I am a Sadist

I have questioned myself over and over again about what makes me tick. What makes me a sadist ?Why do I enjoy inflicting pain ?

Several years ago I went to a shrink , I saw him for about 6 months , wow what an experience. When it was all said and done , I really think he had more problems than I did , or the problems I thought I had.

Most sadist are not what you call cruel , or inconsiderate , nor selfish , the fact is most sadist are very loving and caring.Most are very respectful.

Although there are some sadist or those who think there sadist , while in a session just start beating someone , without a thought. a care and just ignore safe words.

About 16 yrs ago or so I met my first masochist. I had only heard of such , never had any contact until I met her. We were not looking for a relationship , just play partners . I saw her for almost 5 yrs , and in that time I really learned much. There are things I regret doing , but for the most I really enjoyed our time together.

While seeing her I learned needle play , which can really be intense if done correctly , I think at onetime I had 75 needles in each breast and all laced together. I learned to do piercings as well.She was my first to fist , I could just pound her for days with my hand. I used single tail whips. She liked the big black book binders used as clamps on nipples and pussy.

The sky was the limit she had no limits at all , none at all , but that was the kind of relationship she wanted , she got her pleasure , and it allowed me to grow and learn , to explore.

She craved humiliation is was truly a need for her , I had never experienced  humiliation as well . As time went on though it was no longer fun, because each time I saw her I had to out do the last session , it became a real burden. It was at the point it was no longer fun.

Five yrs this went on and in that time she never cried not one tear. Then one day I showed up at her house and this dude answered the door , he said who are you ? Wow ! I just stood there and he told me he was her husband he had just gotten out of prison.  Now you would think after 5 yrs you would know everything about someone well that is far from true.

He invited me in awkward very, we began to talk , and he began to tell me , that he new everything . While we played in her room she had her webcam on , um yea . He thanked me for my time but I was no longer needed.

As I was getting in my fiat , I looked and she was crying .

Now if I am seeing someone lets say just for play , and she is not a masochist , I respect that , I do not even try to explore or push her limits . That is the way it should be . Two reasons , I do not want to hurt someone or cause pain without consent , and the pussy just might be really good.

We are who we are . There is no second guessing , nor should we have to change who we are. People have to except us for the person we are or don’t except us at all.

Are we the ones who are different or is it the others who are different. The truth is we do what most think about and there afraid to take that step into the unknown. Or there afraid to talk to there spouse or partner about such things.

Be who you are , and be proud …


5 Responses to “I am a Sadist”

  1. oliviamar Says:

    Most shrinks are nutty. It helps them with the job, I think.

  2. Shrinks… *sigh* 🙂

  3. i love shrinks; play with their head, what the hey, im paying them! ;D

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