Breaking Protocols

I have went on and on about protocol. when I take something to heart I like sharing. Those who are true to the lifestyle knows something about this subject, those learning should take note. As a matter of fact if you are new to the lifestyle submissive that is and you are meeting a new Dominant one of the first questions you should ask is what are your protocols, public and private. If the Dom has to think or is struggling with words beware.

A friend of ours was at a local Munch she was with her Dom, I guess it was a huge turnout the St Augustine Fla Munch always has a huge turnout anyway. Good topics and awesome Demos.

A new Dominant shows up, been in the lifestyle for some years, I have met him a couple of times he seemed somewhat gentle if you will, he was okay no one I would hangout with, then again there is not many people I would hangout with anyway.

It is very improper for a Dominant to contact a submissive who is collard without contacting her Dominant first. Going over the Doms head is very disrespectful. It does not matter if your just dropping a note to say high it was good to meet you.

Her Dominant contacted him, and again he sent her an email apologizing again not contacting her Dom. So again he contacts him again and explains his protocols. Then at the Munch again he ignored her Dom and directly spoke to her again apologizing, if I am getting the story right. This am Arianna and I were sitting at the table, our morning coffee together and she was explaining to me what had happened.

To this day there are four Dominants that I will allow Arianna to speak to, this is in public, and none of them would ever think of contacting her without contacting me first. Even with our wedding pictures, all correspondence went through me first. The Slave who performed the wedding her owner had emailed me and said to make all plans through her. This was his permission.

Here on wordpress we are all pretty open, we kinda open our lives up to friends we have made and to total strangers. Comments are made, but I have seen some comments that go way over the edge, even if a submissive is single there should be some respect.

Okay lets take BDSM completely out of the picture. Bob and Mary go to a company party, the next day Mary receives and email from another co-worker of Bob’s asking her questions and wanting to be her friend. The co-worker ignores the fact that Mary is married or living with someone, and goes over Bob’s head. A total lack of respect.

In the world of BDSM we are suppose to hold ourselves to a much higher standard. our partners look at us in a much different way. We are suppose to be honest, respectful, in control.

Here is the problem, many men see women who are submissive as an easy target, does not matter if they are with someone or not. The one who is making the unwanted advances is going to try and show how the grass could be greener on the other side. These so called Doms are predators and nothing more.

If they spent half as much time chasing someone who is already taken, and looking for someone who is single things might be somewhat different.

To email a submissive going over her owners head is just plain disrespectful. The same thing happened to me several years ago with a very good friend or I thought he was a friend.

Problem in hand, all you are seeing is the shell of the submissive, your thinking about pussy nothing else. What else could you be thinking about you do not even know her, and for some odd reason you think you can offer her a better home. The male predator does not have a clue and the submissive’s home life, not a clue about the needs, and care the submissive may need. Then comes any issues one may have, he is not looking at the whole picture.

Several years ago I invited a friend over to dinner, my slave and I had prepared an awesome meal. I even opened a ten year old bottle of Rose courvoisier cognac. Before and after dinner my friend was just staring at every move my slave made. He made little comments about her hair, her skin. I was thinking really is all this really needed?

So after dinner I stepped outside to talk to a friend who was outside he lived down stairs, I was smoking a padron 1926 cigar. Once I stepped back in I noticed my friend was now sitting next to my slave on the couch. I poured another drink, and she made the comment that my friend wanted her to move in with him, he could treat her better. I am just looking  at him with a blank stare, then I said what the fuck man, I invite you here I feed you share drinks now you want to fuck my bitch. He made the comment that she was not a bitch she was a lady, then he said she was lying.

Okay first off she is my bitch, second she is not capable of lying, third you have known her all of one hour, fourth what are you going to do put her on the handle bars of your bicycle and take her home, to your roach invested apartment, get the fuck out.

Lonnie was his name, he had no clue to what she was like, her needs, and what it took to keep her in line, he saw the shell and nothing more it was his dick talking, he had pussy on his mind.

Prior to Arianna and I getting married, a Slave was going to perform our wedding, I had made several contacts with her master staying updated. Her Master then gave me permission to contact his slave as she was better at giving updates. I made the first contact, then I handed it over to Arianna. Yes the respect factor comes into play.

WordPress I make comments on different blogs but I never contact the submissive via email, even more know knowing she is taken. I have one I do not need anyone else nor am I looking for anyone else.

Outside of a munch or a function, I am not sure why another Dominant would want to contact a slave who is owned and living with her owner.

My time one wordpress I have talked to several submissive’s mainly just giving advice, our conversation never turned sexual, nor did I try to make an advance

While I am far from perfect I have grown over the years, I take who and what I am very serious, and I give the up most respect at all times.

Many today think the way I run my house is about abuse, my rules guidelines, and protocols. One Dominant I know made the comment about dehumanizing. I can see where he was coming from, but again he sees only the shell he is not looking inside to what Ariannas needs are, I can tell you he would not want the responsibility.

Be a man get your own slave, because you may just bite off more than you can chew.



8 Responses to “Breaking Protocols”

  1. I think your example that takes BDSM out of it was a good one. We are friends with a couple, the man and I are the ones who get along best. He was calling me or texting me, fairly often, about getting together. Husband and I ended up getting him to switch to contacting Husband, because I’m a married woman, I don’t need calls from a man all the time. I think it is about boundaries. The boundaries in BDSM may be more strict than in other relationships, but, I think there would be a lot less pain/heartbreak for people if they guarded their relationships better.

    I do, obviously, talk to other men. I’m commenting here. But, the difference is, this is public. It isn’t e-mail, it isn’t texting, anyone can see this. Including my Husband if he chooses. The man in the scenario above doesn’t call me anymore. That doesn’t mean we don’t talk when our families are together. Husband and I decided awhile back that our friendships with the opposite sex had to be open, public. Boundaries in a vanilla relationship, protocol in a BDSM one, either way, I think it’s a good idea.

    • The truth is most men see women as being weak, or for some odd reason they believe they has something better to offer, or it is just sexual.
      There should be boundaries indeed, but BDSM has changed so much over the last ten years respect is almost invisible.
      Men for what ever reason seem to want what others have, even if they are in a relationship, most men are willing to lose everything.
      I am glad you handed everything over to your husband, I have questioned many, like what are you doing man, that is my wife.
      When out if I step away I come back and there are three men trying to talk to Arianna, she just ignores, they get mad and call her stuck up or what ever, these are younger men.
      Here is the truth many who are submissive, not all but for the most have some issues, many suffer from a form of depression, bi-polar, you get it.
      I am not sure why this is but it is true, so we as dominant has to think hard about entering such a relationship, once we agree we put a plan together.
      I was at a doctors visit with Arianna and her doctor even commented that our relationship has truly helped, the structure part mainly.
      It is okay to speak with other men, but once that happens the conversation takes a quick turn, many men get the wrong impression..
      Much Love
      I just rambled

  2. Ciao love!

    As always, enjoyed your post…and couldn’t agree more. As u know I am a sub, and have my own WordPress site as well as tumblr, FB, and twitter. I am constantly (like tons of other women) contacted… men requesting photos, wishing to “talk,” telling me unwanted, lewd things. This behavior upsets me greatly … generally i just ignore them and they eventually lose interest.

    The point I wish to make is this… i shouldn’t be subjected to this treatment at all. Whether these men are aware of my relationship status or proper etiquette (protocols) they should behave as MEN. Show everyone the common decency and respect we as humans all deserve.

    Grazie again for your post …and allowing me to vent 🙂

    Bells xxx

    • If these are Dominant men I feel ashamed. BDSM has changed so much over the last ten years, then 50 shades hits the stores.
      Many men who know nothing about the lifestyle see submissive as a weakness and nothing more. An easy piece of ass if you will.
      Little do they know acting like men and being who they say they are could possibly land them the greatest relationship one could ever imagine.
      I am sorry men act this way towards you. As I have stated I have spoken to several on the phone as friends and nothing sexual has ever come up.
      Again I am so sorry.
      Much Love

  3. Great post, and you are absolutely speaking the truth. If we don’t have honor and respect, What do we have?
    I truly would hope that doesn’t happen too often (although I would not bet my firstborn on it…), but feel truly sorry for the fact that there are a lot of people that just get a faint idea off some porn site, or god only know from where, and pretend to be dominant. That’s not dominant, that’s pathetic.

    • My friend pathetic is running wild. If you ever attend any public events you will see. Although I do not like I do so for mine I feel it is good for her to interact with others, meaning other subs and slaves I just have to keep a sharp eye out

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