Archive for the Protocol Category

Goals In BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Commit, commitment, communication, control, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, positive reinforcement, Protocol, punish, Punishment, Rules, self confidence, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

We should all have goals in life and we as Dominants or Masters need to set goals for our property being Submissive or Slave.

The goals come from training , and again this is just my point of view , what works for me may not work for another Dom.

What makes our world so awesome is we can be who we want when we want. Our level of communication is just incredible.

As with anything though we all have to take steps. A new Dominant or Master has to take steps, it is a progression progress.

Where things blow up or get out of hand , an inexperienced Dom tries to jump in with both feet in the fire and it blows up in his face.

Just as we set goals for our property we have to set our own goals for us.
Where do we want to be? What type of relationship do we want ? Do we want a submissive or a slave? Where do we want to be a year from now ?
These are steps that we need to think about before we start walking. Yes that even means putting a plan into place and following that plan.

What is more important is when you set your goals you stick to them , and one by one you complete each goal, it is not rocket science and it is much easier than most make it out to be.
The downside of everything is it takes work because nothing is handed to you, no one can complete your goals for you.

So you can look and act like you know what your doing or you can look like a complete idiot.

Our partners , our submissive’s our Slaves should always come first no matter what. We put those who serve in front of everything else or anybody else and that includes family.

Honesty and integrity first and for most , we want respect but we have to show it first. We must be truthful from the start. If you start out your relationship with a lie then your whole relationship is a lie , and you can never go back.

One of the first things we tell someone we just met is , you must always be truthful, always tell the truth no matter what. We want honesty out of our property but we don’t want to give the same in return. Although one is Dominant and one is Submissive it is not a one way street.

Rules , Structure , Protocols and Goals they all fall into place. They key to what I just stated also falls under consistency , and being consistent on a daily basis.

You want someone to follow you , you want someone to submit to you , you want someone to turn over control, well buddy you gotta step up to the plate and promise you can and will step up and you will guide them every step of the way..

When we train we train to fit our needs, we train to fit our wants so it is only fair we give back more than we take. If we take a 100 % we should give back 150% and on a daily basis.

Goals are set for self improvement , goals are set to help in everyday life. Goals can be small or as big as going back to school.
Goals can be from getting up at a certain time, completing small task through out the day.

All goals should be met with positive reinforcement, that a girl , maybe some other small reward.

Some not all but some come with problems , be it self esteem , home life , daily life or just smothered in personal problems, maybe depression or other types of illnesses.
Before anything we should take the time to help mend what ever is going on before we enter the D’s or M’s aspect of the relationship.

The two should sit down and discuss goals and why they are needed. Goals how ever should not be a punishable offense. Goals and positive Reinforcement does not equal being punished.

You know I have spoken about how I had roommates prior to meeting Ariannna. I did so mainly because I wanted the company someone I could sit down to dinner with.

One the female who is a very dear friend was and is very sick, and suffers from depression, a lot of things going on. She head no insurance not physically able to work, so I set goals for her.

I walked her through each and every process. First I got her the medical attention she needed , I then made sure she went to counseling , medication for her depression , then a lawyer and last disability. All of these were goals and they were started and completed.
In the end she messed somethings up and lost some , but in a way it was her fault and in a way it was not.
Her Boyfriend is worthless , he is like a screen door on a submarine , he gives no support , did not even care until the day she was receiving her check from SSI.
Helping her is more of a burden to him not to mention the mental abuse.
I did what I felt I had to , and while there were road blocks we completed each task , until things fell into place.

If we set goals then we should be there to help , we should be there to guide , and give advice when needed.
You cannot treat a goal like a rule , because it is no longer a goal. Goals are meant for self improvement.
What we as Dominants or Masters want is to see ours grow inside and out, we want to build ours up , even if it means just maintaining their health , making sure they are stable.

Once you reach that goal you need to continue support, so we can maintain that level , and again that comes with positive reinforcement.

So if you are in a relationship and there are no such plans in play , and your relationship is just about rules and being punished , then maybe your best interest does not come into play…..

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Vile

You Cannot Demand Submission

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dominants, In Search Of A Master, Local events, Master, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know you can spot the wannabe’s from a far distance. You can spot the fakes like an apple in an orange basket.

Sometimes it can be hard to separate the two if your just entering the lifestyle.

No one has the right to tell you that you have to call someone Sir , Master or Daddy.
A title is just that a title, at any rate it should be earned. Someone who demands such a thing has probably spent hours in front of a bathroom mirror practicing those words, You can call me Sir. You can call me Master.

Second you should NEVER I mean NEVER send anyone nudes pics of yourself. If you are just meeting this guy you knowing nothing of him, and you could wake up one morning and find yourself pasted all over the Internet.

No real Dominant would even think of asking of such a thing, and it really serves no meaning at all. There is really no purpose for such a request, this falls back under the call me Sir thing.

Many of you are intimidated when you first meet someone. Your meeting your first real Dominant. Your meeting someone you hope to spend the rest of your life with.
Being afraid or intimidated is no way to start off, so if you have these feelings you need to put off meeting until you feel relaxed.
Intimidation does not equal submission but many will try once they figure you out.

One of the main problems is the submissive will open up to much, giving out to much information. Information about your personal life, problems you may have financially , or even health, and family. Information can include problems at work, your insecurities , low self esteem.

The Dominant now goes into the rescuer mode, he is now the Knight on the white horse, and you see him as your guiding light.

This in the end makes you a very easy target. He will probably have track words he uses. He will tell you all the things you need to hear.

The first month everything goes well , you are the center of attention and you are eating it up.
Then things slowly begin to change and your relationship moves into what I call a dark area.

The Knight on the white horse is no longer the soft and gentle Dominant he was when you first met. Your thoughts or needs become less of a need to him. He then begins to isolate you, telling you , you do not need anyone else but me, thus cutting your friends off then your family.

He has changed , his temper now comes out , your told you do not know what your saying. You are made to think your are worthless, and you would be nothing without him.
Look at what Ive done for you ? You should appreciate the time I have spent with you, you should be thankful instead of being so inconsiderate.

Many of you have heard this before , and you fixed it by leaving , but many are still in such of a relationship , and your not sure how to get out.

One thing that is for sure you should always come first no matter what. Your Dominant should drop what ever he is doing and come when needed without question.

He should want to know what your thinking , what your feelings are , what can be done to put you in a better place.

When someone demands you respect them , or demand you call them Sir or Master their head is not in the right place.

You need to do your research , you need to talk to people, but most importantly you need to get out in the local community , get to know people.
The truth is you will be treated more like family than you ever have, you will find those who are willing to guide you as well as support you.

The one thing that many of you do not fully understand is , you have the right to say NO. You are a submissive the ball is in your court just as much as it is his.
You have the right to ask questions , and you have the right to get the answer you want. You have the right to question his intentions.

One thing I firmly believe in , is you should have all of your problems worked out before entering a new relationship. It is not fair to dump your garbage trunk on someones lap , and expect them to fix it. You created a mess you fix it.
You would be pretty upset if you entered a relationship with a new Dom to find out his life was in a total wreck.
Then you have to grab a broom and dust pan and help him clean up his mess, it is just not fair…

A little planning goes a very long way..

After all your goal is to earn your collar

Image

Vile

My Take On Online BDSM Relationship

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Session, Bipolar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, counselor or Psychiatrists, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, endorphin's, http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Online Collar, Online Dominanrt, Protocol, psychiatrist, relationships, Rules, session, slave, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive, submit with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I just read an excellent post from… http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/

While I understood much of it there were a few things that were not covered so I wanted to touch base on somethings.

I myself have never been in a online relationship , I have tried and it does nothing for me.
I am strictly hands on and I have never had the desire to have an M’s relationship via the internet.

I have never been a picture collector as well . I myself find it very degrading and most will send pictures just to please , okay that is off topic.

While I can see how one a submissive or slave could reach that endorphin release at that moment and time , I would think that Sub-Drop would begin right after the laptop is powered off.

While I do believe Sub-Drop can be controlled it would not be able to be controlled if you were 500 miles away.

Sub-Drop requires a great deal of emotional understanding , communication and being physical , I mean as far as holding.
Communication is huge right after play or having a session, because you the Dominant wants to pick their brain. How do you feel right now ? What are your thoughts right now ? What were your thoughts during play? How were you feeling ? It just goes on and on.
To be online and then having to power off until the next session, I would imagine it would be pretty lonely.

While I can see the high and the thrill of remaining anonymous while sitting at your keyboard , I can see the downs as well as some dangers.

Even for a new comer there are things that have to be considered. Someones health , how stable are they? Are they taking any medications? do they suffer any type of depression? Does their depression go deeper maybe bipolar. Maybe they hurt themselves when alone or depressed.

I do know of many who have met online and while some have turned out good most have failed.

I have also found many online Dominants are single , and there has to be a reason. Maybe online is a bit easier, there is not as much responsibility when having an online relationship, you do not have the communication needs online like you do in a physical relationship. Then there is a lack of commitment , not having to commit causes less stress.

If one relationship does not work out then I see the advantage of moving on to another and being able to rather quickly.

Being able to remain anonymous means you can be who you want, but so can the submissive, and unless you know their mental state someone could get hurt.
I do know someone will not open up about something so personal online and what happens with the laptop fires up could not have a good turn out.

I have never figured out how you can own someone and just be online. I have never figured out, when people speak of an online collar.

You never really have any control. The only control you have is the control your being told you have. You have no structure or stability with in the relationship. You cannot enforce rules on any level, you are having to go by what your being told.

I do know most online relationships turn sexual in a very short amount of time, and the Dominant is soon demanding pictures and videos. That I never understood since that is not what we are suppose to be about.

Although as Dominants we should never be rescuers , we are here to help. In many cases although we do not have a PHD we are at times a psychiatrist , we are a best friend , we give advice , we communicate , and we offer options based on our experience.

We provide the stability a sub or slave needs in their life, and in a sense we make everything alright. We take away the deep pain and the feeling of not being able to feel.

I have a saying I have used for many years. Come and Let me hold you so I can feel your pain , and today I believe that statement to be true you can feel someones hurt, you can feel someones needs but more so you can feel love.

Like Ive said I have never had an online relationship and I am 51 years old. Ive never wanted an online relationship, again because I am hands on…

While I do believe you can learn a lot online, a submissive or slave can never lern, what it is like to be in a physical relationship.

I found a lot of good from the post ……

http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/

I just wanted to add my side..

brad

Much Love Vile

I want Your Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 128 Basic rules, 24/7, 50 Shades Of Grey, abuse, Acceptance, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Cheating Dominant, codependent, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, controlling, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, fucking, Married Dominant, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocol, Protocols, pussy, relationships, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on October 31, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Taking control over someones life is a huge responsibility. Turning your life over to someone takes a lot of trust.

Taking over someones life requires the Dominant to devote a great deal of time. Turning your life over to someone requires you to be open and truthful and having the ability to be able to communicate.

Taking control over someones life requires the Dominant to be truthful, and honesty and having the ability to communicate. Turning yourself over to someone requires you to give yourself 100%, 100% of the time.

The Dominant runs the show. The way the relationship turns out is soly on the Dominants shoulders.
The only exception would be if the Slave or submissive does not have the heart, or the will to enter such a relationship.

The Dominant sets the pace, the Dominant sets the standards, the Dominant sets the protocols , and The Dominant sets the rules.

Before entering such a relationship the Slave or Submissive has to be very clear about their needs. They need to be very clear as to what it would take for them to be able to function in such a relationship. What do you need in a D’s Or M’s relationship? What are your goals within a relationship? What do you expect out of your Dominant in a relationship?

Just as I find the 128 rules to be a fucking joke, I find Anal training by web cam to be a fucking joke, or meeting with no panties.
The above is something a 20 year old Dominant would expect, because it is then about being controlling and not in control.

Your fucking your ass on a web cam so some dude can jack off, and once you turn your computer off, you will crawl up in your bed alone and cry yourself to sleep.

The above is in no way, a way to gain someone submission. The above is no way to prove you are the Master Of disaster , man slayer woman player. Starting out training someone to suck your cock is not training.

The Dominant says well I am poly. The submissive thinks for a minute and finely says well you know I prefer a one on on, she never says she is not, I prefer.
What you have done then is opened a door you the submissive cannot close. If your not poly say it. If the Dominant gets up and walks out so fucking what.

Your having a problem finding the right Dominant or Master, I can honestly tell you that is your fault and no one Else’s , yes you the Slave or Submissive are the one to blame.

How can that be Vile ? How can it be my fault ? I am insulted by your remarks.

I am going to give you two main reasons. One your are not completely honest with yourself and who you are. Two you are not honest with the Dominant when you first meet him.

If you feel completely comfortable when you first meet then stay and see where it goes. If your first meeting is about fucking or sucking cock, get up and leave.
If you feel intimidated when you first meet get up and leave, because Domination through intimidation is no way to start a successful relationship.

These are my limits, um I do not do anal, and I am not into pain. Your limits are duly noted, and I will respect your limits.
If the limits are pushed and you are questioned, again tell the Dominant thank you and get up and walk the fuck out.

Vile that would be me, I never question limits, I never ask why? I never say well lets try. I never say well we can do someone anal training. I never say well while your at home why don’t you try.

I have a very good reason as to why I never bring it up again and it is so fucking simple you can be smarter than a 5th grader.

Because if you the Dominant are who you say you are, you do what you say your going to do, you are completely honest, and you remain consistent.
Now those are just a few of the keys, those are the keys that will open the door to submission, and as your relationship grows, and you continue your communication. Here it comes,,,,, wait for it, it is coming, wait for it.

Bam her submission will grow deeper, she will trust more, she will want to follow. In the end she will want to give you everything you need.
The minute you start to question someones limits, that is the time the trust issues come into play, and your relationship may or may not survive, if it does you are still not getting 100% and you never will, because you went back on your word, and that means you lied.

If you the Dominant are who you say you are. If you the Dominant does not have any anger issues. If you the Dominant are truthful and honest, and you do what you say your going to do, there is no end to the submission, there are no limits, well within reason.

I have something I live by. I never ask someone to do something I have not already done or I would not do. That includes needle play which I will admit I am very good at.
Needle play however is a very hard limit for Arianna and I fully respect that. Even if she came to me and wanted to try I would probably not because I know her fear of needles.

Your submission can and will grow under the right hands , but it depends on many factors, it also depends on what you want out of your relationship.

The start is the getting to know each other prior to any type of play, and you need to make it a point up front that is your intentions, getting to know each other.

In the past I have ragged on married men who cheat, I have also explained how they use you as an escape , an escape into a fantasy world they cannot have at home.
The things they are looking for is things their wives will not do, or they are to ashamed to bring the subject up.

Firs thing is he will not leave his wife, this is more true if he has kids. He is not going to lose his house and everything else, including paying child support.
What he has at home is security, he has someone who makes sure all the bills are paid, someone to cook and clean house, do laundry, and fuck from time to time.
You are there to fill the gap, you are there for one thing and one thing only, the Kink.

Entering a relationship any relationship for that matter you want to be number one, not two or three, number one.

Seeing a weekend warrior you are not getting anything out of the lifestyle. At the end of the day after a couple of hours of play you get in your car and drive home alone, you also wake up alone, and you go to bed alone.

You are now a piece of the pie, you are not the whole pie, just a slice, and you will continue being a slice until you figure out you have been played.

Some will play the fear game with you, the intimidation game and you fall for it. That is no way to start out a relationship. If you cannot communicate you have nothing.

You who are single it is not hard to find a partner, and it is easier to find the right partner, but you have to play the game of patience. Patience is the key and if you follow your own rules, your own guidelines , your own instinct it will happen. If at anytime you feel something is not right when you meet someone, excuse yourself and leave, you have lost nothing but an hour or so, which could of turned into months of drama and heartache.

I do not want to demand submission , I do not want to tell you to call me Sir Or Master , I want to earn it. When you kneel in front of me I want it to be because it is a need for you not just to please. I want you to crawl to me because you have the need.

Since the 50 shades epidemic , Doms have sprouted up like weeds , I call these Doms Kia Reo’s.
They have cheap payments, high maintenance , and very undependable.

I would hope you would want more out of a relationship , I would hope you think your better than that.

BDSM is not about sex , BDSM is not about learning how to suck cock, or train your ass.

BDSM is about respect, structure , communication , and finding your submission. Yea the kink is nice but you should take small steps.
Meeting someone in a motel once or twice a month is just kink and your being used. I know some are fine with this type of arrangement and if that is your game and your not looking for anything more , then more power to you.

I want everything you said you would not do when I first met you, no pressure no questions. I want to get you to that point, I want you to have the need to please.
This is done by being who you said you were, and doing what you promised. This is done by providing the structure , the stability , and the security you promised.

It is not a game , it is about being yourself.

mind

vile

If I Control Your Mind

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, being used, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Patience, Protocol, Respect, Rules, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

How much of her submission do you want ? Have you ever wanted a Slave or submissive who has no inhibitions? Have you ever wanted a slave or submissive who is 100% compliant ?
Have you ever wanted a relationship where the word argue is not in either ones vocabulary?
Have you ever wanted a Docile pet, Baby Girl, submissive or slave ?
Do you want someone who will follow you without question ?

The truth is you can have all of the above and more. The bad news is it takes a little work on your part, the Dominant, yes you are going to have to put in a little effort.

You know I was chatting with a Dom on Facebook the other day, and he told me his life was basically a wreck, and when I told him he needed a plan, he laughed at me. He laughed and he meant it.

If you the Dominant enters a relationship and you are true about what you want and need, and your willing to put your slave or submissive first, dedicate the time that is needed, you can have anything you want, and I do mean anything, and without question.

Some of you are going to say dude your full of shit, there is no such thing as a relationship like that is there?
I am here to tell you I am living the dream, and you the Dominant can live the dream as well.

BDSM is not about pain or how many bruises you can leave. BDSM is not about humiliation. BDSM is not about barking orders. Most of all BDSM is not about demanding respect or submission, it is about earning both.

You can never demand submission, it does not work that way, but some have it in their mind, I am Dominant and you will submit.
You may luck out and find a submissive who is down and out with a low self esteem, who will follow you for a short time, and meet your silly demands, but that bull shit is so short lived.

Control, that word openings up a whole new world. If your truly in control of yourself, your life, your surroundings the moon is the limit.
Being in full control, you will earn respect, you will earn the right to be called Sir, or Daddy even Master. Those titles what ever they are worth are earned. If you have to demand they mean nothing, nothing at all.

So we go a little deeper, instead of telling someone to crawl to you, or having trouble enforcing rules, not wanting to follow rules.
Why not have someone who wants to crawl to you, or someone who has the need to follow rules, the need to please ?

A D’s or M’s relationship is really easy, it does not require any drama, , no yelling, no getting angry and losing your temper. Just being who you say you are, just doing what you say your going to do, and keep your word, and be nothing but truthful….

Being truthful will help you earn the trust that is needed, and earning the trust will also lead to submission.

One thing that gets to me, is a Dom will say you must always be truthful and he is living a lie. You cannot expect someone to be someone if you are not who you are suppose to be…

This strategy will not only work is a D’s or M’s relationship but much of this can work in a vanilla relationship.

We as men, Dominant or not, we have to value our partner , we have to respect and be thankful for who and what they are, because in the end they are the only ones who will have our back in a time of need.

If you control their mind , for the most as well all know BDSM is mental, BDSM is communication, BDSM is about control and not controlling, BDSM is about having patience, BDSM is about understanding and caring about ones needs.

Being able to fully understand your partner and what makes them tick.
Being able to let your partner rant or share their thoughts without getting angry. Being able to understand when they are feeling funky and just letting them alone for a while.
You would not believe how many arguments could be avoided by using this practice.

You have to learn when it is okay to ignore certain situations and when some needs to be addressed.

I screw everything up, it is all my fault, I did it, I cant do anything right. Come on you have all heard this.
There are times when you just stay quite and let things pass, instead of drilling to find out what is wrong.

I mentioned how important the journal is, this gives the Dominant a great tool to find out where his slave or submissive is coming from.

Communication, several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind. She knows this is free time, she can share her thoughts and we talk about them.
Even if it is something that was brought up before, we should be open to talk about it.
Well we have already talked about that so there is no need to bring it up again.
Sure there is and it may have greater importance this time around.

This is how we access the open communication. The slave or sub will feel they can now talk about anything and everything.
This is also a step in the right direction when it comes to trusting.

Although we want to know what they are thinking, we want to know why they are thinking it. I know it sounds complicated but it is really not.

I mentioned the first 90 days of training. The training process is more effective if the two are living together.
Reason being there has to be some form of consistency while training if not , the process can take much longer. The 90 days does not mean training is completed because it never really ends.
As we grow we learn, and the more we learn the more we share. We also want our property to grow as well.

Living together allows you to put rules and protocols in place and the Dominant can be sure they are being followed.

If you the Dominant are in the right frame of mind, your property will want to follow without question.

Getting into the mind that is where you want to be. You should know your property inside out. You want to learn things they have never told anyone else.

Whether you know it or not when you the Dominant shows anger this is a weakness, and it is a weakness they slave or submissive will use against you.
These are buttons that can be pushed and will be pushed. Anger controlling anger take a lot of control and self training.
You want to figure the slave or sub out, what makes them tick, their thoughts , their needs, but if they ever figure you out, it is game over, and showing your anger, and being abusive, be it verbal, mental or physical, you just might as well pack up your bags.
Being happy in a relationship is one thing, but a submissive no matter how happy they may be if they are not getting what they need, it will be found somewhere else.
I know I am speaking from experience. Once you lose that control, it is nearly impossible to regain, I know I lost.
The best way to start is to think before you speak, think about how it is going to sound coming out of your mouth.

An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, that is true, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. So thinking before we speak, taking in that deep breath, really makes a world of difference.

The calmer your are, the more in control you are, the greater the submission will grow.

What many of us fail to see is there is no right way, we all have different needs, finding the right partner to fill that void is the right way.
The last thing we should do or want to do is try to change someone. We can improve but to change is not fair…

mind

Vile

I Can’t Feel Sorry For You

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, BDSM 101, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Dominant, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Giving Head, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock on September 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I do try and give advice, the advice I give it from a males point of view. I am not here to lie to you , nor do I have a reason to lie. People lie because they have something to gain.
I do not even know you, so if you think about it I have zero anything to gain. Did that make sense ?
Why do I share with you? Because I do not want you to go through some of the things women have gone through with me in the past.
I have been on the predators side, I have been on the hunt for easy prey. I knew who and what to look for. I would use and use until I grew tired of you, or maybe I would just get tired of you being fucking needy, or your whining got on my nerves. Maybe I fed off of your self pity to get what I wanted, nah I did, but you can only eat so much, and the same old food gets tiring.
Just because I fucked you did not mean I liked you, just because I fucked you did not mean I wanted you around.

This is why it is important to ask questions, this is why there are people out here that will give you advice and good advice. It is up to you to decide if your going to listen, or your just going to take the ball and run.

What hurts is being lied to, what hurts more is being led on to believe something that will never happen or come to light.

You know when your sitting across the table talking if you are being lied to or not, or being fed a bunch of bull shit, you know this but there is something in your head that pushes the ignore button.

I blog because I want to share, I blog because it is an outlet, it is my place to come when I just want to get away. No one has ever seen me post anything that is negative about the way my life is going, or how fucked up my day is, or how fucked up my life is.

So why would you want to get on here and blog about how fucked up things are, after you have been told ? You asked others for their opinion, you asked for advice on what you should do, you did not listen, and then here we go with the poor me blog.

Everyone of you are better than that, everyone of you are smarter than that. Most of you have made some good friends on here, I know I have.

While it is true we want to know how your day is going, we want the awesome.

The reason Arianna never watches the news anymore is just because all there is , is bad news very little good.

You know what you want out of life, and you are all to good to settle for less.

BDSM in a D’s or M’s relationship for the most is a mind thing, getting in your head, once that happens, man it is so hard to break away.

I lost a good friend last month to suicide, very young a whole lot of life ahead of her, but for her it was easier to check out.

Hook up with a good friend stay with them and in a time of need pick up that phone. This is no game, and it is unfortunate there are those out there that do not care, if your here tomorrow or not.

Game plan you have to have a game plan going into a D’s or M’s relationship, if you do not have a plan, or any expectations you will fail. The question is how many years do you want to waste, how much time do you want to throw away on something your not sure about.

If you ask for advice, and most of the time you ask more than one person, because your first answer is not what you want to hear so you move from one to another hoping someone will say what you want to hear. The bad news is if they tell you what you want to hear, it may be bad advice..

If your in a bad relationship, you need to communicate, you also need to put your foot down and tell them you want a time limit on when things are going to be fixed, because if they are not, you are walking.

You have to ask yourself a few questions. Why am I doing thing? Why am I allowing me to put myself through this mess? Why am I allowing someone to use me?

You have to want to stand up for yourself, you have to have a need and a goal in life..

You Baby Girls out there. You should have goals, and your Daddy should be helping you reach those goals, that is what a Daddy Dom does.
He should support you no matter what you want to do. He should set goals for you, and make sure you stay on task.
Your Daddy is there to support you, not bring you down.

The problem that most of you have is your Daddy is married. I am not sure why this is the trend today. In the last 5 years or so there has been an explosion of Daddy Doms.

The bad news is, if your Daddy is a Doctor and he is married to a doctor, and you work at Wendy’s guess what? Yea you already know.
If your Daddy works at Wendy’s with you then your chances are good.

This is the game plan I was speaking about, Baby Girl, Submissive, or Slave, you got to have a plan, and you cannot get off track.
If you give in anything that you have hoped for in the future will be gone, and the ball is no longer in your court.

99% of our problems are self inflicting, the other 1% is shit that falls from the sky.
You have your plan and you stick to it. I cannot express enough how important it is to do things by the book no matter how much it sucks, by the book. You do what your suppose to and that 99% will begin to drop, until everything is going your way. I promise the math will work out.

Make sure your Dominant has a plan as well, and do not be afraid to ask what the plan is. It is very important you know everything up front….

depression

Vile

What Is A Good Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, betrayed, blow job, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, communication, control, Domestic Abuse, Dominance, Dominant, Dominant with drinking problems, Dominants, Emotions, ethics, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Fake Slaves, Fake submissive, Giving Head, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Humiliation, Leather Guard, Married Dominant, married slave, Married submissive, MAST, Master, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Old Leather Guard, Protocol, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, sucking dick on September 9, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know while it is not written anywhere Dominants do have what is called a code of Honor.

At one time what set us apart were the strict protocols that were put in place, and there was a time not only did those who were slaves and submissive followed them, but Dominants did as well.

In the lifestyle we were held to higher standards , because well not only was it expected, but we were leaders. Sometime ago it took a very long time for a Dominant to become recognized within the community, it was not a title that was just giving out or a title someone could claim. As a Matter of fact many were not accepted in the local community just because of who they were and what they stood for.
So yes there was a time when protocol’s were indeed protocol’s and they were followed.

Then the internet boom, all of this information was online and available , and just as with anything you read you can take parts of this and parts of that, and come up with your own ideas.

Then somewhere along the line what we believed in and what we stood for began to fade away. Protocols were being lost in the pile of confusion.

While at a local MAsT several months ago this topic came up and as I was speaking about how things use to be another Dominant stepped in.

He stated you had to let others in who did not believe in the same protocols, rules. His thoughts were you had to let everyone in because if you did not you would have no one to lead.
So then we have to bend our rules, we have to set our protocols aside, we have to let others criticize the way we live and what we stand for.
While I do agree to a point everyone should be allowed to come to MAsT meetings, I also believe they should have to adhere to our rules and protocols, if they cannot do that, show them the door.
I would rather lead a 100 strong into battle than a 1000 blind.

Okay where am I going with this you might be asking ?

What I can say is today there are those who are fake who would never think of going to a MAsT or a munch because they know they would be called out. There would be people who are able to see through the fake wall you have built, and for the most you would be ignored.

There are things that do not mix in the lifestyle , whether you are a Dominant or you just gave yourself the title.

There is no place for anger, if you have anger issues you are not a real Dominant.
There is no place for Alcohol during play, if you drink you can hurt someone, and hurt someone bad. I have met very few Dominants over the years who have had a drinking problem. So if you have a drinking problem and you cannot control your alcohol you have no place within the lifestyle.

Last year we were at a party and another Dominant asked me if he could session with Arianna. It took me a minute to digest what he had to said, but what really got me is he had been drinking.
I explained that I did not share my property and if I did I would not because he had been drinking.

Married Dominants or single Dominants who have this idea about going after married women.

If you re married and you have to cheat on your wife because your needs are not being met, then do what a real Dominant would do, Leave. Pack your things up file for divorce and leave. Why wreck someone’s life because your little kinks are not being met.
You knew before you got married, she did not take it up the ass, you knew she did not swallow, you knew she was not submissive. You knew all of this ahead of time. To bring someone into your mess is not fair. To lie or mislead someone is dead wrong. What you have done is wasted that much time of their life.

Find you own woman, your own submissive, there is no shortage, and if you find a married woman who will fuck around on her husband, guess what? She will fuck around on you as well.
Just like the Dominant who fucks around on his wife, he will fuck around on you in time. Please do not think you suck cock that good, or your pussy is any different because it is not.

I do not like women who are weak, I am not a rescuer , I do not roll like that. I like the challenge , I love the hunt, then you move in for the kill.
I wanted the best, I wanted the woman who would not normally give me the time of day.
One thing that is for sure I never wanted another mans problems.
If you have the need to wreck someone’s home no matter how bad it is, and believe me if it was that bad they would already be gone.
You my friend are no Dominant, you are not now and you never will be.

A Dominant is a leader, a Dominant is someone who is in full control of their life. This is just no my opinion either. A Dominant accepts responsibility but more important admits when he is wrong. A real Dominant would never step between someone and their family.

I don’t want your wife, who is already fucked up in the head with her own problems. I don’t want your girlfriend, if the pussy is that easy to get, why would I want it?

I got game, I do for those of you who have been lucky enough to see Arianna, I got game.
I had to be able to back up my words, if I was going to play the game, I had to know the rules. I had to walk the walk and talk the talk. I got game
I would never stoop so low as to try and take another mans wife, more so if children are involved. They did not ask to be brought into your fucked up world, how fucking pathetic is that.

I can talk shit because I am living the dream. I have what you fake Dominant only dream about.
Yes I have what you never will.

While this blog or post is not about anyone in particular, I am sure many can relate to my words.

If your a Dominant then be one.

master

As Always

Vile

Do You Really Need To Train Your Submissive ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas, submissive or slave has rights, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is , no you do not. I know this sounds weird coming from me, but in a real perfect world no training is really required.

Many of you who are in active relationships have really had no type of formal training. Having no training can be okay and find if you are in the right hands.

Now you ask me how is having no training possible and being in a D’s relationship even possible ? How can a D’s relationship work with no training at all?

To train someone is to change someone into something the Dominant wants or needs. Training can be mild to extreme. Training can be very loving, or it can be very hard and strict. That would mainly depend on the Dominant or Master.

If you are truly a Submissive and you have the need to serve, in the right hands no formal training is really required.

Here is my thoughts and my reasoning. You have a lion who gives birth to a cub, once the cub is old enough to learn how to hunt it already has the basic instincts. What the cub now needs it for the lion to teach it how to use the skills it has already.

Okay maybe not the perfect analogy , but if you think about it, it really fits my explanation.

So you being the submissive already know your submissive, and you have the need to serve, be it sexual or domestic or both. What you need is someone who is capable of fine tuning those skills.

A lot depends on the submissive during this growing and learning process. It depends on how honest you have been, it depends on how much you want to put into the relationship , it depends on how much you truly trust your Dominant. It depends on the bond the two of you have formed, but more than anything , How much you want to serve.

See you already have the basic instincts , you already have a vision about what type of relationship you need. The key is finding the right partner, someone who can make you complete.

Many of you I am guessing are not really open to any type of training, your not really interested in being trained. You just need a Dominant figure in your life. Someone who is just going to take control, and lead.

The truth is everything will just fall into place. Everything will just seem so easy, and if continued the transition will be very smooth, and it is something you will not even really notice.

You can meet a new Dominant, which is what you all want. He may say he has 5, 10 or 15 years experience when in fact he has just read 50 shades of grey. This is not always a bad thing if the Dominant has the right intentions, and he to is looking for a long term relationship. Most Dominants who are new and have never had a submissive will never admit that , while I can understand those thoughts it is not really fair to you the submissive.

He will also state that he will train you, but once you have agreed to enter the relationship training never takes place, mainly because he does not have a clue, and you do not say anything because things are moving smoothly.

The only time you should be concerned is when he says lets start your training while he is unzipping his pants.If he tries to give you rules on the first meeting, some rules are okay, if they really benefit you, such as a new bedtime, or maybe a change in diet, but nothing should be sexual at this stage of the game.

If you benefit from just having that Dominant figure in your life with no rules, or task, even protocols then so be it, but you have to make sure your needs are being met, on all levels, and you should never settle for anything less.

The most important thing in your relationship is making sure your needs are met. If your needs are being met,then you are in the right place. If they are not you have the right to question. You have the right to know why you are giving so much and not getting back in return. You have the right to know what steps are going to be taking to make things right, and a time line.

You cannot give and give and get nothing in return, it does not work that way for you and if you allow it to it will not work for long.

You should always come first no matter what, that should never be negotiated.

 

focused Stay Focused, and learn everything will just fall into place.

Vile

If Your Partner Is Not Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominant in Training, Dominants, If Your Partner Is Not Dominant, Master, Mentor, Protocol, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Power Exchange, TPE on August 17, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have received several emails here in the last week asking the same question. My Husband is not Dominant can I change his mind? My boyfriend is not Dominant can I change him?

Believe it or not that has been the million dollar question for years.  As a matter of fact Eve was probably talking to some chic because Adam was not Dominant. We all know what happened with Adam and Eve , Adam wanted the pussy.  So no he was not Dominant.

This is really a tough situation you ladies are in, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your stuck.

Well you do have a couple of options that are open to you, but you need to give those doors great thought before you open one of them, or you could choose not to open any of them.  How big of a chance are you willing to take ?

You can either come out looking like gold , or you could look like a complete idiot , and your whole life could fall apart at the seems. So it takes a great deal of thought and knowing what you really want out of life before making that freedom jump.

If your in a settled relationship and your husband or Boyfriend is not Dominant then you have a better chance of hitting the lottery, if you think he is going to change.

I am not sure where your thought process is, but to be a good Dominant does not happen over night, it does not happen in months, it can take years.

Number one most married men will not be willing to find a mentor, two you cannot learn to be a Dominant from a book, I don’t give a fuck what anyone says. You are either wired like that or your not.

Another great factor, most husbands married their mother. You cook, you clean, you pay bills, you do laundry, you take the kids out. Hubby plays golf, and watches Monday night football, and kiss’s you on the forehead and goes about his business. If anything goes wrong you also take the blame. Your his mother.

Another factor, most men do not want that type of responsibility, because then they will have to give you an hour of their time everyday. They will actually have to communicate with you but now on a deeper level.

Having to enforce rules and punish when you break one or two. Having to tell you what to do.

You cannot just say I need to to be Dominant. Here I need to you fly this 747 and Don’t crash really?

Another thing is most vanilla men see BDSM as abuse, and no matter how much you talk to them and try to explain they will see it no different.

That is like asking me to be Vanilla , it is not going to happen, I am me, your boyfriend is your boyfriend and hubby is hubby.

You have this new found submission, you need to be Dominated, you need to feel your partners control, you need to submit. It does not work that way.

I have seen couples get divorced, I have seen couples cheat and lose everything they have.

So you have a couple of options you can take, but you need to take with care.

One. You speak with your partner, in depth, you need to have a clear explanation of why you have these burning needs. Why your submissive now and you were not a year ago.  You need to be able to explain how you being submissive is going to help you.

 

Door number one. You talked to your Husband or Boyfriend and if they say no, you suck it up and just continue on the road your on.

Door Number Two .You talk about an open relationship, you have about a 90/10 chance, but hey you never know.

Door number Three. You cheat, you go behind your partners back and find someone who will take care of those needs. Here is the thing though, if your not living with your Dominant you are not getting the whole. Your only getting pieces, the kink. Your not getting the structure, the security, and that is only fun for a little while.  Then you break up and you hunt again, mean while your leading your husband along. Then you get caught, and you will get caught.

Door Number Four. You leave but you make it clear you have tried everything to make the relationship work, but you have needs as well. You also make sure when you enter a D’s relationship it is someone who is on the same page you are.  The last thing you want to do is look like a dumb ass jumping into a bunch of drama.

When you are communicating your needs to need to be completely open, you need to think about what your going to say before hand. You need to be honest and open. If your not able to openly communicate with your partner, then your will the wrong man.

There is a couple who attends our munch his wife is submissive and her husband is not Dominant. He allows her to play while he is present, but there is no sex. Now this is an awesome dude.

So Ladies which door are you going to take?

hang-up

I love this Pic

Vile

You Can Have A Whore

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, bdsm, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dominant, Humiliation, Protocol, Punishment, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, slut, Submission, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , on August 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Animel and I went to a Boat salvage yard in Jacksonville Florida sometime ago.
Animel has been my mentor for well more than 20 years. We have not seen each other now for a couple of years, but I am going to plan a visit here in the near future.

After Sherri I knew something was missing, because I was jumping from submissive to submissive , and most was just an over night thing. I still had that hardcore sadist thing going on, and I was just looking to inflict pain, and get my rocks off.

While with Sherri there were no rules, no structure, no protocols, it was all about pain and humiliation.

I would use the Large Black Paper Clips as nipple clamps and pussy clamps, and yes even one for the clit.
clip

Then I could add weights to them as well. One time I had four on her pussy lips and I attached a bowling ball to them and had her drag it around the house.

While it was true she was helping me learn, well learn how to be a sadist, I was missing the key ingredients.

Being in control, listening, how to install and enforce, rules, protocols, and structure and remain consistent.

In many ways I feel I wasted almost seven years, because I knew we would never be together as a couple. The only thing I got out of it really was getting my cock sucked just about everyday.

I would introduce subs I met to Animel on a regular basis. So I went over one day to help him work on his dune buggy, he had been working on the fucker for like 5 years, but it was near being finished.

Animel said where is the cunt you were with last night ? I was like dude she is scared of me.
We had fucked on the first date which is something I had always been against, because if I was able to fuck you the first meeting I wanted nothing to do with you after that. Easy is okay but there is such a thing as to easy. Although I was only really interested in one thing, well three, pussy, mouth and ass not all in that same order.

Her name was heather, a petite little sub, like 5’0 maybe a 100lbs. I could tell she wanted to fuck way before reaching my house. Her skirt was almost up to her waist, and she wore these little pink panties, no hiding.

We had been chatting on Yahoo for sometime, and we had been talking on the phone. She was saying I can feel a connection, your the one Blah blah blah blah.
So I get her home we walk through the door, and I said Strip as I was walking, I turned back around and looked, and she was just standing there. Is there a problem ? Did you not hear me ?
Now crawl to me, while your crawling I want you to bark like a dog. Down on her knees and she started barking like something, it was horrid.

I instructed her to stop and sit Indian style , I walked into my room, and came out with a tens unit, and my favorite toy a bug zapper that looked like a tennis racket. Stand now hands behind your back. I hooked up 4 pads from the tens unit. One right on the clit one on each nipple, and one on her back where her spin met her butt bone. Then I turned it on , up to 10 to make sure it was working, and Heather jumped like 5 feet in the air. Now she was scared.

I still could not believe this woman would agree to come to my house on the first meeting. She had been at my place for less than 30 seconds and she was butt ass naked , crawling across the floor barking like a sick dog.

Keep your hands behind your back, I am going to turn the tens unit up to 5 and leave it. First I want you to feel this, I laid the racket on her ass cheek, and I mashed the button, and zap. She pissed on the floor, I told her not to worry about it..

Open your cock sucker Heather, she looked kind of confused, open your fucking mouth.
I unzipped my pants and I rested my cock on her tongue and I said close your cock sucker, very good, now do not move just suck.
Once I was hard, I told Heather do not move your arms from behind your back, no matter what happens, if you do it goes to 10, and you get zapped as well.
I started slowly pumping her mouth, My left hand grabbed a hand full of hair, and my right hand had the controller to the tens unit, and the bug zapper by my feet.
I know I pumped for a good ten minutes, until I dumped my load down her throat.
After we were done she asked me to take her home. That was the last I heard from Heather. Hmm I wonder why ?

Animel said you can have a whore, you can have a slut, you can have anything you want. You just need to learn the difference when it comes to being controlling and being in control. Also your lack of commitment, and knowing that everyone you meet is not a Masochist.
Sherri was a full blown Masochist, but she had a lot of problems going on, being Bi-polar for one, she was manic, and suffered from depression, so I am going to guess the Masochist stemmed from everything that was going on. If I had known then what I know today, I would of never started seeing sherri, because now that I look back most of what I did was clearly abuse.

The truth is if you are who you say you are, you can have anything you want and need.
The truth is just like Heather did, you can have your submissive or slave crawl to you, but the difference is she will want to.

Training someone is not a joke as many think it is. Protocols are needed, you can bet on that. In fact if you have protocols and you enforce them on a daily basis very few rules are needed. Structure is the beginning of your foundation with trust of course.
If your going to punish then punish and make it clear why you are going to punish.
Not being able to send videos or pictures does not constitute being punished, and if you as a Dominant does punish over something so stupid your really fucked up.

You as the Dominant can grow more with positive reinforcement, than you can being negative.

I was reading a blog earlier today and the subject was about her and her Dominant in another argument. That I do not understand, we as Dominants are suppose to be above that. We as Dominants are suppose to set the example..We as Dominants are suppose to lead and guide.

If your going to argue with your submissive, then that clearly makes you the bitch in the relationship.

The drama you guys go through is unreal, and it is really unnecessary, and it takes way more work, than if you just walked the walk, and talked the talk.

Collaring someone on the first meeting, just how in the fuck does that work ? Why would you allow such a joke to be played on you the submissive? If anything it should be a clear insult to you, because the guy who is calling himself a Dominant is calling you stupid. So his plan was to meet you, and put a 9.99 dog collar on you be bought from walmart. That should be an insult as well.

A D’s or M’s relationship is really not that hard to maintain, it is really easy if both are honest upfront, if both go into the relationship with a clear understanding of what both need out of a relationship.

leash

Vile