Archive for the Safe Category

Is There A Perfect Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, Breaking Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, Health, Master, punish, Punishment, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to include a submissive as well , because I firmly believe you can achieve perfection in both a submissive and a slave.

It is us the Dominants or the Masters who set the pace of the relationship.
We are the ones who builds the forms , and we call in the cement trucks to pour the foundation.

Before any of this begins you have the plans to your relationship already drawn up. You already have an idea of the lay out of your new relationship.

Once the foundation is poured you can begin construction on your new relationship.

The problem with some builders they tend to cut corners to cut cost, and we know in the long run this does not pay off.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Then we start with the frame work of our new relationship….

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

These are steps that have to be taking in a new relationship as well.

It is up to the Dominant to make sure everything falls into place. So we watch and guide through the whole process.
We watch the start of the framing , the pouring of the concrete, then the framing of the new house. W have come up with the perfect floor plan to fit our needs, the lighting, the fixtures , and even the appliances.
We have a plan when it comes to the landscaping.
Everything just falls into place , until we stand back and we are looking at perfection.

Is there a perfect Slave or Submissive, the answer is yes. The perfection comes from the Dominant and his training.

Something I do not see much about is goals, goals within the relationship, and goals for the submissive or slave. In any relationship goals are very important and that is something that should be talked about prior to entering a new relationship.
Here in the next day or so I am going to make a post about goals and the needs of having goals put into place…
We are here to build something, we are here to build something great, we want ours to excel in life, we want to set goals for improvement.

goals

As we continue building our relationship , and we have poured the foundation, we have the framing finished now we add the finishing touch, and our home is complete.

house

Although our building is finished now we have the daily maintenance in order to keep it up.
This is the same thing in a relationship it requires daily maintenance, and that would be communication
Often in a D’s or M’s relationship the communication is one way , and that would be a Dominant barking orders, and in reality once you have everything in place the Dominant seldom has to bring anything up.

Some two years ago Arianna asked me , how am I suppose to learn? My answer was observe and listen , I want you to be able to anticipate my needs , and she thought I was setting her up for failure but that was not the case because today she does just that.

If treated right and shown love and that you care the Submissive or Slave will not only want to but will have the need to please.

If the the sub or slave is going to put you first in their life , they deserve the same in return..

If things are not going your way , if your sub or slave is not following rules , or your not able to train, or your just having problem in general, do not blame them.

You the Dominant needs to set back and reevaluate what your doing because chances are it is something you are doing. The Dominant is quick to put the blame on someone else, because it could never be him, but in fact most of the time it is.

Communication is the base of the relationship , but with communication comes positive reinforcement , positive reinforcement goes a very long way in building a relationship and this should be practiced daily.

Choices and consequences that is life , that is what life is about. We make choices and we have to face the consequences good or bad.

In a little over two years Arianna has been punished one time and only one time. I have rules in place and Arianna broke a rule maybe not on purpose but she did and to me it was something serious.
Today she knows although there are choices there are also consequences. A Sub or slave will strive for perfection , and that comes with positive reinforcement and communication. Although I do believe in punishment , it is seldom needed because the worst punishment to a sub or slave is knowing they displeased their owner.

BDSM is not about punishing your property , BDSM is about a stable partnership where you build up each other.

As a Dominant you should not have have to punish to prove who you are, your actions should be able to do that, you keeping your word , being honest , and staying consistent.

Again if your relationship is not going as planned , chances are the Dominant needs to sit down and reevaluate what your doing and maybe you need to change somethings up.

If you have anger issues or maybe your controlling you will need to fix those before you can proceed , so you can have a healthy relationship.
You should not take your anger out on your partner , you should not take your problems out on your partner nor your drama.

Believe it or not Arianna and I have zero problems our life is completely drama free. We do however have obstacles come our way , but I handle them, and we move forward , this is all part of the daily maintenance after your house is built.

We cannot expect perfection if we are not willing to build and keep up what we build.

submission

Vile

Okay So Your In A Bad Relationship.

Posted in 24/7, Bad Reltionships, betrayed, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Depression, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, Master, Master And Slave, relationships, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Self Inflicting, slave, Submission, submissive on September 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

We have all been there, fuck I have even been in some fucked up relationships with women I even liked. Sometimes we are better left as friends than trying to make a relationship work.

I have been in relationships I knew where not going to work, but I stayed because it was convenient at the time. If your in such a relationship you have to know in your mind when it is time to go, cut your loss’s and get the fuck out.

Sometimes we enter relationships just for the security, knowing someone is there. Sometimes we need that interaction, we need company, so we settle for less.

Then sometimes we enter relationships that start off good, and everything seems to be flowing in a good direction, then it is like you hit a brick wall, and your like what the fuck just happened.

So you let things get to what the fuck happened ? How do you fix this ? You talk and you talk and you talk, but things are just going from bad to fuck me.

Abuse does not have to be physical, no no no abuse comes in many different forms. It can be verbal, it can be mental, mental is the worst because you never know what to expect, just like physical you never know when he is going to knock the fuck out of you.

Mental abuse stays with you, more so than physical. A black eye will go away, the words you stupid bitch will not.

so now you have to figure out what your going to do, you have to figure out how your going to fix something you did not even break. What is your time line ?

How long are you going to stick around hoping things will get better? 6 Months ? a year ? 2 years ? Maybe your just so insecure you want to leave but you cant ? Last maybe you get off on the abuse but you don’t know it. Maybe you get off on the humiliation and you don’t know it, and I am sure that happens.

It is easy to replace a dumbass , as a matter of fact you can replace a dumbass in less than a week.

To replace a dumbass with someone who is really going to be there for you, respect you, understand you, someone who wants to understand you. Someone who cares about your feelings and needs, you get the picture. That type of relationship will take some time.

You can pretend the stupid will go away, but the truth is, once the stupid kicks in, it just loses all control, and you cannot stop it.

You are never stuck, there is always an out, there will always be someplace you can go. You are never stuck.

I have a very dear friend who is in such a relationship, her Boyfriend is mentally abusive. Everyday there is something, they never go a day without fighting.

Let me tell you what I did. I gave them a place to live when they had no place to go, I put a roof over their head. They did pay rent once they got on their feet, but I knew from the beginning he was some kind of stupid. He was in trouble running from the police, active warrants , and still today he is wanted, but Vile kept his mouth shut.

K I will call her is very sick, more so physically but she has some mental issues as well, but now she is on meds.
She has no medical insurance , so I walked her through the steps to get the things she needed, I will also add her Boyfriend played no part in anything.

I knew she had to get counseling I helped her with that and I made sure she went. She is very sick physically a lot of problems going on.
She is not able to work, I helped her get her disability , and last week she received her first check for 2100 dollars and a check for 16.000 is on the way.

How much did Vile take from K ? None, nothing money did not even cross my mind, that is hers.
I also agreed to be her payee, because her BF cannot be, because he is a felon. Because he did something stupid and he is not willing to man up. Shrugs.

So I am not looking to gain anything, the satisfaction I got was seeing her improve, making sure she got the help she deserved.

The few things I stressed was, to be honest at all times, tell the truth, do everything by the book, and never give up. If you follow those steps nothing will ever go wrong. There may be a few obstacles you run into, but you stay on track and good things will come.

K will have to make up her mind here pretty soon as far as what she is going to do to make her environment better, because in life there are always options.

What can your partner do for you, I am not talking about money, or maybe that is the way you roll, maybe money runs your life, maybe money makes you feel better, but you can be rich and still be poor.
How is your partner there for you, are they walking the same path as you are?
Are they devoting as much time as you need?
Are they communicating with you on a regular basis?
Are they showing on a daily basis they need you?
Are they showing you they understand you?
There are many factors that come into play..

If your waking up miserable on a daily basis, or your arguing on a daily basis, then sometimes you just have to say fuck it and throw in the towel. It does hurt and will probably hurt for a long time, but do not go down with a sinking ship if it was not your fault, and you had no hand in it sinking.

You can be a submissive in the same situation as well, again you have to decide how much time you want to waste …. Because the longer you wait it out the more your going to miss out on. Just saying..

The one thing you have to remember, most of our problems are self inflicting, so for the most we are in control of our own life

dumb

Vile

Vile And Heather

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, cum, Master, Master & Slave, Rough Sex, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe, skull fucking, slave, slut, Submission, submissive, whore, Whores with tags , , on August 8, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

First Mynx’s Sir thank you what you did truly means a lot, I appreciate your input and for speaking your mind. MCH awesome thank you, and Oceanswater thank you, and the rest of you..

Cheekyhousewife I have much love for ya, and I am not being sarcastic. I believe not allowing fellow Dominants or men to follow your blog would be a bad idea, unless they are being rude.
I got a rise out of you, that is what I like. Everybody for the most agrees with me, although at times there are those who speak up, it is not very often.

A couple of years ago I was seeing a Jehovah Witness , yea imagine that, I never would of thought. I stopped it when I found out she was married. Her husband knocked on the door one night crying, really pretty pathetic I would think…
Prior to that he had ran to the elders of the Hall spilling his family’s life , and why he could not run his own home. So I imagine these old men got off on all of the nasty stories.

Slave Lynn fuck 5’10 145lbs or so, and could fuck like a wild bronco. It was not until after I broke it off I discovered she had ruined my bedroom carpet because she squirted so much. I seldom even turned on my bedroom light anyway, then one morning I turned on the light and I looked and thought what the fuck. Even after cleaning it, it still would not come completely clean, fucking DNA all over my room.

Lynn had told me about all of her sexual adventures prior to meeting me.
One that sticks out was a Guy she had been talking to on the internet and the phone as well. She had agreed to come to his house, and knock on the door blindfolded.
She did just that, and she took a beating a bad beating. Why on earth a Submissive, a Slave or a female would even think of doing such a thing is beyond me, but it happens and it happens on a daily basis.

Okay so you spend time chatting with some guy who claims to be a Dom, then you talk on the phone. You still do not know him. That is what is so awesome about the internet you can be who you want to be, and no one knows the difference..

A very good friend of mine a Baby Girl who I think of as a sister has been raped, because she trusted. I know a submissive who lives in Jacksonville Florida whom I had never met but we were friends online for years, she had been raped three or four times..

Lynn who I knew I would never have a relationship with well long term anyway because I did not fit in her family circle, and I would not hide who I was, but for that time she filled a void.
She would come over Friday afternoon, clean, and cook 5 meals for me, suck and fuck and go home Sunday morning, in time for church, I truly had it made.
I fucked her on the first night, which I do not believe in, but hey it had been a while and she was fucking hot, well over 6ft in heels, and everyone I knew wanted to fuck her.
It was fun until her whiny husband came over crying. If I had known she was married I would of never started seeing her. Another down fall was she was a masochist and that was not really my thing. So yea it would of never lasted, and once she started bringing watch towers over I knew. Really your going to try and convert me wow.

Now we go back some 17 years or more, I was still in the figuring out stage. I knew I wanted a long term relationship but I did not know with whom or what type of slave I wanted.
So I spent my time going from woman to woman, and most I never even fucked. It was someone to take out to dinner, maybe catch a movie. We all get lonely from time to time. So While I was searching and looking I was not sure who or what I needed..

So then came Heather, Heather at that time was way to needy for what I wanted, and she talked a lot and I was not in the mood for any kids either, and she had two from two different men.

It took sometime for me to agree to even meet Heather, mainly because of the kids, but I agreed.
When we went out she was wearing this skirt that was so short it barely covered her ass cheeks which I thought was pretty hot, and she did not look like she had two kids either.

You know I was still young and trying to find my place, but more important trying to find myself. The only thing I knew for sure is I knew how to inflict pain.

In my prior post I used the word fucked, I didn’t really fuck Heather, but I did fuck her mouth.
One thing that has always been a problem well maybe not a problem but just weird. I could not have sex with just anyone, because I had to have that connection, and I was able to tell if there was a connection by kissing, that would tell everything. If I did not have it then nothing was going to happen.

Cheeky I can understand where you would get upset, but we are all different, we all have different needs. Have you read these other blogs where these young subs are seeing married men ? Those who are being abused mentally and some physically.

I appreciate your comments Cheeky I really do, but as Dominants we all go through a learning process.
As much as I would like to say being a Dominant is an easy job, well it is not. I am available 24/7 , seven days a week, 366 days a year.

A good question would of been, hey vile why would you treat someone that way? How could you do that?

The main thing I want to point out is when I told her to strip, she could of said no. When I told her to open her mouth she could of said no, but she came over to my house with the intentions of fucking.
I never led her on, I never said anything about a serious relationship.
I never misled her not one time. At anytime she could of said no or stop, or just take me home.

Now was I a total prick? Does it look like abuse? Sure it does without a question. Did I use her? I blew my load right down into her stomach.

I call it facial abuse, face fucking, throat fucking, you get the picture.

Now one last thing Cheeky, I have been nothing but respectful towards you, and I will always be respectful towards you.
I expect the same in return.
Sometimes we just need to let things soak in before we make a comment..

Much loveslave12

Vile

Red Flags

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, bdsm, Fake Dominants, Married Dominant, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Call, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags on July 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

There have been a string of Deaths in the BDSM community over the last year. Two recent was a man in Tennessee who died after being bound and left alone for more than 20 hrs. His wife is being charged , or has been. The idea was probably his but she should of been there the whole time.

Then the recent suicide of a 22 year old submissive. I will call her Pocketmouse the few times I met her she was a very bubbly soul, with a lot of energy.
Once you enter into a relationship it is only then the true colors start to come to light. Once you move in things can change from good to bad at the blink of an eye.
Some have even said well they can just leave, well you know it is not always that easy. Most feel trapped and they have no where to turn, and the abuse just continues to grow and one feels smothered.

Okay , so most of my blog is not about kinky shit, its not about how I fuck my slave.

Just as people stand on the street corner and scream at the top of their lungs Jesus saves. I do the same when it comes to violence and abuse..

If I bore you or you do not agree with me, then don’t click on the link. If you think I am wrong then speak up, although I think I know everything I just may see it your way. Anything is possible.

I found this on Fetlife someone shared it and gave permission to use it…

It gives a ton of warning signs to look out for. It does not have to be everyone of them, if you recognize just a few seek help…..

You can even reach out to me…..
viledesire62@aol.com

In light of and in response to the recent incident in TN and other incidents that have come to light, I’m posting these red flags. Take heed no matter how you identify yourself; s-type, D-type, Top, bottom or anything in between.

•Tries to separate you from your friends, family or BDSM community.

•Avoids talking about personal details. Gets mad when you ask or quickly ends the conversation or answers questions with questions.

•Has no BDSM references or friends you can talk to. Gets angry when you ask for references or ask around about them.

•Is inconsistent with details about themselves. Does not give you their home and work phone number at the appropriate time.

•Only communicates with you at strange hours and gets mad if you try to contact them at other times.

•Criticizes the BDSM community and refuses to participate, especially if they never were part of it.

•Consistently breaks promises. Always finds excuses for not meeting.

•Always puts blame on others for things going wrong. Does not take personal responsibility.

•Has bad relationships with most or all of their family members.

•Pressures you into doing things you do not want to do. Does not respect your limits, negotiations or contracts.

•Pushes you into a D/s relationship too fast.

•Falls in love with you way too fast and swears undying love before even meeting you.

•Hides behind their D/s authority and says that their authority should not be questioned.

•Tries to make you feel guilty for not being good enough. Says that you are not a “True” sub.

•Loses control of their emotions in arguments and regresses to yelling, name-calling and blame.

•Puts you down in front of other people.

•Turns instantly on their friends, going from best friend to arch enemy at the drop of a hat.

•Treats you lovingly and respectfully one day and then harshly and accusingly the next.

•Goes to great lengths to get revenge on people.

•Lies or withholds information.

•Cheats on you or is overly jealous.

•Will not discuss what your possible future relationship could be like. Tries to keep you in the dark about what might happen next in the relationship.

•Does not respect your feelings, rights, or opinions. Belittles your ideas. Blames you for your hurt feelings.

•Abuses alcohol or other drugs.

•Is constantly asking for large amounts of money from you or others.

•Threatens suicide or other forms of self-harm.

•Deliberately saying or doing things that result in getting themselves seriously hurt.

•Monitors your communications (emails, phone calls, chats) with others.

•Only interacts with you in a kinky or sexual manner as if role-playing. Will not have normal everyday vanilla conversations.

•Never shows you their human side. Is emotionless. Hides their vulnerability behind their D/s role.

•Has multiple online identities for interacting with the same communities.

•Disappears from communication for days or weeks at a time without explanation.

•Is rude to public servants such as waitresses, cashiers and janitors.

•Never says thank you, excuse me or I am sorry to anyone.

This is NOT copyrighted material. Please copy and distribute freely.”

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php/24……

abused 62

Vile

You Should Be Scared

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Dating Sites, Consensual, consequences, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Master, predators, Rape, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Call, slave, submissive, Vile Woods on FaceBook on May 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometime last year I made the statement that a Submissive should ask a Dominant for references, prior to exploring anything physical. Someone made the comment that it was stupid to ask for such a thing because you do not ask a vanilla male for references. In my eyes there is a huge difference when it comes to dating a Dom VS a Vanilla male. The vanilla your probably going out to eat and a movie, the Dom and the submissive is probably going to get their kink on.

There are thousands of rapes everyday, some are very brutal, and some do not have the opportunity to go home or to the hospital. A lot of you out there are mothers, more of you at some point in life want to be mothers, have a family.

You meet a new Dominant on line and you plan on meeting. He wants you to wear the shortest skirt you have with no panties, and if you agree your chances of being raped have just jumped up drastically , not meeting in a public setting your numbers have just jumped up even more.

It is a good feeling when you think your about to meet the one, you have probably been searching for sometime and most of the Doms you have been talking to are not local.

Wearing a short skirt with no panties does not have anything to do with being submissive. Wearing a short skirt with no panties does not prove you are submissive.

Most of you at least end up sucking cock in the Doms car the first meeting, then there are some who even agree to get a room to start your training.

Think about this for a second you do not even know this man, you do not know anything about him, except what he has told you.  He has told you he has been in the lifestyle 5,10,15 or even 20 years.  Again this is what he has told you, and you have to believe him because you have not asked all the questions you were suppose to because you feared that you would upset him or make him mad.

When your sitting in the car and the Dom makes the statement , well lets start your training as he is unzipping his pants. Something in your head has to be thinking. This cannot be right, is this really part of training? The bad thing is you are not going to question your just going to do it. Now those who have been in the lifestyle for any amount of time will call his bluff or just tell him to fuck off.

You agree to get a room, with a man you have never met. Your chances of getting hurt has just shot up. Now you may or may not walkout. So what is your life worth? What is your family and friends worth?

You decide to play, you let this man you just met tie you down on the bed spread eagle, your gagged , you don’t have to be blindfolded just gagged. What the fuck is going through your mind right about now?

If you have done any kind of real research then you would know that no respectable Dominant would even go through a scenario like this. You would know, no real dominant would of even brought play into the picture on the first meeting.

Some of you have played just like the above mentioned and you came out okay, but some of you know exactly what I am talking about, some of you have been used and raped. Those of you who walked out okay, you can be thankful , those of you who have been raped you have to carry that memory the rest of your life. While I have met a few it did not bother I have met those who it tortured. Even after the bad they still continued down the same path, with the same experiences.

Meeting a Dom for the first time, going to a room with him, allowing him to tie you up, gagging you, make you fair game. Your chances of being hurt is now about 50/50 maybe more like 70/30 or even 80/20.

I had a friend who had been talking to a Dom on line for a while and agreed to meet him. The first meeting yep a room. They could not go back to his house because he was married. Once finished the bed covered in blood, he told her to get cleaned up and get the fuck out, when she came out of the bathroom he was gone. The bad thing is she did not even know his real name. The only thing she knew was he was married, and did not find out until that night.

You cannot let your emotions run your life. Entering any type of relationship requires a great deal of thought, but to enter a BDSM relationship where the trust factor is so great. Okay any type of relationship requires trust, but to allow someone to tie you up, someone you just met, it just does not make sense.

Okay I will back track a little here, there are some Doms who are not active in the local community, while this maybe true, they do know others in the lifestyle, and these are questions that should be asked. For a Dominant to say he has been in the lifestyle for ten years and not know anyone, yea that does not carry to much weight, but if your new then why would you even wonder how that is possible.

Good things comes to those who wait, anytime you make a rush to judgement the outcome is rarely good. A good thought out plan will serve you much better, but you have to stick to that plan.

You can save yourself a lot of heartache , you can save yourself a lot of drama, and problems, but most of all you can keep yourself from being hurt

A D’s or M’s relationship can be very rewarding, it can be very exciting, it can be everything you have ever imagined and more, I know I am living the dream. The difference is I had a much thought out plan.

Safety should be your first concern, and submitting to someone on the first meeting is not being safe.

Always make that safe call………

Image

Vile

 

Questions You Should Ask A New Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Be who you are, being used, chat room, Coming Soon Vile Radio, commitment, communication, Discipline, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Protocol, Questions You Should Ask A New Dominant, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, submissive on May 10, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You Leave your house getting ready to meet a Dominant you have met on line. There are a lot of questions that should of been asked prior to meeting but these are best when face to face. You must have direct eye contact. Never let a Dominant tell you that you are not allowed to have any eyes contact. Number one that is just his ego, and two you have not submitted to him as of yet. Never let a Dominant tell you what to wear on the first meeting.

At this point in the meeting it is very important to be yourself , because you are not yourself it will come out in the laundry. Explain if he brings anything up about BDSM that you would like to get to know him as a friend first.

These questions came from

http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/subbie2.html

1 How long have you been in the BDSM Lifestyle ? and what led you to the lifestyle ?

2 Do you plan to have more than one slave or submissive online or offline ?

3 What kind of relationship are you looking for ? Short Term or Long term ?

4 How much time are you willing to devote to training a new submissive ? How much of my time would you require in return ? Would we have daily contact ?

5 Do you indulge in these pleasures with men and women? If so what safety precautions do you take?

6 What type of training have you had to be a Dominant in a relationship ? Have you trained any Submissive who were new to the lifestyle ?

7 What are some of your basic philosophies when it comes to BDSM ?

8 Ahhh What are your rules ? What are your protocols ? What do you require of your slave and yourself ?

9 What kind of structured training do you prefer to use ? What kind of discipline or punishments do you use when rules are broken ?

10 Last and this is the most important. Do you have an references and may I contact them? I can tell you I have references a page long. every Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for any time will have as well.

Author unknown

I did change up somethings and I left a few out but you can touch base on the link I am going to provide.  These were real questions asked by a submissive.

These are all valid questions, and questions that should be answered face to face, without any hesitation.  If he does not wish to answer your questions simply get up and leave. If he is not real he will play the Dom card on you, and try to put you in your place. Stand firm and do not back down.

You being safe is what matters, you having the relationship you need is what matters. You being happy is what matters.

Now for the good stuff. Vile radio launch date will be between July 1st and the 15th please spread the word I want everyone listening, you will be able to chat and call in. I want to blow the servers up……..

Have kinky fun and be safe Much love to all.

Vile

The Core Of BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe, slave, Submission, submissive, Trust on April 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Bondage , Discipline Sado , Masochism, and those words have branched off into many different area’s, but no matter what branch you are on or what your kinks are it boils down to one word and one word only. TRUST.

Without trust you cannot fully give yourself, without trust you cannot be who you truly need to be. Without trust you cannot achieve the high you need  , without trust you cannot find that one release you need to feel fulfilled. Because without trust you always have that wondering in the back of your mind. It runs even deeper if you are lied to, or mislead to believe something and you later find out everything was a lie, but at times even after the lie is exposed you feel trapped, because you have devoted so much time into building a relationship.

Most who are submissive or a slave are very needy, needy to the point you feel like a piece of Velcro. The neediness does not fully come out until you have entered the relationship, the submissive will become more dependent upon the dominant and the neediness will continue to grow.

I am not saying this is all who are submissive or slaves but for the most. So we as Dominants have to be prepared to take on such a task.

There are many who want to fill that Dominant role , but it is hard to separate what you truly need and what is a fantasy. Your thinking how awesome it would be to have a bitch at my beck and call. Getting my cock sucked when ever I want, sex anytime I want, but with your choices there are also consequences. Just like that old saying, Be careful what you ask for.

If it is just a fantasy one you have what you wanted you do not have a clue, what your suppose to do with the submissive. Then the needy comes in, the rules, the guidelines, the hourly check ins, talking on the phone, and making sure they are the center of your attention.

I have seen this happen when two enter a relationship as a Dominant and Submissive. They move in together and at first everything is going as planned but then things begin to change the real needy kicks in. It makes the Dominant feel somewhat over whelmed, and he is thinking I never signed up for all of this, I just wanted the sex and head. I did not want all of this responsibility, and slowly but surely the relationship begins to fall apart.

Entering a BDSM relationship is so much different than a vanilla, because the female is giving so much more, on the other hand the male is taking on much more responsibility, and he has to be willing to step up to the plate.

Many years I wanted to benefits but I never wanted the responsibility , the one thing on my mind was how many women I could nail. how many woman I could use. It was a lot easier than dating a vanilla chick, because a submissive was needy, and I could play off of her emotions, her needs and hurt. So I just acted, I acted like I cared, I acted like I wanted to be there and help. The truth was I just wanted her panties off, nothing more. There were times after I had used a month later I could not even recall their name, but the one thing I did was I broke the one thing that was needed and that was the TRUST that was giving to me. I did not ask for it, I did not want it but it was giving.

So I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years, probably much longer because growing up I knew I was different, but even then it was just using. I could not of giving a fuck about feelings , I did not care who I hurt, or what I had to do to get what I wanted, so for a very long time I lived one big LIE. Just like when I had Beverly tied to a tree, I had no feelings, I did not care. I got off on the humiliation, I got on on the using, and she took it because she had that trust. She was different like me, well not like me just different she did not fit in, but she thought I excepted her for who she was, and that was not the case, I was using her, and nothing more.

So when I give advice I am not just talking to hear myself talk, I have been there, I am giving you the male side of things. The only bad thing is some never want the TRUST, some just use, they feed off of using. That is how they get their rush, their high, because they can do things to you, they cannot do to others.

So if your thinking something is not right or you have a bad feeling about your relationship, you are probably right. You have to go with your gut feeling and not your heart, your heart will fuck you up every time.

Your afraid of being alone, you have the need to submit, you have insecurity’s maybe a low self esteem, you need someone to be in control, you need rules, you need to attention. You know the list can go on and on, but the bottom line here is, if you do not have the core down, you will continue to jump from Dom to Dom, and in the back of your mind you think it is you that is the problem and it is not. It is finding someone who will not betray your trust, someone who truly cares about your needs, someone who wants the same thing out of a relationship that you do. Most of you are just afraid of being alone, that is what it really boils down to the being alone part. So you sacrifice so much to get so little, and the little that you get is short lived, then your just a piece of ass and nothing more.

If you do not have the TRUST, you can have everything else in the world but without the TRUST you have nothing and you never will have nothing. .

A RELATIONSHIP WITH NO TRUST IS LIKE A CELL PHONE WITH NO SERVICE ALL YOU CAN DO IS PLAY GAMES.Not my quote.

Vile

 

So The Universe Gave Us A Dominant

Posted in Advice, anger, bdsm, BDSM Collar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dominant, Flogger, Love, Loyal, Patience, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe Word, slave, submissive, The Universe Gave Us A Dominant on March 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Universe looked down one morning and clearly saw the submissive was lost, so the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who can work a 50 hour work week and still keep his home in good running order, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who can be very loving, but strict when needed, and be able to control his temper and emotions and still remain strong, so the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who can implement rules and give structure , and make the home feel safe, and offer security with open arms. So the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who can talk on all levels, interact well with others , and offer his wisdom when needed. So the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who is good with rope, one who is able to tie a knot and do it well, a man who can be artistic while exploring the world of bondage. So the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who knows how to spank, and do it well, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who is as strong as a Bull , a man with the memory of an elephant , the wisdom of an owl, A man with enough knowledge to fill a terabyte hard drive , so the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said the submissive needs a leader, someone who is understanding, caring, loving, a man who is clearly in control, and not controlling, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who will put his submissive first no matter what , so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who will take what he wants but give much more in return, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who is skilled with a flogger, and know that spanking is meant to be erotic , so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man with a clear understanding of the true meaning of a collar, a man who knows a collar is earned and not giving. So the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man after hours of play who will provide aftercare, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who can stand tall and not back down, a man who can debate with the best and still remain calm, cool , and collective, and walk away proud no matter the outcome. So the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who will hold his submissive when things do not go right, a man who will provide positive reinforcement, and make everything alright. So the universe gave us the Dominant.

Image

Vile

It Is Not Always The Dominant’s Fault

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, consistent, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Dating, Dominant, Face Fucking, Fake Dominants, Lie, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting your new Dom/Master, micromanage, Micromanagement, mistakes, morals, Patience, Protocol, references, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, sex, slave, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on March 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A year and a half I have been ragging on other Dominants because of abuse. The fake Dominants who lurk in the shadows waiting for the perfect prey to come along.

Even those who are Submissive or a Slave has said well this Dom is a fake that Dom is a fake, but that is not always the case. There are those few times the submissive has just read someone wrong.

When you first meet a Dom, or a Daddy, maybe a Master, they all have a series of questions they ask you. When a question is asked they want a straight forward answer. They want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When asked questions you give a direct answer, and sometimes it is good to add if you see the need, or you want the conversation to take a different avenue.

If your asked a question or he makes a statement and you agree, you have just started digging yourself a hole, and unless you do something to correct it, your hole will continue to get deeper, because this is your train of thought.

When you speak about limits stand firm on your hard limits. Do you like anal sex ? No I do not that is a hard limit. If you do not like Anal sex say so? Do you enjoy pain ? No Pain is a very hard limits.  If pain is truly a hard limit say so. Do not say something that may have a bad outcome if you choose to enter such a relationship.

This is Vile.

Why do you want to be a Slave. I am looking right in her eyes waiting for a reply. I also want full eye contact.

When did you first become interested in the lifestyle ? Wait for answer.

How many Doms or Masters have you been with and what happened ? May I contact them ? And I have contacted other Masters.

How do you see yourself in an M’s relationship on a daily basis ?

The Slave What are my rules ? Vile I do not know as of yet I do not know you well enough to give or enforce any rules..

Vile

Before we go any further let me explain who I am. I am looking for a slave with little to no limits. I am looking for a slave who wants to be completely owned.  Sex is when I want and need, you have three holes and I plan to use all of them is that understood ? If the answer is no to anyone of those the conversation is over because I Vile will not bend.

You will follow my rules once I know you well enough to start implementing them is that understood ? Again the answer must be yes, looking at me in the eyes.

You will follow my protocols to a T without question,  is that understood ? What are your protocols ? I then say I am simple I have three that will be followed 1 2 3 I may add more as I see fit.

Vile

I do not share, you must remain loyal at all times is that understood ? Again the answer must be yes.

Are you into pain ? The Slave no I am not, good because I am not either. If her answer would of been yes that would of ended the conversation. Why ? Because that was something I could no provide her.

Vile

What are your needs ? What is it you need to be a slave on a daily basis ?  Very important questions there, again you must give a straight answer. You should already have every answer in your head by the time you meet someone. You should have a fucking list a mile long.

Vile

I am going to go one more step. In my home there has to be a bitch, you would be my slave, I would owne you without question, you are to follow. You do not have the right to question me and the word no never comes out of your mouth, unless.

There is an unless and a exception to the rule. If the submissive or slave sees their owner is making a mistake and it will effect the house, then they have the right to question, and they have the right to know what is going to be done to fix the problem.

Vile

Have you understood everything ? Did I leave anything out ? Do I need to cover anything I said again?

It is very important for the Dominant to be very clear when he is explaining his need, his rules and protocols. It should be explained in such a manner that he leaves no rock un-turned.

Vile

Do you have any questions or comments, or something you would like to share?

Answer I need all of the above, but I need to be micromanaged . WHoa , she just through in a wrench into my thinking process, that was something I was not expecting, so now my brain has just hit Mach one.

Vile

Micromanaged as in ? I want you to completely run my life, including my daily task, what I eat, when I sleep, when I shower, what I wear, everything.

Vile

Well um hmmm let me think. This was something that caught me totally off guard.

See now the Slave has the upper hand, the slave is now in control of the conversation.

Vile

That is something I am going to have to think about. I did not give a reason, I did not have to.

Vile

So if I agree to your terms and you agree to mine, your thinking maybe we should try to move forward is that correct ?

If I had agreed to her terms right then and there I would of been stuck, or played the micromanage part until I felt like I had enough control so I could back off.

I had to think about that part for a day. That would be taking a very large step. Before I could commit I had to come up with a plan, I even tried consulting with or Dominants, and their answer was man fuck that shit.

I however felt we had enough in common that I just might be up for such a task.

Everybody is not going to have the same questions, or the same needs, but you get the idea.

If you give the Dom a false answer or your just saying yes to please, you are like the Titanic you will sink and you will sink fast, and there are no life boats.

Sex is not the main road in a relationship, but if someone answered no to anyone of mine, the conversation was over, done. In the past I had giving in and it did not last. Why ? Because I was not upfront and I lied.

Be prepared, ask questions, do not be afraid to say I will not or afraid to use the word no. If the Dominant gets up and walks out, then it was not meant to be.

That goes the same with the Submissive or Slave, you to should get up and walk out. Kick the dirt and move on

It is not always the Dominants fault.

If a Dominant tells you when you are meeting with him, and he says your not allowed to have any eye contact. Tell him to go fuck himself. He does not have that right. If you agree you are already submitting , at this point that is not where you want to be.

Image

Vile

Leash Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Behavior Modification, Collar, collar and leash, Collars, communication, Consensual, control, Discipline, Dominants, events, FaceBook, https://www.facebook.com/groups/230204630487640/244088752432561/?notif_t=like, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Masters, poly slaves, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Safe, slave, Slave Leash Training, Submission, submissive on February 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many laugh at the idea when someone says I am going to Leash train my Slave or Submissive. The fact is, if the two are very serious about the lifestyle. The leash can have a great impact on the Slave/ Submissive.

Just as the Collar has a great emotional impact, once it is placed around the neck. The same goes when the leash is added. Now there is someone to guide you. Someone is not in full control of your movements.

The Master would teach commands not with words but with movements of the leash. Up and down are the two basic. Pulling down on the leash indicates you wish for yours to kneel, pulling up indicates you wish for them to stand. .

The Master should always hold the leash with the dominant hand. This is to insure he has full control. Teaching the slave the different movements without speaking is not as easy as it sounds. You are teaching the Slave/Submissive to follow on your commands without speaking. It would be almost the same as Pony training.

Any training for that matter you as the Dominant has to stay consistent in your training. Once you implement a rule or protocol , then you stay on that path. Staying on a path you set helps set standards. More so the Submissive/Slave knows what is expected.

To take it one step farther You can use cuffs, behind their back. This give the Master total control, and the Slave/Submissive will have to pay attention to your commands. The commands are much like the commands you would give if you use slave positions in your relationship. I do not recommend most of the positions on a daily basis, but the Slave/ Submissive will pick up on one or two the Master likes and will use without being told.

The other day Arianna and I was talking and I was going to change the way she greeted me. She did greet me on knees bent forward with arms stretched out face down. I instructed her I now wanted slave position # 2 The same but facing away from me hands on ass spreading apart. She did as instructed but later explained she did not get the same feeling. In the first position she felt more like a slave and explained while in that position she had a big grin on her face because I was home, and she could not wait to see me.  So after we talked I made that change. It truly makes Arianna proud to kneel and wait for me to walk through the door. That my friend is devotion. This is not when she feels like it, the greeting is everyday. I expect no less from my Slave.

While leash training when you are speaking all eyes should be on you. You can tell when someone is listening and when they are not and you make the corrections with a slight pull on the Leash.

Now depending on who you are and how open you are about your lifestyle. You may want to keep the Leash play just at home. You may want to wear the Leash at local BDSM events such as munchs. Or where someone is giving a Demo, on rope or maybe spanking.

You may feel comfortable wearing your leash in public. Many years ago during a bile week event here in Daytona Beach I walked Chong down Main Street with a collar and Leash on. Up one side and down the other, and not one person made a comment. People took pictures but no one said anything. I did not really expect any comments, but during bike week I have seen way crazier shit than some bitch wearing a collar and leash. You may not want to be seen in public, and that is fine.

I have not giving much thought to training Arianna with a Leash. She has enough on her plate, and to add anymore at this time would not be fair to her. I have giving it some thought in the past, and I may very well here in the future.

The Collar once put around their neck gives them a feeling of being complete. They have worked so hard to earn. They have giving more in six months to a year than they have ever giving. I cannot even imagine the rush that goes through ones mind once the collar is put on. There is way more than just the feeling of being owned.

Then you add the Leash. You the Dominant are now in full control. If the Slave or Submissive is in the right mindset it will take them places they have never been before. Total power exchange. They now know they must follow without question.

This is also a type of Behavior Modification, you are giving a different mindset. Used on a daily basis they will soon adapt, and will most likely welcome the Leash when you bring it out.

One thing you never use is a choker collar, never, never , never.

Trust me it puts them in a different place.

Hey check out my friend on facebook she has an awesome group. Hers is more active than my group is you will have a lot of fun.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/230204630487640/244088752432561/?notif_t=like

Image

Image

Image

Vile