Archive for the Total Power Exchange Category

The Power Of Slave Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM Relationships, Dominant and Submissive, Face Fucking, fetlife, Master And Slave, molding your slave, owned property, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , on June 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Training has to be a need , not a want, if it is just a want it has no meaning. One day a week or so ago Arianna made the comment about the Topic Brainwashing , other topics have been Hypnosis. Both topics were really no surprise as she spends a good deal of time looking for other ways to offer her submission even more than she does now, she continues looking for ways to give up more control.

A TPE relationship or Total Power Exchange is not a easy task and even more so if it is a micromanaged but as time goes on it becomes less of a task and more of a way of life. Generally it takes both about 90 days to get their feet in the ground and well adjusted.

So lets set sex to the side for now and concentrate on the building of a lasting relationship. In the past sex was hard to put on the back burner. Putting sex on the back burner is very important and it is a need in order to build a successful D’s Or M’s relationship.

Training is a need and not a want , I mean the type of need that keeps you awake at night, the need to please someone , the need to give up control. If your needs are met then there are no wants..

Your body and mind belongs to someone else, you are told how to do your hair, the color, nails and how do dress. Sex will be new as well , your told how to suck dick , how to fuck, you become a toy.

Arianna and I spoke at our local munch this past week on the building a TPE , Total power exchange relationship. We love sharing our story on how we met , how we started and how we grew and today we continue to grow.

Sitting back and watching the transformation , the changes not so much at first but then you can see almost on a daily basis. The Slave however in most cases are not fully aware of any changes at all.

Starting out taking small privileges away , things that are cherished such as being able to sit on furniture, being able to sit at the dinner table and sitting on the floor next to you. Giving direct times to shower , using the bathroom asking permission to do anything. The forming of habits it very important , again being consistent on a daily basis , even hourly.

I prefer keeping my property nude while at home , no clothes unless I give the word. This bring on a more humble feeling , the feeling of being exposed. At times depending on the company who comes over determines if I allow clothes or not. Putting restrictions in place on when and where the Slave can sit and permission must be giving before any type of action.

Everything is earned nothing is giving , there are goals put in place and goals must be reached before moving on to the next level of training. Reaching goals there are small rewards, small privileges are giving. What ever is giving depends on your dynamic , your agreement in your relationship after all each is different.

If you the Dominant are going to put rules in place , protocols you have the responsibility to explain everything in full detail so the Slave understands what you are saying. The Slave should be able to ask for clarification if there are still unanswered questions.

Training a Slave or Submissive cannot begin until you know either inside out, you cannot impose any rules without fully knowing the needs.

The Slave is not your mother , the Slave is not your grandmother , if you want a mommy figure then move back home. I pickup behind myself , there are some days I cook and I will explain why.

We expect so much from our property , and you can get to a point to where there is a breaking point , so we as Dominants have to take up some of the load. Every Slave needs down time, a time to relax , clear their head. Get out for the day , see friends or family , go to a movie doing something giving the mind a chance to relax. This also allows down time for the Dominant, because not only do we work but we take care of the home as well. I myself need that time alone just as a Slave does, I need that time to clear my head.

Accountability is huge , there is a lot of meaning behind that word. The Slave has to know they are held accountable for their actions. The Slave has to know there are consequences. The Slave has to know the privileges giving can be taken away at any time. If you are going to punish then punish , you cant bark like a wolf and never attack. Say what you mean and do what you mean and if your going to punish explain in detail why and what punishment you are going to use. However you cannot sit around and watch hoping something is going to go wrong you are setting the Slave up for failure.

Rules are meant for improvement , rules are meant to be followed however I prefer protocols over rules. If enough realistic protocols are in place then very few rules are needed.

Using the Slave , and this has worked for me over the years but more so while in my relationship with Arianna. In the beginning stages of our relationship I made it clear sex was all about me. If she was allowed to cum it was earned and no I was not using Orgasm control, again its about me. The slave gives her self , and giving I mean fully.

You the Dominant when entering a relationship make your needs known upfront, lay everything out on the table, be clear and make sure the Slave understanding. If the Slave states one of your needs is off limits then sit down and talk. At this point you cannot be making any type of demands. If the two of you cannot come to an agreement then you move on. Just as the Slave is looking for the right owner , the Owner is looking for the right Slave.

Watching fifty shades of grey almost made me sick, although the movie is credited to bringing more men and women alive and opening their eyes , and I am sure it has helped some relationships in the bedroom.

The first movie while negotiating their contract Mr Grey gave in to almost all of his needs, the word is need. The second movie when begging for her to come back he got down on his knee almost begging. This showed how weak he was , I was really disappointed.

While the movie was based on being submissive during sex , there was absolutely nothing in the movie about a Dominant or Submissive on how they live on a daily bases, there was no structure , thus having no meaning. The Movie had nothing to do with Master and Slave. To some men the movie was a open door to abuse, some men think all women think that way and that is just not true.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/23/college-student-accused-of-rape-claims-he-was-reenacting-50-shades-of-grey/?utm_term=.93211a13bf53

It is really fucked up how some people think, its fucked up how those who call themselves Dominants and see submission as a form of weakness.

Back to using , once you have agreed to enter a relationship and the terms are made clear you are ready to begin. I find the words making love very hard to use, It is seldom I can even get off in that frame of mind. I have the mindset I am using my property , I am using my property for my pleasure, I am using my property so I can get off. At times I am extremely rough and at times not so much. I love getting my cock sucked , there is not a better feeling and while I try to be somewhat gentle yea it does not end up as such.  I use the term face fucking, I love that gagging feeling , feeling the muscles grabbing my cock. I love anal sex at times I use lube then there are times I go straight from the mouth to the ass or from the pussy to the as. I love ass to mouth, which makes me wonder if banks know what ATM really means. The word again is use , you use your property.

This is something I shared on Fetlife.

I am not into the pain , I am not into humiliation although at times I do believe it is necessary .
I am not into abuse of any kind , be it physical , mental , or verbal.

My slave and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and I cannot begin to explain how blessed I am .

On our wedding day we also had a collaring ceremony and to this day my slaves collar has never been off.

I am into a well structured home , I am into a drama free home, I am into a problem free home.

I run a very strict home , rules are followed , I have strict protocols in place both are followed without question.

I am into communication I set time aside on a daily basis.
There are no cell phones allowed during any meal public or private.

My slave comes first without question.

To this day we have yet to have a single argument, this is something I take pride in.

I just wanted to say thank you Arianna

I crave the control , I crave the structure , I crave the drama free life , I crave the problem free life, I am living the dream.

I dont want passwords  to accounts that is just fucking childish , if I cant trust you I dont need you. I am far from insecure, however I will take the phone or pad and go through when I feel like it. I think in 4.5 years ive going through Ariannas phone and pad maybe 5 times , Lynn now our third once.  There is a huge difference in being in control and being controlling.

Find your space , find your needs , and find someone who shares the same interest you have..

Training On Different Levels

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://dominationsubmission.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/bdsm-training-methodology-and-techniques/, Master And Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, TPE, Training Arianna with tags , , , , , , , on March 7, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was just reading a Blog By Master P.

https://dominationsubmission.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/bdsm-training-methodology-and-techniques/

The topic was BDSM Training-Methodology and Techniques
Before you start ranting I am not totally disagreeing with him but I find to have a different opinion one a few topics.
thekinkyworldofvile.wordpress.com is based one a Master , Slave relationship, it is based on a owner property relationship , it is based on a TPE relationship , Total Power Exchange. If you put these all together I control everything and while I do listen I have the final say.
Again I agree with Most of what Master P is talking about but we are talking about two different relationships. Dominant , submissive , Master And Slave and there by definition is a clear difference.
Behavior modification is changing ones way of thinking, in a good scenario this can be done willingly or forced that would be totally breaking someones will.
Although most training is done to fit the Masters needs there are other things we look at , changing bad habit into good ones.
I did train for service , I did so because I have protocols that I want followed when company is over. I have protocols for private and public, I have different stages of protocols and each one is used depending on the setting.
So I was just thinking about why men cheat be it vanilla , D’s and I do know Doms who cheat , hell Ive known Master who cheated.
So when finding a partner why not find someone you can train to make you complete.
I am in no way saying Master P is wrong with what he is saying it just proves that we are all different in the way we think , act, and train. Our train of thought is different , more so our needs.
Although a Master puts his slave first she is there to fit his needs and wants and the Master insures the Slaves needs are met on a daily basis.
When looking for a partner you should take your time and find someone you can connect with on every level in life. You should be able to communicate on every level and be able to speak freely and openly.
Training is something I take very serious and now I will only take on such a task if it is to be a long term. I also make it known it will be a slow process it is not something where I meet you on Monday and Tuesday we both jump head first..
Putting a plan together is needed before hand , what worked for the last slave will not work for the next.The same with rules although my protocols have never changed over the years if anything I have become more strict.
With the submissive , the submissive accepts and strives for submission a slave strives for Obedience.

Submission Vs Slave

Best Slave Training if your a new Dominant , or submissive , slave there is a ton of useful information. There is not one website or book you can base your relationship on but you can take bits and pieces and come up with a plan.
In my opinion, a submissive retains freedom of choice and a slave gives her freedom of choice to her Master. A submissive makes a choice to give her submission in a limited fashion, for a defined period of time and under certain conditions. A submissive can have a long-term relationship with a Master, but still retains certain controls. However, many are satisfied with casual role-play without any long-term goals. Training may or may not be involved between a Dominant and a submissive.
A submissive often has a list of conditions, rules, and limits that a Dominant is required to agree to before entering a session or relationship. These conditions, rules and limits usually define time, place and activity.
Slavery calls for a higher level of commitment and of serving, obeying and pleasing than submission. Slavery is the complete commitment of a slave’s body, mind, soul, and spirit. She submits to the will of her Master. His choices become her choices. Obedience is a major focus in her life.
Being a slave means you are willing to be molded to fit her Master’s needs and to serve him. A slave is re-socialized and re-educated by her Master to serve, obey and please him. Her attention is on his happiness.

Submission Vs Slave

The Master makes his slave his number one priority , even when it comes to friends and family. The Master insures the slaves needs are taken care of , even on a emotional and mental state.
While in some D’s relationship as stated above there may or may not be any type of training , what is important is you have found your place in life and your relationship.
Some thought my training strategy was a little strict , or maybe even a little unorthodox, but I am me and I was not going to change who or what I was . I did just that before and I failed..
Once you give your word you cannot go back or try to change anything when it comes to rules or protocols.
Again Master P is not wrong with what he is saying but we are talking about 2 different lifestyles.
I will give you a peak into Airanna’s mind she had dropped me off at a store and I told her to circle and pick me up when I was ready. She was texting with someone and she explained she was in service, this is just one example but her train of thought.
I enjoy the training , I love watching the transformation, I love creating but this comes with a cost, and that cost is Arianna and her well being is my responsibility, The decisions I make greatly effect two and not one. Yes this is where choices and consequences come into play…
It is the slave that has to adapt to the Masters way, if your having problems then sit back and think of what could be improved on
Vile

Mastering The Master

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, emotional, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Mental BDSM, positive reinforcement, relationships, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Training Arianna, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , on February 29, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am not perfect, although many would disagree with that statement. Most who know me think I am loud , very out spoken and at times obnoxious.

On the way to a local coffee group which all the people whoa attend are awesome , a good get together at a local star bucks then at times dinner after. I work from home as most know and come my Friday I need to get out I need that interaction with like minded people.

On our way the group leader was warning new comers of my arrival. I am warning you ahead of time Vile is unfiltered. Unfiltered I never looked at it that way , I simply say what is on my mind be it serious or joking…

Some months ago I received and email from a woman who said my blog was the most disgusting place she had ever visited and i should be shut down. So sitting back I am thinking if you find it that bad, why did you spend time reading it and then making time out of your busy life to email me?

Out in the world I like to have fun , I like to joke around , I enjoy making others laugh, but mostly I love learning how others live our wild lifestyle. I listen , I observe and I take in just like a hard drive on a computer.

I have come a long way in the past twenty five years or so and I am making plans for the next twenty five. I have grown on so many levels , I have set goals , I have made most of my goals and I continue to march forward.

My MAsT Chapter has been approved, Masters And Slaves Together. It was not an easy task and it was about a 13 month process.

Over the years I made mistakes, some were a mistake and at times things I did was because I could, I am me , I will stay me and I will walk my own path , but most of all I will not live a life where I have to be politically correct , my life is on my time and my time only.

I am positive , very optimistic , even if I have negative thoughts I keep them to myself. Everything I do has a plan and I seldom make a mistake but if I do I admit it, after all I can be wrong.

I am in control, I am control of my everyday life, my home and in most cases my job. I run my house , I am in full control, but with all of these choices comes consequences.

Mastering the Master is a long path and it is not an easy road to walk. You have to define who and what you are, you have to define where you are and where you want to be, you have to define the type of relationship you want, but most of all you have to define the type of partner you need in your life, not want but need, a want is nothing a want has no meaning and at times a want can be destructive and childish. I concentrate on my needs if my needs are met there are no wants.

When I first met Arianna I made a promise and a commitment , I told her I will never raise my voice towards her or call her names out of anger and some 3 years later this still holds true. Being in control was a strong need to me , being able to not only listen but being able to communicate in a clear and understanding voice. Saying what I mean and mean what I say , not only saying what I will do but do the things I said I would.

Some say it is healthy to argue and while I may agree a little it depends on how you agree to argue. Bruises heal words cut deeper bruises hurt but words effect someone on a very deep mental state and while one can forgive one will never forget The more you hurt with your words the more you are in danger of losing what you have.

If you are fighting with yours Slave or submissive if you had any type of training then you as a Master needs to sit back and maybe come up with a different approach.

MASTER / SLAVE

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

No where in the above definition does it mention a Master Arguing with their Slave. No where in the statement above does it mention a Master Losing control.

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship.

If you the Master argues with your Slave not submissive but your Slave who is the bitch in the relationship ?

When entering a M/s relationship , a power exchange relationship or a Total power exchange you the Master are taking on a huge responsibility. You need to have a clear plan and a training program in place and a training program that puts you in the lead but more important one who will follow and have the need to follow.

Training someone takes a great deal of thought , every submissive or Slave has a different thought process, different habits and react in different ways . Some are emotional , some may suffer from some type of depression , some may suffer from anxiety the list goes on and on, so what worked in your last relationship surely will not work in your next , that includes training and rules..

I think a lot of the misunderstanding comes from someone who is new to the lifestyle and just jumps in head first and not really having a clue… Waking up one morning and your a Master because of a blog or a porn site you ran across. We as humans are visual and you google BDSM and click images and there is your definition.

Mastering the Master , Mastering communication , Mastering honesty , Mastering commitment, Mastering your devotion , Mastering your understanding of ones needs , Mastering your loyalty , Mastering your consistency , your training but most of all your continued growth.

Each and everyday I work on most of those , not only daily but hourly . I work to maintain what I and we have. I want us as Master and Slave to continue to grow.

The out come is you end up with a best friend , partner , and Slave.

 

Vile

 

What It Takes To Be A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, control, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, kinky, Master And Slave, owning a slave, relationships, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.

 

 

A New Dungeon In Town , Orlando Florida. The Ninth Circle

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Education, Bdsm events, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, communication, Dominants Protocol, fisting, MAST, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Old Guard, Old Leather Guard, Orlando Florida. The Ninth Circle, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, suspension, The Ninth Circle, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com on September 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Ninth Circle

is a membership community for Education and Socialization within the Leather lifestyle……
Arianna and I were talking a couple of weeks ago and she brought up a new group on fetlife , she thought we may have something in common. As she passed the tablet and I began reading , my thoughts were WOW.
I love structure , I love Protocols , I love Education , but most of all I love when there is a place where people can go and play and not have to worry about not being safe. A place with structure, protocols and rules.
Although pictures were not allowed there are a few on the Ninth Circles website. As you walk in there is a meeting area, and a small snack bar.
Arianna and I were the first to arrive , I was really stoked and I will explain more here in a few. The class we were attending was the Introduction to leather and the History. Then after the introduction the tour of the Dungeon , I will be the first to admit with being to other Dungeons in Florida I was not really expecting very much.. What I mean is once you have seen a Dungeon you have seen them all, but this was not the case..
Master Stephen runs the Ninth Circle along with The Lady Kathryn… Master Stephen was very friendly , well spoken and he carries a lot of knowledge.  A Leather man who entered the lifestyle back in 1972 and one who was once mentored is now mentoring those who wish to carry such an honor and earning Leather.
Master Stephen opened the door to the Dungeon and as Arianna and I walked in my jaw dropped open.  The setting was awesome, the lighting was just right, new indoor outdoor carpet , I believe there were three St Andrew cross’s, a spanking bench , but Master Stephen called it a fisting bench. Two swings and a setup for bondage and suspension. Then onto the toys and my favorite which Arianna hates the Violet wand. I asked Master Stephen to use it on her nipples and she felt it for some 30 minutes after.
 You can read all about the Ninth Circle here…
 http://www.theninthcircleorlando.com/
A little more about Master Stephen:
“I entered into a life of Leather back in 1972 in New York. I was blessed to be mentored by a true Old Guard Leather Man with deep insight and personal integrity. He instilled this way of life in me, and in so many others. I was called to take over his house when we lost him to cancer in 1984. Now some 30 years later I still hold true to the traditions of my Mentor. I strive to pass knowledge and insight along to others with a true and serious desire to live a leather life, a life of personal integrity, dignity and a compassion and concern for others.
I further believe that life has changed since 1972; some for the better and some NOT SO MUCH! So, with that said, I recognize that there needs to be a current and relevant presentation of the traditions and values my Mentor taught me. For me that means looking at each person seeking mentoring and take into consideration their personal reality. It is not hard to teach the traditions and respect one need to hold for a mentor and for the lifestyle when you are living it!”
https://fetlife.com/groups/123155
Now On to why Leather is so passionate to me, Vile….
I am passionate about a few things, my relationship with my slave, the lifestyle as a whole, safety , any type of abuse and Education. I also have a few things on my bucket list.
First was to have a MAsT Chapter , it was a very long road some 6 months in the making but in the end I was giving the opportunity. Second was earning Leather , I am very Passionate about this. That was our main reason going to The Ninth Circle, but after reading the mentoring program I will have to look at a different avenue..
To me Leather is about Integrity, Honor, Discipline, Trust, Respect, Service. Its about holding ourselves to a higher standard, and I truly believe this, it is also about education , sharing with others.
If your ever in the area please check out the Ninth Circle you will have a lot of fun…..
Vile

BDSM Relationship Reset

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Reset, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, communication, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, owning a slave, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, use your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

We all get in a routine , we do the same ol thing day in and day out. The routine becomes such a habit we do not even realize it.
The same goes for relationships , the old routine , and up until last night I never gave it much thought until Arianna brought it up, and Reset was the word, a relationship lifestyle reset.

Now you could say the same thing about a vanilla relationship, but I really doubt you could pull your wife by the hair force her down to her knees, shove your cock in her mouth pump until you blow your load, bend her over the couch and force two fingers in her pussy and two in her ass and pump until your arm gives out, then put her in a cage. That does sound very interesting.

The routine , Yes Sir, No Sir, may I Sir? You may , you may not , hey lets play!!!!!!

You already have rules in place , you have structure in place and rules but your submissive or slave feels like they are in a rut, a dead end, no where to turn, and once their feelings are discussed you then think of a plan.

A Boot Camp a Mini Boot camp , 12 to 24 hours maybe even 48 hours, you can set time aside , after all its your relationship we are talking about, you cannot put a price on time spent with your partner. Once we get comfortable we tend to expect things instead of appreciating them , that is something we have to keep in check so your partner does not feel they are being taking advantage of…

So I am in the planning stage of what a Reset would mean to me , maybe something like the story I blogged about ? The Breaking Of Sabrina, maybe a kidnapping scenario, that would last 12 , 24 maybe even 48 hours.

Bondage , Hot wax , leather hood, ball gag, dildo’s , face fucking ass fucking … Fingers deep inside Arianna’s pussy probing and feeling around inside as deep as I can go, Fingering her ass, one, two, three fingers pumping her ass.

No conversation just using.. A Total mind fuck weekend nothing discussed , nothing negotiated.. What comes with all of this a total M’s relationship reset…

So we are different a Vanilla relationship may make plans for a nice weekend , a short get away. I on the other hand have a different thought of mind.

I think the only times this would not work is one , if you went through no training. Two if you did not enter the relationship as a D’s or M’s couple, or you do not live together. I do know LDR’s you cannot put an effective training program in place. The Dominant is not present so there is no way he can be in control 24/7 and he can only go by what he is told..

Sometimes we can get in a rut and we do not see the whole picture, we grow to expect things, everything just seem normal, and things begin to grow Blah.

Even today almost three years later I am always thinking of ways to change things up a little. The one thing we do not want to do is put or add more than the sub or slave can handle. The same with rules, once you have been together for a month or so the Dominant can begin to add a few rules, as the relationship progresses more can be added..

Many times we as Dominants let our feelings get in the way, we think one way and act on another, maybe in fear of that huge bad word NO. If your relationship is on track the word NO will never come to light. Your thinking you want your cock sucked but you see your sub watching TV, or playing a game on the phone, or maybe you feel guilty?

I take training very serious , once you begin a M’s relationship you are molding someone to fit your needs. You are changing someones thought process.
You are changing someones habits, you are training someone to know what your thinking, how to do something, and when to do it.

You as a submissive may think well I don’t want to give up that much control. Once in a relationship and as your trust builds , you will begin to let more and more go. Once you find you are in hands that truly care about you and has your best interest in hand…

One thing I do know, you always put your partner first no matter what, you keep an open line of communication open. If that happens you both will grow.

To have someone kneel because they want is a total rush, to have someone kneel because you can make them is just ego feeding.

viledesires62@aol.com

train

Vile

Being Masters Slut

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, choices and consequences, communication, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, consequences, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owned property, slave, slut, submissive, Submissive being used, Total Power Exchange, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com on August 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many hate those words , Slut , whore , Bitch , and many more but in our lifestyle to most those are really just pet names.

Each role in the lifestyle is different , each relationship is different , and the way you are treated is different.

Every Master is different , every house is ran different. I myself run a very strict home , but what is so awesome is the way Arianna has adapted to my surroundings , she has giving 150% and 150% 24/7…

Over the years my idea of owning a slave has changed, the way I wanted to train, the protocols I wanted, the control, but most of all the control. Although in the past in other relationships I had pretty much the same one thing always happened. I changed, I let my  feelings get in the way thus losing my control and respect.

About 5 years ago I went on what I will call a short sabbatical , I had a little depression going on or maybe just a lack of caring. I did not want to be around anyone , talk to anyone or see anyone. I needed time to get my life back on track and figure out what I wanted out of life.

I did know the way I was feeling and thinking it would not be fair to bring someone into my mess.. This was the time I had made contact with some people who was in the lifestyle in the Philippines. I had my passport in hand and already landed a job.

I met a slave and we played for about 6 months, I knew it was going no place nor did I want it to, I was still moving, then came the day I found out she was married and I cut all ties. I was not going to be responsible for her family breaking up if there was in fact any hope..

So I was introduced to Arianna and I have told the story more than once. After I first meeting I was intrigued and now I had some serious soul searching to do.

I knew what I wanted and needed it was finding someone who would fit my lifestyle and almost 3 years Later that would be Arianna , and today we continue to grow and expand our relationship as she moves deeper into submission.

I wanted a consensual non consensual relationship , many Dominants told me it would be impossible to find such a slave. I wanted full control, again I was told the same, and in the end all were proven wrong.

In order for me to get what I wanted I had to be willing to give back and many times I am giving back much more.

I am far from the romantic type although there are things I do that shows my appreciation. I am not one to buy gifts or flowers. This has been me for as long as I can remember.

I can tell you from an Owners perspective the Dominant has to keep the frame of mind that his partner is there for his use. Before anything the submissive is owned , they are property , they are there for pleasure and only pleasure. Once you lose that train of thought you the Dominant will lose control and respect. Once you show a different side you cannot go back because that thought is always there….

So as I mentioned I am moving in a different direction. Sometime ago I was asked to do a short story , which I did and it got one comment.
I went deep in my thoughts and while the story may or may not be true, thoughts as such do pass through my mind.
Total control, total usage no questions asked.
The Breaking Of Sabrina was meant to be one of many stories and some day they may come to light, I have not really gave it much thought.

Back on track now when most think about BDSM most see abuse , most see the female or male being abuse. My train of thought is there is such a thing called consensual abuse, consensual usage, consensual ownership.

The Non consensual side is a different story…

Life is full of choices which door are you going to take?

door

Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/observations/

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.

trust

Vile

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

Anal Sex And Bondage

Posted in anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Bondage, communication, fucking, fucking and sucking, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com on June 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna and I just recently had Physicals done and we both got the green light with the exception of my sugar being low so we have changed up my diet a little. It is really cool we see the same Doctor and at the same time in the same room together. The only thing I found somewhat disturbing was getting a prostrate check by a 70 year old female doctor in front of Arianna and getting hard while being checked.
January 1st 2014 was my last real cigarette , and although I am still on the ecig I am feeling 300% better and Ive noticed a difference in how food taste. Then comes the slight weight gain of about 15 lbs, but that is out weighed by the money I am saving. Before I was spending about 350 to 400 a month and as I look back man what a waist of money. Today I am at about 65 dollars a month. When I first started my Nicotine level in the ecig juice I was using was 36 milligrams when kept me on my toes meaning a huge buzzed feeling. Today I am down to 6 milligrams . This was a huge step since I had been smoking for 38 years. Still every now and then I get a craving but is passes really quick.
It does not bother me to be around others who smoke unless they are smoking a cheap generic then I kinda gag , not the gagging like Arianna does sometimes but a sicking gag.

Slave had stumbled across some of my postings via Fetlife and she thought it could of been her Master. It was not long until her and Arianna became friends. We had dinner Thursday night and it was truly amazing being able to communicate with someone who thought along the same lines as I do , well for the most anyway.
We are all different but the main thing we had in common was , one we both live a 24/7 M’s two we take the lifestyle very serious. I am not saying others do not, but not many share the same point of views I do.

I seldom blog about our sex life or out sessions , but the other day while we were playing , I noticed the more I did the more aroused I became. I love bondage , I love rope but my favorite is the moving plastic wrap.
I love using leather cuffs locked of course , but my favorite is the hood.Even with the hood I use the plastic wrap to go around the eyes even though the hood has a mask , because I want to block out all light. Cuff on her hand placed in front , then I wrap her up right below her breast several times tight enough she cannot move.
The plastic wrap is awesome because if you do like a mummy who ever is wrapped up is not getting lose. It is funny mainly because the more control I have the harder I get, at this point I could of hung a wet towel and let it dry.

The only place the mask has an opening because I left it open was the mouth, and we all know what that is for. I placed her on the floor in the sitting position, and walked over picked up her vibrator and handed it to her and I said Cum. I tilted her head just a little bit and said open wide.
You can actually feel the throat muscles when someone is gagging, one of the best feelings in the world. I am going to say this went on well not long maybe 15 minutes or so, then I pulled out picked her up and placed her on the bed spread her legs and I just started pounding her, to the point of being out of breath. So I pulled out and I just stood back looking at my property, then I saw it that bottom hole, grrr.
So I decided to be nice this time and I am looking around the room ahhh there it is the lube. After lubing myself up I walked right up and slowly slid my cock in her ass , just holding it yea the muscles gripping feels almost as good as the mouth.
Once I thought she had adjusted I began pumping , wrapping my arms around her thighs , I was trying to make her throat swell, well that is how deep I wanted to go,and again maybe 10 minutes or so I pull out because now I want the pussy again.
I pull out and just walk away I jump in the shower wash off. Once done I dried partly off walked up and slid my cock back in her pussy , and yes still just as wet and I finished until I dumped my load.

There is just something about anal sex that drives me up the wall , but along with anal sex , the more control I have and the more helpless Arianna is the more turned on I get.

The control thing has been there well ever since I can remember , not only when it came to sex or bondage, I am speaking in general. Even when out with friends I would control the conversation most of the time if I was interested in what I was hearing.

In my teens I had a pretty bad temper , but I can say during my time in school from elementary through high school I was only in one fight, and I believe that was the seventh grade, and after that no one messed with me. Even if confronted I managed to talk my way out and turn things around pretty fast.

I was 18 when I was introduced to Buddhism , it was then I learned to channel my anger into good thoughts. It was then I came to realize the things that happened while at home was not my fault and my family was just dysfunctional and I was the normal one.

Last here is a new Toy that was giving to me by a friend and it will get plenty of use..

vileschair

Vile

viledesires62@aol.com