Archive for the Behavior Modification Category

As A Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, Consistency, Depression, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, fucking, Manipulation, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, submissive, on June 18, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is our responsibility to pick those up who have stumbled, those who are having a hard time coping , Those who are having a stressful position on life , those who are confused and feel they have no one to turn to.

Something that irks me , is to be at a public outing and the big bad Dom sits back and tells about his times and travels , what he has done, what he knows and the mile long experience he has, but when a submissive needs a helping hand they just turn their back and walk away.

You want the pussy but you do not want the responsibility , you want your dick sucked but you do not want the responsibility, you want to tie their ass up and beat them but you do not want the responsibility.

This does not pertain to all of course there are those who just enjoy fucking , but there are the few who are different , there are the few who suffer from depression. When you play with someone who has some sort of mental issue , you are doing nothing less that manipulating  them, your playing head games and once your front door closes your done your finished.

I was talking to someone the other day and he wanted to know hot to train someone , so in answering that each is different but I gave a few ideas and he stopped me midway and said it was to much work.  I explained that it could be a little work in the beginning but within 60 to 90 days everything would start to fall into place.

Training is no joke , as a matter of fact it is something close to rehabilitation , you are changing someones thought process, changing habits, the way someone dresses , talks and walks, of course this is a M’s relationship and at times it very well could be a D’s. Once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance , not weekly or bi-weekly it is daily.

You want the perfect relationship but your not willing to put the effort into building something that could be the most intense relationship you have ever had..

Karma is a bitch and it will bite you in your ass. Think twice before you ruin someones life. Unless your in for the long run leave the ones who are vulnerable   and need that guiding hand alone, unless your going to answer your phone at 3 am.

Playing with those who have emotional problems or suffer from depression does not make you a Dominant , it shows you are weak and you have no values, and if you think for one minute that you are not being talked about you are dead wrong..

So next time your sitting at at table at a munch and you introduce yourself as Master Dick , take a look around the room.


Training On Different Levels

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, Dominant and Submissive,,, Master And Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, TPE, Training Arianna with tags , , , , , , , on March 7, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was just reading a Blog By Master P.

The topic was BDSM Training-Methodology and Techniques
Before you start ranting I am not totally disagreeing with him but I find to have a different opinion one a few topics. is based one a Master , Slave relationship, it is based on a owner property relationship , it is based on a TPE relationship , Total Power Exchange. If you put these all together I control everything and while I do listen I have the final say.
Again I agree with Most of what Master P is talking about but we are talking about two different relationships. Dominant , submissive , Master And Slave and there by definition is a clear difference.
Behavior modification is changing ones way of thinking, in a good scenario this can be done willingly or forced that would be totally breaking someones will.
Although most training is done to fit the Masters needs there are other things we look at , changing bad habit into good ones.
I did train for service , I did so because I have protocols that I want followed when company is over. I have protocols for private and public, I have different stages of protocols and each one is used depending on the setting.
So I was just thinking about why men cheat be it vanilla , D’s and I do know Doms who cheat , hell Ive known Master who cheated.
So when finding a partner why not find someone you can train to make you complete.
I am in no way saying Master P is wrong with what he is saying it just proves that we are all different in the way we think , act, and train. Our train of thought is different , more so our needs.
Although a Master puts his slave first she is there to fit his needs and wants and the Master insures the Slaves needs are met on a daily basis.
When looking for a partner you should take your time and find someone you can connect with on every level in life. You should be able to communicate on every level and be able to speak freely and openly.
Training is something I take very serious and now I will only take on such a task if it is to be a long term. I also make it known it will be a slow process it is not something where I meet you on Monday and Tuesday we both jump head first..
Putting a plan together is needed before hand , what worked for the last slave will not work for the next.The same with rules although my protocols have never changed over the years if anything I have become more strict.
With the submissive , the submissive accepts and strives for submission a slave strives for Obedience.

Submission Vs Slave

Best Slave Training if your a new Dominant , or submissive , slave there is a ton of useful information. There is not one website or book you can base your relationship on but you can take bits and pieces and come up with a plan.
In my opinion, a submissive retains freedom of choice and a slave gives her freedom of choice to her Master. A submissive makes a choice to give her submission in a limited fashion, for a defined period of time and under certain conditions. A submissive can have a long-term relationship with a Master, but still retains certain controls. However, many are satisfied with casual role-play without any long-term goals. Training may or may not be involved between a Dominant and a submissive.
A submissive often has a list of conditions, rules, and limits that a Dominant is required to agree to before entering a session or relationship. These conditions, rules and limits usually define time, place and activity.
Slavery calls for a higher level of commitment and of serving, obeying and pleasing than submission. Slavery is the complete commitment of a slave’s body, mind, soul, and spirit. She submits to the will of her Master. His choices become her choices. Obedience is a major focus in her life.
Being a slave means you are willing to be molded to fit her Master’s needs and to serve him. A slave is re-socialized and re-educated by her Master to serve, obey and please him. Her attention is on his happiness.

Submission Vs Slave

The Master makes his slave his number one priority , even when it comes to friends and family. The Master insures the slaves needs are taken care of , even on a emotional and mental state.
While in some D’s relationship as stated above there may or may not be any type of training , what is important is you have found your place in life and your relationship.
Some thought my training strategy was a little strict , or maybe even a little unorthodox, but I am me and I was not going to change who or what I was . I did just that before and I failed..
Once you give your word you cannot go back or try to change anything when it comes to rules or protocols.
Again Master P is not wrong with what he is saying but we are talking about 2 different lifestyles.
I will give you a peak into Airanna’s mind she had dropped me off at a store and I told her to circle and pick me up when I was ready. She was texting with someone and she explained she was in service, this is just one example but her train of thought.
I enjoy the training , I love watching the transformation, I love creating but this comes with a cost, and that cost is Arianna and her well being is my responsibility, The decisions I make greatly effect two and not one. Yes this is where choices and consequences come into play…
It is the slave that has to adapt to the Masters way, if your having problems then sit back and think of what could be improved on

BDSM Relationship Reset

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Reset, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, communication, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, owning a slave, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, use your submissive, with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

We all get in a routine , we do the same ol thing day in and day out. The routine becomes such a habit we do not even realize it.
The same goes for relationships , the old routine , and up until last night I never gave it much thought until Arianna brought it up, and Reset was the word, a relationship lifestyle reset.

Now you could say the same thing about a vanilla relationship, but I really doubt you could pull your wife by the hair force her down to her knees, shove your cock in her mouth pump until you blow your load, bend her over the couch and force two fingers in her pussy and two in her ass and pump until your arm gives out, then put her in a cage. That does sound very interesting.

The routine , Yes Sir, No Sir, may I Sir? You may , you may not , hey lets play!!!!!!

You already have rules in place , you have structure in place and rules but your submissive or slave feels like they are in a rut, a dead end, no where to turn, and once their feelings are discussed you then think of a plan.

A Boot Camp a Mini Boot camp , 12 to 24 hours maybe even 48 hours, you can set time aside , after all its your relationship we are talking about, you cannot put a price on time spent with your partner. Once we get comfortable we tend to expect things instead of appreciating them , that is something we have to keep in check so your partner does not feel they are being taking advantage of…

So I am in the planning stage of what a Reset would mean to me , maybe something like the story I blogged about ? The Breaking Of Sabrina, maybe a kidnapping scenario, that would last 12 , 24 maybe even 48 hours.

Bondage , Hot wax , leather hood, ball gag, dildo’s , face fucking ass fucking … Fingers deep inside Arianna’s pussy probing and feeling around inside as deep as I can go, Fingering her ass, one, two, three fingers pumping her ass.

No conversation just using.. A Total mind fuck weekend nothing discussed , nothing negotiated.. What comes with all of this a total M’s relationship reset…

So we are different a Vanilla relationship may make plans for a nice weekend , a short get away. I on the other hand have a different thought of mind.

I think the only times this would not work is one , if you went through no training. Two if you did not enter the relationship as a D’s or M’s couple, or you do not live together. I do know LDR’s you cannot put an effective training program in place. The Dominant is not present so there is no way he can be in control 24/7 and he can only go by what he is told..

Sometimes we can get in a rut and we do not see the whole picture, we grow to expect things, everything just seem normal, and things begin to grow Blah.

Even today almost three years later I am always thinking of ways to change things up a little. The one thing we do not want to do is put or add more than the sub or slave can handle. The same with rules, once you have been together for a month or so the Dominant can begin to add a few rules, as the relationship progresses more can be added..

Many times we as Dominants let our feelings get in the way, we think one way and act on another, maybe in fear of that huge bad word NO. If your relationship is on track the word NO will never come to light. Your thinking you want your cock sucked but you see your sub watching TV, or playing a game on the phone, or maybe you feel guilty?

I take training very serious , once you begin a M’s relationship you are molding someone to fit your needs. You are changing someones thought process.
You are changing someones habits, you are training someone to know what your thinking, how to do something, and when to do it.

You as a submissive may think well I don’t want to give up that much control. Once in a relationship and as your trust builds , you will begin to let more and more go. Once you find you are in hands that truly care about you and has your best interest in hand…

One thing I do know, you always put your partner first no matter what, you keep an open line of communication open. If that happens you both will grow.

To have someone kneel because they want is a total rush, to have someone kneel because you can make them is just ego feeding.



Master And Slave Behavior modification

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Giving Head, Gorean Portocol,, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, provocative, Rules, Self-Discipline, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on April 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have covered this before , but I would like to go into a little more detail. I am not by any means an expert , nor do I have a PHD. What I do have though is almost 25 years experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I have played many different roles , the only thing I have not done and never will is be in the submissive role.
Some will argue you have to be submissive before you can be a Dominant and I find that statement to be complete hog wash. I have filled the Sadist role, I have been a Daddy Dom , A Dominant and a Master , owner of Property. Each role is very different , each role needs different care , but what they all have in common is they all require communication and honesty.

I have done years and years of research, met thousands of people in the lifestyle some good and some bad , some real and some fake. The one thing that is for sure you have to take your relationship serious. You have to know without a doubt what type of relationship you need , not want.

Behavior modification
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For the journal, see Behavior Modification (journal).

Behavior modification is the traditional term for the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to increase or decrease the frequency of behaviors, such as altering an individual’s behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of behavior through its extinction, punishment and/or satiation. It is similar to operant conditioning but with the absence of the antecedent. Behavior modification is now known as Applied behavior analysis (ABA) which is more analytical than it used to be..


Behavior modifications plans will vary depending on the individual and the behavior or behaviors that need to be changed. Behavior modification plans will include reinforcers, which are consequences that increase the behavior, and/or punishments, which are consequences that reduce the behavior.

Here comes a word I bring up in just about every post, can you spot it ?


When developing any type of behavior modification plan, it is important to keep in mind the ease of use. For behavior modification plans to be effective, they must be followed with consistency . Therefore, if the plan is hard to use, the likelihood that it will be effective will decrease because there will be inconsistent follow through. Okay maybe you missed it ? consistently , Consistence.

During any training the key is consistency if you the Dom or Master are not consistent you will fail and it will be your fault.

No matter your degree of submission you are going to go through some type of behavior modification.

Okay so BDSM is not medical and we certainly not shrinks by any means , but we are not only Dominants Masters or Daddy Doms , we are giving the responsibility and have agreed to take care of someone.

Now you the Dominant if you have any plans at all , in introducing any type of Behavior modification during your training this is something you should cover during your negotiations.

Adaption is a form of Behavior Modification , submission is a form , or just in general your employer.

When you speak in terms of BDSM your life takes a 100 degree turn, the way you talk, act , walk , speak, dress and in most cases even your hair color. Speaking of sex you will go through a few changes , now the sex is on your owners terms, the way you fuck , the way you suck cock, the way you lay , and at times when your allowed to cum.
Sex is on my terms , many men think with their dick and some would crawl naked through broken glass if they thought they were going to get a blow job, that is a true sign of being weak , and weak minded.

We train to fit our needs and wants , we train to fit your needs. Training can only be successful through positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a reward , you have done well, you are doing good thank you for all of your effort, you will make me a good slave. I really appreciate the effort you have been putting into our relationship.

I have covered in great detail about Arianna’s training and today it is on going. It is funny when I first met Arianna I asked her, how do you see your self as a salve? Her reply was she did not know. I asked her if she had any ideas about what she wanted out of training and her answer was no.
I then explained as we grew together and we learned each other she would have questions and things she would want to try and today that statement proved me right. Arianna is always trying to come up with ways to deepen her submission. The truth is she would rather be chained 24/7 and just used for pleasure and service.

Recently ahh about 3 months ago I required Arianna to speak in thirds , Speaking in thirds is mainly a Gorean protocol , while I am not Gorean I do use many of the lifestyles protocols. Speaking in thirds is a reminder of not only who Arianna is but what her position is in out relationship. Now she never uses the words I or me, it has been replaced with she or your slave. While she had second thoughts about being able to master such a task , Arianna has perfected it.
Did it happen in a week ? Of course not , did it happen in a month ? Again no it did not , did it happen in two months ? Again it did not , did I punish her when she messed up or forgot ? The answer is no I did not punish her. You have to remember I changed her whole thought process as far as speaking and thinking before she speaks. The harder=est part was being able to change her speaking process when around family and friends, I can assure you that is or was not an easy task. Everything is done through Positive Reinforcement

Rules that are attainable not out of reach , unrealistic will break a relationship. To many rules can cause a over load and cause a mental crash. The Dom spends more time waiting on a rule to be broken then training.
Rules are a type of Behavioral modification , your taking bad habits and replacing with good habits and again the is done through positive reinforcement , security , structure, communication , and rules.

You have to determine how far and deep you want to go with your submission. You have to determine how much control you want to hand over , you want to make sure your needs are met because if they are you will have no wants.

One last thing i want to add is , if you do not live together the above is nearly impossible to achieve. The Dominant really has no control over you and you will grow tired of trying to please someone who is not there.



BDSM , Depression, And Those Who Are Cutters

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Anger Issues, anti depression medication, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, Bipolar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Discipline, discussion group, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Health, Master, Master And Slave, Patience, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is no secret Depression is running wild today. 1 in 10 adults suffer from some type of depression.
An Estimated 1 in 10 U.S. Adults Report Depression

1 out of 8 teenagers are identified as having depression.
Depression is twice as more likely to affect females compared to males.
Approximately 20% of teenagers may suffer from teen depression before they achieve adulthood.
Around 5% of teens may experience major depressive disorder at any one point in their life.
30 percent of teenagers with depression also experience a drug abuse problem.
Between 20 to 50 percent of adolescents are affected by depression who have a family history of depression or some other mental disorder.
Depressed teens are more likely to have difficulty at schools and at jobs, and to struggle with relationship.
It is the sixth leading cause of death among the young children age 5-14.
Many adolescents with depression will suffer from more than one episode and 70 percent teens may have more than one episode before adulthood.
Teens with major depression seem to catch physical health problems more frequent than other teenagers.
In the United States, about 5,000 teens who experience depression commit suicide every year.
Most teenage depression can be effectively treated with medication, psychotherapy or combined treatment. Youngsters are more likely to react to treatment when they get it early in the course of their health issues

Now while I do not have a PHD, I am going to say these number are a little higher just because of the unreported cases there are. You may even be able to bump it another 3 or 4%.

There are over 5000 cases of teen suicide every years, and most come from families who suffer from some type of mental disorder.

Those who are in the lifestyle, the depression number run much higher. I am not sure what the connection between depression and BDSM are, but there is a clear pattern.

That is why if you are a submissive or slave, and you suffer from some type of depression, it is very important you find an experienced Dominant if you should choose to take that path. You need someone who not only cares about you but understands you.

Statistics on teen cutting are hard to come by because so few studies have been done on the subject.

Broad estimates are that about one percent of the total U.S. population, or between 2 and 3 million people, exhibit some type of self-abusive behavior. But that number includes those with eating disorders like anorexia, as well as those who self injure. (1)

A 2002 study published in the British Medical Journal estimated that 13 percent of British 15- and 16-year-olds purposely injure themselves. (2)

In the U.S., it’s estimated that one in every 200 girls between 13 and 19 years old, or one-half of one percent, cut themselves regularly. Those who cut comprise about 70 percent of teen girls who self injure.

Now these numbers are pretty old, so I am sure the numbers have grown, and will continue to grow, until someone mainly the parents be held accountable.

Since the majority of my relationships have been long term, well for the most, I have been with two cutters, those were chong and Bea, bea being the worse.

In both relationships I was able to help the two over come the cutting. Never at one time did I try to discourage the cutting, that is working against them and what they are feeling.
The thing I had to do was try to understand what made them want to do such a thing. Both gave the same answers it was a release, a release of deep inner pain.

Chong was really easy, she did not come from an abusive family, she had moved to the US at the age of 18, and had entered many abusive relationships. It was not long after we had moved in together, the cutting stopped. It was through hours and hours of communication, and listening to her, and showing that I cared, she slowly began to stop, it was not something that happened over night.
Chong suffered from depression, and was on no medication, but most of her depression was from having no family in the US and no one that really cared about her.
I got her in to see a doctor and one prescription of wellbutrin and in about 45 days she was a new person, she made a 360 degree turn around.

Bea was much different, what looked like the everyday go lucky family was not what it really was.
Bea was more of an introvert she felt out of place and only had one true friend, who was also a cutter.
Bea was forced to go to counseling, her mother would stand in the bathroom while she pissed in a cup, because they knew she was on drugs.

While in counseling she was forced to set in group settings, and the result was she never opened up. She ended up telling the doctors what they wanted to hear.
She was 18 when we moved in together, and I was 37, her parents went fucking nuts, but you know what I was now in charge.

I remember the first time I caught her cutting, I did most of the cooking, so dinner was almost finished and I walked in the bedroom, and there she was sitting on the bed.
I looked and said hey when your done dinner is finished. It was maybe 5 minutes and she walked out, we ate no conversation, then I instructed her to wash dishes.

Once finished I told her to go get her razor blade and she just looked at me. I said go get the razor blade now.
Once back we were sitting on the couch and I asked her, where is the place that feels the best, and she pointed to her thigh. I pulled my pants off and told her to hand me the blade and she looked at me confused.

I took the blade from her and I started to cut myself and her hand stopped me. I pushed it back and I cut my inner thigh. Fucking ouch, wow that shit hurts what the fuck. Bea said you don’t understand , my reply was I understand more than you think.

It started around the 5th grade she was blamed for everything, she could do nothing right. Her parents would fight every night, screaming and yelling calling each other names, but they failed to see was the toll they were taking on their daughter.

What is that around your neck ? She said your collar. What does that mean? It means you own me. What do I own ? You own all of me. Inside out correct? Yes Master inside out.

Positive reinforcement is the greatest drug in the world. Showing someone they are loved and cared for is the greatest drug in the world, communication is the greatest drug in the world, and the funny thing is all of those prescriptions are free, no doctor needed.

The more we communicated, the more she trusted me. It was not long she began to open up to me and sure enough she had been molested by a family member when she was around the age of 5. Ahhh the root, every problem has a root, and she never trusted anyone enough to share that root until now. The abuse went on for about 4 years.
I found out in six months what her parents could not find out in 18 years, all they knew was it was her fault and only her fault. Someone had to take one for the team and it might as well be her.

some eight months into the relationship we were talking and she just busted out laughing. I was in total shock because I had never even seen her smile.

I started with small rewards for not cutting. Dinner dates, movies, long drives, and at times clothes.

Even though our split was somewhat messed up, I understood why she left the way she did, its all good.

Today she is a teacher, married with two kids, so yea I did okay..

Every problem has a root, and if you just medicate the problem they never get better. Group setting do not always work, because if they do open up, it is a false door they are opening. You are being told what you want to hear.
Trust is the same in everyone it takes time, and if they do not trust like I said when you open the door it goes no where.

So now today if you Google BDSM and mental health there are very few negative articles, in fact most are positive when it comes to the lifestyle and it is consensual.

I have spoken to two of Arianna’s doctors and both agreed the lifestyle we are living is good for arianna and beneficial for her as well. Living in a structured home with love and no drama. That is two out of two.

The parents need to take a bigger role in not only their children, but as a family. There has to be a time in the evening when all TV’s and cell phones are cut off, and you talk, but you talk and you listen.

The parents may even have to look for other work if your out of the home more than 45 or 50 hours a week

Don’t get me wrong the teen has to be held accountable but only if they should be not because it is easier. Today it is much easier to bring in the Xbox or the play station, than it is to take the responsibility that parents should.
The thing most parents forget is they did not ask to be brought into this world, you Mom and Dad brought them in.

So you look at the suicides , and the shootings at the schools, there was something wrong, something bad wrong, and the parents were to blind to see.


In my view is healthy again I do not have a PHD but many times you can have a PHD and still be a fucking dumb ass.

If you the submissive are in a well structured home, with rules that really benefit you. You have an open line of communication, and you trust I mean really trust, you can live a healthy life and be happy.
You may not find yourself jumping up and down with joy, but you will feel stability in your life.
Consensual is the key word, and being with someone who understands you. That means you have to be honest and upfront about all of your problems.

If your with a Dominant and this topic does not come up, then he does not have your best interest in mind..



What Makes A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, Behavior Modification, Bondage, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Living Poly, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is an answer that will differ from one person to another. Every Submissive, Slave, or Baby Girl will have a different definition. Every Slave, Submissive or Baby Girl has different needs, their submissive is on different levels, but the characteristics should be somewhat the same when it comes to A definition.

Honesty should be first on the list. When you first meet a new Dominant the first words out of his mouth is. You should always be honest with me. Now if he holds you to such high standards , why would he not be held to the same ?

I know I rag on married men who cheat on their wives, but if a man is married and he tells you, I want you to be honest with me at all times. You need to stop and think about those words coming out of his mouth, because he is already lying to you about being honest. It is clear he cannot run or control his own home, so how can he control you?

I will speak about couples who move into the lifestyle here in a minute, because there is a clear difference.

You know when meeting a new Dominant you should be able to tell if he has your best interest in mind. Such as asking about your home life, your health, any medications your on. The music you like, your favorite foods, you get the picture.

It is very important the two of you get to know each other as friends.If you start the relationship off on a sexual note, then that is all you will have and it will be short lived.

Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you. I myself explain things in such detail when I am finished there are no questions. If you ask me a question I give a very in depth answer.

Before a Dominant can hand out any rules, he should know you inside out, He should know how you think and what makes you think the way you do. He must have a clear picture and understanding of your bad and good habits.

I have said before rules are meant to replace bad habits. Rules are meant to provide structure. Rules will give you a comfort zone, meaning you have a clear understanding of what is going on. Once you have rules in place, they are almost never altered. Once you have a grasp on everything a few maybe added or old ones taken away.


Is training real? Absolutely it is real and there are many different levels of training depending on how far you are wanting to take your submission.
Training can be mild, or it can be extreme, and even taking as far as what some would call the Stockholm syndrome, and one of the best references would be to study up on the Patty Hurst case.

You the Submissive or Slave should know and understand exactly what it is you hope to gain out of your training. How do you see yourself living in a D’s Or M’s relationship.
Before the training begins, the Dominant should sit you down and explain what he hopes to gain from your training, and where he hopes to see you in 90 days or so.
The training process can only be effective if the Dominant is consistent on a daily basis. The training can only be effective if the rules, and protocols are enforced on a daily basis.

A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that may put your job in jeopardy. A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that could be against the law.


Many of you really have no idea what the term Isolation means when it comes to a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Implementing such an act can be very harmful to you mentally, and physically. Shutting you out from the outside world, keeping you away from family and friends.
Lets face it we all need a break at one time or another. Being able to visit friends, family, having a girls night out. You want to be able to clear your head.
Isolation is something many fake Doms use as a tool. The more your isolated the less chance you have finding out any real information.
You Don’t need friends you have me. You don’t need to talk to anyone else , that is why you have me. I am your Dom, or master I have all the information you need.

You should never give your passwords or any other personal information to your Dominant. This is a true sign of the Dominant being insecure. We are all adults and we all need some privacy. Insecurity, and a huge ego will get you nowhere.
You as a submissive or Baby girl, you have the right to question, you also have the right to say no. If your not sure Google submissive or Baby girl.

If you do not live together you should have full access to your Dominants home, once you both have agreed to enter a relationship.
The reason being, he will tell you what is yours is now his. Well surprise, surprise it works both ways now..

You should have access to your Dominant 24/7 if you are not living together. If you send a text or email, you should expect a response in a timely manner, meaning within an hour or so.
I have seen on her where a Dominant has told his property he was to busy to text, or email for several days.

Pick up your cell phone and type 35 words and time yourself and see how long it takes. 15 seconds maybe? So your going to tell me the Dominant does not have time to respond, yea bullshit.

Remember you have giving your submission, and he the Dominant has taking on the responsibility. You do have rights.

If you do not live together, and you have agreed to enter a relationship, the Dominant should be able to provide you with a clear time line on when the two of you would be making some kind of move. If neither have no plans of moving in together that is fine.

The Poly Dominant

Poly is not for everyone, and living in a poly relationship is probably one of the hardest task in the lifestyle. Most poly families do not life together, for one reason or another. I know of a couple right now that are working but the drama is just out of hand.
If you do not live together, there is no way to maintain any type of structure. If you do not live together, there is no way to enforce any type of rules or protocols.

You the Submissive needs to ask upfront if the Dominant is poly or not. If you are not poly then you need to make it clear, and you need to stand by your words.
If you are open to the idea but with stipulations you need to make them clear.
You should also ask why he has a need to have more than one submissive or slave. When I has asked other Doms the answer has always been I need more flavor. Think about this for a minute, more flavor really? So your cocking sucking skills are not good enough, maybe he needs a tighter pussy? Or maybe you refuse to do anal and that is a need for him. If ass fucking is a need and your not into anal, guess what? Your the wrong submissive for him.

Dominants And Depression

That is a loaded gun, and the clip is never empty. There is a great chance you the submissive or slave has some form of depression, not everyone but the odds are pretty good you do.
If this is the case, how would you expect a Dominant who suffers from pretty much the same thing, take control of your life. If the Dominant is not able to control his own life, how can he control yours?
These are questions you need to find out before entering a relationship. You need to know what type of medications he is on and what they are for.
When entering a D’s or M’s relationship you can leave no stone un-turned.
Depression is a silent killer, watch the news this morning and you will see.

The Dominant.

No real Dominant has anger issues. The real Dominant is in full control. The real Dominant lives by the truth, and expects the same in return. A Dominant is in full control of his life and surroundings. The real Dominant has no Drama inssues, he has no Drama with the Ex.
Most Dominant are very active in the lifestyle it is a true need, I know this because it is for me, and the 25 or so I meet with every month.
You should be able to ask for references, of other Doms he knows and in some cases other Subs he knows or has owned before.

Reason being you are going to let a man tie you up, spank your ass, along with many other things, and you do not want someone who just read 50 shades thinks he is the almighty, he is now the Master of Masters. You can get hurt.

Couples moving into the Lifestyle

Now this is the other Dominant, he may still have some anger issues. Anger or controlling anger takes a while to master, it takes time to learn how to control. It took me some time, I do have a temper, and I have lost it, but Arianna has never seen that side of me and she never will.
You have to learn how to filter that anger and replace it with good.
One thing I started doing, my mentor told me this. If you are angry think about what your going to say before you say it.
This gives you time to rethink what your about to say, and it also gives you time to calm down a little.

If your wife is not Submissive, but you have found a Dominant side in you, if you sat your wife down and explain your needs in full detail, it is more than likely she will agree to experiment with your idea. You have to be able to sat her down, and explain in clear detail what has made you change, and why these things are now a need. In most cases it is in the woman’s blood to want to please.

If you are a submissive and your Husband is not Dominant, well it is sad to say your pretty much out of luck.
Chances are the male is not going to want to take on anymore responsibility than he already has, which in most cases is very little. Those who have very little responsibility, are in it for the mother figure thing , and that is what you are you do everything his mother did, except for sex.

You cook, you clean, you take care of the kids, you pay the bills, and he watches Monday Night Football.
Many married men see BDSM as abuse, and they feel bad about doing certain things.

You all know how I feel about stepping outside of the marriage, it is wrong.
When you got married you exchanged Vows and you made a promise.
If you are not happy leave, it is not fair to you, but more so it is not fair to the other.
How long are you going to live your life unhappy, so when you think about stepping out, think about your family. Why would you want to drag them or your children through your mess.

The Collar
The collar has great meaning. The collar is a sign of ownership. Once around your neck you will feel a bond like no other. This is when your relationship really begins to grow.

The Collar is giving after your first phase of training. The first phase as I call it, can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. About the same length of time you would think about getting married to someone.
The collar means you are now owned, the collar means you and your Dominant have come to terms and you are now ready to settle in.

If your Dom went to Wal mart and purchased a 6.00 dog collar, you now know how much your worth. If he went to an adult book store and paid 9.99 for a collar, again you now know how much your worth.

The collar is meant to be worn 24/7, so if you are a professional then great care should be taking when he is selecting your collar.

Many 50 shades Dominant have these wal mart collars and will try to give you the collar on the first meeting. This is used as leverage, this gives him more control over you, because you have agreed to submit, and only knowing him in person for a couple of hours.

Last you want to be excepted for who you are, not who the Dominant wants you to be. You want to be loved and cared for, you want communication, you want honesty, you want someone who is going to always put you first no matter what. You want someone who understands you, as a partner and a submissive, you want security, but you want that firm hand as well.
You want a leader who is in control, and stands by his words.

You want a real Dominant.


My Training Techniques Do Work

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, Behavior Modification, Collar, Collars, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook., FaceBook, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, gullible submissive,, Listen in at ‪#‎BDSM‬ ‪#‎DSRADIO‬ ‪#‎MIKEMAKAI‬, molding your slave, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive on May 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Ive spoke about how the submissive and slave should have a plan going into a relationship. How they should know what they want, and the questions to ask.

A Dominant should have a clear plan when it comes to training. The Dominant should know what he wants out of the relationship. I had a picture in my mind, a very clear picture of how I saw myself living everyday with a slave. I could picture the slave I wanted to live with. The hair the eyes, the body type.

I had the mold set in my mind. I already had my rules that I intended to implement , I had my protocols. I could see the structure within the home. I had a very clear picture of my everyday life and I was not going to settle for less. Now rules do differ from submissive to submissive and slave to slave, but you should have a general idea.

Pussy is pussy, a blowjob is a blowjob, it is the connection that makes the difference, it is the feelings you have that makes the difference.

When entering the relationship ship you have to go in with each knowing their place. Dominant Submissive, Master and Slave. You have to keep that frame of mind.  If you the Dominant you start to let your true feelings out, you can and will lose control. I am not saying you do not care about or love, but you entered the relationship with an understanding. I have said it before once you start to lose control you can never regain what you had. This is because the submissive has seen the soft side of you.

Now to all the Fifty Shade Dominants , this is the one who jumps from submissive to submissive. They want the sex but when you add a little responsibility to the picture the relationship is short lived. You read a book, look at some pictures and your ready to collar a submissive.

The Collar is a powerful object when placed around your neck. You are now different, you feel different, you want to be different. This is when you the submissive or slave, this is your weakest time, your really not thinking to clear, meaning your letting your guard down.  Now almost anything is fair game.

There is a lot of good information out there, and there is a lot of bad information out there. Most of what you read in common sense, but if there is not something you understand then ask, I would say ask more than one 3,4,5 and look at all the answers.  Chances are one or two will be the same, it is then up to you to decide what your going to do.

I made a comment not long ago before I was introduced to Mike Makai Who is a Author , I made the statement that there was no book that gave us guidance when it comes to BDSM and I was sent the name of a book Written by Mike Makai it is called

Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook.

Then Mikes Facebook page is.

Mike also has a radio station on Blogtalk radio once a week.

D/s Radio ,  Listen in at ‪#‎BDSM‬ ‪#‎DSRADIO‬ ‪#‎MIKEMAKAI‬

You can also listen to older shows on YouTube.

I have read his book now and as with anything I agree with a lot of it then there is some I disagree with. I am sure there are many things Mike does not agree with me on, but you know what it is all good. I have never claimed I know everything, but I do know what works for me. The BDSM lifestyle was not something I learned over night, I did not learn from a book, I learned from experiencing and I also had a mentor. To this day some twenty plus years there is still someone I confide in.

It is not often two Dominants will agree on anything. I know when Arianna and I attend different functions such as MasT meetings or munchs, when we walk in together I can smell the ego’s Wow the strongest smell in the world.

Arianna posted something a couple of days ago, about her training . She wrote about her experiences while in training. She also wrote how it helped her.

I am my Master’s slave

This title has actually been in my drafts on WordPress since Christmas. I had a few minutes so I’d thought I’d try and see what kind of blog formed out of it.

“I am my Master’s Slave. “

That is so true if you think about it. If you were anything like me when I met Master Vile I was a bit of a blubbering mess. Spewing every aspect of my crazy life to Him in the hopes that He would accept me,  faults and all.  To my amazement,  He listened to my inner workings,  thoughts and fears.  His response to me was pretty much that I needed to be wiped clean.  I needed to forget what I had learned up to that point and allow Him to mold me into something more.

You can continue reading from her post it goes into more detail, but you will see how my training helped her.

I was speaking to a Dom not long ago, I do not usually use names but his name is Mark , and he had used one Submissive until she was drained, and went through several others, until he was able to leach onto her.  He told me he was going to train her, I said cool man what type of training. Mark said the usual stuff, I said yea I use the usual stuff too. So I said what are some of the things you are going to incorporate and again the usual stuff. So in reality he did not have a clue. Mark really has no concept of the lifestyle. He also made it clear when meeting a new submissive she was going to fuck on their first meeting or she was not submissive, yea Arianna heard this as well.

So as Arianna explained on her blog she was indeed a complete mess, but not as bad as she thought but she was clearly headed down a dirt road of destruction.

So I began to take things away, more so freedom, I have spoken about this before. I implemented new habits. I limited her space within the home. Where she could sit, where she could stand, how she spoke to people, I implemented protocols . To change bad habits and make new habits you have to stay consistent on a daily basis. Once everything is in place, you cannot change anything up or at least I do not. My rules were not sexual. Rules are meant to change habits, in my eyes anyway. I brought structure into the home, we had no Drama, we had zero problems and to this day it remains the same. Once you complete your what I call bubble, it is very important to make sure nothing penetrates it disrupting what you have worked so hard on building.

You will find what works for you, when I first met Arianna I spent about a week putting a plan together, something I thought would work and it did. I started training and she did not have aclue

I do know if you enter the relationship and it is based on sex alone it will not work for very long. If you are with someone who sees your submission as a weakness and he is not looking out for your well being , your clearly not going to get anything out of the relationship, except problems, and the drama..

Now the question is am I right? Maybe not in every ones eyes. Does everybody agree with me probably not ? What I do know what I do works for me it works for us. I do dedicate a lot of time to insure everything runs as it should.

Ive always said have a plan and stick to it, if you remain true to who you are, things will work out. I know doing things my way has worked in the past, and what has failed was on my part, and I have no one to blame except for me. Yes I do take the blame for past relationships not working, but I learned from my mistakes, and Ive grown over the years, maybe my hair turning white so early has made me wiser.




Leash Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Behavior Modification, Collar, collar and leash, Collars, communication, Consensual, control, Discipline, Dominants, events, FaceBook,, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Masters, poly slaves, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Safe, slave, Slave Leash Training, Submission, submissive on February 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many laugh at the idea when someone says I am going to Leash train my Slave or Submissive. The fact is, if the two are very serious about the lifestyle. The leash can have a great impact on the Slave/ Submissive.

Just as the Collar has a great emotional impact, once it is placed around the neck. The same goes when the leash is added. Now there is someone to guide you. Someone is not in full control of your movements.

The Master would teach commands not with words but with movements of the leash. Up and down are the two basic. Pulling down on the leash indicates you wish for yours to kneel, pulling up indicates you wish for them to stand. .

The Master should always hold the leash with the dominant hand. This is to insure he has full control. Teaching the slave the different movements without speaking is not as easy as it sounds. You are teaching the Slave/Submissive to follow on your commands without speaking. It would be almost the same as Pony training.

Any training for that matter you as the Dominant has to stay consistent in your training. Once you implement a rule or protocol , then you stay on that path. Staying on a path you set helps set standards. More so the Submissive/Slave knows what is expected.

To take it one step farther You can use cuffs, behind their back. This give the Master total control, and the Slave/Submissive will have to pay attention to your commands. The commands are much like the commands you would give if you use slave positions in your relationship. I do not recommend most of the positions on a daily basis, but the Slave/ Submissive will pick up on one or two the Master likes and will use without being told.

The other day Arianna and I was talking and I was going to change the way she greeted me. She did greet me on knees bent forward with arms stretched out face down. I instructed her I now wanted slave position # 2 The same but facing away from me hands on ass spreading apart. She did as instructed but later explained she did not get the same feeling. In the first position she felt more like a slave and explained while in that position she had a big grin on her face because I was home, and she could not wait to see me.  So after we talked I made that change. It truly makes Arianna proud to kneel and wait for me to walk through the door. That my friend is devotion. This is not when she feels like it, the greeting is everyday. I expect no less from my Slave.

While leash training when you are speaking all eyes should be on you. You can tell when someone is listening and when they are not and you make the corrections with a slight pull on the Leash.

Now depending on who you are and how open you are about your lifestyle. You may want to keep the Leash play just at home. You may want to wear the Leash at local BDSM events such as munchs. Or where someone is giving a Demo, on rope or maybe spanking.

You may feel comfortable wearing your leash in public. Many years ago during a bile week event here in Daytona Beach I walked Chong down Main Street with a collar and Leash on. Up one side and down the other, and not one person made a comment. People took pictures but no one said anything. I did not really expect any comments, but during bike week I have seen way crazier shit than some bitch wearing a collar and leash. You may not want to be seen in public, and that is fine.

I have not giving much thought to training Arianna with a Leash. She has enough on her plate, and to add anymore at this time would not be fair to her. I have giving it some thought in the past, and I may very well here in the future.

The Collar once put around their neck gives them a feeling of being complete. They have worked so hard to earn. They have giving more in six months to a year than they have ever giving. I cannot even imagine the rush that goes through ones mind once the collar is put on. There is way more than just the feeling of being owned.

Then you add the Leash. You the Dominant are now in full control. If the Slave or Submissive is in the right mindset it will take them places they have never been before. Total power exchange. They now know they must follow without question.

This is also a type of Behavior Modification, you are giving a different mindset. Used on a daily basis they will soon adapt, and will most likely welcome the Leash when you bring it out.

One thing you never use is a choker collar, never, never , never.

Trust me it puts them in a different place.

Hey check out my friend on facebook she has an awesome group. Hers is more active than my group is you will have a lot of fun.





Some Feel Bad For Arianna

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Definitions, Behavior Modification, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, Domme, emotional, Emotions, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Portocol, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, No Rights, Protocol, Protocol public, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Slave Contract, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive on January 26, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A few of the comments that have been made has really got me to thinking, one that really hit me was the one about cutting Arianna’s hair. It sounded as is they were truly concerned about her well being.

I would just like to go over a few things, not that I have to explain myself because I do not have to, but I am going to take you a little deeper into our relationship.

Like most Arianna has probably been a slave for a very long time, I am even going back to her childhood days. While growing up being married twice, being taking advantage of several times by other men was something she was pretty much use to.

Most who are submissive or a slave know they are different, and most know they are different at a very young age. You continue to grow still having these feelings but you have no idea who to talk to. Maybe you have tried to talk to your husband or boyfriend but they did not understand, or they thought something was wrong with you.

Before I move on I will say this again. If your in a relationship and you cannot communicate, by communicate I mean being able to talk freely about anything and everything. You are in the wrong relationship. I call that a relationship of convenience, and nothing more. If you cannot talk to your partner about how you like to be spanked, slapped, tied up, or even peed on. You need to rethink your life. Are you going to live miserable for the rest of your life, or are you going to put your foot down and do something about it.

So when I first met Arianna she was out of control. She was on the verge of a serious break down and no one cared. She really had no one she could talk to and certainly not her nutty mother, who is a true wack job. She was lost and her life was spinning out of control. She was out almost every night drinking, guys were taking her money. She had spent 30.000 dollars on motorcycles .

Then we met , we had dinner I cooked for her. Baked chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, home made green beans, and rolls. I do enjoy cooking when I have time.

No I did not get a blow job nor did we fuck.

While talking well I let her talk and I just listened because I wanted to take everything in. While listening I was analyzing every word that came out of her mouth. While trying to process everything, and thinking of solutions , it really had my brain pretty much whacked by the time she left.

When she left I had a couple staying with me, and kelly said there is no way in gods world are you going to pull her in, I just winked and walked away. I may have said something as well but I do not remember.

So now I had to decide if I wanted to put that much into a relationship? We met again and like the first time we hit it off, so far the only thing we did not have in common was music.

I could see the confusion in her eye, I could see the hurt, I could feel how lost she was, and I wanted to take her by the hand right then, but we had to talk.

She told me she was a slave, she told me she wanted to serve. She told me she needed to be micromanaged. She told me she wanted no rights.

So before entering the relationship everything was pre-negotiated . I explained to her how I ran my house, my rules, and my protocols, and she agreed. So Arianna did not enter the relationship blindly.

As far as giving up control this is what she wanted, and now it has come to a point where she wanted to give up more control. This has come now because she knows she can trust me.

Arianna did have a break down. She had been seeing a doctor who had her on the wrong medication for years. Prior to that she had , had a couple but not as sever.

This was a very hard time for both of us, but we both stuck together. I was called in to speak to her counselor and we talked about our relationship. She did agree that the way our home was, it was good for Arianna to have rules and protocols. This came from a medical professional.

Cutting her hair was not a spur of the moment thing, again this was negotiated. I also wanted to see how far her submission was. We cut it she did not like it, but she was happy because I did.

Although we do not have a written contract we do have a verbal contract. It states what is expected out of each other. She states how Arianna will conduct herself at all times public or private. Where she can go, when she can go, and how long she can go. What she will wear. There is much more but again everything was negotiated, nothing is or was forced.

I believe a lot of the negative thoughts are coming from those who are younger submissives , or maybe even younger slaves. This all depends on what type of Dominant or Master you live with or what type of relationship your in.

Bottom BDSM

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Submissive (BDSM))

Male bottom held on a leash by a female top

In BDSM relationships, the bottom or submissive takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role. The other partner is the top or dominant.

A bottom can be subjected to acts such as flogging, servitude, or humiliation and can be physically restrained by bondage, which can itself inflict pain. A person who relinquishes control for a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a top, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals, is sometimes referred to as a slave. The top is then often called the Master or Mistress.

The term bottom originates from a more general use of the word, especially in the gay male community, to mean receptive partner during anal sex. (See bottom (sex))

Limits to submission

The acceptance of a bottom or submissive role in a BDSM relationship is seldom absolute, often operating within a set of defined limits.

A common means by which a bottom or submissive can signal to a top or dominant partner that their limits are being approached, pushed, or even crossed is the use of safewords; Extreme forms of submission or the practice of edgeplay can remove the safeword option from the bottom or submissive, although, this somewhat risky situation is entered into with the consent of the bottom or submissive.

It gives a clear definition of a submissive, or what is also known as a Bottom. The submissive does not submit on a 24/7 basis, and can put limits on their submission, as well as rules.

The world of BDSM as I posted the other day the BDSM Tree Of Life shows the different branches and the different lifestyles and that just touched on a very few.

Master and slave bdsm

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.

The owner/slave relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.


Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[1]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Symbols and rituals

A slave collar with D-rings, to which a leash may be attached

Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the owner/slave relationship. These include the wearing the owner’s collar, being registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some type.

Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in explicit detail. These contracts may also deal with domestic arrangements (such as cleanliness, home duties) and interpersonal relationship matters (such as issues of deference, language, etc.), besides the sexual arrangements. Typically, they would provide that the master has the only say in all matters relating to the body and manners of the slave, including clothing, underwear, social relations outside of the arrangement, etc. However, these contracts are understood as not having any legal weight and are not intended to be used in a court of law, but are an understanding and agreement between the individuals.

In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, many people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status. The collar may be a piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewellery that symbolizes slave status. These collars are generally not removed unless or until the relationship is dissolved, although some slaves are permitted to wear a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one outside of the home – for example during work or in social situations with people who may feel uncomfortable by them.

Slave training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a master or mistress and a slave. Typically this involves changing the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the master or mistress, perhaps instructing the slave to follow a set of rules that the master or mistress has set out.

Slave training is a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the master or mistress, or dominant. Training will usually be set out and defined clearly before it begins. The master or mistress will teach the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing to them. The slave, in return, gets pleasure from being able to make their master or mistress happy. Or, the slave gets a reward like food, a bed, etc.

In some instances, in more extreme relationships, it may also involve some forms of aversion training. This could include use of spanking, cropping or clamping to encourage compliance, and to permit the slave to find an excuse for complying in their own minds. If the “slave” being trained is also a masochist, they may enjoy painful punishment, therefore punishment may need to be psychological or emotional, to create the unpleasant result that the punishment requires.

The way a submissive and Dominant live, although some who are submissive may call theirs Master out of respect. The relationship between Master and Slave is much different.

The training is much different, the intensity of the training is much more different, the consistency of the training is much different, and then the daily life is much different than that of a submissive, or lets say a baby girl.

Those of you who do not understand Arianna started a blog because she felt she needed to share some of her thoughts about what I write. Those of you who have seen it, you have the freedom to ask her anything and she will answer with all honesty.

As I stated the world of BDSM has many branches , we all take a little from this and a little from that to make us who and what we are.

Although I am not Gorean I do run my house in a Gorean way, the difference being I only have one slave. I use Gorean Protocols as well

I can assure you our relationship is consensual. There is nothing non-consensual about our relationship. To this day Arianna wants to add more, as far as giving up rights and freedom.

I can assure you Arianna is where she needs to be, wants to be. Together we will continue to grow as Husband and wife, and Master and Slave.



Behavior Modification Is Alive And Real

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, Behavior Modification, Change, communication, Conform, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fetish, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Kink, kinky, MAST, Master, Master And Slave, needy, owning a slave, poly, Protocol, Rules, sex, slave, Slave no rights, slave positions, stop smoking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Slavery, TPE, Train your slave, training your slave on January 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

First things first today is the 12th of January and I am cigarette free. Well not totally I have this little friend called an ecig, which has really helped. There are some pretty bad withdraws though, this is after smoking for 38 years.

Now The Story.

Behavior Modification is real and alive. Along with such modification comes choices and consequences. Remember as a Dominant or Master we are taking full control over someones life. I am not so sure if this really is geared towards Dominants although there may be more than I really know about.

Most slaves when you start speaking about Behavior Modification, kinda look mat you like their skeptical , or like your nuts, but it is alive and well.

The choice however should be that of the slaves. How far do you want to take your submission? How do you see yourself living as a slave on a daily basis? How do you see yourself serving? Is it Domestic? Sex Slave ? or both?

Arianna wanted to relinquish full control. She wanted zero responsibility. Again that was something I did not just jump into, because now you have a huge ass fire you have to be able to control. You the master has to keep this fire contained, you have to learn how to control it.

I have talked about this before but maybe not in as great detail. How deep you want to go now depends on the master.

I thought for sure there would be some type of resistance but that was not the case, as a matter of fact there was none, which really shocked me

So to start out with all the things in life she liked or wanted, she now had to ask for. Instead of just sitting she had to ask for permission. She had to ask for permission to go to the bathroom, to eat, to drink, to get dressed. She was no longer able to make the simplest decisions, with the exception of work.

She was now told how to dress, how to do her hair, what color. She had to ask for permission to do her nails and I picked the color and she wore the color whether she liked or not. I picked out a hair style, this was the deal breaker here or so I thought. We went to a beauty shop and I showed the woman the style and she just looked at me. She shaved one side of Arianna’s head, leaving the other somewhat long. This all falls under Behavior Modification.

Once you begin I will say it again you have to be consistent in your training. You can not give in or give your slave a day of rest for the first 90 days. You must be diligent in your training. No matter how bad you feel , you have to stay on track.

You take things away from the slave, such as free time, Tv, music, limit their phone use. Everything they had available on a daily basis now becomes a need.

Humiliation should also play a factor in your training. Slave positions is a good way to start. Making the Slave expose themselves to you. Chances are they have been seen nude, but never fully exposed. On their back legs spread with them pulling their lips open just for your viewing pleasure, or position number two I like on hands and knees head down ass up both hands spreading ass wide open, again just for your viewing pleasure.

I do not think anyone really uses the words Behavior Modification during training. Most of the time it is I am going to train you, but what you are doing is teaching someone your way of life and what is expected. You either conform to the new way of life or you don’t, you either stay or you don’t. If you choose to stay then let the process begin, how the process goes all depends on the Slave, it can be an easy transition or you can fight it.

I have blogged about  Behavior Modification before but I wanted to cover a lot more, I felt like I left somethings out, and I will probably think of more down the road.

Maybe some Dominants do not take things to the extreme,maybe some do not want to dedicate so much time, but if your like me, I want the whole pie.

Wanting the whole pie to me is a need not really a want, that is why I have been so against poly. If you find a Slave who completes everything, I see no need for another. Other Slaves are brought in because one cannot fill certain needs the Master has. I have asked other Master what the need is and the answer is always because I want different flavors. So you take one Slave and you mold all the flavors into one. Kinda like going to Baskin Robins Ice cream, and getting a little of each in one container.

That is the same with Behavior Modification you are taking a Slave and molding her to fit your needs. How many Slaves can one Master really take care of. The fact is most who are a Salve or Submissive are very needy, I did not say all but for the most that is true. Most are very emotional. To add another would be taking needed time away from the first Slave, which you always say they are number one.

Some Slaves prefer the poly lifestyle , if the Master is a Sadist and you are not a Masochist, you would gladly open the door for another to come in and take your place, better the other slave than you, I guess.

The one thing a Submissive or Slave needs to understand, your Dominant or Master is not going to change, that will never happen. What will happen is you will change, and most likely you will change your whole life to fit ones needs.

BDSM is not about sex although today most think so BDSM equals fucking or sucking cock, or beating you until you cannot walk. That is a type of Behavior Modification, because that is how you the sub or slave understands how things are and you just go along with the flow of things.

I am more about control. I put rules in place, I put protocols in place, and it is very simple you follow or you don’t. When I was in my teens , 20’s and early 30’s I was all about sex , but there comes a time when you have to grow up, or want more things out of life, or like some you never grow up, things never go your way and it is always someones fault and never yours.

I love sex, I really do it is almost like a fetish to me, but I do not let my cock run my life. If I want my cock sucked I will tell Arianna, if I want to fuck the same. I would think a grown man would want more out of life than just a piece of ass.

A couple of Months ago at a MasT meeting in Orlando the topic came up about what if a Slave decides to move on. As I stated If it has been long term I would think it would be difficult just because of all of the above and that is based on the Behavior Modification process both the Master and Slave has gone through.

If you jump from Master to Master even just while searching for the right one, you as a Slave never get to experience the whole process, the true feeling of TPE Total Power Exchange.

I believe with a Dominant and Submissive it does not go as deep as an M’s relationship, because the training process is totally different. I do not think the Dominant invest as much time as  master Does in an M’s relationship. I could be wrong but this is my train of thought.

When Arianna states she is a no rights Slave that is what she is. I will admit the training was much easier than I had anticipated, and everything just fell into place. She made the needed adjustments and was able to make a somewhat smooth transition.

I may at times act up and get a little goofy, but I can say there is no one who could fill her shoes. There is no one like Arianna who could stand toe to toe with her, and be the Slave I need, and more so be the Slave she needs to be.


Behavior Modification Good Or Bad ?

The above is just my opinion, it is the way I see things. You may think different as a Dominant or Master but in the end we want the same for ours.