Archive for the adapting Category

Training On Different Levels

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, Dominant and Submissive,,, Master And Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, TPE, Training Arianna with tags , , , , , , , on March 7, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was just reading a Blog By Master P.

The topic was BDSM Training-Methodology and Techniques
Before you start ranting I am not totally disagreeing with him but I find to have a different opinion one a few topics. is based one a Master , Slave relationship, it is based on a owner property relationship , it is based on a TPE relationship , Total Power Exchange. If you put these all together I control everything and while I do listen I have the final say.
Again I agree with Most of what Master P is talking about but we are talking about two different relationships. Dominant , submissive , Master And Slave and there by definition is a clear difference.
Behavior modification is changing ones way of thinking, in a good scenario this can be done willingly or forced that would be totally breaking someones will.
Although most training is done to fit the Masters needs there are other things we look at , changing bad habit into good ones.
I did train for service , I did so because I have protocols that I want followed when company is over. I have protocols for private and public, I have different stages of protocols and each one is used depending on the setting.
So I was just thinking about why men cheat be it vanilla , D’s and I do know Doms who cheat , hell Ive known Master who cheated.
So when finding a partner why not find someone you can train to make you complete.
I am in no way saying Master P is wrong with what he is saying it just proves that we are all different in the way we think , act, and train. Our train of thought is different , more so our needs.
Although a Master puts his slave first she is there to fit his needs and wants and the Master insures the Slaves needs are met on a daily basis.
When looking for a partner you should take your time and find someone you can connect with on every level in life. You should be able to communicate on every level and be able to speak freely and openly.
Training is something I take very serious and now I will only take on such a task if it is to be a long term. I also make it known it will be a slow process it is not something where I meet you on Monday and Tuesday we both jump head first..
Putting a plan together is needed before hand , what worked for the last slave will not work for the next.The same with rules although my protocols have never changed over the years if anything I have become more strict.
With the submissive , the submissive accepts and strives for submission a slave strives for Obedience.

Submission Vs Slave

Best Slave Training if your a new Dominant , or submissive , slave there is a ton of useful information. There is not one website or book you can base your relationship on but you can take bits and pieces and come up with a plan.
In my opinion, a submissive retains freedom of choice and a slave gives her freedom of choice to her Master. A submissive makes a choice to give her submission in a limited fashion, for a defined period of time and under certain conditions. A submissive can have a long-term relationship with a Master, but still retains certain controls. However, many are satisfied with casual role-play without any long-term goals. Training may or may not be involved between a Dominant and a submissive.
A submissive often has a list of conditions, rules, and limits that a Dominant is required to agree to before entering a session or relationship. These conditions, rules and limits usually define time, place and activity.
Slavery calls for a higher level of commitment and of serving, obeying and pleasing than submission. Slavery is the complete commitment of a slave’s body, mind, soul, and spirit. She submits to the will of her Master. His choices become her choices. Obedience is a major focus in her life.
Being a slave means you are willing to be molded to fit her Master’s needs and to serve him. A slave is re-socialized and re-educated by her Master to serve, obey and please him. Her attention is on his happiness.

Submission Vs Slave

The Master makes his slave his number one priority , even when it comes to friends and family. The Master insures the slaves needs are taken care of , even on a emotional and mental state.
While in some D’s relationship as stated above there may or may not be any type of training , what is important is you have found your place in life and your relationship.
Some thought my training strategy was a little strict , or maybe even a little unorthodox, but I am me and I was not going to change who or what I was . I did just that before and I failed..
Once you give your word you cannot go back or try to change anything when it comes to rules or protocols.
Again Master P is not wrong with what he is saying but we are talking about 2 different lifestyles.
I will give you a peak into Airanna’s mind she had dropped me off at a store and I told her to circle and pick me up when I was ready. She was texting with someone and she explained she was in service, this is just one example but her train of thought.
I enjoy the training , I love watching the transformation, I love creating but this comes with a cost, and that cost is Arianna and her well being is my responsibility, The decisions I make greatly effect two and not one. Yes this is where choices and consequences come into play…
It is the slave that has to adapt to the Masters way, if your having problems then sit back and think of what could be improved on

What It Takes To Be A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, control, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head,,, kinky, Master And Slave, owning a slave, relationships, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, with tags , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.



Sex and Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Bondage Cuffs, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head,, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, sex, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world of BDSM is much different that=n the vanilla world, the little flirts , the long love making sessions , the caressing the I love you’s. The comes the no I am not doing anal , no I am not sucking your dick, or I do not swallow.

If you as a submissive look back on your vanilla dating and look at now there is a clear different.

In the vanilla world if you acted kinky you were a slut , so as we grew older we tended to hide our kink, until it was no longer controllable..

It takes time to get adjusted in the lifestyle we make many mistakes and mistakes we wish we had never made , but as long as you learn and you keep moving forward there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although most when thinking about submission the word sex comes up, most think sex is the biggest part of the lifestyle and to many it is , but it really runs much deeper.

Submission being able to get into the mind and just walk around and check things out, being able to do silly mind fucks. Being able to understand the way your submissive or slave thinks, why they think the way they do, what makes them think?

Being in control , most who say they have limits when it comes to giving up control in a stable relationship the limits will slowly fade.

Sir Franco Bolli @  Made the following comment

..It is my personal experience that it is not so easy to find a partner who is compatible. Having found an almost perfect match is a true blessing.

The above statement is very true , this is why it is important you do not jump into the first frying pan. Being compatible means everything including outside of the bedroom on your back or on your knees.

If your going into a D’s or M’s relationship and your soul purpose is to be a used fuck toy then you need to have that understanding and both have to be on the same page.

Most of the time when you enter a new relationship everything for the first week or month is good, but then something happens you become more clingy , more needy you want to give up more control but your dom is not on board? This is when you communicate your needs. If you fear speaking what is on your mind then your in the wrong relationship, or if you do and your Dom is not on board then again your in the wrong relationship.

BDSM has really change so much over the past 10  years , today it is more of a kink than a lifestyle , most are only bedroom and that is fine if it works for you.

I do not have a switch I can turn on and off, at times it would be nice but as of right now I am in a good place , life is good.

BDSM today is more of a sexual based than anything , for the most it is just about sucking cock and fucking and very little to do with the D’s or M’s side of things.

I like the control , I need the control and not just in the bedroom. I need a very structured home , I need protocols in place as well as some rules. The truth is if you have the first two in place very few rules are needed. once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance and communication.

I love sex but sex is on my terms, I love the kink but on my terms, I love bondage and at times extreme bondage again on my terms. I have the final say in our home , be it from dinner going out or even when and where money is spent.

That is why when meeting someone new it is very important to be on the same page. Before entering any type of relationship both needs to know what is expected of each other and where both want to be and what part each will take on.

The submission is earned it cannot be demanded , it is earned by earning respect , and being who and what you say you are.

Control is in the mind , submission is in the mind , although being physical is good , it does not take being physical to earn ones submission. You cannot earn ones submission through intimidation those types of relationships are short lived.

Being compatible when it comes to sex is very important , sticking to your limits is very important , finding someone who respects your limits is a must.

As in any D’s or M’s relationship a great deal of time has to be invested, time invested from both not just one.

If you the slave or submissive are going to lay on your back or get on your knees then you should get something out of the relationship. It should be more than just fucking or sucking , or the Dom trying to find out how much pain you can take.

What do you want to do with your one life.

This set was custom made for Arianna by my good friend Jon. We received them yesterday and I have never seen such quality….








Posted in 24/7, adapting, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook., human trafficking, Humiliation, Manipulation, Master and slave relationship, pedophile, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Uncategorized on December 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Only when you step into a relationship you fully understand can you consent.

There are two forms of No, the word its self and the look. It is up to the Dominant to know when no means no , it does not have to be verbal.

Someone I have never liked because I saw right through him was Michael Makai who has a couple of Books on BDSM relationships , and who is someone who does not follow his own teachings.

One of the books called Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook , is a total farce , someone giving advice and not being able to follow what he has written.

At the age of 17 years old you cannot consent , a 17 year old is a child , and it does not stop there in some cases 18 or 19 depends on the maturity.

So in the end we had a total fake in the lifestyle making fun of those who did buy into his thoughts.

I can imagine there are some running for their lives , wondering if they may have said something or even had contact.

Even as an adult if you do not have a full understanding when entering a relationship , and you have not been able to fully communicate there is no way you could truly consent.

Fully understanding who and what you are will determine if you can fully consent. Knowing exactly what you need and why you need it will determine if you can truly consent.

I have been asked if you can find a partner on Fetlife ? My answer was sure you can but look to the left at the groups they belong to.

If the groups are cum sluts , face fucking whores , Humiliation Nation, and there are no local groups or Munchs he is active in , then just click on the X.

What are you consenting to ? What rules are you consenting to? What type of play are you consenting to ? What type of pain are you consenting to if any? What part do you want to take part in the relationship ? Are you giving up full control ? Are you just a bedroom submissive ? Are you going to consent to sending nudes of you ?

You have to know what it is you need and the type of relationship you need, you have to know what type of Dominant your looking for to fit your needs.

Some misinformation in the Michael Makai news paper reports saying he had climbed to a leader in the BDSM lifestyle which is a total lie, to my knowledge he never attended and local Munchs or functions , it was all about his book and then the coloring book. He was and is a nobody…

There is a huge misconception about the lifestyle and people like Michael Makai sets us back another hundred years.

BDSM is not about abuse but it is portrayed as abuse , manipulation , pain , and being used. Even when you try to truly explain your relationship the tree huggers just cannot comprehend how someone would want to be treated in such a way…

Be careful and safe think with a clear mind , but most of all be who and what you are…

Make no Mistake Michael Mikai is no Dominant , he is not Master , He is no Leader in the BDSM community , he is pedophile.


Am I Really Just Fucked Up ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, relationships, Slave, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on December 12, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was reading a Blog Post on

A lot of what I read reminded me of my past , I knew what I was but had no clue who I was, or how to organize myself.

It was not until my mid twenty’s I started to think something was wrong with me. Maybe deep inside I was somewhat psychotic , maybe demented, not knowing the word that related to me was Sadist.

I saw my first shrink I think I was 22 years old a military shrink but I found it hard to open up because this so called Doctor was in no way interested in what I had to say, nor did he really have any valuable input on where my feelings were coming from or why I thought the way I did.

I was or am a huge fan of tight bondage , extreme bondage, but here recently work has kelp me at bay.

When dating in my twenty’s I knew it would be one date or 3 max, the max is when I would cut ties, because I was finished using. The hunt was complete , then the attack, and the conquer , Bam I was done total victory..  There was no place else to go, each date each slave or a slave in my eyes was a different experiment an object or property as long as I wanted to keep her around, although most ditched me on their own free wheel. Many right after our play time, some not even fully dressed while heading out the door.

Their humiliation was my pleasure, their pain was my pleasure, breaking their will down, was my pleasure, and crying was the greatest gift.

When tying someone I knew I was not there until I heard that grunt, only a grunt because she was gagged. I never pulled on the rope , I yanked pulling gave no grunt, pulling never gave me the fear in the eyes.

As darkgemdom stated the snot and the saliva running down her face  dripping onto the floor , I received great pleasure.

I saw nothing wrong with putting someone on their knees , tying their hands behind their back, and face fucking until she puked , crying trying to get away, fucking her face until I shot my load down her throat.

Humiliation was my goal , it was not something I planned because each was different, each acted a different way.

Tied up in a little ball on the bed with the ass and pussy just hanging over a little so both holes were exposed, both holes being available, and most times I did not require lube for ass fucking, again their pain my pleasure.

It was not about blow Jobs , it was not about the pussy or ass , it was about the control , the humiliation , sitting back and looking at a submissive who looked so helpless. Using as I saw fit , degrading , and then tossing to the side.

Today I am much different because I want more , much more. I needed that stability , the security , and the knowing and the control.

If things are explained in detail and the sub or slave knows what is expected and allowed to speak , the flow goes much smoother.

Today I stand Arianna has been punished one time and one time only. This is due to our communication….

So what I found out I was not fucked up , I was in the learning stage, I was gaining experience, I was learning how to fill the role I wanted to fill..




Your Purpose Is To Be Used

Posted in 24/7, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, communication, compatibility, control, Dominant, slave, Slave being used, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, sucking dick, on August 15, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Fetlife something that just kills me is to see all of the complaining and whining about Daddy Doms, Doms, and Masters. Can my Master do this or that ? Can my Dom treat me this way ? Are these rules fair?

A few thoughts come to mind , one a Lack of communication , a lack of respect , a lack of training a lack of protocol and a lack of not giving a fuck about bashing his name in front of people you don’t even fucking know. My main thought that comes to mind is Bitch ask your Dom.

You as the Baby girl , the submissive or slave did not enter a relationship blindly . I am almost certain at some point and time during your conversation when you first met there was one word that stood out. USED , you were told at some point you were going to be used. You were told you would be trained, you were told you would have rules, you were told you would follow them , and you were told you would be punished.

Now if you did not ask questions and you sat there like some dumb bitch just agreeing and going along with what ever, then you keep your cock sucker shut.

My train of thought is first and for most Arianna is my slave , I own her and deep down I truly believe that statement.  While I do love her with all I have , while I put her first, I own her , we live a 24/7 Total Power Exchange, a relationship many do not understand and you do not have to, you don’t even have to like or respect me, you don’t even have to understand.

The initialism BDSM includes psychological and physiological facets

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Bondage and Discipline (B&D)
Dominant and submissive (D/s)
Sadism and Masochism (or sadomasochism) (S&M)
Master and slave (M/s)

The term be careful what you ask for should be your main focus , because many of you signed up and it was nothing like you imagined , and your Dom is not the one to blame… It is you and only you who has to adapt to your new surroundings. It is you who will be trained not your Dominant.

We attended a MAsT Friday night we had not been able to make one in several months due to my work. I do work from home it mostly has its ups but it also has its downs, at any rate I love it.
Being out allowed me to be around very close friends and I also met a few new ones. The topic was a good one , it was Topping From The Bottom. That will be an awesome post.

Okay I am not sure there are many who are submissive or Baby girls, and even those who think they are a slave, who enter a relationship without a clear picture. Then Bam it hits you like a Brick wall and your thinking what the fuck have I gotten myself into.

Why do some Dominants cheat ? Why do some Dominants go behind their partners back ? I do not have a clue , I suppose if the training was not real, or maybe he did not know what he was doing. Because if he had trained to fit his needs there would be no cheating and no need to.

You may be a partner a lover a submissive , a baby girl, what ever category you fall in , but the bottom line is you are meant to be used. Used to play with, used to fuck, suck what ever your Dominant needs , no questions asked.

If you are having problems in your relationship , sit down and think about resistance you may be putting up , you may or may not know. If you put up a lot of resistance during and after training ask yourself what you can do to make things better, how can you improve things?

One of the subjects I like to talk about or a couple , is Rules , Structure , and Protocols. If you have the last two in place , you will not need very many rules. Structure is putting rules into play as well as protocols for public and private…

If both agree to all terms before entering a relationship , there is no reason to cheat. If the Dominant you meet loves ass fucking and that is a hard limit, then you just need to shake hands and go separate ways. you have a mental list or maybe a written one, as you go down your list each topic should have a check, if it has an X then you can talk about it or just end.

What is your role going to be ? Submissive , Baby Girl , Slave , a pet ? Are you going to be an in-service submissive? Are you going to be used as a sexual toy ? There are a million in one questions to be asked and answered.

To fill my needs and wants I trained Arianna. The way I like my cock sucked, the way I like her to lay while I am fucking her. Before all of this though I had to earn her trust and as I stated before that took me some 6 months, maybe a little longer.

You have to be in the right frame of mind , okay I am going to be cared for but I am going to be used and used a lot. You have to take your training serious…

The main problem going into a D’s or M’s relationship if your new , is getting use to Rules, being told what to do and how to do it, also some go into the new relationship blind not having a clue.

The one mistake I made in the past was not keeping that frame of mind, my slave, my property , for my use. I found this to be hard as a Dominant when I had very little experience, at times I would let my feelings get in the way..

Just a few of my thoughts…


My email is


Being Masters Slut

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, choices and consequences, communication, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, consequences, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owned property, slave, slut, submissive, Submissive being used, Total Power Exchange, TPE, on August 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many hate those words , Slut , whore , Bitch , and many more but in our lifestyle to most those are really just pet names.

Each role in the lifestyle is different , each relationship is different , and the way you are treated is different.

Every Master is different , every house is ran different. I myself run a very strict home , but what is so awesome is the way Arianna has adapted to my surroundings , she has giving 150% and 150% 24/7…

Over the years my idea of owning a slave has changed, the way I wanted to train, the protocols I wanted, the control, but most of all the control. Although in the past in other relationships I had pretty much the same one thing always happened. I changed, I let my  feelings get in the way thus losing my control and respect.

About 5 years ago I went on what I will call a short sabbatical , I had a little depression going on or maybe just a lack of caring. I did not want to be around anyone , talk to anyone or see anyone. I needed time to get my life back on track and figure out what I wanted out of life.

I did know the way I was feeling and thinking it would not be fair to bring someone into my mess.. This was the time I had made contact with some people who was in the lifestyle in the Philippines. I had my passport in hand and already landed a job.

I met a slave and we played for about 6 months, I knew it was going no place nor did I want it to, I was still moving, then came the day I found out she was married and I cut all ties. I was not going to be responsible for her family breaking up if there was in fact any hope..

So I was introduced to Arianna and I have told the story more than once. After I first meeting I was intrigued and now I had some serious soul searching to do.

I knew what I wanted and needed it was finding someone who would fit my lifestyle and almost 3 years Later that would be Arianna , and today we continue to grow and expand our relationship as she moves deeper into submission.

I wanted a consensual non consensual relationship , many Dominants told me it would be impossible to find such a slave. I wanted full control, again I was told the same, and in the end all were proven wrong.

In order for me to get what I wanted I had to be willing to give back and many times I am giving back much more.

I am far from the romantic type although there are things I do that shows my appreciation. I am not one to buy gifts or flowers. This has been me for as long as I can remember.

I can tell you from an Owners perspective the Dominant has to keep the frame of mind that his partner is there for his use. Before anything the submissive is owned , they are property , they are there for pleasure and only pleasure. Once you lose that train of thought you the Dominant will lose control and respect. Once you show a different side you cannot go back because that thought is always there….

So as I mentioned I am moving in a different direction. Sometime ago I was asked to do a short story , which I did and it got one comment.
I went deep in my thoughts and while the story may or may not be true, thoughts as such do pass through my mind.
Total control, total usage no questions asked.
The Breaking Of Sabrina was meant to be one of many stories and some day they may come to light, I have not really gave it much thought.

Back on track now when most think about BDSM most see abuse , most see the female or male being abuse. My train of thought is there is such a thing called consensual abuse, consensual usage, consensual ownership.

The Non consensual side is a different story…

Life is full of choices which door are you going to take?


Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.



What Type Of Submissive Are You.

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Structure, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, Submissive kitten, The Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive's, What type of submissive are you on July 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

On 12/23/2012 , Wow time really flies when your having fun yes ?

I found a article on tumbler that caught my eye , although I may not agree with everything , I do agree with most. In our lifestyle it is really hard to pin point who and what we are , mainly because we are revolving on a regular basis , daily , weekly , monthly and so on.

I think it would be hard to give a full description of who and what you are when it comes to the lifestyle. One thing that is for sure is you are who you are and you need someone who is a perfect fit.

The post is called The Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive’s

Type one would be the Little Girl Submissive , please not this has nothing to do with incest or Pedophilia, it is a personality , but there are some who find this type of relationship offensive. I know in the past I have spoken to subs and slaves and when I just brought up the topic the conversation was over.

Second was the Tame me submissive which I find to be bogus  , this is a mindset a submissive will have after doing some reading or speaking with others who are submissive. The truth is not many Dominants will put up with such attitudes.

Type Three: The “SAM” Submissive – A “SAM” type submissive, also known as a Smart-Assed Masochist, is just that, a smart-talking submissive with a quick tongue. Again this type of attitude I believe is short lived , because there are not many Dominants who will put up with this type of attitude.

Type Four: The “Brat” – The “brat” is different from the tame me type and the SAM type in the fact that they are overly-aggressive, smart-mouthed and frequently rude, they have no intentions of submitting to anyone’s authority or discipline, except that of their partner. This fact, however, does not stop the brat from continuously harassing every dominant and most submissives with which she comes into contact. This type is very rare and again there are not many who will put up with such an attitude. These types of relationships are short lived…

Type Five: The “My Master is God” Submissive – Also known as they “I have a master and you don’t! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah” type of submissive. These submissives are of the opinion that their masters can do absolutely no wrong and that their master’s word is as good as law and that their masters know everything there is to know about everything. The “My Master is God” type of submissive frequently spends inordinate amounts of time talking about their masters..
Okay I cannot think of anything to add here…

Type Six: The “I am Slave, Hear Me Roar!” Submissive – These are absolute, prodigious, epitome of any submissive type. Don’t call the “I am Slave” type a submissive, though, they don’t like that very much. In these slaves’ opinions, there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit.
Okay these are those who think their way is the only way….

Type Seven: The “True” Submissive – The “true” submissive is often the culmination of the desires of every dominant figure around this person. The “true” submissive is often shy, under spoken, docile, servile and absolutely willing to do anything asked of her. The true submissive is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the dominant figures around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations. The true submissive is frequently inexperienced, untaught and looking to be pleasing by being perceived as the ‘expected’ norm that a submissive should be.

I am going to edit this to the True Slave. Seven describes Arianna to a T, as a matter of fact when I first read this , It made me think of her.

So we all have labels , some have titles, some want a label but are unsure where they fall within the lifestyle.

Just as there are different types of submissive’s and Slaves there are different types of Dominants each has their own role in their life and the lifestyle, each has different responsibility’s and each has different levels of care. All Dominants are different , some are strict , while others are not. Some are more physical , others are not.

I was speaking with a Dominant not long ago and he told me he was a sensual Dominant , and I had to ask , what the fuck is a sensual Dominant ? His Ball Park his Game.

A submissive had said something about going into sub-space and her Top was not there for her. While I do somewhat feel bad , I had to explain he is a Top and not a Dominant , there is a huge , huge difference. A Top is Dominant in most cases during play or maybe not even dominant, but once the play is over and finished so is his role, hes done… There is no reason to be upset at the Top….

If your going to play outside of a relationship your head has to be in the right place. Playing I mean with someone you know and trust. The closer the connection the more likely your going to experience Sub-drop if your going home alone.

Dominants while I have heard of Dom drop I have never experienced it myself. I am not saying it cannot happen it has just never happened to me. In some ways I could understand how it could happen but in other ways I cannot.

While you may put a label on what type of personality you have , once your in a relationship and you are trained your Dominant or owner will define who and what you are.

A submissive contacted me who said she was a brat who is rebellious and was hard to handle , no when I add those two together it equals Bitch wanting your way…

People are to quick to judge when they do not understand something , or some may think their way is the only way, when in fact that is false.




Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Trust, Choices, compatibility, consequences, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on July 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

How long does it take to build trust in someone ? A day ? Three days ? A Week ? A Month ? Six Months ? I mean really trust, what is the amount of time for someone to how their true colors ? What if you have been stepped on, beaten down like a wet dog ? What if you have been cheated on ? What if you have been abused , maybe physically , maybe mentally , maybe verbally , or maybe just flat out lied to , how long does it take to trust in any relationship Vanilla , D’s Or M’s how long does it take ?

What if your what I call a relationship jumper , how long does it take you to build trust ? What if you move from one abusive relationship to another , how long does it take you to trust ?

What if your being hit or beaten on a daily basis , where does the trust come into play ? I wonder at times what goes through the minds of abusive women and men as well ?

How long does it take to trust ? I know one thing for sure if your able to trust you will give more of yourself , you will feel more open.

How long does it take to trust someone if your going to scene with someone ? Tie you up ? Place you in handcuffs ? I would imagine the trust would have to be pretty deep would it not ?

Like many of you I have been played and I have been played hard , until I learned from my mistakes. Mistakes are okay as long as you learn from them.
Insanity is making the same mistake over and over again expecting different results. I also learned to pick up on the fakes , the game players. The game players I suppose some do not even know they are playing a game , being use to using people.
You turn the tables and it is a whole different ball game. If your playing a game you have to know the rules, if you don’t you lose. Once your on the pitchers mound your in control, you control where the ball goes. Your not trying to play them your just putting up blocks.

You never want to lay out all of your cards once you show your whole hand your pretty much done , you need that control , you need to keep them guessing after all it is trust your trying to build.

Many have walls that are put up , I have a series of doors, as you gain access to each door you gain a little more trust. I can tell you very few have made it to the last door, I let very few people in, maybe a glance or a peak but never fully. Arianna has full access I suppose I trust her and I trust without question or thought.

Surely there has to be trust if your going to get on your knees and suck cock, or lay on your back and spread. I would think even more so if you allow someone to tie you up.

I have said this before life revolves around two things choices and consequences , you are in full control.