Archive for the Beatings Category

Warning Signs Of A Fake Dominant

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Argue, Arianna, assault, bdsm, Beatings, Dating, Dominants, emotional, Fake Dominants, Master, Mini Skirts, sex, skirt no panties, slave, Submission, submissive on November 23, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who enter the world of BDSM are really clueless , the first is the chat rooms which are really polluted , and most of the time is spent arguing over who is real and who is not. Private messages telling one to strip and kneel, or the hours of phone sex , sending pics and short videos.

The second are BDSM dating sites. If your looking for a partner in the lifestyle my number one choice is Fetlife. There are thousands of groups and any fetish you can think of, and within the groups are members profiles, you literally have your pick from thousands and you pick and choose who you want to contact. is known as the meat market by Dominants, 90% of Collarme is spam and predators just looking for a piece of ass, or maybe some late night Head. is getting just as bad if not worse, to have a pay site and allow so much spam , but they are making money and lots of it so who really gives a fuck.

It has been years since I have been in a chat room. as I entered the moderator wanted me to ask permission to enter, well yea go fuck yourself, I ask permission from no one. Then the Slave who was asking permission to enter has to strip and beg to enter. Okay if she agreed how do you know she really stripped. Just an ego thing I suppose.

The Fake Dominant will come off smooth at first , he is going to tell you everything you want to hear, he is going to sweep you off of your feet in just a matter of minutes. Yes it is true you will probably fuck on the first meeting because that is what he expects. or at least give head in the parking lot so you can prove your submission.

He will offer you his collar if not the first meeting , it will be within a week or less, and you the Slave not knowing any better will gladly except.

This is when the smoothness goes away. His personality changes he becomes more controlling. His communication has all but stopped, he does not praise you any longer. It is now about him and only him.

He becomes more controlling this is fear of losing what he has just gained. He starts to isolate you from friends and family. He no longer allows you to go out. Your time has to be accounted for.  Now you find out he has a temper, the name calling starts the yelling and yes sometimes it gets physical. The comes the emotional black mail this keeps a tight rope on you. Just look what I have done for you, Making you feel guilty and the guilt comes from fear.

This is why I encourage other Slaves to interact with others in the lifestyle. I feel it is very important to allow a Slave to have friends someone they can speak to on the same level.

Once the relationship has ended it is the Dominant who ends it. He has already gotten what he wanted the challenge is over, there is nothing left to win.

So he will either cut off all communication, or just stay in contact enough so he knows he has some pussy on the side. Or you get a bogus email or text saying something bad has happened. I have seen this many times. While the communication is limited the reason being he is now on the hunt again. You are on the sideline until his next catch. Then poof like Casper the ghost he is gone.

Now your thinking I am full of shit, I can live with that. The thing is I have no reason to lie to you, because I have nothing to gain. A human lies when they have something to gain, or they just cannot help it.

When meeting a new Dominant , you the Slave picks the time, the location and what your going to wear. If you have any thoughts that he expects you to put out on the first meeting, just go to the bathroom and wash your hands, and keep on driving forward.

Think about it for a second. Your going to meet a man, a Dominant whom you know nothing about except for a few emails maybe a few phone calls, and your going to let him take you to a hotel and tie you up. Are you really serious ? Once you are tied up spread eagle and gagged guess what ? You are fair game. One or two things could happen. One you leave happier than you have ever been, because he has just fucked you like no one else ever has, or you wake the next morning black and blue and unable to go to work. Are you really going to put yourself in that kind of position ?

When first meeting a new Dominant okay lets say online. He should be willing or want to get to know you as a person. See what things you have in common, other than BDSM. If you start off with BDSM guess what ? That is all your going to have in common. Beware if sex comes up to soon. Beware if he demands you wear a skirt with no panties. Wear what you want, you have the right to refuse. If he says fine I do not want to meet then you know what head he was thinking of.

I have known many who have been raped, and they continue on the same path of destruction hoping that they will find the right one, allowing themselves to be used and abused.

Think before you act the right one will come along. Don’t get fucked up.



Pain Can Be Pleasure

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Dominants, emotional, erotic, extreme, Fake Dominants, Fetish, Humiliation, Local events, masochist, Master, Pain, Pain Slut, pleasure, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, slave, submissive on August 15, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

A couple of years back, I had called into MPR public radio, and I was disputing the theory that most cutters had a drug problem. This is the category they put people in, well she is a cutter so she must have a drug problem. That statement is so far from the truth. Parents want to accuse because they do not want to take the blame, it could not be them, they could not be the root of the problem.

Cutting somewhat like a masochist is a way to release pain, maybe stress, it gives one a high, a feeling of satisfaction, takes them to another world for that moment.

Okay Cutters tend to be different, kinda shy, stand offish , they really do not connect well with others, very few friends, and the friends they do have are the ones who understand them.

So most are forced into counseling , even rehab, because they have to be on drugs. Over the years I have learned how to spot a cutter, just as I am able to spot a submissive while out in public.

Being spanked hard, or cutting releases endorphin’s , a rush through the body kinda like when you get goose bumps. So there is pain but there is no pain if that makes sense. You feel the first blow or the first cut, then it is a total rush.

Okay so it is never the parents fault, we all have to blame someone else it could not be our fault. The fact is most do not want to take personal responsibility for their own actions, it is much easier to blame someone else.

So it could not be the alcoholic parents who fight every night, or not even drinking just fighting. It could not be the fact that there is no communication, or the parents do not take an interest in what their child is doing, or it could not be the fact that their child likes to dress different, and the parents do not except them for who they are.

Okay so let go up in age, Bea was a cutter when I first met her, being a cutter did not allow her to wear short sleeve shirts while out in public, nor could she wear shorts because of the marks on her thighs.

I remember the first time I saw the cuts I felt this deep pain, I felt a very deep sorrow, I could not even begin to imagine how she felt.  I did catch her a few times but the first couple of times I said nothing.

After being in a stress free environment for a while and someone who was taking an interest in their likes the cutting came to a stop.

The feel of a belt across the back, the sting, I would see sherris eyes get all glassy, she would bite her bottom lip, and I could see this intense pleasure in her eyes, this was a release for her, it took all the pain away for that moment in time. Our sessions would last for hours, and when I left she was fast a sleep, maybe not being able to sleep for days.

I believe Masochist are much the same way, although I could be wrong. I believe Masochist for the most carry a very deep pain within, and each session is like a drug, but the prescription never runs out. The endorphins take over the whole body, and most of the time one just goes completely limp, or you could call it sub-space, but in most cases no matter if aftercare is giving they will tend to experience sub-drop. Under normal circumstances I believe sub-drop can be prevented due to aftercare and being proactive when it comes to aftercare. Aftercare should not be used just during session, aftercare can be provided just from holding and talking, general conversation, paying attention to ones needs.

Pain can be bad in the wrong hands, you get a new Dom that has no clue to what he is doing, or the other who just does not give a Fuck. Both scenarios could turn out bad if not fatal. I have seen many get hurt physically, then when it hits what a dumb move you have made the mental kicks in.

Although it took me sometime to realize that not all women were not masochist, I still respected their limits. Respecting limits if not in a relationship is something many new Doms or fake Doms have no problem looking over and could really give a flying fuck, your a one night stand.

Those who are not into pain, well that is the way your body is written. If someone says I can teach you how to take pain, he is a fucking ass. No one on earth can teach you to take pain, I have been down that road it does not and will not work. If anyone says anything different run as fast as you can.

If you want to feel something erotic and not painful, try the violet wand, turned on low can rock your world. Turned on high well that is a different story.  Don’t ever buy the complete kit you can spend upwards towards 1200 dollars or more. If you look on Ebay you can find single ones with one attachment for about 35.00 dollars and you can buy attachments at a later time. Beware of the Chinese wands they tend to over heat and burn up.

If your a Dom looking for a pain slut, then look for one, do not take your aggressions out on someone who is not willing. If your a sadist talk to the submissive before starting any type of play.

Just my thoughts much Love to everyone.



Does The Crime Fit The Punishment

Posted in 24/7, abuse, bdsm, Beatings, Bondage, communication, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominants, Honesty, Humiliation, Love, masochist, Master, Pain, problems, Punishment, Respect, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Scared, slave, Spanking, submissive on July 19, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I remember coming home one day and as I was entering the house I heard loud screams coming from two women, I was not sure what was up but when I walked in Chong and Beth were on the floor fighting. I mean they were really fighting. I walked in stopped and looked stepped over the two, poured a glass of tea walked back over stopped and I said I guess you two are having a bad day. Both just stopped and looked at me, as if I was going to tell them to stop, break it up or even take sides. I did not care that much for beth, although she followed my rules I think she tolerated me more, in the beginning anyway. I shut the door and went into the living room and turned on the TV.

Shortly after both walked out hair all fucked up, makeup smeared, looked really sad. So both started to explain what happened and I just said I do not want to hear it, you two have to work what ever happened out, I am not getting in the middle of your problems.

While at a munch some time ago I made the same remark and the answer was I should of beat them both. Well it just so happens I disagree . Beating or spanking is not always the answer. In the vanilla world you are not suppose to hit your wife or girl friend, in my eyes a man should never hit a woman at all.

So the BDSM lifestyle is much different it seems to be expected. There is a huge difference in playful spanking, verses spanking for punishment. Okay now I have spanked before, but I was setting a stage of what could and would happen.

A few months back Arianna had a very important task to complete and she forgot, this was after a couple of reminders. So I wanted to give her something to remember. on the bed ass in air, and I picked up my belt and it was 4 or 5 swats that really echoed through out the room. Since then she has walked a pretty much straight line, she does not want a repeat of that afternoon.

When I talk to others about the lack of punishment, their comment is do you not get bored, or I couldn’t live like that. It is like they are hiding in the brush just waiting to pounce. They cannot wait until their sub or slave fucks up. The first thing they want to do is grab a paddle, a belt or riding crop. Something to remember.

Hard impact Spanking as a form of punishment can have the same effect as mental and physical Sub-Drop. I am not saying that at times punishment is not needed because you can cry wolf one to many times. If you do not punish when a rule is broken or something very important is forgotten , the submissive can and will lose respect, I have said before once you have lost that respect it is impossible to re-gain control. It does not matter how many ways you try to explain your actions it is done.

Most who are submissive love spankings anyway, most get off on being spanked, a huge endorphin release, a rush, like a hundred mile an hour roller coaster. So why give something that is liked, not to mention if you spank as a form of play, when you do it as a form of punishment it can cause some confusion, again the sub-drop

My way of thinking is at times on a regular basis a slight form of humiliation is needed, I cannot give any examples off the top of my head but if you know yours then you know what effects them and what does not. Slight humiliation on a regular basis keeps your property in check. Some Slave positions work, or being exposed like being nude legs open everything in the open. you get the idea.

So what crime does it take for the submissive to be beaten? Where do you draw the line, when it comes to physical contact. Okay back to the mood altering medication even for just depression what effect does the contact have not only short term but long term.

If the Dominant is on top of their game, there should be no slip up. The last thing a submissive or slave wants to do is break a rule. Some will in the beginning just to see how far they can push or just how much they can get away with, before that line is crossed.

I myself when I explain something to Arianna no matter the subject I go into great detail so I cover all bases. Once I have finished I ask if there is any questions, maybe I left something out.

On the other side of the story, some do expect to be spanked for their mishaps, mistakes, rules that are broken. The truth is one will only start to break rules if they are not getting the attention they feel they deserve, or want, and need. Most are very needy, needy in a huge way. This is something to consider before entering a D’s or M’s relationship.

Scolding when a rule is broking or something very important was forgotten, very humiliating, making them stare you in the eyes while talking to them.

Then at times rules can be looked over if you implement to many at one time, instead of introducing a few at a time. You can overwhelm the submissive, kinda like walking on egg shells, trying not to break one, it is impossible.

We are all different, we all live different lives, we all have different rules, we all expect different things from our property. Those who do believe in spanking as a punishment, and it works for you, it is all good. Just remember the Sub-Drop thing and the effects it could have both short and long term.

I know all of this sounds crazy coming from me. What is Vile losing his grip, getting soft in his old age? Nah not at all, I run a very strict house, it is my way, always my way. The difference to everything being my way I do not carry things to an extreme, I am not ego driving. If two enter a relationship and both knows what is expected there should be no surprises. Being truthful with each other from the start is a must.

So you do not live 24/7 and you have instructed your submissive to send you pics. Something comes up and she cannot or simply forgets. So you strap her to the bed face down and beat her. Really over a few pictures.

BDSM is not one meaning BDSM is broking down into four parts. Bondage Discipline , Sado and last Masochism . Within the four is a very large tree of life and it allows us to expand and be who we need to be.

We ad Dominants are suppose to be better than lets say someone who practices Domestic Discipline Within that circle is a wide range of abuse, because most of the time those males are controlling and not in control. Being controlling is when abuse comes into play.

Male Dominants are held to much higher standards, we are suppose to be caring and loving, understanding, but strict, we are suppose to be in full control. We are looked up to because we take care of ours.

When you strap a bitch down to the bed, and beat her because she forgot to send a few pics, or maybe just maybe she felt a little uncomfortable. Then we are no better. Unfortunately many Doms are ego driven, being ego driven gets in the way of being in control.

Now it is not to say if Arianna made the same mistake over and over then at times a good spanking just may be the cure. I can tell you after the first she walks a fine line, and she has even brought up the fact about not wanting to get into trouble.

Sit your submissive down talk to them, find out what is going on in their head, a simple mistake does not constitute a beating. There is a reason for everything.

So you just beat the shit out of your sub then you want to role her over and fuck her, yea that is a real man there. There is no difference than a vanilla blacking his wife’s eyes then wanting to fuck.

Just my opinion I do not expect everyone to agree with me.

Just think Does the crime fit the punishment.




Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, Bipolar, blindfold, Bondage, cage, Cherish, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Depression, Dominants, Fear, Humiliation, masochist, Master, Masters, Mental illness, Pain, positive reinforcement, Praise, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, session, slave, Stressed, Sub Drop, submissive on July 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sub-drop is something that has to be dealt with right after a session, or rough play. I firmly believe that sub-drop can be prevented with the right care.  While some may disagree I am speaking from over 20 years of experience in the lifestyle. I am not some dude who got out of bed Friday and said I am a Dom on your knees bitch.

You spend a couple of hours in a session, playing rough, not making love but just raw, sweaty hard fucking. Last weekend Arianna and I spent about 3 hours in play from being bound in the cage, tied to the bed spread eagle, blindfolded not knowing what was going on, not a clue. I cannot even imagine that feeling. Being able to hear but you cannot see.

I love using sexually, it is like mini golf I want to play all three holes and then start over. Sometimes I don’t even want to cum because I don’t want to lose that feeling.

I love face fucking, to me face fucking making her gag is one of the most humiliating things a man can do to a woman. I love feeling the throat muscles wrap around my cock feeling that gagging sensation. WOW.

Sub-Drop there are a couple of different definitions. one being, Physical Sub Drop the other being Mental

Physical Sub-Drop during a hard play session where a lot of impact play is going on, your body see’s this as more of a trauma. So naturally the body goes into the defense mode, pulling most of the blood to the to the torso area to protect the organs, yes think about this for a second, your mind is one place, but your body is in another.  While you are enjoying the play your body is going what the fuck.

Then comes the Mental part of Sub-Drop Mental Sub-Drop is much harder to see, It varies in such a great degree from person to person but usually takes the forms of guilt, anxiety,depression, and or agitation. This can happen right after a session or it can take up to several days for Sub-Drop to kick in.

There are several things we have to look at before any type of hard play. Things should be talked about like types of medications they are taking, mind altering , for depression or any other mental illness. If someone is suffering from Bi-polar then you have to adjust your play and not push to far.  If the Dominant does not know the submissive inside out there are things that should be considered. It is up to the Dominant to look out for the Submissive, we are to insure their safety.

Normally after a session the submissive has a feeling of being relaxed, not caring, very much at home feeling, and very tired the submissive will be mentally drained. Let them rest take a nice hot bath, bath them talk to them.

Aftercare is very important, if you just spent an hour beating a submissive and you untie and just walk away then you are not a good Dominant, I use the word beating loosely by the way.

While it is true after a session some do want to be left alone for a while so their mind can process everything that just happened. During a session you should be in constant communication with the Submissive insuring they are in fact okay. Again you the Dominant are responsible for their safety.

Give them some time alone if they need, let them curl up in a ball and process everything, even take a nap.

After you should step in, hold and pet, talk to about everything that happened. Praise the Submissive for doing so well. Talk about any limits that were tested or pushed.

Even if there was no real impact play , and everything was mainly mental the impact on the body can still be devastating.

That is why I myself believe Aftercare should be Proactive, and not just used after play, more so if the submissive is a masochist.

Certain medications and hard impact play do not go well together. If your submissive suffers from any type of depression and is taking mind altering drugs then there must be communication. You as the Dominant may decide there is a better approach to playing or you may decide not to play at all. Again we are to look out for ours.

I am going to pass on a link that I think everyone should read and maybe it will explain a little more about your feelings after play.


Much Love


In Service Slave

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, Beatings, Dominants, In Service Slave, oral, oral sex, relationships, session, sex, sex slaves, slave, Spanking, submissive on July 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

BDSM has so many levels and kinks I seriously doubt I could explain everyone of them. If you were to look at it like a family tree you could not count the branches.  Although BDSM has been around for Hundred’s of years maybe longer dating back to the Romans, the Viking era, there has always been service slaves.

A Slave who is truly willing gives up all rights, makes no decisions, and is loyal to one, the Slaves Owner. That is really heavy if you think about it.

Now before you go judging I stated above that there are many different levels of BDSM, many different kinks, and fetishes. I may not understand the dynamics of someones relationship but I respect what they have.

Some have little to no rules, some have no protocol at all. To some it is just about sex and nothing more. To some it is about sneaking out while the spouse is at home and hooking up with another to get your kinks on.

Then there is the other side. The strict, the rules, the protocols. to some these are needs not wants. I run my life off of a need system, once my needs are met then I look into my wants. I want a 1978 Camaro Z28 with a 4 speed, but it is not a need. We did need new transportation so we bought Arianna a new car, that was a need. She drives it daily I do not, but when I drive it I do have fun the Fiat 500 is an awesome car. That was a need, I was looking out for Arianna.

We have rules that are followed, we have times certain things are done, bath time, bedtime , getting up and so on. Everything I have put into place has a purpose, nothing is meaningless.

I handle everything without question, that is what I agreed to do, Somethings are on a need to know basis. Our house runs smoothly, no arguing , no drama, no stress. It is my job as a Husband and Master to insure all of the above goes as planned. On my days off I take Arianna out, maybe to eat, a local munch, we went to a few night clubs a couple of weeks ago, but when I am off I take care of her needs. Now this is on top of my work, I work at 50+ hour week, so I do get tired.

An In Service Slave in my house is mainly sexual, some bondage, light play spanking, cage time which Arianna loves, so using the cage for punishment is out of the question.

Before Arianna met me she had been with a few other Dominants, all were based on not only stress, but consisted of some kind of pain, be it punishment or just play. One time Arianna was bruised so bad it was about two weeks before everything cleared up.

So we take out the pain aspect of the D’s and M’s part of the relationship. I have spanked Arianna once. Spanking is not something I normally do as a form of punishment, but I wanted her to know it is there for my use. I can tell you she did not enjoy at all.

I call it in service, I do help out around the house, I do a lot of the cooking, I am not much on laundry but if I see Arianna is getting over loaded, I will step in. My coffee is ready in the am with my cup in place I hit the button. Once done I prepare two cups one for me one for Arianna. my Dinner is placed before me. She does not start to eat until I have taking the first bite.

Sex when and how I want it, although I love head I seldom have to ask, because she is the first to ask. Arianna sleeps nude just for that purpose. If I wake and want to hit it, to just get off that is what I do.

When it comes to sex the word no never comes out of her mouth, it is for my taking when and where I desire. After I shower I am dried off. I like that, that was not something I requested she just did it. While I am in the shower Arianna kneels by the tube, again this was something she felt she had to do.

If you are true the slave just comes out, without thinking. You as a slave or submissive , you already know what to do it is just being allowed to be yourself.

This type of relationship works for some, while some it does not

If those of you who are submissive could truly learn to release everything and give yourself fully. Your relationship would be so much different. I am not saying this is for everyone because it is not. To experience total bliss and not having a worry in the world all things would be good.

To be able to release to give yourself 100% knowing the one your with is going to take care of you and only you. What more could one ask for?


You Can’t Fix Stupid

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Safety, Beatings, blow job, Bondage, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, cum, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fantasy, fuck hole, fucking, Giving Head, Humiliation, Kink, kinky, married, Married Dominant, masochist, Master, Masters, Mini Skirts, morals, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, non-consensual, On your knees on your back, oral, oral sex, Pain, Patience, punish, Punishment, Respect, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, session, slave, Spanking, stupid, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, TPE, Trust, Whores, You Can't Fix Stupid on July 14, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Quoted by Comedian Ron White. You Can’t Fix Stupid. Yes that is the truth. There is no class you can take, nor is there a pill, stupid is forever.

Yea I know I rag on men pretty bad I suppose that is why 95% of my followers are women, single, married, dating, and yes confused. I do appreciate everyone who stops by to see what I am ranting over, sometimes I do get off track a little at times, mostly when someone does something stupid. Yea I rag on married men who have to cheat and step outside of their marriage because they cannot control their own home and put their bitch in place. They are scared to talk to their wives about there kinks, and needs, but for the most it is just a fantasy and nothing more it never does last to long. They end up going back home with their head stuck between their ass cheeks and continue to say Yes Dear. Pussy’s.

On the other side of the picture some men well most who are in a D’s or M’s relationship still do not fully understand what they have at hand. They have not a clue about how good things could or can be. They do not have a clue about how every fantasy, or dream, or a life of total bliss could or can come true.

Walk up to your Vanilla wife and say on your knees bitch suck my cock right now. Your going to get this stupid look like REALLY, are you SERIOUS?  Tell your Vanilla wife to strip and spread again that look, then here it comes you feel Stupid, again you can’t fix Stupid.

Men or those who are Dominant or claim to be , or who demand to be called Master do not have a clue about the possibility’s that stands before them. They know what they want but they are not sure how to go about it.

Then for what ever reason most believe or think that the lifestyle is about punishing, spanking, humiliating, degrading, and even physically hurting, and not looking at the mental aspects of what they are doing.

You broke one of my 128 rules bend over and take your punishment, I am going to beat you until you can understand my rules. I will beat you so bad you will think twice before disobeying me.

Yea it does not really work that way. The truth is a Submissive or Slave would not think of breaking a rule. The punishment in their mind is far greater than laying down and taking a beating. The Sub or Slave is more than willing to lay and take what you give, even after the bruising and yes some cuts. Which will most likely be there for weeks to come. Did they really break a rule or did you the Master change one up to fit your needs?

Submissive’s and Slaves thrive on making their owners happy, and will go through great lengths to insure their owner is taking care of. It gives the sub and slave a natural high knowing they have pleased. Even if it is a one way street they thrive on pleasing and the truth is they expect very little in return.

Here is the thing a Submissive or Slave is really looking for very little. Love , acceptance , communication, someone who is truthful. They are looking for guidance, structure, and most of all total understanding of who and what they are. As you can see the list is not really that long.

Most will allow the owner to have more than one, which you know in the vanilla world that would be a total no no. Most will allow you to pass them around like a bucket of popcorn with only the question in their eyes not from their mouths, a look of confusion, but yes most will do so just to please.

There are not many men who have the privilege of calling their woman their BITCH, again call your vanilla wife your bitch, and you get no pussy for two weeks. You can call her your whore, fuck meat what ever comes to mind, and if you wonder why you can refer yourself to what I wrote about what they are looking for.

So you have a woman, who will suck your cock at the snap of a finger, a woman who will spread and allow you to just fuck her without caring if she cums or not. A woman who will dress to please you, even when she does not feel comfortable wearing that mini skirt with no panties in public. A woman who will crawl on the floor like an animal, bark on demand. A woman who just truly wants to please their owner.

Yet after the above we still have those who have the need to abuse, be it physical or mental some still have the need.

We as Dominants are suppose to build up. Yes it is a fact that most who are submissive do have a low self esteem, not all but for the most it is true. So we as Dominants work to build up. We want to take all the hurt and pain away. We want to guide, we want ours to excel, we want to help with dreams, yes dreams can come true.

I believe most who are submissive will take what is giving bad or good. Most will except the pain, knowing they are being accepted. I just do not understand how a Dominant could not feel guilty after a long session knowing the submissive did not enjoy or get anything out of it.

It has been some twenty years now, my first was a total masochist and after the first session I was really scared and there was something inside me that just felt sicking. I had this load of guilt. Even the second and third session I felt guilty. Then it hit me the pain and humiliation is what she wanted and needed. Does this make it right? That would depend on who you talk to some see it as abuse and at times I saw it as abuse.

After our split it took me some years to realize that not every submissive was like sherri, not everyone needed the pain and humiliation. There were females in the lifestyle that were truly scared of me. What made this worse is other Dominants would praise me because of the recognition I had within the community. At that time it made me feel good but as I grew older and wiser, I knew that was not who I wanted to be known as.

We are all different, Dominants, Tops, Bottoms , slaves Submissive’s, and yes those who switch which I never understood. We all want different relationships, some of those who are submissive, only want to submit while in the bedroom, some only want to submit while at home. Then others want to give up full control. Some want to be punished, some want and need to be spanked and spanked hard, some do not want to be spanked at all. I myself am not physical when it comes to punishment.

As I stated the last thing a submissive or slave wants to do is break a rule. If they start to break rules they are acting out because they feel that they should be getting more attention and will do most anything in order to receive the attention they need even if it means breaking a rule.

I believe instead of being physical you can sit down and talk as adults, at times the submissive is looking for more to happen.

I just do not understand, you have a woman submissive or slave who will lay down and spread at anytime, really willing to do just about anything to keep their owner happy, and for what ever reason the Dominant has the need to abuse.

If anyone can figure this out please let me know, because after twenty plus years I still do not have a clue.



How Far Is To Extreme

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, anal sex, animalistic, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Beatings, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, blindfold, Bound, Consensual, control, controlling, Deception, Discipline, Dominants, extreme, fuck hole, fucking, Kink, kinky, Master, Masters, oral, Pain, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, submissive on June 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Every submissive or slave is different, just as every Dominant is different. The world of BDSM has grown 110% over the last ten years, some for the good but for the most many have strayed away from the traditional D’s and M’s. Today it is mostly about kink. Unlike ten years ago it was not uncommon to see a couple who had been together , 5 10, 15 years or longer.

Today we have moved more into a kink world, nothing is considered long term, just like a vanilla relationship it is easier to pack up and move on to the next in hopes the grass is greener on the other side. When in fact most of the time it is not.

BDSM Bondage, Discipline , Sadomasochism , sadist , and masochist if you will. You can be a sadist and not be a dominant, I have met masochist who were not a slave nor were they submissive, and a D’s relationship would not be adventitious for them, because they are just looking for the pain aspect, could be a alpha outside the bedroom.

When someone is new to the lifestyle if they do not have the right guidance, one can stray off of their path without knowing. Meeting your first Dominant or sadist, because a sadist at times will tell you he is a dominant, as far as he knows he may think he is until it comes to the responsibility part of the relationship. After 3 months 6, or maybe a year you come to realize this is not for you, there is a bad taste in your mouth.

A sadist is just that, very few have the dominant side, the need to inflict pain, more so the need to see your pain through your eyes, that is the rush.

A new submissive or slave to the lifestyle will take most anything that is dished out and then some, be it verbal, mental and yes physical. They will take what ever just to please, hoping to find the one, but most of all acceptance.

Most have been a Slave or submissive all their life, but did not have a clue about the lifestyle or what they are. The sub, or slave just knows they are different, and most do not fit in the average circle of friends, and no one to talk to about their feelings. I have talked to slaves who had feelings at a very young age, early teens. Some find out at a young age then there are late bloomers in their 30’s 40’s and even 50’s.

Most men not just Dominants think with their cock, every 40 or 50 year old dominant wants a 18 year old slave. It can be fun for short term but I have seen very few last. I was the same way so I am speaking from experience. I found I was babysitting much of the time. I am not saying there are not those who are mature at that age, because there are.

I prefer an older slave, someone who has experienced life, someone who is mature. Now it is not to say that if I had not met Arianna it is possible I would of met someone much younger, although that is not what I was looking for in a relationship, we cannot help who we like of fall in love with.

A lot of younger subs or slave prefer older dominants those who have been in the lifestyle for sometime, those with experience. Would a 20 yr old submissive really consider a 20 year old dominant? maybe just maybe but at such a young age what does the dominant really know about the lifestyle, or how to implement structure in someones life, enforce rules, but most of all stay in control, and not be controlling. Just my thoughts you do not have to agree with me.

So you meet a New dominant for the first time. Dinner someplace public. Then you jump in the car and head for the nearest Motel. He ties you up, blindfolds you and the HELL starts, you have never been beating so bad in your life, fucked in every hole even if you had limits in place. The next day you can hardly walk, your black and blue, or worse something is broking. Okay lets say you suck it up, take about a week to heal, your going to either stay away or your going to try it one more time.

To most sadist if he is not looking for a relationship, he is just looking to put another notch in his belt, you were a piece of meat for the night, he busted a nut you went home crying. I am speaking from experience here I am not just running off at the mouth. To many are to eager to please, they could care less if they are pleased. To many are eager to meet someone and allow someone to use them. It many cases the after the fact is to late.

So just how far is to extreme? how far do you really need to go to find the one? better yet how much are you going to take?

I have said before have a list ready, your needs, your do nots, and your limits, and what you expect out of a relationship. Stick to the list do not bend from it. Once you give in your just another notch in someones belt. I know I had one belt I had to replace because there was no room for anymore notches.

Believe me when I say this you can get hurt, you can get hurt bad, and chances are you will not go to the police and explain why you let a stranger tie you up and beat you.

Just think, as your pulling into a denny’s how far is to extreme.



The Feelings Of A Slave

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Beatings, cage, Fear, Fetish, Humiliation, Master, molding your slave, owning a slave, Pain, punish, Punishment, slave, submissive on June 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Having a Slave is one thing, but making one feel like a slave is a different story. Although it is almost impossible to keep that mindset 24/7 there are things that can be done as constant reminders.

I have blogged about some of this before, but when I get a random thought I like to share.

One way is to limit the slaves space within the home, when and where they can sit. Arianna is not allowed on the furniture unless permission is giving. I know your shaking your head, but to be a slave you want that feeling inside and out. The mind is a very powerful machine.So you plant the seed. You limit the slaves space. While home you limit what one wears, how they sit, eat, drink, bathroom. The owner controls everything.

These tactics do not go over so well with those who are submissive, and there may be some slaves who are like what the fuck. The truth is there are so many different levels of BDSM , so many Levels of being a submissive, or slave. Everyone is different, everyone has different needs, kinks and fetishes.

So if out and I hear something that sounds kind of wacky to me, I just think hey it is their kink. So when hearing about others in the lifestyle don’t be so quick to judge. What you like someone else may not. There are many things I do not understand, but I ask questions so I can see where the other is coming from, sometimes I understand and sometimes I do not.

At times Arianna will get relaxed, Hmm maybe snippy, I have Slave positions I use to put her back in that frame of mind, I have never came right out and told her this but she will know here in a few, but I use these positions as a reminder of who the bitch is in the relationship. These positions put her back in that slave frame of mind.

The first 30 days is the hardest when entering a new relationship. The first 30 days is the make it or break it time period. If the Slave is true and has the heart things just fall into place. We as Dominants take bad habits and replace with good habits. It is a very slow process. I believe when entering a M’s relationship it takes about a year for the slave to adjust. It takes that long for the slave to truly know her owner and what is expected.

Everything Arianna does she needs permission, with the exception of being at work, even then when lunch time comes around I get a text with food choices and I decide.

You want to do what ever it takes to keep the slave in that frame of mind. When it comes times to punish I seldom spank. I have had to punish Arianna one time in about 7 months, now she has that fear of messing up. Fear is not always a bad thing, it keeps the slave thinking.  A couple of good punishment Ideas besides spanking.  Pour a cup of rice on the floor and have the slave kneel on it. Ginger root is very effective when inserted anal, I hear it burns really bad. Corner time works very well this gives the slave time to think, corner time nude. Beating is not always the answer, more so if the sub or slave enjoys pain. I myself find slave positions to be way more effective. On knees bent over hands on ass spreading apart everything is exposed. I have been told it is very humiliating.

Ask permission to enter the bed, before entering strip, besides that time of the month. Why nude? I may get that urge to just roll over and hit it. Sleeping nude or keeping one nude while at home keeps the slave humble, in most cases not all, it depends on the slaves personality.

We have a huge Dog crate, that I am going to start using tomorrow. Big enough to sit in and turn around in. Even big enough to lay down in curled up.

Owning a Slave is one thing but keeping them in that frame of mind is another more so if you live M’s 24/7. A lot of work in the beginning but after about 3 months or so things just start to fall into place. What was hard for the slave has now became a habit, it is not even a thought any longer.

So in the cage, hands tied above head, and gagged. I am sure I could find something to do for about an hour.



Abuse A Fine Line

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Beatings, masochist, relationships, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe Word, serve, session, sex, slave, Spanking, Stressed, submissive on June 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

When it comes to the world of BDSM , many women new to the lifestyle see pain as a huge part of the lifestyle. This is not true. The fact is many women will take most anything if they feel they are pleasing, and the regret comes a few hours later when everything sets in, the hurting, the dark bruises, the pain while in a session.

I remember the first time I left sherri’s I was scared to death. She was black and blue from the neck down, and some of the bruises were bleeding a little. I had used a belt, a 5 pound flogger, and a single tail whip. I remember seeing her pussy juices running down her leg, and with every strike of the single tail she would cum.

I was sitting in my car, thinking what the fuck have I done. This was my first real experience, with a masochist. I was thinking what if she called the cops, how could I possibly explain that. Well officer she wanted me to beat her, WOW.

My first slave, my first real pain slut, like Bea she was a cutter, it was a way to release pain, I did not really understand at that point and time, but I do now. I also know now that the pain that is needed can be controlled through an M’s relationship.

Many women will take what ever their dominant can dish out and then some. Having the need to please or just looking for acceptance, and the need for love.

Many Dominants will dish it out, and get off on it just as I did while in a relationship with sherri. This is where communication comes into play. The Dominant should and needs to be sure this is a need and not just a want when it comes to pleasing. I myself know that if my partner is not getting any pleasure out of what I am doing, then I am not going to get anything out of it.

Just like my Ex wife, she allowed me to spank her a couple of times, but she thought it was stupid, so it did nothing for me. I felt guilty doing things to her because I knew she was doing it just to please. After I came clean about who and what I was, then I was asked to move out.

To this day Arianna has the thought that I have the need for pain, which is not true. I do get a little rough at times, which is my right, but I would never hurt. Arianna is for my pleasure, at times I could give a fuck if she cums or not, then there are times when I am very pleasing.If I need something I am going to do it, without asking. I have told her several times go to the bed and spread, I get mine and go about my business.

Pain is not a need for me, when I was younger and just learning, I got off on it, but after a time it became more like a job, and I had lost what seemed to be fun, it was now work, because sherri was getting off on the pain and I really got nothing out of it.

So how does one feel Being Dominant and causing much pain, knowing the submissive does not enjoy it, but is doing just to please. Does it really make you feel like the bigger man, or does it make you feel like a complete asshole.

You talk the talk once at work or out with friends on how you beat some bitches ass, and you knew she was going to be sore for a month. It would be different if you the dickhead was on the receiving end.

Then again some women get off on abuse some have that need, even in vanilla relationships. I went to the store some time ago and I pulled in and a girl was sitting in her car maybe 20, 25, her eyes was black and her lip was swollen. When I walked in the store her BF or husband was trying to get beer on credit, but you know she did not leave him, she was still there through thick and thin, for better or worse.

I guess beating some bitches ass makes one feel like the bigger man. Even during a session abuse can take place and the slave or submissive is thinking this is what it is suppose to be like, so I need to learn to take more pain so I can please.

Although there are many different levels of BDSM, and the world of S & M that is only a small percentage of the lifestyle. Most is based on D’s and service, be it sexual or just being there.

You as the submissive has the right to say hey wait a fucking minute, what the fuck are you doing? Never think you do not have the right to question, it is your body.



It Is Okay Not To Punish

Posted in bdsm, Beatings, punish, Punishment, slave, Spanking, submissive on April 12, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Yes those words are coming from me. Rules will be broken, most of the time when a rule is broken it is a simple mistake, other times is a Submissive or Slave is not getting the attention they believe they should be getting, they will break rules on purpose just to get the attention even if it means hardcore punishment.

You can tell if it was a simple mistake, maybe forgotten. The answer is not always a beating, after a while this has little to no effect on the Sub or Slave.

The master showing he is displeased has a far more reaction, and really hits below the belt. Just showing how displeased you are, or maybe taking it one step farther, the ignore factor. The Sub or Slave will have an overwhelming feeling of guilt. This is way more effective than most different types of punishments I could come up with.

I now feel bad and at times even guilty if I have to punish, it is not something I look forward to, but if I did not follow through with punishment, then Arianna would begin to lose that respect. I can tell you from experience once you lose respect it is almost impossible to take back control. The relationship is basically over. Just kick yourself in the ass and move on..