Archive for the Breaking a Slave Category

My Story The Breaking Of Sabrina. Breaking A Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Breaking a Slave, commitment, communication, control, controlling, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Master, Master And Slave, owning a slave, Pain, relationships, sex slaves, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive blank canvas, Young Dominant with tags , , , , , , , on September 29, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

In the past just in general conversation, I have had Dominants who were friends of mine who had spoken of wanting to break a slave.
Why do you want to break a slave? Because I want to, I want that control.

The truth is you can have that control, and probably more control without Breaking a Slave.

Although The Breaking Of Sabrina had some fiction in it, some of it was real, and things like I spoke about do happen on a daily basis.

There was a Dominant who came to a munch a couple of years ago, who said he ran a Slave camp in Ocala Florida, after talking for a while I was invited, but I declined.

That is not the way I roll, and if I see nothing I know nothing.

Even today I would not want to take on such a task, nor would I want that kind of responsibility

The Breaking Of Sabrina is about a man who wanted something he knew nothing about. He thought he wanted what Vile had, but once he had it he did not know what to do with her, and in the end she left her husband, and Sabrina and Vile are still together, in the book anyway.

There are two ways to Break a Slave, consensual , and non-consensual.
I have seen the consensual side of Breaking, by a Dominant I know who lives local here, and through the weeks I clearly saw the transformation the slave went through. I suppose being willing to be broken play a Hugh part in the process, but I also suppose being with a Dominant you care about and want to stay but putting up a resistance would make things more difficult. It would depend on how far you want to go, and how much your willing to give up.

Breaking a slave does not have to be physical, although I am sure that is what some of the steps that are taking during the process.

Breaking one would be more of a mental thing, and the unknowing. Getting inside your head and playing with your brain like putty.

I had mentioned before about a Slave camp here where I live, does it really exist ? I am not really sure, it may because I would not of been invited to something that was not real.

One does not have to be extreme in order to be abusive, even minor abuse to me is extreme.

To Break a slave means you have to bring them back up. More importantly you must have the ability to bring the slave back up, and the want as well as the dedication.

Although I could, that is not again a responsibility or task I would even think of taking on.

If you are thinking about taking on such a task, you the Dominant needs to insure you are in the relationship for the long haul. Anything short lived could have bad effects on the slave, and may have trouble even functioning , or you could even cause a severe breakdown.

You have to think, why would you need to try and break someone’s will? What are you going to get out of it ? What do you plan on accomplishing ? What is the slave going to get out of this type of training ?

Before you begin your training, you should already know what steps you are going to take.

The one advantage you have over your slave or submissive, while your training, they will be spending much of their time trying to figure you out. Trying to figure out the Dominant is not a shirt term task either, so it is very important the Dominant keeps changing things up.

Breaking someone’s will can take less than 48 hours, up to about 6 weeks. Do you really want to spend that much time? If you do not live together it will be impossible to reach that point. Breaking someone is not something you can do on the weekends.

Also there should be no physical abuse, that will just blow up in your face. There should be no abuse at all.
Breaking a slave is Mental, it is getting deep in their mind.

Humiliation will play a huge part in this type of training. Everyone’s definition of humiliation is different, so the Dominant will have to explore, and see which avenue he will want to take..

The Training of a Slave is a form of breaking. It is actually a form of mind modification, you are reprogrammed. You are now told how to do task you did on a daily basis, but now you are being shown a different way. You must adapt to your surroundings.
What most do not understand is the training really never ends, because the Master is making sure everything stays in check.
I myself may add something or take away something, the last thing I want to do is cause an overload.

The breaking of a slave can be said the Master is causing a complete breakdown, and starting with a blank canvas. It can also get to a point where they slave cannot even think for their selves any longer.

The story The Breaking of Sabrina was about a greedy man who wanted something someone else had, but once he got it, he did not know what to do or how to handle. Yea not having instructions can be bad.

You cannot beat someone into submission, you can however beat someone into fear, and fear is all you have, with fear there is no relationship you have a puppet who is scared of you.

This is where the trust factor comes into play. It has to be a Dominant that you know and you are willing to just turn your life over to.
If you think about it that is a huge decision and one that should be giving a lot of thought.

As I stated it would have to be something the Dominant would be able to devote a lot of time.

Everyone’s definition of Breaking a slave will be different, but I am a firm believer it can be done and should be done without pain.

Humiliation will play a huge roll in the breaking as well as sex, and just being used. Maybe not being allowed to go to the bathroom, not being able to eat, and being talked to in a very humiliating way.
If you are willing with no resistance the time frame would be much shorter than if you did put up any resistance.

Arianna went through a Breaking in process, I would of never taking her down as I have stated above.

The other thing that should be considered is their mental well being, and the medications they are on. You could really hurt someone, if you are not experienced.

I have seen the process, I have seen it in person and I have seen the outcome as well, and in that case it turned out okay.
She did however become fully dependent upon the master.
He then was in his mid 60’s and she had not turned 30, so you have to look at the whole picture. What if something happens to him?

Something I have tried to explain not only to the younger Doms who are in the learning process, but older Doms who are new as well.
While the learning process is not easy, it can be very rewarding.
Then about two weeks into the lifestyle they know everything, and any advice is shunned. When their relationships are not working they want to put all the blame on the slave or submissive.

I find it very funny because even after 20 years or so I am still learning everyday. Everyday is a new day, and we should continue to grow.
Many times however some will let their egos get in the way.
I am in the Dominant in the relationship and I know what I am doing.
I am the Dominant you have no right to question me. I am in charge and you will listen. If you would do what you were told we would not be having these problems.
It just goes on and on.

These are the same Dominants who are not welcome with in the community. These are the same Dominants , that meet those slaves and subs who have been in the lifestyle for sometime, and they will have nothing to do with them….

While they will say it is not their fault, it is indeed they are just to blind to see, what they are doing wrong.

I learned sometime ago there comes a time you have to be humble, you also have to be willing you made a mistake. You have to have a level of respect.
Today there are older Dominants I will address as Sir out of respect.

You have to ask the Dominant what his goals are, what are his intentions, what does he plan to get out of the relationship?
There are so many things we tend to look over because you are in the excitement mode and your mind is going a 100 miles an hour.

Just like my story The Breaking Of Sabrina , he did not know what to do with her once he had her.

I have a much longer version coming out soon, and Sabrina will be helping with the training..

If your going to Break a slave or Submissive, make sure you have the time to dedicate, your willing to be in for the long haul, and you have the right tools and resources available to you..



Check Out My New Short Story. The Breaking Of Sabrina.

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, masochist, Master And Slave, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Slave Trainer, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , on July 22, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a very short story, it is the first of three more books.
The second one will continue with Sabrina and a few more girls and it will be much longer.
You will get to see what my thoughts are when it comes to breaking a Slave who is unwilling

Smashwords (for all but Kindle users):


Coming soon to B&N, iBooks, KOBO and other retailers


Yes that is My beautiful wife and slave Arianna.

Much Love


Breaking In A Slave Or Breaking A Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, fucking, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, masochist, Master, Master And Slave, non-consensual, Patience, Protocol, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sex, sex slaves, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, sucking dick, The slave must adapt on July 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

There is clearly two different meanings but both can have the same outcome.

Just did a short story, The Breaking Of Sabrina. A woman who was broken at her husbands request. He lost and the Master won. That is something else we need to look at as well, choices and consequences, after all that is what life is about right ?

Breaking in a Slave is a term that is used once you start the training process, and as with breaking some humiliation is used during this process. The humiliation depends on how stable the Slave is mentally, and that is just one factor that comes into play.

Once you begin your search for a Slave not a Submissive, but a Slave you should have a clear picture of how you see your everyday life. You should already know what your intentions are, and what you expect the outcome to be.

To a novice Master who really has no experience, will really have a difficult time, mainly because he does not have a clue. Although there is a ton of Material out here , what works for one will not work for someone else. If the Master has a lot of drama or problems, the training will not be effective. Most associate a slave as just being sexual but that is so far from the truth, although there are just sex slaves who are just used for pleasure and nothing more.

Humiliation puts the slave in that mindset, you also have to point out you are not equal to them. It sounds worse than it really is, this is a mindset you are trying to achieve. To be a slave you have to feel like a slave.

First however the Slave must be willing , second and the most important factor the Master must be real and serious.

I actually sat down and thought about how my daily life would be if I had a slave living with me 24/7. Everything on my terms including sex. Sex is about me. Sex is about my needs being met, my wants.

I have changed Arianna life she has made a 360 degree turn. Today she does not see how she has changed, she does not see her submission, mainly because she lives it everyday.

She does not hear the words Master flowing from her mouth, or asking permission to use the bathroom, or to enter the bed. She does not see any of this, because not it comes natural.

That is when you know you as a Master Has reached your goal. You have created you own masterpiece. You have created something very special.

The bond is like no other, somehow it is stronger than love although your in love , it is a much different feeling, really hard to explain.

So from time to time you have to make slight changes, mainly because of the way Arianna feels about her submission.

Even the slightest change can make a huge difference, maybe in just a word someone uses, or the way they sit, the slightest change makes a huge, huge difference.

Breaking A Slave

This can be done willingly or not. I see it as a total breakdown of someones will, you change their whole thought process, and it could get to the point to where they cannot even think for their selves.

When someone ask you to break them, you need to find out what their reasons are, what do they hope to gain out of being broken?
In a short term relationship being broken could have severe effects, and the outcome could be harmful, or being incomplete in the process, meaning the Master is not their to bring back up.

So you take a Blank canvas , you strip the slave of everything, clothes, makeup, the ability to shave, they eat what you put in front of them.

You control their speech, their posture, how they dress, where they can sit, what if anything they wear.
This needs to be done on a daily basis, house rules are put in place. You limit where they can be in the house, when they can use the bathroom, shower, TV.
What you do, is allow family time, to speak on the phone, for 10 to 15 minutes, in front of you, checking emails in front of you. Not being allowed to close the bathroom door, you take away any privacy they want or need.

You use on a regular basis, showing no compassion or love. Be it just sucking your dick or crawling on top dumping your load and getting off walking out of the room leaving her there. That in its self is a form of humiliation, You have to use on a daily basis, without asking or explaining what your going to do. You want to keep their mind wondering. Trust me it works.

More sever would be extreme humiliation, physical beatings, calling names, such as whore, and slut, your worthless, who in the fuck would want you, you get the idea..

So I suppose in a way Arianna was broken, and here we are today, her feelings grow everyday, her submission continues to grow. She has a need to please.
I did just what I explained above leaving out the extreme. I keep a very tight leash on Arianna, I know where she is 24/7. She even had me install a tracker on her phone. I can pick up my phone and locate her within 50 feet.



The Breaking Of Sabrina , An Awesome Book Review

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, slave, Submission, Thekinkyworldofvile with tags on July 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay the book could of been longer, it was originally meant as a short story just for my blog.

Sometime ago I met a Slave and she asked me to break her. I declined , mainly because I did not want that kind of responsibility, and I had no feelings towards her, nor did I see us entering a relationship.

There is a huge Difference in a D’s relationship and an M’s relationship.
I am still not sure where the Daddy and the Baby Girl fits in even thought I was part of that lifestyle in the past. At that point I had no idea where I fit in.

Franco Bolli’s Reviews > The Breaking of Sabrina
The Breaking of Sabrina by Vile
Rate this book
1 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars
The Breaking of Sabrina
by Vile, Lea Barrymire (Goodreads Author)
Franco Bolli’s review
Jul 15, 14

4 of 5 stars
bookshelves: adult, bdsm
Read in July, 2014

I liked this short story because it was very well told, hot and very erotic. Yet I found it way too short. After turning the last page I had the impression this could have been longer and more deepened out as it offers a least a myriad of story lines.

Much to his credit Vile is an advocate against any type of abuse. Therefore at the end of this eBook an international list of helplines is provided. An initiative I can only applaud.

Also I would like to mention Vile’s blog. is worth your visit and your time.

I am looking forward to more of Vile’s writings.


My Short Story Is Out. The Breaking Of Sabrina

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, control, controlling, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods,,, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, masochist, Master And Slave, non-consensual, Owned Slave, owning a slave, Pain Slut, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Stockholm syndrome, Submission, submissive with tags , , on July 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

One Complaint, to short.

I have been in three TPE relationships over the past twenty something years TPE.
My first Slave Sherri , was a total masochist, and was into deep humiliation, and a total pain slut. The only time I ever seen her cry was the day I told her it was over.

In the beginning the relationship was a lot of fun, but as time went on it grew old, because it became more of a job.

I guess one reason was I never developed any real feelings for Sherri, and I cannot explain why, unless it was her three kids.

My second was Bea who I truly thought I was in love, but I now realize I was not. I cared for Bea but I now know it was not Love..

I know this now because my now wife and Slave, I am deeply in love and I truly cherish her. I hate being away from from her on a daily basis but I know it is only a short time.

The thing I want to point out is each Slave was different, each had a different personality, but most important each had different needs.
So the way each was handled was different, the same rules, or protocols would not of worked for either.

You have to be able to open ones mind so to speak and take a walk around in their brain.

Sherri was not hard because I was told what and how to do something . I understand more today than I did then.

Bea was a little more of a struggle. Once I knew her, then I had to figure out how she thought, what made her tick, what made her want to cut herself, once I was able to communicate with her on her level and the more I understood her, the less of cutting there was until it stopped all together.

Arianna was a task in the beginning , it was not until I had access to her journals did I grow to have a clear understanding of what made her tick..

So each and everyone of us is different, every Dominant, and Master, every Submissive and Slave. It is finding the one who fits your needs.
If you rush without really looking at the whole picture you could fall prey.

Which now brings me to my short story, being a sadist at one time, I was able to clear my mind and take a walk. I actually viewed myself in the book, the only difference is I would of never trained Sabrina for someone else she would of been for my own use.

Which Brings us to The Subject of Stockholm Syndrome. A human can be broke in as little as 48 hours under the right conditions.
Now everyone who is taken captive does not suffer from Stockholm. Some are stronger than others.
In the case one does, it is because they develop feelings for their capture, they develop feelings for the one who is abusing them, I know its weird. No one really knows what sets that timer off.

I saw myself, how would I break someone if I was going to take that type of path. Starting out with pure fear, and humiliation, then moving to a more caring individual. Those steps I believe may have to be repeated it would depend on who you were trying to break….

So here is the link it is a very short story, but at the end you should see the purpose of the book..

There is one more coming out sometime in November I do believe, it will be much longer, and it will be Non-Fiction. It will be about the life of a master and slave, and the safety steps you should take when looking for a relationship.

Much love to everyone who has stopped by over the last two years.
As always feel free to drop me an email

Smashwords (for all but Kindle users):


Coming soon to B&N, iBooks, KOBO and other retailersbreak

I want to thank Arianna for giving us such a great cover. Lea Barrymire did finish it up for us…

If you do make a purchase please leave a review, good or bad, but keep an open mind when reading it.


My First Book Will Be Released In About 48 hours. The Breaking Of Sabrina

Posted in abuse, Arianna, Breaking a Slave, human trafficking, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , on July 11, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Although The Breaking Of Sabrina is fiction , this type of activity does take place and often.
Something I never have understood, is why a Slave would want to be broken, or a Master would want that much responsibility on his shoulders..

The breaking of a slave can be consensual or non-consensual , I would assume it may start out consensual, but move to the later very fast.

I was asked to write a fiction on breaking a Slave, so I thought about how I would proceed if I was going to do such a thing. How long it would take, and what steps I would take.

The Stockholm Syndrome is alive and well. A human can be broke in as little as 48 hours under the right conditions, and it could take as long as 90 days. I would suppose how strong willed the individual was.

To break a slave , you would actually take them to the lowest level of life possible, total degradation, total humiliation , and you would remain consistent for what ever period of time it took to get the results you needed.
You would physically use , in a sexual sense that is. You would use every hole, just total humiliation..

You could even reach a point , where you could take someone outside with you, shopping and so on.

In the past I have been asked by a slave to break her. First although I probably could, I am not wired like that, nor would I want the responsibility of bringing the slave back up, if you were even able to.

The breaking of a slave also falls under human trafficking each year thousands of people are sold into slavery, and the numbers are increasing every year. In some cases a slave can be bought for as little as 300 us dollar. I am sure the breaking starts way before one is sold.

Human Trafficking is not only for work, but most are sold as sex slaves, and used for prostitutes. Very few are lucky enough to ever see freedom again.

I myself am against any type of abuse, if it is non consensual it is abuse. We do not see the lasting effects of abuse, or maybe we do see the effects once a name hits the paper.

USA Helplines:
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project (LGBTQ Suicide): 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
National Sexually Transmitted Disease Hotline: 800-227-8922
Al-Ateen: 800-352-9996
Alcohol Abuse and Crisis Intervention: 800-234-0246
Alcohol and Drug Abuse Helpline and Treatment: 800-234-0420
Alcohol Hotline Support & Information: 800-331-2900
Nation Coalition for Sexual Freedom’s “Kink Aware Professionals” list, for finding therapists/psychiatrists that won’t freak out at the word “BDSM”:……

UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail:
Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463
b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail:
b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm – 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail:
Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
Drinkline: 0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 – 2.30pm 7 – 9.30pm) e-mail
Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

Free and available 24/7
suicide hotlines:
Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
Australia: 13-11-14
Austria: 01-713-3374
Barbados: 429-9999
Belgium: 106
Botswana: 391-1270
Brazil: 21-233-9191
Canada: 1-800-448-3000
Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868
China: 852-2382-0000
(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
Croatia: 01-4833-888
Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
Denmark: 70-201-201
Egypt: 762-1602
Estonia: 6-558-088
Finland: 040-5032199
France: 01-45-39-4000
Germany: 0800-181-0721
Greece: 1018
Guatemala: 502-234-1239
Holland: 0900-0767
Honduras: 504-237-3623
Hungary: 06-80-820-111
Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
Israel: 09-8892333
Italy: 06-705-4444
Japan: 3-5286-9090
Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
Malaysia: 03-756-8144
(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
Mexico: 525-510-2550
Netherlands: 0900-0767
New Zealand: 4-473-9739
New Guinea: 675-326-0011
Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
Norway: 47-815-33-300
Philippines: 02-896-9191
Poland: 52-70-000
Portugal: 239-72-10-10
Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
Spain: 91-459-00-50
South Africa: 0861-322-322
South Korea: 2-715-8600
Sweden: 031-711-2400
Switzerland: 143
Taiwan: 0800-788-995
Thailand: 02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
Ukraine: 0487-327715


Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Advice, anal sex, and Respect, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, Change, codependent, Collar, Collared Slave, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominants, Drama, emotional, Emotions, Fake Slaves, Fake submissive, fucking, Honesty, Humiliation, Kink, kinky, Master, needy, problems, punish, Punishment, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, sucking cock, sucking dick, Train your slave, training your slave, Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant on December 6, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This happens all the time, I also here this all the time. The last was maybe I am not the Master for her or she needs more and I cannot give more.

Every Submissive is different , every Slave is different. Their minds, their thoughts , their needs, their actions. Each has a different level of needs. Some are real emotional , some are very needy, some become fully dependent on their Master, while others function very well outside of the home. Some need 24 hour care while some do not. Some need stricter rules, guidelines, protocols, while others do not.

Some act bratty , while most are very docile. Most are very quite and some are very out spoken.  Most are very Compliant , while some need a little more work.

Men who do not have a clue think owning a slave is about her sucking cock or just spreading her legs. Tying the slave up and just beating her ass until she cannot walk, and to a new submissive or slave these actions are exceptable. no questions asked until they start talking to other slave.

The key is getting to know the slave, knowing them as a person not just in the lifestyle. Knowing about their interest, hobby’s, the movies they enjoy, music. The foods they like. The Dominant should know the slave inside out.

Once this is achieved then you move on to different levels speaking about the lifestyle, a week or maybe more may of gone by before you should get into the kinks.

Let me tell you something, if you meet someone on line and after 20 minutes or so it turns to sex, he wants one thing and one thing only. That is your mouth or what is between your legs, and nothing more. The New Dom may hang on to you for eh 3 months 6 months but he will grow tired of you pretty fast. You will find out you will spend 90% of your time on your knees sucking dick, another 5% texting, and the other 5% being ignored

When another Dominant complains about how his slave is not compliant I just shake my head. If this is the case his game plan was way off from the start.

What rules you gave your last slave may not be the rules your new slave needs, or guideline as well as protocols. That is why it is very important to get to know your slave as a person , you have to become best friends. Because you are about to enter uncharted waters.

We as Dominants are looked up to, we are suppose to be leaders, we guide we share tons of information, but most we have to earn and gain the trust of the slave. We as Dominants should be able to adapt to most situations. Sometimes we may have to bend a little if we think a slave may be compatible in most areas that interest us.

The Slave will adapt to their new home, and most will adapt freely without question. We need to only provide a few things. Honesty , be truthful, teach and train , communication, and security. The slave will adapt.

Rules are put into place for improvement, rules are for the betterment of the slave. If more than half of your rules as a slave are about sex, what is it you are getting out of it ? How is you must worship my cock for the betterment of you ?

It is not that the slave is not compliant, the Dominant did not go into the relations with the right game plan, by the time you start to argue, yell call each other names it is way to late. You the Dominant has lost the game, pick up your duffel bag and move on.

You also hear it is the slaves fault , that bitch would not listen, I had no control over her. Ha that one word CONTROL I had no control over her. Now whose fault is that, certainly not the slaves, who was in charge? Who was the leader the Slave?

Another factor is if a slave enters a new relationship but she is afraid to end it, she will do things just to upset the dom, not follow rules back talk, act up, until the Dom has taken all he can. Still the slave is not to blame. I do suppose some could be just total bitches and give you a run for your money, push your buttons to see how far they can go. It is still up to the Dominant to remain in control, and stay in control.

If you have a bad temper, you scream, yell degrade when angry , how does that look to your slave. After all when you first met you painted a picture of total bliss, an island of peace, a paradise.

Some Slaves want to be broking , taken down to the lowest level of life and brought back up. I can tell you 10 years ago I may have been up to such a task but today nah not a chance. Before I met Arianna I was posed that question. I want you to break me. That is a great deal of responsibility  and I was not up to the task nor did I want to.

So when I hear the words I cannot control my slave or she is not compliant, I start asking questions, I get the same old answers, she is not real, she is just into head games , she is a joke to the lifestyle. Well it is not the slaves fault.

You the Dominants needs to be in control from the minute you speak your first words. You the Dominant sets the pace, you set the rules.

You cannot meet a slave on the first date and give her the almighty 128 rules and a collar. I see some old Doms using the 128 rules that some kid wrote 25 years ago, You must worship my cock, PLEASE.

Let me tell you something Arianna has 25 rules, she adds little things to her list frequently not rules but task. Every night when she ask permission to enter the bed she reads her rules then we talk, we talk about anything and everything. Last night was different we were laying in bed and I asked her what was on her mind. She said I thought we would go over the rules together, I looked kinda of confused and she handed me her phone, that is where her rules are. I said the first word of a rule and she was able to speak the whole rule without reading, and I just went down the line.

I have never told her she had to remember each one but to look at as a reference to read daily. That is how much she truly cares 25 rules recited almost word for word. Some of the rules are a paragraph long. In the rules I gave I explained everyone, I went into great detail about each rule, and she could recite each and everyone. I was in total shock, but I was proud.

If your Slave or Submissive is not compliant, look at your game.

Image I love this pic


Aftercare And Being Proactive

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, Aftercare, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Breaking a Slave, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Depressed, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, erotic, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, No Inhibitions, Pain, Patience, pleasure, proactive aftercare, provocative, punish, relationships, Respect, Safe, session, slave, Spanking, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive on September 13, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Aftercare BDSM

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to one another after intense feelings of a physical or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities.

BDSM experiences can be exhausting; and drain the participants of mental, emotional or physical energy. As a result, one or all participants may require emotional support, comfort, reassurance, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he or she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatization. Aftercare also may include a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the dominant and the submissive.

Some participants may wish to be left alone or have other means of processing the experience. While the desire to be left alone could stem from just needing rest, it could also result from no longer feeling safe in the current environment or situation.

Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners. Occasionally, more “vanilla” sexual activities such as intercourse or oral sex following an intense scene may also be considered as part of aftercare.

It is often thought in a submission/dominant relationship, only the submissive requires aftercare following BDSM activities. However, a dominant may require less, just as much, or more aftercare depending on the scene, person, experience level, and other factors. The role of submissive or dominant is unrelated to the amount of aftercare someone needs and should not be thought of as a metric in this regard.

In long distance relationships, a potentially useful practice when engaged in remote BDSM activities is to facilitate aftercare by the exchange of emotionally significant items which can be clung to for reassurance, though success of this depends on both parties’ level of emotional investment in the relationship.

If you sat down and wrote a list about your needs while in a M’s or D’s relationship Aftercare should be the first at number one, not two or three or five or six, number one. Here in a few I will explain my proactive aftercare.

You start playing or maybe you call it a session, maybe your submissive or slave is into hard impact play. Maybe you the Dom enjoys getting rough, but the submissive is really not into the rough play but goes along with to please. If your anything like me my play time can last for an hour or more.

During this time the sub is giving all they have, physically , and mentally, as well as emotionally. We take what is giving and then more. We want satisfaction out of our play time. Sometimes we go as far as pushing limits, just to see how far we can take our property. If we have pushed or maxed a limit we the Dominant gains a high, a rush, the adrenaline starts to flow. I have gotten so excited I have had to take a break so I could gather my thoughts, catch my breath, and the submissive is just laying there waiting not knowing what is on the Dominants mind, or how much longer the session is going to go on for.

After play this is when the first of aftercare kicks in, communication should be the first, asking and digging for questions. We want to know where they are at right now, what their thoughts are, how they are feeling. Talk about any limits that were pushed.  This is very important, we need to know if we pushed to far, what if the submissive did not like something it should be talked about, maybe there is another avenue we can take to make that part of the session different.  Many will play and give even if they are getting nothing out of it, this is done just to please.

Now on the other side at times we ignore aftercare, let me explain. I have met those who are submissive and Slaves who wanted to be broken. I have been asked a couple of times, but I have declined both times. First of all I did not want that type of responsibility. I did not want to be responsible for bring them down and then bringing back up. I am not sure why someone would need such a thing, but we all have our needs, Breaking someone is just not my thing. Breaking a Slave takes time, I have seen it done and it is not pretty, nor did I take part. To each their own we all have different needs within the lifestyle, so I do not judge anyone for their actions. The breaking of a Slave should only be considered if the two are entering a long term relationship, and the Slave must be sure of this. If it is just short term the after effects could be devastating.

We should hold while in the aftercare mode, we should praise, speak very highly of. We should cover every part of the scene, being sure to not miss anything. Okay I am guilty of not going into the full aftercare mode at times, but when it does come to aftercare I am proactive.

Constant praise on a daily basis. Many spend way to much time waiting on theirs to break a rule, or make a mistake, so they can correct or punish. Many Doms get off on just punishing. Degrading, humiliation. More so the new ones who have entered the lifestyle. Reading books, or looking at pictures, many for what ever reason cannot get past the pictures.

After a session or play we need to ask questions, we want to know where there thoughts are. What did they like? What did they not like? Do they want to try something different? We should hold and caress, make the two feel as one.

Proactive aftercare constant praising , when something is done comment about it.  The idea is to build up, make one feel confident. We want to build up their self esteem if needed and in most cases it is needed. This is what I mean by being proactive.

If aftercare is not performed sub drop occurs and despite what most think I do believe sub drop can be prevented with the practice of aftercare. Sub drop occurs mostly when the two do not live together, and the submissive is left alone. Getting together while in a long distance relationship every now and then, sub drop will happen.

The proper aftercare is very important we being different aftercare will vary from submissive to submissive. Some after play want to be left alone for a period of time, giving them time to gather their thoughts and feelings, while some do not want any aftercare at all. I do believe sub drop can be prevented despite what others think.

You the submissive if you feel this area is being neglected speak up, you have this right to insure you are being taking care of, you have the right to express your needs.

I am telling you from experience, if aftercare is giving and the proper amount, what use to be limits will soon start to fade away, what use to be inhibitions will soon begin to fade away. The more we as Dominants care and we show we care the more the submissive will want to give.

Aftercare is a must.



Breaking A Slave

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, Dominants, extreme, Fake Dominants, Humiliation, kinky, Master, Protocol, Protocol public, relationships, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Slavery, training your slave on August 20, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Well just maybe I am not as vile as I thought I was. Over the recent months post and articles have been popping up all over the place, even on fetlife, and other social site as well.

While in a D’s relationship Master and Submissive or slave. The Dominant goes through different forms of training. this can take anywhere from 6 months to a year, before the submissive or slave is able to fully adapt.

This can be from the way they speak, act in private and public, the way they walk, dress, even they way one eats. Different protocols. public and private. With all of this always comes positive reinforcement. After all we want ours to be the best they can be, no matter what there doing, be it home, work, or just out in public.

When the two first meet, they both lay out expectations, of what each are looking for, and want out of the relationship, Where they are now , where they want to be in six months, a year and so on. This is where the compatibility comes in, you truly see if your both fit for each other.

I myself love beautiful women, but beauty comes in many forms, that is why I do not base much on looks, personality is first and foremost, intelligences, the ability to listen, how she carry’s herself, many many things come to mind. I have found if a woman is drop dead gorgeous, she can have the personality of a three legged pit bull, and be the ugliest bitch on earth. So I never base anything on looks, but there has to be some physical attraction.

Last year I met a potential, slave. I picked her up early 7am. went to breakfast, then to Universal Studios. The house of blues, then a late night dinner, where our conversation got deep. As we were eating, I asked her what she was looking for. She replied I want you to break me. I sat there dumb founded for a minute , she repeated I WANT YOU TO BREAK ME..

Now most men or Dominants this would be a dream come true, here I have this slave who just wants me to break her down to the lowest level possible. I can do anything I want. Wrong.

With this comes a great deal of responsibility, I for one am not up to such a task, and I am certainty not going to fuck with someones well being., or be responsible for a possible break down…

So my response was I am not interested, I am not going to do it, don’t want to do it, and I do not know anyone that would, well yes I do. That is besides the point. I was not going to be responsible for her.

There is a huge difference in training a slave or submissive, verses breaking them, and having to spend who knows how much time in bringing them back up, if you can.

At that point I was a fake. I did not know what I was doing, I was not a true master. Okay I can live with that…. It goes much deeper though..

There are two separate meanings when it comes to breaking a slave. The first I’d like to cover is breaking IN a slave. In this meaning, training is meant to adjust the slave’s core attitudes and behaviors to be more in tune with the Master. Think about the things you typically break in; shoes, furniture, gloves, hats. All of these you’ve flexed and bent to fit into your mold and hold it’s shape, whether this be your feet, your behind or your head. The same goes for breaking in a slave. We all go through a molding process. It certainly seems that as slaves, we do pass a point where the major force of our resistance and self-defensive mechanisms, the shell, is broken, and we enter a state of pliancy and moldability for our owners.

The training we undergo is also a from of breaking in. You will be told what is expected of you, learn the right and wrong way to go about certain tasks and anything else that the Master wishes to enhance or downplay in your manner or behavior. It is not uncommon to always undergo training and also to have to retrain when a new relationship commences.

The idea of “breaking a slave” is the more extreme form of molding. I perceive it as a forced breakdown of someone’s own will, their own attitude and sometimes their own thought processes. What generally results is a blank canvas upon which the Master can apply behaviors, attitudes and reactions that would please them. In many broken slave cases I’ve read about; the submissive/slave doesn’t even remember how to think for themselves anymore. They have no dependence, they have no limits where they used to have limits and in very rare cases I’ve seen fear of the unknown where things once were known.

My impressions of breaking a slave is that it could have severe and harmful effects on the slave if done incorrectly or incompletely. I don’t think I’d agree to “be broken” by anyone that I didn’t trust implicitly not only with my safety but with the methods they employ to change me.

Now I’ve seen and read about submissives and slaves that consider themselves broken but I see them in a different view. They have willingly become powerfully subservient, brainwashed (for lack of a better word), and live solely for the rule of the Master of the house. I find these relationships challenging and hard yet beautiful and very moving. It’s like these people move as one person. I don’t believe that the process has hurt the persons involved.

I’m not sure what would be more work though… to break someone down to the blank slate just to rebuild them in whatever manner you choose, or to mold and bend someone from what they are to what you want them to be. Either way, in both cases, it needs to be consensual and negotiated.



The Different Dominants

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Safety, Beatings, Bond, Breaking a Slave, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Dominants, events, extreme, Fake Dominants, Health, Honesty, Humiliation, kinky, masochist, Master, Masters, Meeting, munchs, oral, oral sex, Pain, passion, pony play, Protocol, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, Sane, Scared, self confidence, sex, sex slaves, slave, Spanking, Stalker, submissive, sucking dick, TPE, training your slave, younger women, your own pet on November 26, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Everyone is different, we all have different needs. Subs and slaves have different needs. Some need strict discipline , some need more structure than others, some have the need for pain and humiliation, some have the need to be broken, and built back up. Some have very few to no limits, while others have a list a mile long.  Some want massive amounts of attention, while some are introverts and really has no need to be cuddled. The Daddy Dominants is big on after care, he needs this time just as his baby girl does.

What ever your kink is, there is a Dominant to fit your needs. In out lifestyle it can take a while to find the one. The one who fills all voids. Then there are some who will give a little, bend if he is truly interested in someone.

The number one sought after Dominant is the Daddy Dom. In most cases he is much older than his submissive. He is very loving, caring, and seems to be understanding. He wants his little girl to succeed in life. He is there to give loving guidance. He does most of the cooking as well. The two together love attention, always hand in hand. The Daddy Dom is based more on discipline and structure. He is more of an over the knee spanker, or corner time dominant. Some are not very strict at all. It is the loving, supportive, and understanding features the Baby Girl is after.

Next the the lowest of all Dominants The Fake Predator, the on your knees bitch. He is cool with words, he tells you just what you want to hear, he preys on your problems, your weakness’s. They fact that one is needy makes his strike more dangerous. He is in a rush to meet, He demands you wear a skirt, most of the time nothing under. He will insist on booking a room. He has to rent a room because he is married. He demands sex on the first meet, he has brought a small bag of toys or just uses his belt. He will want to collar you on the first meet. Give you rules that you know you are unable to follow. He will hurt you, not only in the physical , but mentally. He will degrade you, humiliate to make you feel worthless.He will never take you to BDSM events. He will insist you are all he needs. He will slowly cut you off from friends, and sometimes even family. I have seen it take up to a year before the sub or slave figures this out. 99% of the time he preys on someone new to the lifestyle.

Next is the Doctor Dominant, the fixer. His prey are weak subs, those who are covered in problems, they feel they have no where to run to. Then this knight in shinning armor shows up with open arms. This relationship is not about sex, although in the beginning sex is often, then it dwindles down to nothing. Once he feels he has fixed the challenge is gone, he will move on to his next challenge. Or if he cannot fix he will pace all the blame on the submissive.

The sadist. His pleasure is your pain, humiliation , degrading. He is always thinking of new ways to use you. He craves the pain and fear in your eyes. He cannot function properly during sex without inflicting some type of pain. He needs little attention, as a matter of fact he would rather put you in a closet until he is ready to use again. It seems he is unable to feel, unable to show any type of emotion, and unable to love. To a masochist this is her dream relationship. On the lighter side, he will take care of his, although he will push, he will not cause any permanent damage. You break your toy, you cannot play. Any limits are those giving to you by him. Again this just like any other is a consensual based relationship.

The Trainer. A dominant pet owner be it pony play, puppy, kitten. This is not in a lot of cases a sexual relationship, if it is it is not based on bestiality. Very strict but very loving he cares for his animals. This part of the lifestyle takes a lot of dedication, and patients.  I do not understand, but again to each their own.

I call the confused. The Switch Dominant. I never really got this type, owning a submissive being in control, but have the ability to submit to another. Most male Switches are Bi sexual. as well. Those I know and are friends are very good dominants, I just do not understand. I find it hard when a submissive or slave can watch her dominant submit to another, and still respect. To each their own I am not judging.

Mr Cocky , the Ego Dominant, purely Ego driven. He is the one you see in leather, with no shirt. The sub or slave responds to the snapping of fingers. He is verbally abusive in most cases and at time can be physical. He wants to know why it took you 30 minutes at the store when it should of only took 29 minutes. He is constantly putting other Dominants down, he is always right the other dominants have no idea what they are talking about. He is controlling not in control.If he has profiles on social sites his name begins with Master.

The in control dominant. He carry’s himself in a authoritative manner, while in control, he never brags about who or what he is. He is fair, but strict, he imposes rules and guidelines, high on protocol. He is very communicative, he shows he truly cares. He never gives more than one can handle. While he respects his property’s  limits, he will continue to push.He like the Daddy Dom needs attention, he wants to know he is loved and cared for. He will open up some, but as with any dominant we all have trouble with that. We view that as a weakness. A submissive or slave will use at one time or another, with out even realizing it. He ins very much in control. When he speaks you can hear, when he touches you can feel. he will insure your needs are met. He places his property in a number one status as the Daddy dom. He has most of the traits of all of the above, with the exception of the Fake Dominant. He is also big on after care, he truly cherishes what he has collard and calls his own.

BDSM is a positive based relationship, it should be one without any abuse, mental or physical. He should put you at number one without question. Take care of you when you are sick. He wants you healthy, after all if you are sick, no play for the owner.

The Submissive or Slaves are very special, strong. They have the need to give and please, and in most cases will do without question. They only have one true need in life. That is to be loved for who they are.

Like those who are still looking, even I we will find the one who fits like a glove, someone we can grow with.

Much Love