Archive for the Dominant Category

Fifty Shades Darker

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Cheating Dominant, Christian Grey, commitment, communication, Dominant, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Of Gray,, Married Dominant, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, The Secretary, Uncategorized, with tags , on August 2, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Most Doms or Masters have skills many skills , be it play , communication , staying consistent in training among other things but one very important skill is the skill to negotiate a relationship.

I was somewhat taken back by the first 50 shades so when 50 shades darker came out , I thought okay Mr Grey can redeem himself.. Well that did not happen , instead he lowered himself to almost animal waste.

I do give credit for the books and the movies though it brought millions into the lifestyle some serious and to some they found out it was just a fantasy.

It is not uncommon to renegotiate a contract be it written or verbal. We continue to grow on a daily basis and our needs change. A Dominant may see where some changes are needed and may just act or he may sit down and communicate his needs. The Submissive or Slaves needs may change and may want to sit down and request some changes. I myself do not make a decision right then I want to take some time to think about what was discussed.

To see Mr Grey kneel about beg was truly disappointing , although we as Masters should show the ability to be humble at times, what Mr Grey did was truly humiliating to see him beg. On his knees admitting he was not a Dominant but still wanting to renegotiate , renegotiate what?

Most women loved the sex scenes , some were pretty intense but to put those into our world of BDSM just gives a false look into the way we live.

Outside of the movie jumping into real life, suck my dick , you broke a rule you burnt my chicken now ive got to beat you , or you failed to send my pics while your at work. I want videos of you masturbating , I want your passwords , I want your banking info. This is no way the characteristics of a Dominant , this is pure ego , insecure , the need to abuse and think its alright because your in charge.

Our life is so deep very few understand even those like E.L. James who tried her best to let people take a peak into our life. If you do not live something you cannot write about it.  Our life has such a wide base many do not understand but are very intrigued. People trying to interpret our life would be like me trying to write a book on how a nuclear submarine , hows its built and keeps generating power.

I have changed over the years , I have been the abuser , I have been the user , I have made false promises , I have giving false hope. Many years I felt women were just a dumping station many had no faces. My only concern was how to use all three holes.

The art of manipulation and for some it never ends , its a game that is never won , because in the end you crawl into your bed alone. This goes for both male and female, one thing we all have to remember we are a commodity and the older we get the less our stock is worth. Manipulation is not hard but staying on that path with one does not last very long.

Any man can find someone to suck his cock , or take it up the ass but to be able to take control , and finding someone who will give up the amount of control you want is an art. It meaning days , weeks , months and in some cases years to find the one who fits your needs , Dominant or Submissive.  Hours of conversation , days, weeks , months getting to know each other.

The Dominant must be secure , the Dominant must know who and what he is, the Dominant must know how to be fair, true and loyal to his word. The Dominant must make it clear when it comes to his needs and wants.

When you meet a Dominant and you are explained his needs and wants , how he runs his house and what is expected , if you have any doubts or your not able to fulfill his needs then he is not the right Dominant for you. If he backs down on anything he has presented and gives in , there will come a time when the subject will come up at a later date. The same goes for the submissive if you lay out your needs and the Dominant disagrees then you need to move on. You may meet 25 , 30 , 40 or even 50 Dominants before you find the right fit. You know within the first couple of minutes if you are compatible and if your not why even continue?

More of the community today is about kink and only kink , but there are just as many submissives and slaves who are looking for so much more. Most who are submissive are looking for much more when it comes to a relationship , although kink will play a huge part there are many other factors. Many are looking for security , communication , wanting to turn over power to someone they can trust.  Guidance is huge , structure , and yes even discipline when a rule is broken, being held accountable , but many who claim to be a Dom , or Master turn their backs on the basic ideology of the lifestyle , trying to convince the submissive they know the way.

Making a movie that is realistic , instead of a kinky Billionaire begging some girl for pussy why not a average guy? If the dude had lived in a trailer and worked at McDonalds then he would of been a creep.

You know if you just want to fuck why not just ask instead of trying to run a game , if your married why not be upfront instead of hiding your marriage like some little bitch. Ive met married Doms who cheat and once they get home they turn into the bitch. If the dude cant run his own home , if the dude cant control his wife or his house , if the dudes wife wont submit , then how in the fuck can he truly control someone else? The dude is living a fantasy , the dude wants to find someone to do things his wife wont do. Dont get me wrong there are some who are ok with seeing a fake married Dom and if both are ok with the situation then do it, but if you are married and misleading someone your balls needs to be cut off because your a pussy.

I hoped before watching the first 50 shades that someone would step up and show a true side of the lifestyle but I learned in the first 30 minutes it had nothing to do with a real Dominant but a man with control issues who suffered from depression, a man who wanted to hurt someone just for the sake of hurting someone.  A quote, Why do you want to hurt me? For your pleasure , really? Yea he said that.

Many do not take into consideration of the damage you can do to someone male or female. Leading someone down a false path and once your caught they put the blame on them like its their fault.

Guys , Masters , Dominants if you are who you claim to be you can live the dream, if you walk the walk and talk the talk, hmmm I think that is right? Your life could grown into something you cant even imagine. There is so much more to the relationship , its not about just sucking cock , or fucking some chick up the ass, it take work but the end result would be incredible…





Rules And Training

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive,,, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info.



Lets Play Chess

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Chess, Dominant, Slave, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 23, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Our relationship is much like a game of chess. We think each and every move, and the wrong move could bring great hardship.

We as Dominants are the King our Slave or Submissive , both are the Queen. If you are a single Dominant this is something to think about. Once in a relationship we now have the Queen, the Queen should be our main focus we should do what we need to do to protect. Okay maybe this may not be totally true in the Game because the King is the weakest, only being able to move one way and one block at a time, but it is more about the strategy , the thinking before we make that move. As the king we have to be able to control our every move and know there are consequences to each move.

Life is a Chess game every move we make can affect us good or bad.

When it comes to training it is almost like setting up the board , you sit back and think about your first move..

Several months ago a Dom contacted me wanting advice , my first words were you need a plan , you need a goal, you have to know what direction you need to go , not want.

Your Chess game must benefit both not just one, because if you try to play both sides alone there is no clear winner.


New Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, codependent, commitment, communication, compatibility, Dominant,, Master And Slave, New Dominant, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 2, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

submissiveinclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others or showing such inclination; “submissive servants”; “a submissive reply”; “replacing troublemakers with more submissive people”

unassertiveinclined to timidity or lack of self-confidence; “a shy unassertive person”
obedientdutifully complying with the commands or instructions of those in authority; “an obedient soldier”; “obedient children”; “a little man obedient to his wife”; “the obedient colonies…are heavily taxed; the refractory remain unburdened”- Edmund Burke
humblemarked by meekness or modesty; not arrogant or prideful; “a humble apology”; “essentially humble…and self-effacing, he achieved the highest formal honors and distinctions”- B.K.Malinowski
subordinatesubject or submissive to authority or the control of another; “a subordinate kingdom”
submissiveabjectly submissive; characteristic of a slave or servant; “slavish devotion to her job ruled her life”; “a slavish yes-man to the party bosses”- S.H.Adams; “she has become submissive and subservient”
It took me some several years to get my feet firmly planted on the ground, it took me several years to figure out who I was and what I needed. It took me several years to figure out exactly what I needed in a partner a long-term partner.
One thing I never understood was the  word compatibility or how important that word would be in my search.
It took me a very long time to realize I had to be me and in order to be me I had to find someone who was okay with me being me, and I had to find someone who wanted to adapt to my ways.
I spent years trying to change people and forcing change never works in the long run , forcing change is only short time. Compatibility is the key word. Someone  who was willing to adapt to my way.
If you are new to the lifestyle , if you are a new Dominant take time find a mentor, a mentor who has life experience , experience in the lifestyle a Dominant who has built a successful D’s or M’s relationship.
If you are serious take a year out of your life and take the time to learn. Listen ,watch and learn.
Just because you meet a submissive it does not mean he or she is the right submissive for you… Compatibility is 90% the other 10% is finding that fit.
You’re  life is about to change , this is why I suggest a year. You are going to add more responsibility to your life , you are going to have to dedicate another 40 hours on top of your full-time job.
She is too emotional,  she is to codependent , she wants rules , she wants protocols , she wants to give up full control,she wants to be trained and you do not have a clue, why you ask? Because you did not take the proper steps. You did not want to invest enough time. You read a book and few post watched some porn and now you are a Self Ordained Bad ass Dominant who knows everything.  well , welcome to a whole new world.
This is where compatibility issues come into play, this is the time you discover if you fit or you just walk away.
There are d’s couples who have none of the above , there are those who have very few rules and protocols. The Dominant speaks the submissive listens. If this is you then find youre fit. Please do not drag someone through your mistakes and the lack of not caring.
She does not listen , she does not follow rules , she does not follow protocols. What have you done to control the above? What steps have you taken ? What have you done as far as Discipline ? If you are going to put a rule or protocol in place you have to enforce it , if you do not your words mean nothing and the submissive will lose respect for you.
As with any relationship we have to invest time , when it comes to a D’s or M’s you can double or even triple the time you will need to invest.
The more the submissive begins to trust the more they will want to give and in turn will come the added responsibility. The bad news is it is never ending,as with training, so be careful what you ask for…
To help you get a step in the door , find a mentor , find a Dominant support group . the chances are there is probably a group close to you even a Dominant to mentor you. Mentorship I would imagine would be at least a year, and i would think a year would be worth a life long relationship.
When I am approached about mentoring , I spend a little time seeing if the new dominant is really serious. The bad news is once i agree it usually only last a couple of weeks then the dominant knows everything and they no longer need my advice.
Remember I am living a successful M’s relationship
Again just because you find a submissive it does not mean she is the right submissive. It also does not mean you are the right dominant.

My Spirituality And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, fetlife,,, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, Religion, Slave, Submission, Submissive, on April 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

While I may be very outspoken , loud at times , I do have a habit of speaking my mind, in private or public. I am far from politically correct and if I think your bull shitting me I will be the first to call you out.

One obsession I have is speaking with elders , I love their stories of life from the beginning to the present, very wise and most information can be put to very good use. Each story is different , their life is different, some have had a very easy life while others struggled growing up. Some had a good home while other faced abuse on a daily basis.

While in Korea an Elder I met named Kim I would sit for hours and just listen while he spoke in broken English. The stories were very intense. The came the subject of Buddhism which i found very interesting.

Being in the army I could fly most anywhere in the world for about 10.00 dollars and my next stop was Thailand, this was mid 1980 I had just turned 18 and my first taste of the lifestyle.

Although Buddhism is a religion I never looked at it that way , the way I understood it it was a way of life. While at times when I first meet someone I am quick to judge , I try to set aside those feelings and give them a chance but most of the time my gut feeling was right.

I seldom give second chances but there are exceptions at times I am not sure why such as a friend I use to have Daddy M not one but two chances and he proved to be a pig.

I will help others if I see they are doing something to help themselves , if not I decline or I do not even bring it up.

most expect others to just jump in and fix what they have fucked up, remember 90% of our problems are self inflicting , this happens by using bad judgement , and not thinking about the choices and consequences. Trying to cheat the system , trying to get over on someone , be it a friend or even at times family.  I believe today family will fuck you faster and more often than someone you call a friend.

I have said this before I am not against religion I am against organized religion. Organized religion is evil, it is money driven, the poor feed the rich.

Live as you would want to be treated by others and give the same respect.

Today i am not a full practicing Buddhist but I walk with much of the beliefs, I do find time from time to time to meditate. I live a good life and I treat others with respect and I expect the same in return. The only down fall is some take my kindness as a weakness and those who walk into me blind are in a pasture they have never walked.

I can care and have great love for you but that switch can be turned off in a split second and never turned back on, this includes family.

I have nor do I allow drama into our life, I stop it before it becomes poison . The same way I handle problems , I handle before they become a problem.

To have a  successful and growing relationship both have to be honest and upfront , both have to be truthful and able to communicate their needs.

Compatibility is the most important thing when trying to build a relationship. It is okay to give and take on somethings , but if you give on needs it will never work..

The almighty married Dominant who is cheating on his wife. This is no Dom in any way shape or form. His wife wont suck cock or take it up the ass, and not into pain. This is a kink to them and nothing more. They prey on those who are submissive because they believe you are weak and simple minded. They believe you just want to be used and punished.

Your a piece of ass, only able to experience submission when the Dominant can get away from his wife. He comes to your place or you get a room. You suck dick , get your ass beat and your dropped off. Ill text you later..

I get emails all the time and comments as well one just the other day about seeing a married Dom that turned into a disaster , she was able to see she was just being used.

A close friend of mine was seeing a married Dom, why ? I do not have a clue. He could only go out when he had something to do, other than that he was stuck home with wifey.

So he moved and the relationship ended or so she thought, when he sent her a text she politely turned him down and all of a sudden he had found someone younger and told her to go fuck herself.

A few months later another text. Want to Fuck ? She did not reply and the text continued, so I decided to send him an email on fetlife. He would not answer me , but continued to text her and tell her how weak she was followed by the names again. I sent him a total of 8 emails , shrugs. I even invited him to a local function , but that went unanswered …..

I would think as a submissive or slave while in a relationship you would want the whole pie and not just a slice. I would think you would want to be treated with respect. I would think you would want to be cared for. I would think you would want to be more than a piece of ass. I would think you would want to experience the training process, the experience of earning your collar.  Maybe I am wrong ?

My way is not the only way , but i do have a proven formula that I have put together and used and in my relationship it works, and it works well. I trained to fit my needs , I trained to help arianna , I trained so that she could achieve goals, and Ive supported her. Being supportive plays a huge role , just as communication.

As always i got off track a little, but if you follow you know this already. I love sharing my life , I love sharing my growth when it comes to the lifestyle…

Much love



BDSM Relationships Move So Fast

Posted in Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, cock sucking, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominant, Humiliation, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, Passwords, Slave, Submissive, sucking dick, Total Solitude, Verbal abuse, on March 6, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your traditional dating is pretty simple, you meet , talk go out spend time with each other. You go out to eat the movies , parks, kissing making out a little foreplay. You know this things tend to move slowly , both of you are on your best behavior trying to convince each other your the perfect fit.. If it works out it does if it does not oh well.

Then we cross the tracks , the other side of the world a new world unknown to most, something with a dark side , but in a way it is exciting.

Your train of thought changes as a female , you have not yet figured out where you fit in, all you know is what you have read really gets you going.

Now all train of thought is no longer rational , your not thinking clear, your brain is moving at Mach one and as of this moment what you have read , what you have chatted about in chat rooms, and maybe some small talk with women at work or maybe your to ashamed to bring it up.

Your Hormones have just kicked into high gear, all of a sudden you need BDSM in your life this is what you have been missing in your life…

You meet a Dom or Master in a chat room , maybe a Daddy Dom. You now let a complete stranger dictate who and what you are and the way words are put you may not fully understand but you go along with what your being told. He gives little hints using key words you pick up on.

Unlike the traditional dating 20 minutes into the chat , your asked what your limits are ? Limits what the fuck is that? Ahhhh your not sure so he begins to explain feeding you more. The next question is are you Bi ? That is always the first question, the second is do you swallow, do you take it up the ass? Do you enjoy pain? Do you enjoy humiliation ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? What are the shortest shorts you own? Do you go out in public without a Bra? How often do you Masturbate ?

If your not lock then comes the webcam , or kik then talking on the phone leading up to phone sex.

Here is what really gets me is the self punishment , making you punish yourself, spanking your pussy , putting clothes pins on your nipple and clit. Then the name calling starts and you go along with it because you do not know any better. The isolation kicks in keeping you away from friends and family. Your passwords and in most cases your banking information. I have seen a few get completely wiped out, and left with nothing.

If your local and you meet you are to wear a skirt or dress with no panties which I have never figured out. Once you meet about twenty minutes into the conversation he wants to start your training, you either get a room or if your dumb enough you take a complete stranger back to your home.

Then the cock sucking training begins , he blows his load down your throat pats you on your head and tells you to wait on his text..

All of the above happens in a matter of days not weeks or months, days and at times a day.

You are experiencing mass confusion your mind is stuck in neutral and you feel you have no where to turn. On the other hand you are taking the word of one person, then one who claims he can lead you down the right path, the one word you hear is Trust, trust me.

Your going to make mistakes , your going to make more than one , more than two or three and you will continue until you get your head straight.

Everything becomes a chore nothing is now fun, you dread seeing your Dom but at that moment and time he is the only one in your life.

All of the above has to do with your Hormones , and nothing more until your able to take a grasp on things.

The process is not as bad as you think it is, thinking through things is the difficult part..





Mastering The Master

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, emotional,, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Mental BDSM, positive reinforcement, relationships, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Training Arianna, training your slave, with tags , , , , , , , , on February 29, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am not perfect, although many would disagree with that statement. Most who know me think I am loud , very out spoken and at times obnoxious.

On the way to a local coffee group which all the people whoa attend are awesome , a good get together at a local star bucks then at times dinner after. I work from home as most know and come my Friday I need to get out I need that interaction with like minded people.

On our way the group leader was warning new comers of my arrival. I am warning you ahead of time Vile is unfiltered. Unfiltered I never looked at it that way , I simply say what is on my mind be it serious or joking…

Some months ago I received and email from a woman who said my blog was the most disgusting place she had ever visited and i should be shut down. So sitting back I am thinking if you find it that bad, why did you spend time reading it and then making time out of your busy life to email me?

Out in the world I like to have fun , I like to joke around , I enjoy making others laugh, but mostly I love learning how others live our wild lifestyle. I listen , I observe and I take in just like a hard drive on a computer.

I have come a long way in the past twenty five years or so and I am making plans for the next twenty five. I have grown on so many levels , I have set goals , I have made most of my goals and I continue to march forward.

My MAsT Chapter has been approved, Masters And Slaves Together. It was not an easy task and it was about a 13 month process.

Over the years I made mistakes, some were a mistake and at times things I did was because I could, I am me , I will stay me and I will walk my own path , but most of all I will not live a life where I have to be politically correct , my life is on my time and my time only.

I am positive , very optimistic , even if I have negative thoughts I keep them to myself. Everything I do has a plan and I seldom make a mistake but if I do I admit it, after all I can be wrong.

I am in control, I am control of my everyday life, my home and in most cases my job. I run my house , I am in full control, but with all of these choices comes consequences.

Mastering the Master is a long path and it is not an easy road to walk. You have to define who and what you are, you have to define where you are and where you want to be, you have to define the type of relationship you want, but most of all you have to define the type of partner you need in your life, not want but need, a want is nothing a want has no meaning and at times a want can be destructive and childish. I concentrate on my needs if my needs are met there are no wants.

When I first met Arianna I made a promise and a commitment , I told her I will never raise my voice towards her or call her names out of anger and some 3 years later this still holds true. Being in control was a strong need to me , being able to not only listen but being able to communicate in a clear and understanding voice. Saying what I mean and mean what I say , not only saying what I will do but do the things I said I would.

Some say it is healthy to argue and while I may agree a little it depends on how you agree to argue. Bruises heal words cut deeper bruises hurt but words effect someone on a very deep mental state and while one can forgive one will never forget The more you hurt with your words the more you are in danger of losing what you have.

If you are fighting with yours Slave or submissive if you had any type of training then you as a Master needs to sit back and maybe come up with a different approach.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

No where in the above definition does it mention a Master Arguing with their Slave. No where in the statement above does it mention a Master Losing control.

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship.

If you the Master argues with your Slave not submissive but your Slave who is the bitch in the relationship ?

When entering a M/s relationship , a power exchange relationship or a Total power exchange you the Master are taking on a huge responsibility. You need to have a clear plan and a training program in place and a training program that puts you in the lead but more important one who will follow and have the need to follow.

Training someone takes a great deal of thought , every submissive or Slave has a different thought process, different habits and react in different ways . Some are emotional , some may suffer from some type of depression , some may suffer from anxiety the list goes on and on, so what worked in your last relationship surely will not work in your next , that includes training and rules..

I think a lot of the misunderstanding comes from someone who is new to the lifestyle and just jumps in head first and not really having a clue… Waking up one morning and your a Master because of a blog or a porn site you ran across. We as humans are visual and you google BDSM and click images and there is your definition.

Mastering the Master , Mastering communication , Mastering honesty , Mastering commitment, Mastering your devotion , Mastering your understanding of ones needs , Mastering your loyalty , Mastering your consistency , your training but most of all your continued growth.

Each and everyday I work on most of those , not only daily but hourly . I work to maintain what I and we have. I want us as Master and Slave to continue to grow.

The out come is you end up with a best friend , partner , and Slave.




The Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, A Slave Is High Maintenance, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Dominant, emotional,,, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental BDSM, Micromanagement, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Punishment, Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, TPE, Training Arianna, Vile Woods on FaceBook, on February 22, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I never pressured Arianna to call me Sir or Master , I waited because such an honor is clearly earned.

I loved the steps I took in building a relationship, I loved watching the relationship grow, but I also knew in order for it to be successful I had to be who and what I was.

I wanted Arianna to ask , and I waited for that question. Will you be my Master, I knew then I was on the right path.

Although we spoke of training and what our goals were , yes hers and mine , I did not go into any great detail and only answering questions when they were asked.

By earning ones respect you get so much more than trying to demand submission. You can demand submission but your not getting the whole picture nor are you entering a true relationship with any meaning.

A slave is not weak a slave is strong in mind body and soul, however a Slave does have different needs and goals, along with a different type of structure.

I had a strict 90 day plan in hand and I began training without a word. The one thing that made me stop and think was there was absolutely no resistance this was something I had never experienced. Today our relationship requires only daily maintenance , as with any other relationships just on a different level.

There are many definitions today when we try to define a D’s or M’s relationship we are all different and we have different needs.

Although Arianna may be my wife, best friend and partner she is property first, she wears a collar 24/7 that shows my ownership, I can proudly say it has been over 3 years she she has been collard and it has not been off one time. She wears her collar proudly and yes this includes work. Before entering a relationship that was a strict requirement of mine.

Many today do not take the collar serious , it is worn during play , when out to local functions, or when company comes over that is the only time it has any real meaning. If that is your lifestyle that is fine it fits you…

Although we train and we train to fit our needs  , we also have to take the slave into consideration. We need to set goals, we need to insure our property fully understands what is about to happen. We need to insure their needs are met on all levels, many would like to think it is a one way street but that is so far from the truth.

I myself take the collar very serious , it is a sign of ownership, it is a sign of devotion, it is a sign of submission, again do not take this wrong this is only my opinion.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Respecting ones limits be it physically or mentally , knowing the limitations , knowing just how far you can go and still remain in control. Fixing problems before they become problems.

The feeling of security , the feeling of being wanted , the feeling of being needed, but most of all the feeling of being able to trust and respect.

In the beginning when the relationship is defined , what is expected , the rules and protocols, once everything is in place we as Masters cannot change things up a year later, many times going back on your word can be a deal breaker. There are times when something may need to be changed but I feel it needs to be explained in detail how it would benefit the home.

Training is changing the thought process , training is changing habit and replacing them. If you sit and think if done right you can create the perfect partner, that is the easy part , the hard part comes with maintaining it.

The training would include verbal , physical , mental, emotional , and at times rituals this is where structure comes into place. In my Master , slave or Owner , Property structure plays a huge part as with rituals , rituals become rules, protocols become rules.

Although I do feel punishment is needed that is not my main focus, I do not sit around and wait on Arianna to break a rule, she knows when she breaks a rule, which I can say has only happened once in 3.5 years. Positive reinforcement and communication plays a huge roll in any relationship.

Breaking someone to the point of feeling worthless , constant humiliation , abuse mental and physical , remember if you break it you have to fix it. I am more than sure the end result is not something you would want in a lifetime partner.

Training comes in a few different areas , be it service , sexual,  how to speak in public what to wear , how to talk , how to communicate with people or who not to communicate, who to hug or who you shake hands with ,how much do you want to control? We live a Owner Property relationship , a consensual relationship , consensual being the key word. Make no mistake I run and control everything in my home.

Just make sure who ever you are considering make sure they have your best interest in mind..




We Are Master And Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, consequences, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods,, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive, with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Last Friday we attended a local MAsT meeting and I can say it was one of the best meetings I have been to…

The topic was one I would of never thought of , The Seven Deadly Sins , how interesting does this sound when you attached BDSM to the topic.

Last year I was speaking with a very good friend of mine and the topic of Arianna came up and he said it was like I hit the power ball . He continued saying the relationship we had was very unusual even for a Master and Slave. As I was trying to take in his words I did not fully understand mainly because I am just me.

I very seldom speak about what I have done , nor am I one to brag. Many who know me think I am conceded but that is so far from the truth, the bottom line is I am just confident, and I am confident be it in private or public..

While at MAsT a Mistress made a comment that in any relationship there must be some sort of a exchange of power. As I listened I was trying to understand and I spoke up and said I disagreed , continuing I began to explain in my home I had complete control and the final say.

The Mistress then asked Arianna if she worked out of the home, of course the answer was yes, a 40 hour a week job she has been at for some 16 years. She was then asked if I controlled what she did at work and made her decisions , I saw this getting way off topic, but Arianna replied while she did make decisions at work I knew her every move, Arianna stated if she was told to quit her job she would do so , but it would fall on me, the responsibility and the consequences.

What makes a Master and Slave relationship ? The answer is there is no real clear definition , Each M’s relationship is unique in its own way, it is the way each relationship is defined between two.

The same with those who live a D’s relationship , it is the two who defines their relationship. No one has the right to tell someone they are wrong, no one has the right to tell someone they do not know what they are doing.

Many do not understand our relationship, and while some may be curious once I try and explain some find it to be unbelievable.

Some 3.5 years now I can say Arianna and I have yet to have an argument, and that is something I am proud of , that is something I have or we have both worked hard for. The base of this is from our communication.

When her and I first met we noticed the compatibility right away, we noticed how easy it was to talk to each other and not at each other.

I put strict protocols in place more protocols than rules. Protocol creates stability, consistency and forms good habits , Protocols keeps everything in check, and by staying consistent it keeps everything smooth…

At times a Master needs to humble , a Master needs to accept responsibility when something goes wrong. A Master must admit when he is wrong, as much as I would like to say I am perfect I am not, although at times I may feel I am, but I truly believe that is just confidence.

Expressing my needs prior to entering our relationship , I went into great detail when it came to my needs being met and I was not willing to give in or change anything.

On the other side I had to agree to Arianna’s needs in the type of M’s relationship she was seeking. If I did not agreed with her needs then it would not of been fair if she settled for anything less.


Going into a Lifestyle relationship you have to have a clear picture and understanding of what your getting into. If you look over the bad then you have to deal with the consequences, after all you made the choice…

A mistress was questioning Arianna or stating that there had to be a time in our relationship where she had some control, as the conversation continued it was a D’s relationship she was speaking about and not an M’s.

Arianna made the comment , My master has complete control but with control comes consequences. That is a very true statement that is why when I make a major decision I am thinking of two and not one, however there are times we sit down and I want her opinion and there are times when I do take her advice and roll with it.

Instead of criticizing someones relationship  maybe we should take a little to understand their dynamics. Maybe if we took the time to learn our community would not be so divided.





Sex and Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Bondage Cuffs, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head,, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, sex, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world of BDSM is much different that=n the vanilla world, the little flirts , the long love making sessions , the caressing the I love you’s. The comes the no I am not doing anal , no I am not sucking your dick, or I do not swallow.

If you as a submissive look back on your vanilla dating and look at now there is a clear different.

In the vanilla world if you acted kinky you were a slut , so as we grew older we tended to hide our kink, until it was no longer controllable..

It takes time to get adjusted in the lifestyle we make many mistakes and mistakes we wish we had never made , but as long as you learn and you keep moving forward there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although most when thinking about submission the word sex comes up, most think sex is the biggest part of the lifestyle and to many it is , but it really runs much deeper.

Submission being able to get into the mind and just walk around and check things out, being able to do silly mind fucks. Being able to understand the way your submissive or slave thinks, why they think the way they do, what makes them think?

Being in control , most who say they have limits when it comes to giving up control in a stable relationship the limits will slowly fade.

Sir Franco Bolli @  Made the following comment

..It is my personal experience that it is not so easy to find a partner who is compatible. Having found an almost perfect match is a true blessing.

The above statement is very true , this is why it is important you do not jump into the first frying pan. Being compatible means everything including outside of the bedroom on your back or on your knees.

If your going into a D’s or M’s relationship and your soul purpose is to be a used fuck toy then you need to have that understanding and both have to be on the same page.

Most of the time when you enter a new relationship everything for the first week or month is good, but then something happens you become more clingy , more needy you want to give up more control but your dom is not on board? This is when you communicate your needs. If you fear speaking what is on your mind then your in the wrong relationship, or if you do and your Dom is not on board then again your in the wrong relationship.

BDSM has really change so much over the past 10  years , today it is more of a kink than a lifestyle , most are only bedroom and that is fine if it works for you.

I do not have a switch I can turn on and off, at times it would be nice but as of right now I am in a good place , life is good.

BDSM today is more of a sexual based than anything , for the most it is just about sucking cock and fucking and very little to do with the D’s or M’s side of things.

I like the control , I need the control and not just in the bedroom. I need a very structured home , I need protocols in place as well as some rules. The truth is if you have the first two in place very few rules are needed. once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance and communication.

I love sex but sex is on my terms, I love the kink but on my terms, I love bondage and at times extreme bondage again on my terms. I have the final say in our home , be it from dinner going out or even when and where money is spent.

That is why when meeting someone new it is very important to be on the same page. Before entering any type of relationship both needs to know what is expected of each other and where both want to be and what part each will take on.

The submission is earned it cannot be demanded , it is earned by earning respect , and being who and what you say you are.

Control is in the mind , submission is in the mind , although being physical is good , it does not take being physical to earn ones submission. You cannot earn ones submission through intimidation those types of relationships are short lived.

Being compatible when it comes to sex is very important , sticking to your limits is very important , finding someone who respects your limits is a must.

As in any D’s or M’s relationship a great deal of time has to be invested, time invested from both not just one.

If you the slave or submissive are going to lay on your back or get on your knees then you should get something out of the relationship. It should be more than just fucking or sucking , or the Dom trying to find out how much pain you can take.

What do you want to do with your one life.

This set was custom made for Arianna by my good friend Jon. We received them yesterday and I have never seen such quality….