Archive for the Conform Category

Your Not Broken , Or Are You

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, codependent, Conform, Consensual, consequences, consistent, control, Master, needy, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick with tags , , , , on July 25, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Over the years I have spoken to many who were submissive telling me they were broken.
Over the years I have taking in several who were in a bad way in one form or another, from being abused to drug addiction, and for the most I was pretty successful in helping most.
The one thing I stand by is I will only help those who are trying to help themselves, no free ride here. I made it clear you want help you gotta work for it.

There were no sexual favors, I am not wired like that, but the gratification of seeing someone on their last leg, and walk out the door with a car and a job and ready to move on, was worth more than any medal, or any amount of cash.

You cannot think your submissive, you cannot think your a slave, you have to know. You have to know without a doubt. Because if you enter a relationship you are in for a very long hard road.

Okay so your needy, so what if you have problems making decisions, so what if you get overwhelmed, who cares if your codependent. Many of these are characteristics of a submissive or a slave.
Don’t jump the gun every sub or slave is not what I described above , but for the most the above is true.

The problem is when you enter a relationship with a Dominant who is not willing to take on some of the responsibility, or someone who is in it just for the sex. Yes even those who are married and your just his hoe on the side.

If a Dominant tells you that your to needy fix it, then you have entered the wrong room.

You shared all of this information with the Dominant when you first met, you spilled your heart out believing he was going to be there for you. You thought you were excepted for the way you were, and you were until the needy in you came out. Then you were no longer a mouth to fuck you are now a burden. You have become the problem, you no longer are a need. So the Dom will begin to distance himself from you.

Now providing you were honest from the beginning, there is no reason for a change of attitude.

Some will disagree with me but I believe if your needy , then you will always be needed. Some will say that can be fixed. The same with someone being codependent , you may be able to tell someone they do not have to be codependent and help is available to them with medication of course, or after years of counseling. Why not just find someone who excepts you for who you are ? That to me seems like its pretty simple.

That is what you tell yourself over and over. I want someone to except me for me. I do not want someone to try and change me.

Now when you are broken, is when your in a fucked up relationship, and your taking all the bullshit , hoping your Dom is going to change or fix something and you know its not going to happen, then yes your Broken.

When you sit around and complain about how fucked up your life is , then yes your Broken….

Although it is you who would have to adapt to your new Dominant or Masters way, you should not have to change who you are.

Do not ever believe there is something wrong with being needy, Do not ever be concerned if you are in any way codependent, you should be excepted for who and what you are.

Arianna has limitations, I knew that going into the relationship, I also know when she has hit that point of being overwhelmed. I excepted that. I know something make her stressed, I also excepted that.
I helped I did not try to change her, that is who I fell in love with. Why change perfection?

You can be Broken or not it is your choice.



Some Dominants Act Like Hitler

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, books, Conform, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Master, Master And Slave, Pain, punish, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, submit with tags on July 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

One thing you will never see me do is bad mouth another Dominant , I may not agree with the way he runs his house, or controls his property , but that is strictly between him and his property.
Someone told me a couple of weeks ago , she said you don’t like my Daddy. I said no that is not it I do not respect him. I have never met him, he could be the biggest douche bag in the world, I could still like him, but I could never respect.

There is not one set of rules on how a house is ran. There are no books that can tell you how to run your house. There are how ever opinions, and they are just that opinions.

What works for one Dominant will not work for another. What works for one submissive will not work the same for another, this applies more towards a slave, the M’s relationship runs so much deeper.

When it comes to training every sub or slave has different needs, although you may be able to use some information out of a book, I can almost guarantee you will not be able to run your house by the manual.

I have read books in the past, and they were absolutely no help to me , I was not able to learn anything new or anything I could use. Are these books wrong? No they are someones opinion, what works for them will not work for everyone.

Arianna’s old Dominant had what he called Law infractions, misdemeanors, and felony’s , which I think is pretty cool, the wordage that is, but to show her what the punishment would feel like just to be showing. A Felony included pussy slapping but pretty extreme. While I do believe in rules, and they should be enforced a submissive or slave should not have to live in fear.

This brings me back to the ego minded 128 rules , you will have to memorize and repeat back to me word for word. Get the fuck out. If a Dominant tells you that you have to learn the rules word for word ask him if he can. One thing I learned long ago to earn and keep respect you never tell someone to do something you cannot do.

If you just sit around and wait on a rule to be broken, your relationship will go nowhere fast. You can cause enough stress and the sub or slave will breaks rules without even wanting or meaning to..

The abuse runs much deeper though, not only the physical , but the mental side of abuse, abuse that is so bad it caused a beautiful 22 year old girl to take her own life. To think if you just checked out, you would be in a much better place. Someone like many just trying to find the right one.

There is a clear difference in a Dominant being confident, and a Dominant who is ego driven. The difference is the way you are treated.

The married Dominant will not treat you very well, mainly because you are disposable if you leave he still has Momma, and Momma is not going anyplace he will make sure of that.

Those who are fueled by their ego will never change Dominant ,Master Or Mistress, things will never change..



When Do You Give Up On Training On A Submissive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Argue, Arianna, Bad Dominant, Baggage, bdsm, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, journal, Master, Protocol, punish, Punishment, serve, slave, Spanking, Structure, Submission, submissive, The New Dominant with tags on May 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is really a hard question to answer, but sometimes you do just have to say okay I am done , its not working.

The reason behind my way of thinking is there are many who are submissive or a slave who have never lived a 24/7 relationship. You feel submissive you think your submissive, everything you have read points to you.  Remember we as humans are visual people, while reading your taking in the information but your eyes make contact first. Then you see pictures, and fantasies come to mind, again the visual thing.

Training someone new is a huge task for the Dominant, but it can be just as hard to train someone who has years of experience, and I shall explain.

Training someone who has years of experience in the lifestyle most are set in their ways. Most already have expectations on what to expect, but then comes the comparing part. The new Dominant will always in most cases be compared.There are those times things just fall into place.

The submissive or slave who has never been with a dom, in the beginning stages is very excited at the thought or opportunity to be excepted and is very eager to begin their training.

Training should begin as soon as possible, from my past experience those who continue to put training off really have no clue on how to train. Just like the Dom I spoke about last week when he told me he was going to start training a baby girl, when asked what he planned on doing, his answer was the usual.  Which meant he really had no clue, and that is all he had to tell me but Mr Ego got in the way.

The new Novice Dominant is always willing to jump in head first. He has been waiting for his chance to prove himself. Just like the young wolf. The young wolf has been waiting for the chance to show the older wolfs he can stand his own ground but will learn very soon it is much more than what he thought. He will learn it is much more than just barking out rules and looking for reasons to punish. He will learn quick that if not well equipped he will fail.

So when do you just give up on training ? As I stated above the lifestyle to many is just a fantasy, once the submissive gets a taste of the lifestyle they may soon find out they have stepped into a world that is just not them. Maybe they are just submissive in the bedroom which is going to be the case most of the time, or they do not want to follow rules.

If you are just hitting dead ends while you are trying to train, and the submissive is putting up resistance and is not willing to adapt to your ways. Why would you want to exhaust to much time and energy on something that may never come to light.

If you find you are arguing, yelling at each other, why would either want to go through the trouble? One can be submissive in the bedroom but once outside its back to the normal. You cannot force someone to conform, it will never happen.

Start out by giving small task, a few rules, have the submissive start a daily journal. If the submissive is ready and truly wants to life the lifestyle they will follow through. You may need to correct somethings, ask questions if things are not completed , this is where communication comes into play.

If things are not going well and it has been a month or so, there is no need to keep trying, and it is neither ones fault…. One or two things, either the lifestyle was not for the submissive, or your not the right Dominant.

The best thing to do at this point is to part as friends.  Why stress yourself out over something that will never come to be.

Lastly if you are not 24/7 it is almost impossible to train your submissive. You are not there there for you truly do not have any real control.  If you have no control how can you possibly train.

When I first met Arianna I was somewhat skeptical just because of the way she had been treated by previous Doms, but once she moved in everything just fell into place. Arianna put up no resistance at all and was the most compliant slave I had met to date..

One thing that will surely help is if neither brings any bad baggage into the relationship. Baggage and drama will make you fail. The idea is to start out fresh and new.

As far as things not working out, it does not make you a bad dominant, it just means you were not the dominant for the submissive. , or the submissive was not right for you.

As far as the online thing I never understood that anyway.



So You Really Want To Be A Slave

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anger, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, Be who you are, being used, Conform, Consensual, control, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Dominance, Dominants, Fantasy, Master, Master And Slave, Masters, Pet, Security, serve, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, The World Of BDSM, Total Slavery, TPE on January 13, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Being truly owned , being an owned Slave , giving yourself 100%. Having the need to submit. You feel lost but your not sure why. Something in your life is missing but you cannot put your finger on it.

Bdsm we think of all the kink , the spankings , being Daddy’s little girl, , maybe your a puppy but you have never been able to express yourself, maybe your a kitten but it has always been just a fantasy.

Most of you who are submissive has had these and other thoughts from a very early age, while growing up you knew your way of thinking was different from your other friends, or maybe you shared some, with those you knew you could talk to. Then some of you well just made it your own little secret.

So now your a grown woman, but the feelings run much deeper, your thoughts are running wild, but now you dare not share anything, mainly because not many would understand or care to have you try and explain it. The search is on. You have to find yourself but most important you have to find someone who will not only understand you, but except you. Except you for the person you are and need to be.

Welcome to the world of BDSM This is where your wildest dreams, and fantasies , thoughts and desires can come true. It is like opening a door and walking through to a whole new dimension, another world, almost like time travel, because in this world anything and everything is possible.

This is a place where you can be you and you will not be judged , you will not be looked down on. All of those hidden thoughts can now come true.

It all seems very easy, if you think it you can do it, and if you want it bad enough you fight until you get what you need. No one said the path is easy, or that we are not going to make mistakes, because we all make mistakes. The key is to learn from our mistakes and move on to bigger and better things. You can now look back and think man what a dumb ass, but now I am here.

Finding acceptance means everything, finding someone who will understand you, someone who cares about your feelings and thoughts. Someone who is willing to take control, and take the lead.

Being a Daddy’s girl is a very special relationship, the Daddy is so loving and understanding. Being a baby girl makes you feel special, and as you should. Being able to be a pet, and just be lazy around the house, or acting crazy like a little puppy would. In this world you can be who and what ever you want, and you will find someone who wants the same thing. We should be able to be who and what we are, when and where we want.

Being a submissive , you crave the feeling to be able to kneel in front of someone. You crave the feeling of being able to submit, to give yourself, but on your term. The submissive sets the pace of the relationship. This is what many do not understand, this submissive is just that. The submissive is not a slave. You as the submissive set the guidelines, and it is you who decides just how far you want to take your submission. You decide what rules you want to follow. A D’s relationship is very special just like a Daddy’s girl, or a puppy , a kitten, or a pony. You are all very special in your own way. You each have something special to offer.

You may find someone right away or it may take time, it is important you find that fit. The one your compatible with, the one you can trust, and tell your deepest inner secrets. Then you are free.

The Slave, the Slave wants to give up full control. The Slave says here is my life do with it as you see fit, but please take care of me, that is all I ask. The Slave you can use me when ever you want the word no will never come out of my mouth. Please just take care of me. I will suck your cock at the snap of a finger, I will spread my legs with just a glance, I will proudly kneel waiting for you to arrive home. I will take care of you the way you need to be taking care of, just please take care of me. The Slave I will adapt to your way of life. I will serve you, I will submit at all times, I will follow your rules your protocols, I will sit at your feet proudly. Just please take care of me.

The above is really deep and it is true for many. An M’s relationship is a very special one, the relationship runs deep, and the bond is like no other.

D’s or M’s these are two different meanings. Dominant and submissive , Master and Slave. Tow totally different lifestyles but we should all respects each others needs. We should not judge we should all be family, not in a sense of living together but in a sense of being there for someone, being able to talk even if we do not understand.

I asked Arianna why do you want to be a slave? How do you see yourself living as a Slave on a day by day basis? How do you want to be treated ? How do you want to serve ? Most important what do you expect to get out of such a relationship?

I want to give up full control, I want to be micromanaged , I want to be in full submission. All of these things I had to consider. Did I want the same? Did I want that much responsibility ? Did I want that much control over someones life ?

After spending much time together and I found out we had a lot in common, I decided to give it a go. This was something that was new to me as well. So I had to put a plan together, not only for me, not only for Arianna, but for both of us.

How do I know your really a Slave or want to be a Slave ? How do I know its just not a fantasy? How do I know its just not a phase your going through ? How do I know your real ? How do I know you truly have these feelings ?

Arianna made the comment yesterday she needed to feel more submissive, she wanted to be able to give more. She needed to give up more control.

I said your already there, you are giving everything, you have giving everything. You do not see it because you live it everyday. Everything has just come natural. You are where you are suppose to be, I just have to keep it in check.

The words come up again Behavior Modification it is real. Arianna’s life has taking a 360 degree turn and she does not even see it. Unless she looks back at where she was a year and a half ago, two years ago, 15 years, 20 years. Then and only then can she see the difference. Everything just fell into place, and it was not hard because she is where she has always wanted to be, and she is able to be who she wants and needs to be a Slave.

I did cut her hair, I almost shaved the right side of her head. Why ? Because I could, because I wanted to see just how much control I had, but more so to see how much control she wanted to give. Okay so it was a test, maybe not a very good one, but it was a test, and she passed. Now her hair has grown back out.

Being a Slave does not make you weak, being a slave does not make you a doormat , your not a house keeper, or just a cook. I myself help out when I can. I do laundry from time to time, I cook when I am able to. On my days off I do want Arianna wants to do, I go where she wants to go. Because her being happy is my only need and concern.

I do use Arianna and on a regular basis. I use her as I see fit, I use her for my pleasure, but the difference is I give back. I give back way more than I take. I am there 24/7.

There is no yelling, there is no fighting, there is no arguing. The other day we had a very deep conversation. I had done somethings she was not happy with. She was able to express your feelings, she let me know she was hurt, and I listened. I really could not explain myself because I had messed up. We did not argue or yell at each other. Then we spoke as husband and wife. Now I have to make sure I do not make the same mistake again.

Your submissive or slave, baby girl, who ever you are. You should be allowed to express yourself. You have that need it is not a want. You should be able to communicate on any level, without being scared of talking. You should be able to question your dominant, your daddy or master when something is not going right, or you feel you have been mistreated.

Am I mean ? Am I cruel ? Am I an ass ? Am I unfair ? Do I abuse Arianna ? I can say being very truthful I am none of those. I am the Master that Arianna told me she needed and nothing more. Many of you do not understand. I am sure many never will, unless you are willing to take that step.

In order to be happy we have to be who and what we are. If we live our life for someone else then we will never be happy.



Behavior Modification Is Alive And Real

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, Behavior Modification, Change, communication, Conform, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fetish, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Kink, kinky, MAST, Master, Master And Slave, needy, owning a slave, poly, Protocol, Rules, sex, slave, Slave no rights, slave positions, stop smoking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Slavery, TPE, Train your slave, training your slave on January 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

First things first today is the 12th of January and I am cigarette free. Well not totally I have this little friend called an ecig, which has really helped. There are some pretty bad withdraws though, this is after smoking for 38 years.

Now The Story.

Behavior Modification is real and alive. Along with such modification comes choices and consequences. Remember as a Dominant or Master we are taking full control over someones life. I am not so sure if this really is geared towards Dominants although there may be more than I really know about.

Most slaves when you start speaking about Behavior Modification, kinda look mat you like their skeptical , or like your nuts, but it is alive and well.

The choice however should be that of the slaves. How far do you want to take your submission? How do you see yourself living as a slave on a daily basis? How do you see yourself serving? Is it Domestic? Sex Slave ? or both?

Arianna wanted to relinquish full control. She wanted zero responsibility. Again that was something I did not just jump into, because now you have a huge ass fire you have to be able to control. You the master has to keep this fire contained, you have to learn how to control it.

I have talked about this before but maybe not in as great detail. How deep you want to go now depends on the master.

I thought for sure there would be some type of resistance but that was not the case, as a matter of fact there was none, which really shocked me

So to start out with all the things in life she liked or wanted, she now had to ask for. Instead of just sitting she had to ask for permission. She had to ask for permission to go to the bathroom, to eat, to drink, to get dressed. She was no longer able to make the simplest decisions, with the exception of work.

She was now told how to dress, how to do her hair, what color. She had to ask for permission to do her nails and I picked the color and she wore the color whether she liked or not. I picked out a hair style, this was the deal breaker here or so I thought. We went to a beauty shop and I showed the woman the style and she just looked at me. She shaved one side of Arianna’s head, leaving the other somewhat long. This all falls under Behavior Modification.

Once you begin I will say it again you have to be consistent in your training. You can not give in or give your slave a day of rest for the first 90 days. You must be diligent in your training. No matter how bad you feel , you have to stay on track.

You take things away from the slave, such as free time, Tv, music, limit their phone use. Everything they had available on a daily basis now becomes a need.

Humiliation should also play a factor in your training. Slave positions is a good way to start. Making the Slave expose themselves to you. Chances are they have been seen nude, but never fully exposed. On their back legs spread with them pulling their lips open just for your viewing pleasure, or position number two I like on hands and knees head down ass up both hands spreading ass wide open, again just for your viewing pleasure.

I do not think anyone really uses the words Behavior Modification during training. Most of the time it is I am going to train you, but what you are doing is teaching someone your way of life and what is expected. You either conform to the new way of life or you don’t, you either stay or you don’t. If you choose to stay then let the process begin, how the process goes all depends on the Slave, it can be an easy transition or you can fight it.

I have blogged about  Behavior Modification before but I wanted to cover a lot more, I felt like I left somethings out, and I will probably think of more down the road.

Maybe some Dominants do not take things to the extreme,maybe some do not want to dedicate so much time, but if your like me, I want the whole pie.

Wanting the whole pie to me is a need not really a want, that is why I have been so against poly. If you find a Slave who completes everything, I see no need for another. Other Slaves are brought in because one cannot fill certain needs the Master has. I have asked other Master what the need is and the answer is always because I want different flavors. So you take one Slave and you mold all the flavors into one. Kinda like going to Baskin Robins Ice cream, and getting a little of each in one container.

That is the same with Behavior Modification you are taking a Slave and molding her to fit your needs. How many Slaves can one Master really take care of. The fact is most who are a Salve or Submissive are very needy, I did not say all but for the most that is true. Most are very emotional. To add another would be taking needed time away from the first Slave, which you always say they are number one.

Some Slaves prefer the poly lifestyle , if the Master is a Sadist and you are not a Masochist, you would gladly open the door for another to come in and take your place, better the other slave than you, I guess.

The one thing a Submissive or Slave needs to understand, your Dominant or Master is not going to change, that will never happen. What will happen is you will change, and most likely you will change your whole life to fit ones needs.

BDSM is not about sex although today most think so BDSM equals fucking or sucking cock, or beating you until you cannot walk. That is a type of Behavior Modification, because that is how you the sub or slave understands how things are and you just go along with the flow of things.

I am more about control. I put rules in place, I put protocols in place, and it is very simple you follow or you don’t. When I was in my teens , 20’s and early 30’s I was all about sex , but there comes a time when you have to grow up, or want more things out of life, or like some you never grow up, things never go your way and it is always someones fault and never yours.

I love sex, I really do it is almost like a fetish to me, but I do not let my cock run my life. If I want my cock sucked I will tell Arianna, if I want to fuck the same. I would think a grown man would want more out of life than just a piece of ass.

A couple of Months ago at a MasT meeting in Orlando the topic came up about what if a Slave decides to move on. As I stated If it has been long term I would think it would be difficult just because of all of the above and that is based on the Behavior Modification process both the Master and Slave has gone through.

If you jump from Master to Master even just while searching for the right one, you as a Slave never get to experience the whole process, the true feeling of TPE Total Power Exchange.

I believe with a Dominant and Submissive it does not go as deep as an M’s relationship, because the training process is totally different. I do not think the Dominant invest as much time as  master Does in an M’s relationship. I could be wrong but this is my train of thought.

When Arianna states she is a no rights Slave that is what she is. I will admit the training was much easier than I had anticipated, and everything just fell into place. She made the needed adjustments and was able to make a somewhat smooth transition.

I may at times act up and get a little goofy, but I can say there is no one who could fill her shoes. There is no one like Arianna who could stand toe to toe with her, and be the Slave I need, and more so be the Slave she needs to be.


Behavior Modification Good Or Bad ?

The above is just my opinion, it is the way I see things. You may think different as a Dominant or Master but in the end we want the same for ours.



Giving Up Total Control

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, Being fucked, being used, blow job, Chained to the floor, Change, communication, Conform, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Dress Protocol, fucking, Korea, Lie, MAST, Master, Molding, pleasure, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, slave, Slave no rights, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, surrender, Thailand, The Master should adapt, The slave must adapt, Total Slavery, TPE, Train your slave, training your slave on December 29, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not sure if a Submissive is capable of giving up full control, I know a Bottom would not think about doing so. I do think under the right circumstances a Submissive could cross that line into the Slave hood.

I have lived with a few Submissive’s the relationships I knew were not going to work. It was mainly to fill a void at that moment and time. We all need someone, and at times we make mistakes by settling for less.

Maybe if I wanted to really invest time while I was with a submissive things may have turned out different, but I was not feeling that interject. Although you can train someone to fit your needs, if the other is willing.

Once I put my foot down and finely came to realize that I needed more. I stopped fucking around. I cannot tell you how many Slaves or who thought they were Slaves I met. You can tell after the first ten minutes or so if your going to click. Okay we are not clicking so what do I take her home, fuck her and send her on her way, nah we will finish dinner then say hey it was great but lets just stay friends. This is how I programmed my mind. I refused to settle for less . I was going to find the one.

A Submissive or Bottom has the right to say no, and the Dominant has to respect that word. After all his partner is just a submissive and not a Slave. The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary , although she does have the right to speak up when she has a concern and I do value her opinion.

A couple of months ago I was talking to this Daddy Dom at a local Mast group, this is when he told me he was not the type of Dom she needed. He said she was way to needy. I said welcome to the world of BDSM buddy.

Most who are Submissive or Slaves are needy, very needy. This is something you have to except if you wish to be in a relationship. Being needy is not a bad thing nor does it make you any less of a woman. Finding the right one who is able to be there and fill that gap is important.

Just as I told this Daddy Dom, if you really care about your submissive, then you should be able to Adapt. If you really care then you should be able to fill that void. Well she is into pain and I am not. Again if you really care you as a Dominant should want and be able to adapt. You must be willing to put as much into the relationship as your submissive is, if not you will fail.

Think about being a Slave, A Slave who has been looking for sometime, and just running into road blocks, making the wrong connections. I know myself even as a Dominant I would of felt pretty lost, I did while living with those who I was not really into, a very lost feeling.

So a Slave enters her new Masters Home, sits her bad by the door, her life is about to change and change forever. As soon as she closed that door behind her she left all rights on the other side. The slave no longer has any say so. The slave can no longer watch TV when she wants to, cannot shower until told. Told what to wear, Told where she is allowed to sit or where to stand. What time to go to bed. Your sitting at the table working out the final details of what it is going to be like and what is expected. Either you agree or you pick your bag up and walk back out

Most of the time I let Arianna prepare dinner, she will tell me what she wants to cook, although I do not complain about food, because while in Korea and Thailand I ate some pretty fucked up shit, so nothing really taste bad. I may change mine up from time to time. The other night Arianna wanted chicken breast, fine you bake yours I want mine fried. No questions, no buts that is how it was prepared.

I cannot even imagine how a Slave feels once she walks through that door and closes it. The Slave now has to adapt to her new Masters ways. The Slave has to Adapt to rules, Protocols. The slave has to adapt to a brand new environment.

She asked me how will I know what to do. My answer was just watch, listen and observe, and do exactly what your told. I also told her I want you to be able to anticipate my needs, that was a statement she did not understand. She worried about it for months, but everything just fell into place. Today I seldom have to ask for anything because it is already done for me. Watching and Observing.

One of the first things I did was introduce her to people I knew in the lifestyle, as a reference, as I told her from the beginning I would. After that I cut off all the outside world except for her work and family. The trained had begun. Eight months Arianna was not even allowed on the furniture, eight months. Something I need to more often that I did before was feed her. have her set on the floor at the table and feed her as I eat. She loves that feeling, or more so being chained to the table while eating.

Anticipating my needs. I ask Arianna what are you thinking about I do several times a day. I want to know where her thoughts are. A lot of the time she will reply sucking your cock.

Anticipating my needs, my night clothes are out when I get home, water by my bed. drying me off when I step out of the shower. Filling my glass without having to ask. Spreading when told to, it is about my needs.

I was drinking coffee the other day at the kitchen table and I got to thinking I have this fine ass bitch sleeping naked in my bed, I need to hit that. I walked in undressed, crawled on top spread her legs fucked her dumped my load and got off, and she loved it, she loved the fact that I just came in and used her for my pleasure.

Arianna is needy probably the neediest slave I have ever met, but I get so much in return The word needy never really crosses my mind. I knew she was needy when I first met her, I knew she needed to be micromanaged when I first met her. I knew everything upfront, I excepted her and I knew I had to follow through.

I cannot imagine what a Slave would feel like once that door closed. It has to be pretty scary. A very lost feeling, very unsure. I am not sure at what point the reality kicks in, I have never asked arianna that question.

Us as the Dominant there are only a few things we need to do, to make sure the relationship grows. We must stay honest, we must live by the truth, but most of all stay consistent , and we must follow through with what we say. If we do those few things and we stay in line. The Slave will follow, the Slave will drop to their knees without question, the slave will spread without question.

It took sometime for Arianna to stop second guessing me, to stop worrying about things. Today things have change for the most, at times she still wants to second guess, she still worries, I cannot change that so its on her, but I have seen a vast improvement.

Trust does not happen over night, it takes time to build. I am not talking a week a month maybe not even six months. I would imagine it would depend on how many times the slave has been burnt. Trust is everything.

Last but not least. The slave has to know there are consequences to their actions. The slave also has to know you will follow through with any punishment. If you do not follow through as you stated, you the Dominant will begin to lose control, once you lose that control. Kick the dirt and move on because you will not be able to regain.



Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Advice, anal sex, and Respect, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, Change, codependent, Collar, Collared Slave, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominants, Drama, emotional, Emotions, Fake Slaves, Fake submissive, fucking, Honesty, Humiliation, Kink, kinky, Master, needy, problems, punish, Punishment, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, sucking cock, sucking dick, Train your slave, training your slave, Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant on December 6, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This happens all the time, I also here this all the time. The last was maybe I am not the Master for her or she needs more and I cannot give more.

Every Submissive is different , every Slave is different. Their minds, their thoughts , their needs, their actions. Each has a different level of needs. Some are real emotional , some are very needy, some become fully dependent on their Master, while others function very well outside of the home. Some need 24 hour care while some do not. Some need stricter rules, guidelines, protocols, while others do not.

Some act bratty , while most are very docile. Most are very quite and some are very out spoken.  Most are very Compliant , while some need a little more work.

Men who do not have a clue think owning a slave is about her sucking cock or just spreading her legs. Tying the slave up and just beating her ass until she cannot walk, and to a new submissive or slave these actions are exceptable. no questions asked until they start talking to other slave.

The key is getting to know the slave, knowing them as a person not just in the lifestyle. Knowing about their interest, hobby’s, the movies they enjoy, music. The foods they like. The Dominant should know the slave inside out.

Once this is achieved then you move on to different levels speaking about the lifestyle, a week or maybe more may of gone by before you should get into the kinks.

Let me tell you something, if you meet someone on line and after 20 minutes or so it turns to sex, he wants one thing and one thing only. That is your mouth or what is between your legs, and nothing more. The New Dom may hang on to you for eh 3 months 6 months but he will grow tired of you pretty fast. You will find out you will spend 90% of your time on your knees sucking dick, another 5% texting, and the other 5% being ignored

When another Dominant complains about how his slave is not compliant I just shake my head. If this is the case his game plan was way off from the start.

What rules you gave your last slave may not be the rules your new slave needs, or guideline as well as protocols. That is why it is very important to get to know your slave as a person , you have to become best friends. Because you are about to enter uncharted waters.

We as Dominants are looked up to, we are suppose to be leaders, we guide we share tons of information, but most we have to earn and gain the trust of the slave. We as Dominants should be able to adapt to most situations. Sometimes we may have to bend a little if we think a slave may be compatible in most areas that interest us.

The Slave will adapt to their new home, and most will adapt freely without question. We need to only provide a few things. Honesty , be truthful, teach and train , communication, and security. The slave will adapt.

Rules are put into place for improvement, rules are for the betterment of the slave. If more than half of your rules as a slave are about sex, what is it you are getting out of it ? How is you must worship my cock for the betterment of you ?

It is not that the slave is not compliant, the Dominant did not go into the relations with the right game plan, by the time you start to argue, yell call each other names it is way to late. You the Dominant has lost the game, pick up your duffel bag and move on.

You also hear it is the slaves fault , that bitch would not listen, I had no control over her. Ha that one word CONTROL I had no control over her. Now whose fault is that, certainly not the slaves, who was in charge? Who was the leader the Slave?

Another factor is if a slave enters a new relationship but she is afraid to end it, she will do things just to upset the dom, not follow rules back talk, act up, until the Dom has taken all he can. Still the slave is not to blame. I do suppose some could be just total bitches and give you a run for your money, push your buttons to see how far they can go. It is still up to the Dominant to remain in control, and stay in control.

If you have a bad temper, you scream, yell degrade when angry , how does that look to your slave. After all when you first met you painted a picture of total bliss, an island of peace, a paradise.

Some Slaves want to be broking , taken down to the lowest level of life and brought back up. I can tell you 10 years ago I may have been up to such a task but today nah not a chance. Before I met Arianna I was posed that question. I want you to break me. That is a great deal of responsibility  and I was not up to the task nor did I want to.

So when I hear the words I cannot control my slave or she is not compliant, I start asking questions, I get the same old answers, she is not real, she is just into head games , she is a joke to the lifestyle. Well it is not the slaves fault.

You the Dominants needs to be in control from the minute you speak your first words. You the Dominant sets the pace, you set the rules.

You cannot meet a slave on the first date and give her the almighty 128 rules and a collar. I see some old Doms using the 128 rules that some kid wrote 25 years ago, You must worship my cock, PLEASE.

Let me tell you something Arianna has 25 rules, she adds little things to her list frequently not rules but task. Every night when she ask permission to enter the bed she reads her rules then we talk, we talk about anything and everything. Last night was different we were laying in bed and I asked her what was on her mind. She said I thought we would go over the rules together, I looked kinda of confused and she handed me her phone, that is where her rules are. I said the first word of a rule and she was able to speak the whole rule without reading, and I just went down the line.

I have never told her she had to remember each one but to look at as a reference to read daily. That is how much she truly cares 25 rules recited almost word for word. Some of the rules are a paragraph long. In the rules I gave I explained everyone, I went into great detail about each rule, and she could recite each and everyone. I was in total shock, but I was proud.

If your Slave or Submissive is not compliant, look at your game.

Image I love this pic


A Slave Is Like Fine Wine

Posted in Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, communication, Conform, Dominants, Master, owning a slave, slave, submissive, Train your slave on November 9, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

It has been a very long road, most of my relationships have been long term, with the exception of a few bad grapes I have ran across. We all make mistakes. What is worse is we make mistakes knowing they are going to be mistakes, not worrying about the consequences, but you know what the out come is going to be. Sometimes we settle for less just because it fills that moment. Sometimes we need the companionship still knowing the out come.

I have met a few nuts that I really liked and I did my best to make it work knowing it was a lost cause. I knew in my mind the situation was a lost cause, but still gave 100% hoping I could fix something. Really deep down I knew. In the end I had only me to blame, it was no ones fault but mine, I knew in the end I would have to face the consequences.

You can fill a void for that moment and time, but the next morning you know, you really know how things are going to turn out, a week, a month, six months, the outcome will be the same.

We as humans get lonely by nature, we need that interaction, we need the company, we need the companionship, we need the closeness. At times we make mistakes just to fill those needs.

In the BDSM lifestyle it is a must to find the one who fits our needs, , being a Master and Slave means nothing if you have nothing in common, again your just filling that void if you settle for less. Our goal is to find the one. The one who fill fill that void, the one who will take that loneliness away.

Arianna and I went to the county Fair Thursday night she had to win a gold fish, so after work we went as we were parking we got out and I heard someone yell hey Vile Arianna turned around and it was Master Rob and his slave, as he walked up he said I knew it was Arianna by the shape of her ass. Anyway we walked together for a few , but this was Arianna’s night so we said our goodbys. Master Rob reached out to shake my hand gave me a hug and said it is good to see your doing so good Vile. Wow he really did see a difference in me. Master Rob had seen my ups and downs through out the last few years.

Well Arianna did sort of win a gold fish, she had to toss ping pong balls into a small glass bowl, yea not as easy as it looks, so we left with four of them.

We spend so much time men and women picking through all the bad grapes some are so sour you cant stand it, some are so rotten you dare not to eat, then some are just not mature enough. Finding the right grape is very important.

So you find the right grape and you nourish it feed it until it is ripe. Then you begin to mold, you train to fit your needs. You teach, you guide and you lead.  You communicate, talk become the best of friends, the bond is like no other, nothing can come between you.

The relationship is a circle that cannot be broken.



I Own You

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Arianna, Ass, bdsm,, communication, Conform, Dominants, fucking, Honesty, Kink, kinky, Master, molding your slave, relationships, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on October 14, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I suppose our relationship within the lifestyle is viewed much different. In the vanilla world, your my girl, your my girlfriend , my main squeeze.

In the lifestyle you are my Slave, you are my Submissive. You are my Property. I own you. You are an object for my pleasure, and yes you are my bitch.

We all have pet names for our property, and there is nothing wrong with that, unless you ever use any of those names out of anger. I cannot imagine raising my voice to Arianna, for one it would be a total lack of respect, two it would show who is really in control, three it would be abusive. I have said this before if your a Dominant and your going to stand toe to toe and argue with a Submissive or Slave you own, someone you have collard then you need to rethink your position within the lifestyle. We are suppose to be in control. Losing your temper shows weakness, a total lack of control.

A Daddy Dom was talking to me about a week ago telling me how much his Baby girl and him argued , screaming at each other, and he was looking at me like I was suppose to give advice. I was dumb founded because I could not relate to him, I could not even imagine what the two were going through. I just told him to move out.

Sex is on my terms and my terms only. I fuck when I want. It is not to say I do not enjoy pleasing because at times I do, but when it comes to sex most of the time it is about me. There is not a day that goes by, that I am asked can I suck your Dick, not a day.  That in its self makes me feel good knowing she really cares, knowing she just wants to please.

A M’s relationship can be very rewarding, if we do not take advantage of what we have, if we do not abuse what we have. If we Dominants keep our word the rewards are great. The rewards continue and always will.

You the Dominant, you lay the ground work, you lay out your rules, your guidelines and you still to them, because if you lead they will follow, and as long as you keep your word, and you never do anything to break their trust they will always follow.

You the Dominant cannot carry any baggage, you cannot bring any drama into your D’s or M;s relationship. You cannot let your Ex run your life. Yea I have seen that all that I have just mentioned. .

I have a very good friend who is a Submissive, with a Daddy Dom I guess. We kinda had a falling out because I always put him down when we talked, so I stopped, not because I had to mind you, but because I could tell she was getting defensive. He entered the relationship with Baggage and Drama,. Even On Fetlife he would not acknowledge they were together nor would he even add her as a friend because of what his Ex might say or do. Not that Fetlife even matters, I know people who have to put their status up, and mention every time it is changed. Why would you enter a relationship with all of this shit piled up on your shoulders, why would you want to drag someone else through your troubles, why would you want to make their live just as miserable as you are, and expect them to stick around.

Before you say those three words. I OWN YOU, make sure you have your shit together, there is nothing worse than a whining little bitch of a Dom. If you cannot control your own life, how in the fuck can you control someone else.

When Arianna and I attend local functions like a Munch or a Mast. MASTERS AND SLAVES TOGETHER. People are amazed at how our relationship is, they are amazed at how we function as a team. At the last MAST it was about Slavery in the Roman times, and after the opening, I was asked to speak to share my opinion. I do speak up a lot, and during a break I get hammered with questions, these are people who have been in the lifestyle for a long time.

How do you do it ? That is the question I always get, once I start to explain and it seems like it is to much work or effort they lose interest very fast.

The Dominant runs his house his Slave Follows, you set your house rules. Up until about a week or so ago Arianna was not even allowed on the fucking furniture. Now most of you probably do not understand, and I will explain some of it.

While in training you have to limit the slaves space within the home, designated area’s in which the Slave is permitted to sit. This is part of giving them that Slave feeling. This is where some of your control comes in. Maybe you feel bad your sitting at the table eating and your Slave is sitting on the floor eating, maybe some Slaves or Submissives will disagree with me, and I am okay with that. We all have different ways, we are all different. There are many different levels of submission. Each submissive or slave has different needs.

I have Blogged before and have told many new Dominants one of your best sources of training is from a site called Best Slave Training, there is a huge amount of information, you can follow what he writes, take in everything, or mix a little of your own.

A lot of awesome information , much of what is written I do agree with. I recommend this site to many new Dominants , submissive’s and slaves.

One thing I get asked about all the time is how do I do it ? My answer is always the same be true to yourself, and be who you are, and do not try to be someone you are not. Just like when you first meet someone new, most people are acting their best, yea putting up somewhat of a front. The bad thing is it does not take very long for the true colors to start coming out.

If your just looking for sex, and your just into the kink and getting pussy, be upfront about it. There is no need to lead someone on. If you get the pussy all is good, just don’t come running with the head games in the end you look stupid. If your just interested in getting some ass, say so. You never know she may let you hit it, honesty goes a long way. Be who you are, and be true to yourself, most of all keep your word.

Being a Dominant is no easy task it is a 24/7 365 gig, there are no days off, there are no time outs. If your just entering the lifestyle get the pussy out of your head, don’t get me wrong I love sex, just as much as the next. If your just in it for the ass you are missing out on so fucking much, the levels you are your partner can reach I cannot even describe.

My name is Vile I own my Slave. My Slave Happens to be my wife.  I am not even sure if I could begin to explain how our relationship work, but I would not trade places with anyone.

I am who I am, I do not bend or change who I am. Yes it is my way and only my way. This does not mean I do not value what Arianna has to say because I do. I will be the first to admit I do not have all the answers, far from it. I will be the first to admit when I make a mistake, and yes I have even apologized, not to many times but I have.

I do have it made, life is good, and I try and share my experience so others can have the same. It does not matter if you are a D’s couple or an M’s couple.

I can tell you this it is hard enough to find a good woman, what is really hard is finding a good submissive and slave. No one wants to end up alone. Just be true, be who your are, and stay honest. That is all you have to do nothing more.

If a Dominant finds someone he is interested in, if he has been in the lifestyle for any length of time, he should be able to adapt. He should be able to step in and take control. It is not hard it really is not. You being someone your not that makes it hard, that brings on your problems, that bring on the drama. It is so wrong to drag someone through your mud.

The one thing I fucking hate is when I hear a Dom tell me, well maybe I am not the one for her. The one thing I hear most of the time is I cannot control her. Well then you need to rethink your position within the lifestyle.



Being A Slave Is Hard Or Is It ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bond, Breaking Rules, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, dress, emotional, ethics, Fear, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, inhibitions, Lie, Lies, Master, men begging, Molding, molding your slave, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, oral, oral sex, Patience, Private Protocol, problems, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE on September 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who wake with an unknown feeling, a feeling of not being complete, they are not sure where these feelings arrived from or where their thoughts came from. They begin to do a lot of research in hopes of finding answers. Then they stumble across a BDSM site or erotic stories, and things become more clearer.

Then the search Dominant after Dominant until they find the right fit , the right connection, or after being played a couple of times.

I would imagine that giving up 100% of freedom could be a scary thought. Being told what to do, how to act, how to dress, how to speak, what to eat or cook, when to bath, when to go to bed, and then being punished for breaking a rule.

To go from your boyfriend begging for sex or begging to get his dick sucked, to someone just telling you to spread, or get on your knees. Maybe anal sex was off limits now there is no choice, you do it because your now owned.

These are big changes, these are huge changes.  These are changes you never would of even thought off until a year ago, or maybe they have been thoughts for a long time but you had no idea on how to put things into place.

It is not that the changes are difficult, scary yes difficult no. It is how you are brought through these changes, what actions are taking to get you to the point of where you need to be. I can tell you it is probably harder if not almost impossible if you know you are not truly cared for. Eh it works for a short period of time, but when reality hits you and you discover this dude is a piece of shit, you pack up move on and begin your search again, and maybe again, and again until you get it right.

Two key words come to mind, resistance and consistency. Almost every Slave will put some or a lot of resistance when it comes to submitting. It is not that they do not want to, they are scared and they have every right to be.

Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

I have seen this time and time again, when it happens it is always the Bitches fault, yea she was a bad submissive, or a bad slave she would not listen or follow rules. Just listen to that last statement. Who’s fault is that now? The blame always goes on the Bitch. No it could never be me I am the almighty Master. It was not long ago I told a Dom he was a piece of shit and he should rethink his place within the lifestyle. We had a couple over for dinner not long ago when they left I told Arianna what the out come of their relationship would be, sure enough they are no longer together.

Be it a Submissive or Slave, we have to be able to get into their heads, we have to know what makes them think, their thought process, and I can tell you if your not true or you do not care it will not happen. Just look at the time you have wasted just because you wanted some pussy.

Resistance equals consistent one giving equals one caring, you cannot just take or demand. You as the Dominant has to earn every step you take. Respect you have to earn it is not something we can demand.

Most who are submissive or a slave are on some type of medication, why is this? I do not have a fucking clue, most who are a Submissive or Slave suffers some type of depression maybe Bi-Polar? Why is this again I do not have a fucking clue.  So we as Dominants cannot just step in balls to the wall, we have to put a plan together because we do not want to bring any harm to ours. Yea okay I look over some things nothing major but I do not just sit around hoping Arianna will break a rule, as a matter of fact she will do everything in her power not to break a rule. I set that Ass on fire one time and that is all it took.

We can never figure out why someone is depressed if you try your just wasting time. So instead we work with them, we try to somewhat understand but we will never fully. Go to doctors appointments with them study their medication. Most of all we do not want to push them over the cliff. I had a counselor tell me not long ago that she agreed with our lifestyle, and the way our home was ran was beneficial  to Arianna, and almost a year it has worked well, we have had a few ups and downs but more ups I can assure you.

Starting a new relationship the Submissive / Slave has a wall in place. What we have to do is take it down one brick at a time, while this is on going we are still hitting this resistance button , the reason that button is still there is the lack of trust. While most would like trust is not built over night. So again the same words, Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

If you cannot control your Submissive or Slave Don’t put the blame on them, it was not them who failed it was us who failed them. We gave them false statements, we led them to believe something that was not true.

If you fail at communication, it is pretty much over. Most of the time a Slave will not volunteer and information, so we have to be willing to spend the time to communicate, if you really care this comes natural. Set aside 15 minutes a day so you can just sit and talk. Hold conversation over dinner, while driving. Communication is the main key, if your going to wait for them to spill their guts guess what? It will never happen.

There has to be an astronomical amount of fear when a Slave enters a relationship, they have no idea what to expect, more so if it is their first relationship. That is why you need a plan , and you need a back up plan, and another back up plan.

I was lucky when I met Arianna the resistance level was almost zero, even so I knew I had to stay consistent. The first ninety days is the tell , tell of everything. It will tell the slave if they are truly a slave and it will tell the slave if the Dominant is real.

Asking to sit at the Dinner table, not taking a bite of food before I do. Kneeling at the door when I return from work. anticipating my needs, kneeling in the bathroom while I shower, it goes on and on, but again the key word is consistency.

Rules some just fucking kill me, Rule one you must worship my cock. Rule 2 you must masturbate every night before bed while we are talking on the phone. Rule 3 you must send me nude pics everyday. Rule 4 you will never wear panties in my presence. You have seen and heard these rules. Rules are meant to be beneficial to a slave. We take old habits and make new positive ones. Yea some do call it training I have before, I like the word molding. We are molding someone to fit our needs, or training. We are taking someones life and turning it inside out. We are taking someone who once had a resistance factor and taking the word NO or i cant out of their vocabulary. Again this all comes with being consistent and in control.

The bottom line is, if we remain who we say we are, if we prove who we say we are, if we put ours first no matter what, if we take care of ours, if we do not abuse with a bunch of worthless rules, if we remain true and yes consistent then there is only resistance for a short time.

The Slave already knows who and what they are, they already know who they want to be, we just have to take one brick down at a time, brush our hands off and take their hand and walk with them.

We as a Master are expected to live by certain standards we have a creed we must follow, we must always be truthful when speaking. We must earn what we get.

The rewards for both are just amazing, it can be the most loving relationship you have ever known. The Master will want for nothing at all. The out come is what you make of it.