Archive for Isolation

What Makes A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, Behavior Modification, Bondage, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Living Poly, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is an answer that will differ from one person to another. Every Submissive, Slave, or Baby Girl will have a different definition. Every Slave, Submissive or Baby Girl has different needs, their submissive is on different levels, but the characteristics should be somewhat the same when it comes to A definition.

Honesty should be first on the list. When you first meet a new Dominant the first words out of his mouth is. You should always be honest with me. Now if he holds you to such high standards , why would he not be held to the same ?

I know I rag on married men who cheat on their wives, but if a man is married and he tells you, I want you to be honest with me at all times. You need to stop and think about those words coming out of his mouth, because he is already lying to you about being honest. It is clear he cannot run or control his own home, so how can he control you?

I will speak about couples who move into the lifestyle here in a minute, because there is a clear difference.

You know when meeting a new Dominant you should be able to tell if he has your best interest in mind. Such as asking about your home life, your health, any medications your on. The music you like, your favorite foods, you get the picture.

It is very important the two of you get to know each other as friends.If you start the relationship off on a sexual note, then that is all you will have and it will be short lived.

Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you. I myself explain things in such detail when I am finished there are no questions. If you ask me a question I give a very in depth answer.

Before a Dominant can hand out any rules, he should know you inside out, He should know how you think and what makes you think the way you do. He must have a clear picture and understanding of your bad and good habits.

I have said before rules are meant to replace bad habits. Rules are meant to provide structure. Rules will give you a comfort zone, meaning you have a clear understanding of what is going on. Once you have rules in place, they are almost never altered. Once you have a grasp on everything a few maybe added or old ones taken away.

Training

Is training real? Absolutely it is real and there are many different levels of training depending on how far you are wanting to take your submission.
Training can be mild, or it can be extreme, and even taking as far as what some would call the Stockholm syndrome, and one of the best references would be to study up on the Patty Hurst case.

You the Submissive or Slave should know and understand exactly what it is you hope to gain out of your training. How do you see yourself living in a D’s Or M’s relationship.
Before the training begins, the Dominant should sit you down and explain what he hopes to gain from your training, and where he hopes to see you in 90 days or so.
The training process can only be effective if the Dominant is consistent on a daily basis. The training can only be effective if the rules, and protocols are enforced on a daily basis.

A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that may put your job in jeopardy. A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that could be against the law.

Isolation

Many of you really have no idea what the term Isolation means when it comes to a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Implementing such an act can be very harmful to you mentally, and physically. Shutting you out from the outside world, keeping you away from family and friends.
Lets face it we all need a break at one time or another. Being able to visit friends, family, having a girls night out. You want to be able to clear your head.
Isolation is something many fake Doms use as a tool. The more your isolated the less chance you have finding out any real information.
You Don’t need friends you have me. You don’t need to talk to anyone else , that is why you have me. I am your Dom, or master I have all the information you need.

You should never give your passwords or any other personal information to your Dominant. This is a true sign of the Dominant being insecure. We are all adults and we all need some privacy. Insecurity, and a huge ego will get you nowhere.
You as a submissive or Baby girl, you have the right to question, you also have the right to say no. If your not sure Google submissive or Baby girl.

If you do not live together you should have full access to your Dominants home, once you both have agreed to enter a relationship.
The reason being, he will tell you what is yours is now his. Well surprise, surprise it works both ways now..

You should have access to your Dominant 24/7 if you are not living together. If you send a text or email, you should expect a response in a timely manner, meaning within an hour or so.
I have seen on her where a Dominant has told his property he was to busy to text, or email for several days.

Pick up your cell phone and type 35 words and time yourself and see how long it takes. 15 seconds maybe? So your going to tell me the Dominant does not have time to respond, yea bullshit.

Remember you have giving your submission, and he the Dominant has taking on the responsibility. You do have rights.

If you do not live together, and you have agreed to enter a relationship, the Dominant should be able to provide you with a clear time line on when the two of you would be making some kind of move. If neither have no plans of moving in together that is fine.

The Poly Dominant

Poly is not for everyone, and living in a poly relationship is probably one of the hardest task in the lifestyle. Most poly families do not life together, for one reason or another. I know of a couple right now that are working but the drama is just out of hand.
If you do not live together, there is no way to maintain any type of structure. If you do not live together, there is no way to enforce any type of rules or protocols.

You the Submissive needs to ask upfront if the Dominant is poly or not. If you are not poly then you need to make it clear, and you need to stand by your words.
If you are open to the idea but with stipulations you need to make them clear.
You should also ask why he has a need to have more than one submissive or slave. When I has asked other Doms the answer has always been I need more flavor. Think about this for a minute, more flavor really? So your cocking sucking skills are not good enough, maybe he needs a tighter pussy? Or maybe you refuse to do anal and that is a need for him. If ass fucking is a need and your not into anal, guess what? Your the wrong submissive for him.

Dominants And Depression

That is a loaded gun, and the clip is never empty. There is a great chance you the submissive or slave has some form of depression, not everyone but the odds are pretty good you do.
If this is the case, how would you expect a Dominant who suffers from pretty much the same thing, take control of your life. If the Dominant is not able to control his own life, how can he control yours?
These are questions you need to find out before entering a relationship. You need to know what type of medications he is on and what they are for.
When entering a D’s or M’s relationship you can leave no stone un-turned.
Depression is a silent killer, watch the news this morning and you will see.

The Dominant.

No real Dominant has anger issues. The real Dominant is in full control. The real Dominant lives by the truth, and expects the same in return. A Dominant is in full control of his life and surroundings. The real Dominant has no Drama inssues, he has no Drama with the Ex.
Most Dominant are very active in the lifestyle it is a true need, I know this because it is for me, and the 25 or so I meet with every month.
You should be able to ask for references, of other Doms he knows and in some cases other Subs he knows or has owned before.

Reason being you are going to let a man tie you up, spank your ass, along with many other things, and you do not want someone who just read 50 shades thinks he is the almighty, he is now the Master of Masters. You can get hurt.

Couples moving into the Lifestyle

Now this is the other Dominant, he may still have some anger issues. Anger or controlling anger takes a while to master, it takes time to learn how to control. It took me some time, I do have a temper, and I have lost it, but Arianna has never seen that side of me and she never will.
You have to learn how to filter that anger and replace it with good.
One thing I started doing, my mentor told me this. If you are angry think about what your going to say before you say it.
This gives you time to rethink what your about to say, and it also gives you time to calm down a little.

If your wife is not Submissive, but you have found a Dominant side in you, if you sat your wife down and explain your needs in full detail, it is more than likely she will agree to experiment with your idea. You have to be able to sat her down, and explain in clear detail what has made you change, and why these things are now a need. In most cases it is in the woman’s blood to want to please.

If you are a submissive and your Husband is not Dominant, well it is sad to say your pretty much out of luck.
Chances are the male is not going to want to take on anymore responsibility than he already has, which in most cases is very little. Those who have very little responsibility, are in it for the mother figure thing , and that is what you are you do everything his mother did, except for sex.

You cook, you clean, you take care of the kids, you pay the bills, and he watches Monday Night Football.
Many married men see BDSM as abuse, and they feel bad about doing certain things.

You all know how I feel about stepping outside of the marriage, it is wrong.
When you got married you exchanged Vows and you made a promise.
If you are not happy leave, it is not fair to you, but more so it is not fair to the other.
How long are you going to live your life unhappy, so when you think about stepping out, think about your family. Why would you want to drag them or your children through your mess.

The Collar
The collar has great meaning. The collar is a sign of ownership. Once around your neck you will feel a bond like no other. This is when your relationship really begins to grow.

The Collar is giving after your first phase of training. The first phase as I call it, can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. About the same length of time you would think about getting married to someone.
The collar means you are now owned, the collar means you and your Dominant have come to terms and you are now ready to settle in.

If your Dom went to Wal mart and purchased a 6.00 dog collar, you now know how much your worth. If he went to an adult book store and paid 9.99 for a collar, again you now know how much your worth.

The collar is meant to be worn 24/7, so if you are a professional then great care should be taking when he is selecting your collar.

Many 50 shades Dominant have these wal mart collars and will try to give you the collar on the first meeting. This is used as leverage, this gives him more control over you, because you have agreed to submit, and only knowing him in person for a couple of hours.

Last you want to be excepted for who you are, not who the Dominant wants you to be. You want to be loved and cared for, you want communication, you want honesty, you want someone who is going to always put you first no matter what. You want someone who understands you, as a partner and a submissive, you want security, but you want that firm hand as well.
You want a leader who is in control, and stands by his words.

You want a real Dominant.
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Vile

Daddy Was So Nice ,Abuse Is A Cancer , But There Is No Cure

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Master, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , on July 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Come here Baby Girl , I know your lost. I can Help you. I want to help you. I understand where your coming from. I know how you feel. I will teach you, I want to help you.

There are no Magical doors. There is not a Daddy Dom Door, There is not a Dominant door, there is not a Master door. The truth is we are all rolled up into one.

I am a Master, what makes me a Master ? I am a owner, I own property. Arianna is my slave I own her, she is with me because she has the need to serve. Arianna needs love, Arianna needs compassion, Arianna needs structure, rules, trust. She needs someone who will be there 24/7. Arianna needs communication, Arianna needs someone who will be consistent on a daily basis. Arianna needs someone who will enforce rules when they need to be.

So I am really not that different from a Daddy Dom if we take the title out of the picture.

I do not beat Arianna, as a matter of fact I have never left a mark on her, not even one bruise. I never talk down to Arianna, I never yell, scream, or call her names.

As a Baby girl, a submissive , you have rights, and when you feel something is not right, you need to go with your gut feeling.

I want all of your passwords, Okay may I ask why? Do you not trust me? Have I done something to cause mistrust ? Can I have your passwords Sir?

That is one of the first demands, this is the beginning of the abuse. This is called the take away game. His answer is he wants to protect you. He needs to be able to monitor your accounts. .

Your 18 years old, 20, 25 , 30 you have never needed that before. By having your passwords that does nothing.

It was almost a year and Arianna was trying to figure out a way to give up more control, so she came to me with the password thing. She wanted me to have them.  After some thought I agreed, I have not used them, and I probably will never. If I need anything or want to know anything I just pick up her phone, and that is not to often. I TRUST HER.

The take away game, passwords, then the Daddy wants to monitor your social sites , facebook, twitter, does anyone have a myspace any longer ?

Then comes your friends, you are told who you can and cannot talk to, and you will agree, after all Daddy knows whats best for you.

There is a Baby Girl on wordpress, and she has to take her blog down because she showed interest in wanting to meet other Baby Girls or littles. This will take control from him, and she will be exposed to how other Baby Girls live, so the outcome would not be good.

Yea he is married still lives with his wife, but he is going to leave her when the time is right. He has two Baby Girls who rent an apartment, they both pay everything , which is okay but the fact he is married, so he has no responsibility .

You are told who your friends will be, Okay I am guilty of that one myself. Arianna needs friends and I encourage her to make friends, more so with in the BDSM community. I want her to see how the others live, what the different Daddy Doms are like, the different Doms, and Masters, and she will tell you she has it made.

I am guilty of choosing her friends because what she has found is once a friend she becomes part of their problem worlds, she becomes part of their drama, she becomes part of their cancer. So I put a stop to it.

What makes it lonely is when you do not live together. Chances are you never will live together. The bad thing is the take away game is still going on, until all you have left is going to work and coming home. He begins to talk about your family, so he wants to distant you from them, yes most of you have been there.

Then comes the yelling, look what Ive done for you, I am the only one who cares for you, I am the only one who has been here for you, well okay my wife as well, but I love you. He changes almost over night, and if he thinks he is losing control, he will isolate you more and more until your in a box and you cannot move.

These Dominants are insecure, these Dominants are not part of the lifestyle and really have no clue. These Dominants have no friends who are Dominants because there game comes out and a real Dominant would have nothing to do with them. I do not mainly because I cannot relate to them, and I refuse to step down to their level.

SouthernSir and Kayla Lords. Daddy Dom, and Baby girl, they met and they built a beautiful relationship. They made plans for the future, and they made their plans happen, Kayla now lives with SouthernSir. That my friends is how it works.

Being isolated at first does not seem so bad, but when you have little contact with your Daddy Dom, it becomes lonely very fast, depression sets in, and now you have nowhere to turn. You no longer have the friend network you once had, because you dumped them all.

Master Vile and Slave Bea, we were very happy but as she talked with friends , she discovered she just may very well be a Baby Girl, so while talking one night she express her feelings and her new found needs. My answer was let me think about it. The reason I needed to think was I needed to consult with other Dominants because this was a new world to me. So after much thought we began to slowly move from Master and Slave to Daddy and Baby girl, now we lived together so this made the transition much easier. After I thought it was complete, she came to me one day and said Master, not Daddy. Master we are really no different than we were before. I said yea I know

Our relationship ended because I lost control, I no longer wanted to enforce rules, I let the structure slip, I let the protocols slip, and when I realized what was happening it was to late to regain control., and I lost. I am good with that I have moved on. Today she is in a good place.

You have rights, you have the right to question, you have the right to want to know why. Because if you do not then what makes you different from a slave. You have the right to question and you have the right to get answers and clear answers. You also have the right to say no.

Well you dont need to talk to other people, you have me that is all you need.. This is part of the isolation game, if he can keep you isolated he keeps control. If he cannot or start to lose control the anger comes out , if it has not already, but he screams and yells at you calling you names, or maybe no names but the anger is there. Then after its let daddy hold you I am so sorry, I want to be a better daddy.

The only happiness you have is the few hours a week you get with your daddy. Maybe a few hours every two weeks or a month, then it is only for a couple of hours. He will how ever bring you cheap gifts from time to time to show he cares. The gifts are made to give you a high, but many times the high is short lived…

Being a Baby Girl can be a lonely life, but the same goes with those who are Submissive. You find very few Master and Slaves who do not live together though.

Those who are predators pick those who have little to know experience in the lifestyle, the same goes with those who are submissive or even slaves. He picks these types because he knows what to say, and he will act like he is there to help you. You know nothing about the lifestyle so what he is saying is the truth. Those with any experience will have nothing to do with these fakes, and what relationships they do have are short lived. Most are married, and they prey on these girls because there is very little upkeep. He will not help you will bills or anything because he is teaching you to be independent he wants you to be able to live on your own even if you are struggling. He knows what is best for you. He cannot spend any money, because most wives handle the funds. Arianna handles all of the funds in our home. There you go.

Once you become to needy, I mean needy on a daily basis, and your begging for attention, or you become to hard to handle, with questions. You will be dropped like a bad cold. You now require responsibility.If you do not believe me try it.

Remember I am speaking here with over 20 Years in the lifestyle, I have nothing to gain by lying to you, but I gain much if you listen, because I have helped someone…

How do you see yourself a month from now, three months, six months or a year. Still sitting at home alone?

baby

Vile