Welcome to my world. I have been in the Lifestyle for some twenty years and have been active in the community as long.

I am married to my Slave Arianna who is my life and world. I am very out spoken, and I believe in the truth and nothing but the truth.

Feel free to comment or ask questions. I have a huge heart for those who are submissive.

Most of my blog will be about safety and just some of my thoughts.

Hope you enjoy



63 Responses to “About”

  1. Hi,
    Seen you around a few friends blog and came to check you out. 🙂

  2. http://wereallmadinhere.wordpress.com/recognition/
    I nominated your blog for the Reader Appreciation Award!

  3. just love your site..as a new sub..makes so much sense. Thank you Vile

  4. Yes you are outspoken..but i like the way you speak out for the sub or slave too..

  5. A D’s relationship with the right Dominant can truly be incredible.

  6. Yes..I did not develop an interest until I hit my 40’s and although i had enjoyed being spanked at times, it was nothing compared to being with a Dominant and enjoying the real feeling and need behind it. No more pretend spanks for me!

  7. That is funny yes you are right..

  8. I discovered you through another blog and came to see your world…looking forward to reading more….(also “new” to D/s but have been seeking a Sir for nearly 3 years…not an easy task for sure…)

  9. Read about my poly experience

  10. Really Wow. I truly appreciate you. You are an awesome woman. I did miss you when you were gone..
    Thank you….

  11. Vile,
    I continue to enjoy reading your blog. It has inspired me to start my own.
    Thank you

  12. Vile,

    Butterfly said I should checl out your blog. I am glad that she did.

    • Thank you for following, feel free to add comments or ask questions. Butterfly is an awesome woman. Really incredible. Sometimes I get off track, get kinda wild. Most of all I am truthful to the T. Which seems to offend a lot of people, but if you lie they wonder why…
      Much Love

  13. I was looking for a way to privately email you but was unable to do so with the version present on my phone. I have been following your blog for a few months now and enjoy it very much. One thing that I wanted to comment on was Arianna’s difficulty finding/keeping friends in the lifestyle. My Master has encouraged me to do the same and I have had a difficult time doing so via FetLife and lack of good local groups. I would really like to talk to you more in depth about this, privately, and maybe, if it is a good fit, would like to email with Arianna. I don’t think I am local to you so I’m sure it would be just an online friendship but it would really be nice to talk to someone who is more experienced in a lifestyle that my husband and I are striving towards as well as a generally level-headed and not a flake of a person.
    My generic email is attached to this comment for privacy purposes. Thank you

  14. Kathy Lewis Says:

    Hello Vile Sir,

    I was asked a question that I thought you would be able to answer. What 5 pieces of advice would you give a new Dom?

    Thank you.


    • First find a good mentor. Get out and find local functions such as munchs no sex parties
      Learn to manage time. Learn what rules are for and why they are needed.
      Learn to communicate that is very important.

  15. I wanted to ask your advice, or opinion, on a situation that I am in. There’s this “daddy dom” that I have recently met and hooked up with, though we’ve made nothing concrete about our relationship. I am a very respectful little as far as titles go-I call them by their preferred title regardless of relationship. Anyway, he keeps speaking in terms as if I were his, and saying he wants to watch me with other men of his choosing and gang bangs and other things he knows I’m definitely NOT comfortable with, but he doesn’t seem to care. I really enjoy and value your blog entries and the advice you give, so I was wondering your opinion on this. Thank you in advance…I apologize for the length.

    • Hey I hope your doing okay.

      You know I blogged about the same thing not long ago. A young girl was in a gang bang and only doing it to please her Dom. I stopped it and gave her a ride home.

      Someone who really cares about you and has your best interest in mind would never ask you to par take in such activities. It is more of a control issue.
      Things are not the same as they were 30 years ago. If you caught something you could get a shot, today it could be a death sentence.

      The talking like he owns you is part of the control thing, if you go along with him the more control he will try to assert.
      It is a mind thing, speaking in the present not the future.

      You want someone who wants to be with you and only you.
      You can put your foot down and just say no. If he gets mad then you know he really does not care.

      You are not a slave, you have limits and they should be respected, and he should respect your limits as well.

      You are in full control of the situation until you choose to submit, until then the ball is in your court.
      Do not be afraid to say NO.
      Much Love

    • Just read what you wrote me, your answer is there.

  16. Vile, I have just recently discovered your blog. I am a new Master. I use that term lightly as I really am not very experienced in M/s. My wife is who has turned me on to the lifestlye. Before her I had no idea how in depth the lifestyle went or really that something this precious even existed. I do know I need to find a mentor but I’m not very sure of what I will be able to find in my area yet. I am finding that a lot of your ideals fall in line with what I am wanting in our relationship. I just could really use some competent information if you had any you could give me specifically. Like you have mentioned before a lot of what I am finding in my research are the 50 shades types of people. You are one of the first I have found that actually can tell what goes into making a sturdy foundation to build upon. I will continue to read your blogs but any additional information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

    • You have a lot of awesome questions there Brandon.

      You have to picture in your mind what you want your relationship to look like.

      There are books and other materials out here but there is not one thing that will tell you how to run your relationship.

      Structure is needed as well as guidelines , rules as well but not to many you do not want to over whelm your slave, protocols how you want her to act at home and in public.

      A lot of experimenting Brandon, the two of you have to find your own fit if that makes sense.
      Please feel free to ask questions..
      Thank you for topping by

  17. All these posts are so well written. Going to learn a lot from here before I start getting into a real d/s relationship. I need to be mentally ready to take on the responsibility.

  18. This blog of yours is amazing and so helpful!!! Thanks!

  19. Hello,
    I read a blog you posted about sensory deprivation, I what to do this with my sub. I just want someone experienced in that area to Q&A with. If you could message me on fet life and give me some pointers and cautions. My fet name is “joshp689”

    Thank you in advanced

  20. My ex-Dom had changed my password …How do I get into my registry to change my status and take him off ..
    Thank you

  21. Anonymous Newbie Says:

    Mr Vile

    First off I apologize for posting anonymously due to my job and not knowing you I must. Not that your not trustworthy I’m just cautious.
    If I haven’t offended you I would like to tell you how educational I have found your blog. So much so I feel like I could reach out to you for assistance.
    I am new and finding my way I have met some wonderful people at coffees and at a local dungeon.
    I have some questions and need some help understanding a few things.
    If you have the time and interest I would appreciate your input and guidance.

    Thanking you in advance for your time reading this email

  22. Mr.Vile I come across your Web site over a year ago have really enjoyed reading your post I’m 58 years old white male married for 22 years to the 3rd wife just telling you that so you know a little about me no special reason lol. Boy have you really open my eyes to your lifestyle I take my hat off to you your lifestyle is a lot of work at one time I had thought about how this lifestyle would be like but to be true fully it seem like a lot of fucking work now keep in mine I’m just a redneck when I ask these questions. (1) do you not ever get tired of being ask all those questions like can i eat now,can I get in the bed,can I go pee and so on looks like that would get old remember just asking in no way judging (2) I get the part you like to see your wife nude but again how she fixes her hair what she puts on, I kind of get her part she needs that in her life but say you go on a deer hunting trip for a week without her do you leave a list or does she wing it, I could go on and on but you kind of get what I’m asking it’s just a hell of a lot of work and time and I’m not saying it’s not worth it but does the thought ever cross your mine like this woman can’t think of shit on her own or shut the fuck up quite asking so many dam questions lol because I’m not in a relationship like you have but mine ask me enough shit anyway will thinks for your time please keep writing and hope your and your wife live to be a 100

    • Thank you for stopping by, questions are good.
      Lets look at it this way, you find a 1967 camaro in a barn and you want to refurbish it and you want it done your way, you have a vision.
      So you begin work , stripping it down and slowly rebuilding to fit your needs, then at last you have the perfect car. You have to admit you would appreciate it much more if you do the restoring.
      The submissive or slave is the same you are restoring someone to fit your needs..
      It sounds complicated but it really is not.
      Everything we do in life is a habit , some good some bad but still a habit.
      Even when yours is asking permission it becomes a habit and it keeps them in that state of mind it is a reminder.
      Deer hunting wow I have not been in years , it use to be a yearly ritual in north GA.
      Arianna and I have never been apart but if I did leave yes there would be a detailed list….
      My email is viledesires62@aol.com

  23. I have found your blog at the perfect time in my life. I very much want, and need, this Lifestyle and to be owned. I have someone who I have been with for 3-4 weeks. And he has turned my world upside down showing me parts of myse I did not know existed. He has had a family emergency….and has pretty much stopped most communication. I am scared to death and really out of sorts. Even though we haven’t been together long, I see that I NEED a TPE. I would have never thought I would, but I do. Struggling to be patient as he resolves whatever issue he has. But I feel extremely lonely and lost.

    • I apologize for the late reply. I hope you have heard back by now , if not you need to kick the dirt and move on.
      My guess is he is probably married. Keep looking for someone who can give you the time you need to learn and grow

  24. Vile,

    I have been reading up and looking around since deciding to enter into the BDSM lifestyle but I’m at a loss as to the next step. I don’t know how to approach anyone so as to ask questions, learn the ropes and etiquette or meet people since I’m not interested in a hookup. Boy, it’s easy to find a willing fuck buddy but what about a friend, eh? Where do I go to ease into the community?

    Thank you for your supportive words. This has been an interesting read.

    • Join fetlife create a profile it is free, look up local groups in your area. Make friends with others who are submissive.
      Stay away from any Doms for now until you at least learn a few ropes..

      Just act like a lady proper you will draw more good to you.
      I am not saying you are not a lady just sit back and listen and observe..

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