anxiety the list goes on and on, so what worked in your last relationship surely will not work in your next , that includes training and rules..

I think a lot of the misunderstanding comes from someone who is new to the lifestyle and just jumps in head first and not really having a clue… Waking up one morning and your a Master because of a blog or a porn site you ran across. We as humans are visual and you google BDSM and click images and there is your definition.

Mastering the Master , Mastering communication , Mastering honesty , Mastering commitment, Mastering your devotion , Mastering your understanding of ones needs , Mastering your loyalty , Mastering your consistency , your training but most of all your continued growth.

Each and everyday I work on most of those , not only daily but hourly . I work to maintain what I and we have. I want us as Master and Slave to continue to grow.

The out come is you end up with a best friend , partner , and Slave.

 

Vile

 

What It Takes To Be A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, control, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, kinky, Master And Slave, owning a slave, relationships, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.

 

 

Am I Really Just Fucked Up ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, relationships, Slave, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on December 12, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was reading a Blog Post on

https://darkgemdom.wordpress.com/2015/11/30/what-is-wrong-with-me/

A lot of what I read reminded me of my past , I knew what I was but had no clue who I was, or how to organize myself.

It was not until my mid twenty’s I started to think something was wrong with me. Maybe deep inside I was somewhat psychotic , maybe demented, not knowing the word that related to me was Sadist.

I saw my first shrink I think I was 22 years old a military shrink but I found it hard to open up because this so called Doctor was in no way interested in what I had to say, nor did he really have any valuable input on where my feelings were coming from or why I thought the way I did.

I was or am a huge fan of tight bondage , extreme bondage, but here recently work has kelp me at bay.

When dating in my twenty’s I knew it would be one date or 3 max, the max is when I would cut ties, because I was finished using. The hunt was complete , then the attack, and the conquer , Bam I was done total victory..  There was no place else to go, each date each slave or a slave in my eyes was a different experiment an object or property as long as I wanted to keep her around, although most ditched me on their own free wheel. Many right after our play time, some not even fully dressed while heading out the door.

Their humiliation was my pleasure, their pain was my pleasure, breaking their will down, was my pleasure, and crying was the greatest gift.

When tying someone I knew I was not there until I heard that grunt, only a grunt because she was gagged. I never pulled on the rope , I yanked pulling gave no grunt, pulling never gave me the fear in the eyes.

As darkgemdom stated the snot and the saliva running down her face  dripping onto the floor , I received great pleasure.

I saw nothing wrong with putting someone on their knees , tying their hands behind their back, and face fucking until she puked , crying trying to get away, fucking her face until I shot my load down her throat.

Humiliation was my goal , it was not something I planned because each was different, each acted a different way.

Tied up in a little ball on the bed with the ass and pussy just hanging over a little so both holes were exposed, both holes being available, and most times I did not require lube for ass fucking, again their pain my pleasure.

It was not about blow Jobs , it was not about the pussy or ass , it was about the control , the humiliation , sitting back and looking at a submissive who looked so helpless. Using as I saw fit , degrading , and then tossing to the side.

Today I am much different because I want more , much more. I needed that stability , the security , and the knowing and the control.

If things are explained in detail and the sub or slave knows what is expected and allowed to speak , the flow goes much smoother.

Today I stand Arianna has been punished one time and one time only. This is due to our communication….

So what I found out I was not fucked up , I was in the learning stage, I was gaining experience, I was learning how to fill the role I wanted to fill..

Vile

 

 

Giving Up Control

Posted in Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Married Dominant, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My favorite new question is , What Are You Going To Do With Your One And Only Life.

 

Giving up control is a huge step, it is a step that should be given much thought , and the one deciding factor is how much control do you want to relinquish.

Once you have decided everything it is time to look for the right Dominant. Dominants come in many different flavors. Some are gentle and not so strict, some are very strict. Some enjoy inflicting pain while others do not, some punish while others do not and yes some even lie and I am going to give a very good example….

Giving up control is no easy task, the one thing you have to look at when speaking with a new Dominant is if your going to be able to comply with his demands, his rules and so on. This is not a decision that should be made at the time you are talking about everything, this is something you should mull over……

When talking to the new Dom you need to know what questions to ask, is he a 24/7 Dominant , or is he just a bedroom Dominant ? Is he just into the pain side of things ? Questions are important because if you do not ask you could find yourself in a bad situation.

Training your Baby Girl your submissive or your slave is actually a form of behavior Modification , I have spoken about this before. Changing ones thought process, habits, dress, talk, walk everything. When I was younger I did not really understand the process , nor did I care I found it to be much more work than I was willing to take part in.

It is possible for a D’s relationship to just fall into place with no formal training at all… You have to find your own fit, your own kink, your needs.

My check list , we all need a check list when we are looking for a partner in the lifestyle, I have spoken about this before. Once you put it on paper it should be LAW.

I did however change my stance on the type of relationship I was willing to enter, but as far as my needs I did not bend.  Arianna explained she needed a Micromanaged relationship, someone who could keep her in check, keep things flowing in the right direction.

Living a D’s or M’s lifestyle is different for each, the definition is different, I get it. Everyone should be happy and be in that place, that comfort zone , the feeling of security.

I am far from insecure but I do need that feeling of security, I need that closeness , the communication, and yes the control. I want to control my world and my surroundings. I keep everything in check.

My list I showed when meeting prospective slaves was not really that long, but to some it was not attainable. When explaining my list if the word NO or I cant came up , it was simple the conversation was over , I refused to bend because if I did I knew down the road I would not be happy..

There were things I was looking for in a slave, there were specific things I was looking for. It really had nothing to do with looks , it had nothing to do with what kind of job they had. It was the person , the personality ,  how sincere they were about the lifestyle , how sincere they felt about who they wanted to be and needed to be. With me personality plays a huge role , if we can talk to each other and not at each other then we are good. How serious they were about their training , how entering a relationship would benefit us both ?

Giving up control is something that happens over time, the more you communicate , spending a great deal of time together, taking the time to learn about each other outside of BDSM . As a submissive the closer you get the more control you are naturally going to give, and this will happen without thought..

The only factor that really comes into play is you giving up control to someone who has your best interest in mind. Someone who is going to dedicate the time to spend with you.

Submission is not a game , to some Dominants submission is a game such as the part time Dominants I spoke about on my last post, the weekend warrior, the married Dom cheating on his wife. It should not be fair when you the submissive are the only one taking part in such a journey.

The game is using you, humiliating you , hurting you physically and mentally , ignoring your needs without a care , and you sit there alone wondering what you did wrong. Your relationship is based on you sucking cock , sending videos, and pictures so the so called Dom can get their rocks off.

I was reading in a forum not long ago about Red Flags, how many red flags do you allow when you first meet a new Dominant? I was surprised at the answers , some were 2 some were3 even up to 5 flags before ending the relationship. My thinking is any type of flag , be it something not adding up or you catch someone in a lie. If someone lies to you once they will do it again.  A flag is a flag.

Another Scenario that takes place , prior to entering a relationship you think everything is flowing in the right direction.. Then you find once you have committed yourself things begin to change. Things are not what they were , now it seems you are in more of a vanilla relationship than a D’s or M’s. and when you question , you get well I am in a slump or everything will be okay.

As you read in the Part Time Dominant , being a Dominant requires a great deal of work, it requires one to be consistent , in control, insuring rules and protocols are being followed.

What do you want to do with your one and only Life ? How long do you wait for the relationship you were promised ? How long do you go along with the communication break down ? How long do you endure the abuse in a relationship? Your scared because that is how you were made to feel, your insecure because that is how you were made to feel, your not good enough for anyone else , because that is how you were made to feel.

train

Vile

 

 

 

 

Many Do Not Understand Our Relationship

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, communication, control, Dominants, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

We are Master And Slave. The first words you hear in the background is, What many do not understand about a Master and Slave relationship is the Master controls everything including the money.

That comment has come up more than once , more than twice and more than three times. I am not sure why ? I suppose maybe checking things out , or making me rethink our relationship.

The truth is I control everything to include all finances , I control every dollar , every quarter every dime every nickle down to every penny. Arianna pays bills , but again I know where every dollar goes, and anything that is spent needs my approval.

It is no secret , not that it matters, Arianna makes more than I do as a matter of fact a lot more than I do. I was recently offered a job making 58K a year. After Arianna and I talked about it we weighed all the options and we came to a conclusion we are okay. I enjoy my job and now we are able to spend much more time together with our current situation. Our bills are really low, and our two care payments are what most spend on one payment.

So the training began , this was a task I had never endured before , it would require a lot of me. A plan , a plan where I would take full control of someones life.  a plan that would consist of a micromanaged relationship, a plan to remain consistent where in previous relationships I had failed, a plan that would consist of Behavior modification.

Arianna’s training did not include any type of pain , that is not how I roll, I wanted inside her head, I wanted to know her thoughts, her thought process , what made her tick.

The relationship was not something I jumped into, I had a lot to think about. I was at the age I wanted to settle down, I was at the age I wanted a one on one monogamous relationship, however I was not sure I wanted the amount of responsibility it would take to have the type of relationship Arianna needed.

Training in my mind does not have to consist of pain , I want the challenge, and I want to win. I am always first and I finish first there is no second place. Hmmm did that make any sense ?

 

So I get in the mind , the brain and I start picking, there are hundreds of doors  , and each room has a book or maybe at times more than one book and each one has to be read from front to back. This is the way you get into someones head, you get a clear vision on what makes them think.

I have never lost my temper towards Arianna , although she has seen me mad and really mad. During training you get no where yelling or screaming, losing your temper and losing control is not a very good trait for a Dominant.

One of the first things a Dominant tells a submissive is , he is always in control and not controlling. If he loses his temper on a regular basis then he is not really in control. If one cannot control their feelings or emotions , then how can one control someone else ?

One rule I made clear from the start is our life is private , nothing personal shared with no one. You know what kills me is when a submissive, Baby girl, or slave jumps of Fetlife or Facebook and just opens up her whole life, complaining about her Dom , her Daddy or Master. Here comes how fucked up he is, here comes he is not a real Master , he should be taking better care of you.

The one thing that was left out was his side of the story, his intentions , and now he is the bad guy. This could be a cause from a couple of things, maybe confusing on the property’s end , maybe lack of communication on both. Many times when something is  explained the submissive may be afraid to ask questions. This is just something I observed the other day…

Arianna and I recently attended a local event, we were all giving introductions, and when I got to the part about how our relationship was a consensual , non-consensual , then the eyebrows went up like it was an alarm.

So lets talk about the two , Our relationship is consensual M’s , Master and slave , we live a 24/7 Total Power Exchange. Although at one time I was a sadist and a extreme one , that is no longer the case.  Today I have different needs, I have a need for structure , I have a need for protocols, and I have a need for continuous training and when you put all of this together it equals control.

Still to date Arianna and I have still not had one argument, as a matter of fact we have not even come close and again this is due to communication, but it goes deeper than just communication. There are times when you know someone wants to be left alone, and instead of digging to find out what is wrong you just let things be. I call this the what is wrong argument . What is wrong ? Nothing, well sure there you can tell me. Nothing is wrong, yea you can see where this is going and before you know it your face to face screaming at each other.

Think before you speak , you may be thinking you stupid bitch , but many times those words exit your mouth before your brain has a chance to catch up with your mouth. Most have what I call pet names that would include , my bitch , my whore and so on, but to use those words out of anger causes way more damage that just beating her ass, Bruises heal but words do not. I have always thought an anger mans words is a calm mans thoughts.

The world of BDSM has grown so much and has branched off in many directions over the past ten years or so. There is a lifestyle or fetish out there for anyone and everything, but yet we are to quick to judge, we are to quick to say that Dominant does not know what hes doing, or she is really not submissive. Although there is a definition for the word submission that one definition does not fit everyone.  Just as the definition of a Dominant or a Master, although there is one definition that one does not fit everyone. If that one definition fit everyone in the lifestyle then you know what would happen? We would all get along and see eye to eye on the way we lives our lives. Now that does not making any fucking sense for all of use to get along does it? We would have no one to talk about nor would we have anyone we could bash on a daily basis because they don’t know what they are doing , and what fun would that be?

The second is non-consensual , when most hear that word abuse comes to mind , or maybe taking the rights away from someone, maybe being to physical to the point of abuse, or to verbal to the point of sever humiliation. Maybe cutting all of ones friends off to include family. Many Dominants who are not seasoned do just that, maybe one has a insecure problem or he is fake ?

I have the final say that includes anything and everything that may come before us.

I am not sure why others do not understand our relationship , I would assume we are just like any other couple who lives a M’s relationship, although when I mention we have never had an argument , we get looked at funny.

We are all different , our needs and wants are different, if what you have works for you that is all that matters.. I know at times I may seem a little one sided but I am really now , I truly wish everyone the best that life has to offer , no goal is unreachable ….

 

 

bill

 

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Training And Online Dominants

Posted in 24/7, Anal Training, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Long Distance Relationships LDR, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, slave, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 26, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I use to perv the internet a lot, as a matter of fact back in the day, yahoo had one of the best profile search engines on the net. You could go to profiles and just type in a word of interest. Submissive , Slave , Slut , Whore, and one of my favorites Humiliation. Aol had something close to yahoo but yahoo was the place to hunt pussy.

I would pour a big ass glass of Tea , crack my knuckles and go to work.  You could search all over the world, by state , county and city. It was just a total fuck search, maybe that is why yahoo shut it down…

Your looking to enter the lifestyle and your looking for a Dominant, today the first place to look is your PC or Laptop. It is easy a cup of coffee and Google.

Online training is noneffective and has no meaning. Most online Dominants are married and spend spare time when the wifey is not home sitting behind his computer jacking off.

It does not take long until the submissive finds out they are being used. Rules are just sexual self pleasure acts, sending pictures and lots of phone sex. Having you drive someplace in public and Masturbating, or told not to wear panties out in public.

The first thing your told to do is keep a journal, a journal the dominant will never read. A journal of your daily activity’s which to you have very little meaning because there was no explanation on why you should keep such a thing…

The self punishment for not sending nude pics on time, or taking to long to respond to a text…. Self punishment , spanking your pussy until you cry while on the phone with your dominant, clothespins on pussy lips or nipples for long periods of time.
Then you end up spending money you do not have on toys, dildo’s and vibrators , nipple clamps , ohhh and butt plug for anal training.

While the Dominant does have control , that control is very short lived, 30 , 60 maybe 90 days and at times a little longer or until that deep loneliness kicks in..

I have done all of the above. I have used and manipulated , and I have shared pictures with friends that were sent to me. I have told stories how some bitch double fucked herself with two bottles.

I can say Ive never sat in front of my computer and jacked off, I mean its okay but nothing like the real thing…

The Dominant thinks he is in charge but in reality he is just barking orders that have no meaning, and your gullible to follow them until you figure out he is just an ass..

I am not going to say that all online training is not effective because at times , and there are some online relationships that do work and last for years.
Those relationships are those where the dominant has put a plan in place, and works on getting you to him, or him to you. Then again this can fail as well. If you are not the one painting the picture, you never see the finished product until you get to your new home.. Someone can paint a pretty picture and fill your mind with what you need, but you need to know all and have proof before you decide to move 1500 miles..

Over the past ten years or so I have gone through some Major changes. Changes in what type of relationship I wanted, what I wanted in the future, and most important how I saw myself living in a M’s relationship…

Online Dominants are just that, very few have ever had a D’s Or M’s relationship, and chances are they never will… These are men or women who cannot control their own life much less others.

The Topping from the Bottom I spoke about this topic last week, it can be fun , or it can be the death of a relationship.. Someone had contacted me not long ago while I was talking about BDSM and depression. I truly believe a Dominant who suffers from depression , he has no business trying to enter a D’s relationship. Someone who suffers from depression even on medication can only handle so much…

If you are a submissive who is trying to convince a man who suffers from depression you are doing more damage than good, and yes you are Topping from the bottom..

Many online Dominants have anger issues, many use humiliation as a way to control, they feed off of your problems they feed off of your self pity, and your low self esteem. Kinda like a Leech , until you have no blood left , nothing left to give and your left out in the dark alone…

The reason online training cannot work in the long term is because a D’s or M;s relationship is so personal. The Intimacy is so deep , the eye to eye contact, the communication, and last but not least the physical contact.

Many have tried and tried and tried with the results being the same, making the same mistakes thinking the next will be different…

You the submissive has to set ground rules. I email you answer, I ask a direct question, I want a direct answer. I text you I want a text back, I call you answer, providing your not at work. Those are not unrealistic demands.

Vile

Traits Of A Good Dominant

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Anger Issues, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Safety, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, control, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive, TPE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was looking back over the years the other day from a wild and crazy teen , joining the Us Army at 17 to get away from home, and I can pretty much remember every year except for the Carter Administration. I had joined the Us Army October 1979. When I left the house both parents were at work so there were no good byes. There were no letters back and forth , so I never showed up for mail call.
I had left behind a 100 friends who were not friends if that makes any sense. I never really got into any real bad trouble, I steered away from the trouble makers. I was young and doing my own thing. While others partied and smoked pot , I was tying girls up. At that time it seemed like the best alternative.

I have noticed since I have gotten older , I have not really changed much at all , Ive just changed my way of thinking. I grew up on the street so by the time I had turned 17 and joined the army I had street smarts. I could separate the bull shitters from the real.

I have zero tolerance for lairs I mean zero , none. If you lie to me we are done. Most people lie because they want something or they are hiding something.

I started washing dishes when I was 13 so I always had my own money even as my parents struggled. There struggle was drug addiction , and alcohol. Every 90 days or so one or the other would go into detox for 30 days and get clean. It was just a vicious circle that was never ending. I had just turned 21 and my real mother passed away from a drug overdose.
I remember my uncle calling me I was stationed in Korea and he asked if I was coming to help with the arrangements, and I thought for a second and I asked why would I do that , do what you gotta do man I hope it works out.

So I learned at a very early age you had to watch your own back because no one else was going to. I also learned early on that greed fed the human mind , I also found out greed is the down fall to many , but they want to put the blame on others. Family , Family are the ones you really have to watch out for. That does sound cold but we as humans have changed so much over the past 30 years. I saw it when my Grandfather passed away. He had not even left the hospital and they were going through his things and fighting over who got what. Like the movie , you have to learn to separate the good , the bad and the ugly.

While in school I was only in one fight. Fighting was something I never looked forward to, or never thought I would be in one. Fat fred is what he was called and he was fat and people were scared of him for what ever reason. One day while boarding the school bus Fat Fred tripped me while I was going to my seat. Once I got up I straddled him and I just started punching and punching and punching. The bus driver pulled over and had to pull me off of him.
Fat Fred spent a week in the hospital. I had broken his nose , his jaw and his eye socket was ruptured. That was the end of my fighting career , after that I never had a problem with anyone. I never understood it but his parents never wanted to press charges, maybe they knew he was a dick.

So where am I going with all of this rubbish , well I am in the learning stage. I spend my time learning and watching and listening.

Honesty I learned early on honesty is the best medicine , if your honesty people will respect you even if they do not like you.
Some years ago I drove a Tractor Trailer , one of the drivers who switched with me brought a truck back in as he was backing to the Doc , the supervisor met the driver and asked him what happened to the trailer door it was destroyed. The driver make the comment Vile did it. James my supervisor looked at the driver and said Vile did not do that , I know this because he would of told me.

A good Dominant can communicate and will do so on all levels. A good Dominant will all you his property to communicate as well and again on all levels. With communication comes with having the ability to listen and communicate your feelings or your thoughts

A Good Dominant is loyal even if he is in a Poly relationship because all parties know of everyone. A good Dominant is loyal and will remain.

A good Dominant is able to provide structure and make his property feel secure. He will provide structure to keep his home is good balance without any disruptions.

A good Dominant wants his property to succeed in life he will set goals and insure they are completed and help when needed.

A good Dominant is in full control of not only himself but his home and surroundings. He is level headed and thinks things through before acting. A good Dominant knows his actions not only effect him but his house as well.

A good Dominant again is in full control going in a different direction this time. He is in control of his temper, he is in control of his anger and he is not abusive , be it mental, physical , or verbal. An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts.

A good Dominant will respect your limits , while at times limits will be pushed one must know and respect when you have had enough.

A good Dominant will put you first above anything in his life. You should be all that matters. You know even today I still receive some 50+ text a day from Arianna. It does not matter what I am doing whom I am with I take time to respond, by not responding in a timely manner I find it to be very disrespectful and uncaring.
I am sorry I was to busy to text you, really how long does it really take to pick up your phone and send a text msg ?

Now the above statements could go with any relationship as well , be it a vanilla , Domestic Discipline , or if you venture off into the world of BDSM. The bottom line is if you do not have those core values in any relationship it will not work. It seems over the years we have lost much of our values as a society , now it is mostly dog eat dog even when it comes to our families.

One thing you as a submissive or slave has to remember , you are the one who has to adapt to your new Dominant. You are the one who has to follow rules but rules within reason.. You yourself has a lot to do with the relationship working. You have to have that mindset when entering a new relationship , and you have to remember every Dominant is different , every Dominant has a different way of doing things , as well as different rules and standards.

trust

Vile

What Kind Of Submissive Or Slave are you

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, Acceptance, anticipation, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, choices and consequences, communication, control, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Exploit, FaceBook Vile Woods, fucking, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, non-consensual, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

We are all Different our personality’s , our lifestyle , our work. We are come from different backgrounds. Submission comes on so many different levels. Dominance comes on so many different levels, our kinks come on so many different levels….. More important our needs come on so many different levels.

Over the years I have grown , over the years I have made mistakes and I have paid my dues. Today I live by two words yea you know them Choices and Consequences , those two paths will lay out your whole life.

Submission, The state of being obedient : the act of accepting the authority or control of someone else. Those are some very deep words and words that need to be given heavy thought.

So you grab a pen and paper , a blanket and curl up on the couch and you let the thinking begin. I have posted something else about this , one was. There are seven different types of submissives , but as I was thinking about that topic I believe there are way more. To be put in any one group is not right or fair, so you have to get your thinking cap on.

Do you want to follow rules? Do you want structure ? How much power do you want to give up? Do you want just in the bedroom , the house or 24/7 ? You have a million and one thoughts so I would not think this is something you would complete in one sitting.

What kind of Dominant are you looking for? Strict ? One who gives you rules ? Protocols ? One who punishes when needed? One who keeps his word and tells the truth ? A Dominant who will listen to you , A Dominant who will communicate with you on all levels ?

You have to figure out your kinks , some you will not be sure of because you have not explored. What hard limits you have , medium and soft.
You must know the difference between the different Dominants. A Dominant and a Master are very different. A Daddy Dom is very different from the other two. Once you have kinda figured out where you think you would fit, then you can determine what type of Dominant your looking for….

Wanting someone who wants you for you, not someone who wants to try and change you. I take and improve on what I have to fit my needs. If you have to go through all those changes then you have found the wrong person, the wrong partner…

Acceptance in any relationship matters the most , being able to be yourself , be who you are and being free.

Many who are first entering the lifestyle will feel rushed , and may even have that feeling of being overwhelmed. It happens and this is when you have to sit and take control over your emotions and your thoughts. You have to learn to tell the difference between what your heart is saying and your head, most of the time your brain is right.

Limits , every Dominant wants to know what your limits are. Do you enjoy anal sex? Do you swallow ? Do you like Rimming ? Do you like humiliation ? Do you enjoy pain ? The most frequent question on the street today is are you BI ? Why is that number one I do not have a clue?

Being new to the lifestyle you have know know if what you want is fantasy or reality, not knowing has been the down fall of many relationships. If it is just fantasy and the relationship ends , then it was the Dom who abuse you , or so you think. Many times when fantasy meets reality it can be a crashing blow. Now your fantasy turns to fear and the Dominant ends up getting blamed for something you told him you wanted.

Being new and not talking to anyone in person who lives the lifestyle is really hard. While it is true you can chat on the internet , knowing if someone is telling you the truth or not is harder.

The number one rule you have to follow is never let someone tell you who you are , this is trying to change you and change the thoughts you have already put together in your head. You may say well I am a submissive , and someone try to tell you your a slave or a baby girl when in fact your a submissive. Your going to listen because this Dom has told you he has 100 years in the lifestyle. The key to your success in the lifestyle is being able to be you. The key is finding someone who will except you for you. If someone wants to change you then you are not be accepted for who you are.

If your asked a direct question then you give a direct answer. You do not at any time give an answer because it is what they want to hear. You answer with your first thought. Are you poly ? No I am not nor do I wish to be. Acceptance is the key word here.
Those two words again Choices and Consequences those two words will make you or break you and your answers need to be clear and straight forward.

Do you like pain ? You already know the answer to that question or you should if not then your answer would be , you know I am not sure I am willing to explore a little. A direct question gets a direct answer.

You have to remember every submissive is different , every submissive has different needs , just as with a slave or a Baby girl. Your needs are what is important , your needs should be met without resistance.

Rules are meant to improve not change you. Rules are meant to provide structure and guide you , not change you.
You must send me nude pictures everyday , that is not a rule , that is exploiting you , and do not think he is the only one who is seeing your pictures.

Do not think the first Dominant you meet is your last , if something does not feel right , then thank him for dinner and tell him it is just not you, you are not what he is looking for. Choices and Consequences.

The predators in the lifestyle truly out number those who are real and have their best interest in you. It does take time to figure out who is real and those who are just looking for a quick fuck. These types of predators will string you along until you catch on.

Remember this is your life , you are in full control of the outcome.

door

Vile

Fifty Shades Of Grey. What Christian Grey Lacked

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Anastasia Steele, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, commitment, communication, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, fifty shades of grey, Manipulation, masochist, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Rape, relationships, Rough Sex, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am far from perfect and I will be the first to admit , I do not know everything. What I share is my past 20 plus years in the lifestyle and as many active in the local community.
I have met thousands in the lifestyle , from Sadist who scared the fuck out of me , to totally wicked Domme’s, submissive’s of all kinds real and fake, slaves with different levels of submission, and then my relationships.

I have been with a Masochist I could not make cry , who fed off of humiliation , I have been a Daddy Dom as well. I have lived a D’s Lifestyle , but for some reason I was never complete.
I have had successful relationships that ended well, and I have had relationships that crashed and burned , due to my actions. I take full responsibility for the relationships not working because I did not think clearly or I used bad judgement. I am not going to put the blame on others when it was I who fucked up.

Most of the time when a D’s or M’s relationship falls apart it is the subs fault. The bitch was not real, she was just playing games. She was not a true submissive, she was not a slave, she could not, would not follow rules.
Now the above could be true , because there are some money grabbing women out there who are looking for a free ride , but it makes me think , how many times can someone lay on their back to get a car payment made, or to be a kept woman. There has to come when it just slaps them in the face. Maybe they think that little of themselves.

I have seen it I have done it , I bit off more than I could chew , and it just turned my whole fucking life upside down, and I would not give up. Well!!!! At least not until I could not stand anymore , maybe I enjoyed self punishment.

I have done this before , entered a relationship for security purposes , yea and you guessed it , that does not work either just for a short time.

A D’s or M’s relationship requires a lot of time. You are investing so much , but lets take a look at another way we are investing time.
Lets say you the Dominant buys a 1969 Carmaro Z28. You bought just the hull of the car . No doors , no hood, no bumpers, no interior , no glass, no nothing , what you have is a hull.
So what are you going to do now? You are going to rebuild it from scratch. You are going to make sure everything is right , your going to make sure everything is complete and not done half ass.

It is the same when you enter a D’s or M’s relationship. You are going to build from the bottom up to meet your needs. You are going to cherish and like me you will stand back and look and think to yourself , man look at what I have done. If your willing to invest all that time , why would you not follow the two main rules in life. Choices and consequences , those two thing will either make you or break you , if you break you will crash and burn.

So you have Anastasia Steele, who just happens to be a virgin , then you have the Sadistic Christian Grey who can only get off on rough sex , which I can relate to. i can also relate on being able to channel anger into positive outlets. Controlling my anger took years to learn how to control , but there are still things that can set it off but that is really very seldom and never towards my property. You will gain so much more out of life if you are in control of not only yourself but your surroundings.

Anastasia a 21 year old naive woman who meets a Dominant who has sadist tendencies. The result Anastasia walks into a world she has never known or perhaps never should of been introduced to that world.

The truth is very few sadist will take on someone who has zero experience in that type of the lifestyle. Second most sadist are not Dominants , it is usually one or the other. You can be a Daddy but not be a dominant. Every Dominant is different , every Dominant has different traits , every Dominant has different needs in their partner.

That is why when a Dominant is single and looking , he is looking for someone specific. The Dominant already has a general idea as far as what he is looking for.

The movie Fifty Shades was based mainly on sex , again nothing wrong with that. What happens is those who have no idea what the lifestyle is about and they see the movie , it gives most the wrong idea about those who are in the lifestyle. Here is the kicker , I have had two women send me a message and ask me if Christian Grey Raped Anastasia. So if there are two I am sure many more are thinking the same way , and under the circumstances I would tend to agree.

So every movie has a behind the scenes , movies have parts that are never seen, the public does not have a clue.

So behind the scenes , being a Dominant is no easy task. A Dominant is on call 24/7 , it is not a 9 to 5 gig.

What Fifty Shades failed to show and yes it is just a movie but if your going to try and mock a lifestyle you need to get somethings right.

It did not show the training that goes into building a D’s relationship , it did not show the communication that goes into building a D’s relationship , it did not show the care , or the emotional side of the submissive , like it did in the movie The Secretary.

There is a line that one can cross when it comes to the lifestyle , the broken line would be abuse, and rape. One in five women in their lifetime will be raped, maybe abuse is just as high. One thing that is very troubling very few are ever reported, and the numbers go even higher if a female is in the lifestyle and meets a new Dominant and is raped.

Behind the scenes , the structure , the rules , the protocols , and yes the punishment.

One thing I do not understand is how so many people could take a movie that is Fiction to heart. Many men will take this fiction movie to heart and the hunt is on.

Fifty Shade Of Grey is Fiction it is not real. If your truly interested in our world do your research , meet and talk with people..

Do you really want to live your life in a Fiction state of mind.