Archive for the owning a slave Category

What It Takes To Be A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, control, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, kinky, Master And Slave, owning a slave, relationships, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.

 

 

It’s Not About The Pussy

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Bestslavetraining.com, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, codependency, codependent, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Domme, FaceBook Vile Woods, fetlife, Fetlife Groups, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, Master and slave relationship, On your knees on your back, owning a slave, primal, Slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, sucking cock, Training Arianna, Uncategorized on November 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

In my home I am the President , Governor , Mayor , Judge and Jury. I am about the control. In my relationship I do not want a quarter of the pie, I don’t want half or even three quarters, I want the pie and the ice cream , because if you are getting less that the whole pie you are not getting the full experience.

I want to stand alone , I want to be different, I wanted to be someone my slave had never experienced.

Sitting back and looking at the progress, changing someone for the better, changing someones thought process, changing habits, training. Training someone to fit your needs. Training one to drop to their knees on command, or to spread on command, with either a voice command or a simple hand gesture.  It is about the control, the ability to control ones actions and thoughts, now that is deep.

Now here is the thing, all of the above comes with a huge price tag, the above comes with huge responsibility , and then you have the saying be careful what you ask for, because once you start to unlock all of those door as you open each door the price tag becomes larger.

You get the clingy part, you get the needy , and in most cases you get the bad word codependent part , not always but this is true in most cases.

Submission not only runs on different levels, but it runs deep, and each one is different , each has different needs , but in the end the outcome is the same . You have a submissive who craves to be trained, loved and cared for.

So if your in it just for the pussy , or you want your dick sucked  just ask. If your not in it for the long haul why would you want to try and put all the steps above into place when you have zero intentions of following through? In the end that is way to much work and time to invest just to get some head.

Then you have the other Dominant , the fuck with your head, trying to get over on you, bull shitting his way through a relationship that is never going to happen. You end up sitting all alone waiting on a text or an email, crying wondering what you did wrong…

Then you have the poor me Dominant, the wish I was a better Dom. The Dominant who promises to fix what ever is wrong but really has no intentions of doing anything. The Dominant who cannot keep his temper under control. The Dominant who uses fear and humiliation to keep you in check…. The Dominant who tell you , you are stupid , your nothing without him…

There are two sides to every story, you have to pick the book you want to read. Ive said it many times , life is based on two actions and two actions only, those would be choices and consequences.

The above goes for male and female, Dominant, Master , Domme , Submissive Slave , Baby Girl , Primal , what ever you label yourself. I am not sure about everyone else but my time is very valuable.

I was going through some groups in fetlife , where subs were looking for Dominants, and most of what I read from other Doms was , Man I wish you were closer. In my eye Distance has nothing to do with anything, if your willing to invest the time needed to build a relationship, then distance is not even an issue…. There are however circumstances which would not allow one to relocate, that being a career one makes more money than he other , but if two want a relationship bad enough and you feel you have enough in common someone is going to make that move…

If your training consist of sucking cock or being on your back, getting punished all the time just for the fuck of it, then I would sit back and rethink things out.

I always give new Dominant who are interested in the lifestyle a place to go for good information .. There is a ton of good information here more than you can get from any book on the market..

http://bestslavetraining.com/

Vile

 

 

 

 

BDSM Relationship Reset

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Reset, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, communication, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, owning a slave, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, use your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

We all get in a routine , we do the same ol thing day in and day out. The routine becomes such a habit we do not even realize it.
The same goes for relationships , the old routine , and up until last night I never gave it much thought until Arianna brought it up, and Reset was the word, a relationship lifestyle reset.

Now you could say the same thing about a vanilla relationship, but I really doubt you could pull your wife by the hair force her down to her knees, shove your cock in her mouth pump until you blow your load, bend her over the couch and force two fingers in her pussy and two in her ass and pump until your arm gives out, then put her in a cage. That does sound very interesting.

The routine , Yes Sir, No Sir, may I Sir? You may , you may not , hey lets play!!!!!!

You already have rules in place , you have structure in place and rules but your submissive or slave feels like they are in a rut, a dead end, no where to turn, and once their feelings are discussed you then think of a plan.

A Boot Camp a Mini Boot camp , 12 to 24 hours maybe even 48 hours, you can set time aside , after all its your relationship we are talking about, you cannot put a price on time spent with your partner. Once we get comfortable we tend to expect things instead of appreciating them , that is something we have to keep in check so your partner does not feel they are being taking advantage of…

So I am in the planning stage of what a Reset would mean to me , maybe something like the story I blogged about ? The Breaking Of Sabrina, maybe a kidnapping scenario, that would last 12 , 24 maybe even 48 hours.

Bondage , Hot wax , leather hood, ball gag, dildo’s , face fucking ass fucking … Fingers deep inside Arianna’s pussy probing and feeling around inside as deep as I can go, Fingering her ass, one, two, three fingers pumping her ass.

No conversation just using.. A Total mind fuck weekend nothing discussed , nothing negotiated.. What comes with all of this a total M’s relationship reset…

So we are different a Vanilla relationship may make plans for a nice weekend , a short get away. I on the other hand have a different thought of mind.

I think the only times this would not work is one , if you went through no training. Two if you did not enter the relationship as a D’s or M’s couple, or you do not live together. I do know LDR’s you cannot put an effective training program in place. The Dominant is not present so there is no way he can be in control 24/7 and he can only go by what he is told..

Sometimes we can get in a rut and we do not see the whole picture, we grow to expect things, everything just seem normal, and things begin to grow Blah.

Even today almost three years later I am always thinking of ways to change things up a little. The one thing we do not want to do is put or add more than the sub or slave can handle. The same with rules, once you have been together for a month or so the Dominant can begin to add a few rules, as the relationship progresses more can be added..

Many times we as Dominants let our feelings get in the way, we think one way and act on another, maybe in fear of that huge bad word NO. If your relationship is on track the word NO will never come to light. Your thinking you want your cock sucked but you see your sub watching TV, or playing a game on the phone, or maybe you feel guilty?

I take training very serious , once you begin a M’s relationship you are molding someone to fit your needs. You are changing someones thought process.
You are changing someones habits, you are training someone to know what your thinking, how to do something, and when to do it.

You as a submissive may think well I don’t want to give up that much control. Once in a relationship and as your trust builds , you will begin to let more and more go. Once you find you are in hands that truly care about you and has your best interest in hand…

One thing I do know, you always put your partner first no matter what, you keep an open line of communication open. If that happens you both will grow.

To have someone kneel because they want is a total rush, to have someone kneel because you can make them is just ego feeding.

viledesires62@aol.com

train

Vile

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

Our Second Wedding Anniversary

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, collaring ceremony, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Manipulation, Marriage ceremony, owning a slave, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Submission, TPE, Wedding anniversary, Wedding Vows on June 13, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. Arianna and I have come a long way and we have grown together and we continue to grow on a daily basis.
You know one thing I do is encourage Arianna to get out and she does from time to time. She has a dear friend who is like her second mother she visits on a regular basis and then she visits her mother as well , without me which is nice.

In the past she has been invited out with the girls and again I have encouraged that as well, I believe a Slave needs down time, it helps clear the mind and gather you thoughts.
When she was invited to a girls outing for lunch she did not want to go because we were not going together…. It was just Wednesday night at Karaoke someone said that we compliment each other so much. Ahhh we did a duet together it was Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi. We had people standing in front of us singing as well. I think they were supporting Arianna because I am sure I butchered the song. I was already into 3 maybe 4 drinks.

I may post a Video of Arianna singing here soon. She really has a beautiful voice and I am not saying that because of who she is.

When your with the right partner you not only want it to work , but you have a need for it to work. That need will never fail you, the want will fail you but not the need. It took many many years to learn that those two were different and that both had different meanings.

Something I had to learn was what I wanted out of a relationship ,but to go deeper is what I needed out of a relationship . The need will over ride the want , a want is a passing thought a need runs much deeper. I want a 2015 Dodge Challenger SRT8 Hellcat but that is not a need.

It took me sometime to be able to tell the difference between a need and a want. Some years ago I went through cars like people go through water , every month or two I was trading up or down what ever I thought my need was at that time, well it was not a need it was a want.

It took me sometime while being single to realize I was talking to people but not talking , they were talking at me and I was talking at them. The only thing you get out of someone talking at you is Boredom and you never get anywhere. Many times leaving a restaurant I was thinking to myself WOW that is an hour of my life I will never get back.

After my breakup before meeting Arianna , I went into well mot hiding but I just wanted to be left alone, I refused to let depression set in, so I needed to take time and gather my thoughts and decide what I wanted out of life and a slave.
I found the perfect place out in the middle of bum fuck Egypt , a one room log cabin about 900 square feet but it was perfect, little did I know it would be short lived because the floors had black mold and I started getting sick after about 6 months.
I had just gotten over the bleeding ulcers that landed me in the hospital for 30 days and about 18 days in ICU. Here I was again extremely sick. This really sucked because I was just getting everything together.

One day while at work I was dropping off someone in a less than perfect Neighbor Hood and I saw a few guys working on a house, as I walked in I asked if the place was for rent or sale, as I am looking around , new floors , new carpet in the bedroom, new kitchen cabinets , new tub and a new washer and dryer.
I got the owners number called him and wired him the money that day. My rent was 535.00 with lights , water , cable and internet included, and it was a nice house on the inside but when you walked out it looked like a war zone.
I lived there for almost 3 years and I never had a problem it was quiet at night and that is all I really cared about.

I had gathered all of my thoughts and I knew what I was looking for, I was tired of being talked at. The truth is you can tell when someone is truly interested in you.
I had already made arrangement’s to move when I met Arianna. A few months back I was standing in the front yard after a MAsT meeting talking to two other masters and one made the comment how lucky I was and it was like Arianna fell from the sky.

So here we are some well almost 3 years later and who would of thought. Life is good and I can honestly say we have had way more ups than downs , and even today we continue to grow.

So June 15th 2013 we along with some very close friends standing on the beach in Daytona near the light house, standing there as the sun started to rise and the ceremony began,
It was the first time in a very long time I got this knot in my throat. Slave began the ceremony and as Arianna stood there looking at each other I had this warm feeling come over me. Once we were married , we had a small sand ceremony , followed by the collaring.
After the Ceremony was over Arianna and I invited everyone to the Hilton for an awesome Breakfast.

We are not sure what we will do on June 15th Arianna just wants to go out to dinner but I am sure what ever it is it will be awesome..

Much love to everyone

mental

Vile

Master And Slave Behavior modification

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Giving Head, Gorean Portocol, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, provocative, Rules, Self-Discipline, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on April 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have covered this before , but I would like to go into a little more detail. I am not by any means an expert , nor do I have a PHD. What I do have though is almost 25 years experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I have played many different roles , the only thing I have not done and never will is be in the submissive role.
Some will argue you have to be submissive before you can be a Dominant and I find that statement to be complete hog wash. I have filled the Sadist role, I have been a Daddy Dom , A Dominant and a Master , owner of Property. Each role is very different , each role needs different care , but what they all have in common is they all require communication and honesty.

I have done years and years of research, met thousands of people in the lifestyle some good and some bad , some real and some fake. The one thing that is for sure you have to take your relationship serious. You have to know without a doubt what type of relationship you need , not want.

Behavior modification
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For the journal, see Behavior Modification (journal).

Behavior modification is the traditional term for the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to increase or decrease the frequency of behaviors, such as altering an individual’s behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of behavior through its extinction, punishment and/or satiation. It is similar to operant conditioning but with the absence of the antecedent. Behavior modification is now known as Applied behavior analysis (ABA) which is more analytical than it used to be..

http://www.livestrong.com/article/234171-examples-of-behavior-modification-plans/

Basics

Behavior modifications plans will vary depending on the individual and the behavior or behaviors that need to be changed. Behavior modification plans will include reinforcers, which are consequences that increase the behavior, and/or punishments, which are consequences that reduce the behavior.

Here comes a word I bring up in just about every post, can you spot it ?

Consistency

When developing any type of behavior modification plan, it is important to keep in mind the ease of use. For behavior modification plans to be effective, they must be followed with consistency . Therefore, if the plan is hard to use, the likelihood that it will be effective will decrease because there will be inconsistent follow through. Okay maybe you missed it ? consistently , Consistence.

During any training the key is consistency if you the Dom or Master are not consistent you will fail and it will be your fault.

No matter your degree of submission you are going to go through some type of behavior modification.

Okay so BDSM is not medical and we certainly not shrinks by any means , but we are not only Dominants Masters or Daddy Doms , we are giving the responsibility and have agreed to take care of someone.

Now you the Dominant if you have any plans at all , in introducing any type of Behavior modification during your training this is something you should cover during your negotiations.

Adaption is a form of Behavior Modification , submission is a form , or just in general your employer.

When you speak in terms of BDSM your life takes a 100 degree turn, the way you talk, act , walk , speak, dress and in most cases even your hair color. Speaking of sex you will go through a few changes , now the sex is on your owners terms, the way you fuck , the way you suck cock, the way you lay , and at times when your allowed to cum.
Sex is on my terms , many men think with their dick and some would crawl naked through broken glass if they thought they were going to get a blow job, that is a true sign of being weak , and weak minded.

We train to fit our needs and wants , we train to fit your needs. Training can only be successful through positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a reward , you have done well, you are doing good thank you for all of your effort, you will make me a good slave. I really appreciate the effort you have been putting into our relationship.

I have covered in great detail about Arianna’s training and today it is on going. It is funny when I first met Arianna I asked her, how do you see your self as a salve? Her reply was she did not know. I asked her if she had any ideas about what she wanted out of training and her answer was no.
I then explained as we grew together and we learned each other she would have questions and things she would want to try and today that statement proved me right. Arianna is always trying to come up with ways to deepen her submission. The truth is she would rather be chained 24/7 and just used for pleasure and service.

Recently ahh about 3 months ago I required Arianna to speak in thirds , Speaking in thirds is mainly a Gorean protocol , while I am not Gorean I do use many of the lifestyles protocols. Speaking in thirds is a reminder of not only who Arianna is but what her position is in out relationship. Now she never uses the words I or me, it has been replaced with she or your slave. While she had second thoughts about being able to master such a task , Arianna has perfected it.
Did it happen in a week ? Of course not , did it happen in a month ? Again no it did not , did it happen in two months ? Again it did not , did I punish her when she messed up or forgot ? The answer is no I did not punish her. You have to remember I changed her whole thought process as far as speaking and thinking before she speaks. The harder=est part was being able to change her speaking process when around family and friends, I can assure you that is or was not an easy task. Everything is done through Positive Reinforcement

Rules that are attainable not out of reach , unrealistic will break a relationship. To many rules can cause a over load and cause a mental crash. The Dom spends more time waiting on a rule to be broken then training.
Rules are a type of Behavioral modification , your taking bad habits and replacing with good habits and again the is done through positive reinforcement , security , structure, communication , and rules.

You have to determine how far and deep you want to go with your submission. You have to determine how much control you want to hand over , you want to make sure your needs are met because if they are you will have no wants.

One last thing i want to add is , if you do not live together the above is nearly impossible to achieve. The Dominant really has no control over you and you will grow tired of trying to please someone who is not there.

train

Vile

My Wife , My Slave , My Bitch , My Property

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Safety, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, Consensual, owned property, owning a slave, slave, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , on February 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I read a very interesting piece from John Brownstone this am and it really hit home. I myself fully understand where he is coming from , and why it took him so long to use certain words , and why many people who are in the lifestyle and not in the lifestyle do not understand how we as Leaders , and Dominants how we could call someone so dear to us Names.

http://southernsirsplace.com/shes-my-slut-bdsm/?fb_action_ids=1561126647477766&fb_action_types=news.publishes&fb_ref=pub-standard

I have what is called pet names , some may use Baby , sweetie , Bootsey , Baby Boo, I happen to use slut , whore , my bitch , really what ever comes to mind again these are pet names , this is under what is called open communication.

Arianna knows I mean nothing by it in a angry way, to use such names out of anger is a total different story. An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

You know I am not the romantic type in case you have not noticed , I try I really do , I just find it hard trying to be mushy. So I make it up in other areas. Doing things around the home, cooking on my days off , I always try and do something special. Going out as much as possible to give Arianna some breathing room, but I am just not the cuddly type and again I do try.

Looking back many years ago I saw women as objects and nothing more . It my mind it was game on and in my head I had to fuck as many women as I could. Again I was on the hunt for an object not a person , in my mind women had three pussy’s and all were there to use. I seldom dated someone more than twice unless she had above average cock sucking skills. So a long term relationship was not high on my list.

Growing older though we change , something inside of us says hey man there has to be more. Why wake up every morning alone?  The truth is you can only burn so many bridges before you run out. I have done some fucked up things in the past but one thing I always knew is NO meant NO and STOP meant STOP. Then at times silence means NO trust me you can tell. In that aspect I always respected the words and actions of NO or STOP.

John Brownstone had spoken a little about bringing another in or play in a dungeon setting , and I think such play could be okay under the right hands, as John mentioned the Dominants he knows are well versed in the lifestyle and has known them for a very long time. To add more it was not sexual which I find that to be very honorable.

I find it hard to bite or digest how a Dominant could openly share his property with another man or men. Someone you love and cherish. That mostly happens though when the two do not live together and the dude is married yea he is just a dude not a Dom or Master just a plan ol Dude.  He can share because he has no emotional ties with the submissive, she is a piece of ass and nothing more.

I loved this John spoke about respect and although there are not very many Daddy Dominants I like or even respect , without even Meeting John I have a great deal of respect for him. He is someone I could sit down with a nice Brandy someday.

Arianna you can look but you cant touch she is owned property. Since the day she was collared her collar has never been off. I have never disrespected Arianna and neither will anyone else. I have actually had other Dominants ask me if they could fuck Arianna, and all they got was a blank canvas stare.

The problem today is so many relate BDSM to just sex and kink , and nothing more . That is why so many relationships rise and fall and you people have seen that as well, subs and slaves jumping from Dom to Dom, Doms jumping from subs and slaves to others some only lasting a few days.

Back to the names , I also look at some names as a sign of ownership , my property. Some are still closed minded about the subject and that is okay we are all different.

collar

Arianna is my Property

Vile

Goals In BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Commit, commitment, communication, control, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, positive reinforcement, Protocol, punish, Punishment, Rules, self confidence, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

We should all have goals in life and we as Dominants or Masters need to set goals for our property being Submissive or Slave.

The goals come from training , and again this is just my point of view , what works for me may not work for another Dom.

What makes our world so awesome is we can be who we want when we want. Our level of communication is just incredible.

As with anything though we all have to take steps. A new Dominant or Master has to take steps, it is a progression progress.

Where things blow up or get out of hand , an inexperienced Dom tries to jump in with both feet in the fire and it blows up in his face.

Just as we set goals for our property we have to set our own goals for us.
Where do we want to be? What type of relationship do we want ? Do we want a submissive or a slave? Where do we want to be a year from now ?
These are steps that we need to think about before we start walking. Yes that even means putting a plan into place and following that plan.

What is more important is when you set your goals you stick to them , and one by one you complete each goal, it is not rocket science and it is much easier than most make it out to be.
The downside of everything is it takes work because nothing is handed to you, no one can complete your goals for you.

So you can look and act like you know what your doing or you can look like a complete idiot.

Our partners , our submissive’s our Slaves should always come first no matter what. We put those who serve in front of everything else or anybody else and that includes family.

Honesty and integrity first and for most , we want respect but we have to show it first. We must be truthful from the start. If you start out your relationship with a lie then your whole relationship is a lie , and you can never go back.

One of the first things we tell someone we just met is , you must always be truthful, always tell the truth no matter what. We want honesty out of our property but we don’t want to give the same in return. Although one is Dominant and one is Submissive it is not a one way street.

Rules , Structure , Protocols and Goals they all fall into place. They key to what I just stated also falls under consistency , and being consistent on a daily basis.

You want someone to follow you , you want someone to submit to you , you want someone to turn over control, well buddy you gotta step up to the plate and promise you can and will step up and you will guide them every step of the way..

When we train we train to fit our needs, we train to fit our wants so it is only fair we give back more than we take. If we take a 100 % we should give back 150% and on a daily basis.

Goals are set for self improvement , goals are set to help in everyday life. Goals can be small or as big as going back to school.
Goals can be from getting up at a certain time, completing small task through out the day.

All goals should be met with positive reinforcement, that a girl , maybe some other small reward.

Some not all but some come with problems , be it self esteem , home life , daily life or just smothered in personal problems, maybe depression or other types of illnesses.
Before anything we should take the time to help mend what ever is going on before we enter the D’s or M’s aspect of the relationship.

The two should sit down and discuss goals and why they are needed. Goals how ever should not be a punishable offense. Goals and positive Reinforcement does not equal being punished.

You know I have spoken about how I had roommates prior to meeting Ariannna. I did so mainly because I wanted the company someone I could sit down to dinner with.

One the female who is a very dear friend was and is very sick, and suffers from depression, a lot of things going on. She head no insurance not physically able to work, so I set goals for her.

I walked her through each and every process. First I got her the medical attention she needed , I then made sure she went to counseling , medication for her depression , then a lawyer and last disability. All of these were goals and they were started and completed.
In the end she messed somethings up and lost some , but in a way it was her fault and in a way it was not.
Her Boyfriend is worthless , he is like a screen door on a submarine , he gives no support , did not even care until the day she was receiving her check from SSI.
Helping her is more of a burden to him not to mention the mental abuse.
I did what I felt I had to , and while there were road blocks we completed each task , until things fell into place.

If we set goals then we should be there to help , we should be there to guide , and give advice when needed.
You cannot treat a goal like a rule , because it is no longer a goal. Goals are meant for self improvement.
What we as Dominants or Masters want is to see ours grow inside and out, we want to build ours up , even if it means just maintaining their health , making sure they are stable.

Once you reach that goal you need to continue support, so we can maintain that level , and again that comes with positive reinforcement.

So if you are in a relationship and there are no such plans in play , and your relationship is just about rules and being punished , then maybe your best interest does not come into play…..

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Vile

Dominant Support Group

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM TPE Relationships, Commit, commitment, communication, control, Dominant, Dominant Support Group, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, fetlife, MAST, Master, owning a slave, slave, Submission, submissive, Uncategorized, you have to train yourself with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was actually reading a post from a Fetlife group and it caught my attention. I felt a need to share because it has a lot of good information.
The group unlike others is active but could use a few more members.

https://fetlife.com/groups/20948

I emailed the moderator last night to make sure it would be okay to re-post the topic and it is.

I believe having such a group can be of great importance , lets face it we do not have all the answers , and sometimes just hearing something from someone else can give us the boost that is needed.

To date there are times I need advice but my circle of people I can trust is growing smaller by the day.
I also do not want anything shared on CNN or Fox News so you have to be careful with whom you share your information with.

Sometime ago while at a local munch a slave I was living with was talking to other females, and this Dom was listening and he called my slave to the side telling her what I was doing was wrong.

She came to me and explained what she had done and she also explained what the other Dom had told her.
So me being me I confronted him. I first told him it was very disrespectful to call my property to the side and consult with her , I also explained he had no idea how my HOUSE was ran. He had no idea about our relationship.
I went deeper and I told him to keep his cock sucker shut , and next time would not be very pleasant.
What made things bad he was single and had been single since Mary gave birth. So he was trying to make me out to be the bad guy and he was going to rescue her. Fucking WOW!!!!!!

Some Dominants and Masters tend to be ego driven, they tend to want to share there know it all knowledge. Every fucking body is wrong it is there way or noway, and most of these guys are single. They want what someone else has , because they cannot find their own for what ever reason.

So a Dominant support group , a Dominant round table , a very good idea.

It is not everyday I pimp someone but I do from time to time if I believe the cause is good, and this so far has turned out to be an okay group.

In our world today as Dominants and Masters there comes a time when we need to be able to turn to someone.
I am not sure about others but I do know there are times I need to speak with someone and the truth is I really have no one to talk to.

Many Dominants do not understand our relationship or how I am able to maintain it. There are many who believe I am to strict as well , and I have even heard I am unethical.

One of the problems are , although we are suppose to be open minded and non judgmental when it comes to the lifestyle this is so far from the truth.

Because everyone is right but at the same time everyone is wrong. You don’t know what your doing. You are clueless about the lifestyle.

This goes back to what I have been saying for over two years now.
We are all different , every Submissive or Slave has different needs, personality’s are different , the different levels of structure , or rules that are needed.
Then you have those who are just in it for the kink, these are the ones who are the quickest to past judgement on someone.

I have talked about how if your meeting a New Dominant it is very important to make sure he is active in the community. It is very important he should be able to show you who he is..

I am not speaking of those who are married and you have ventured into our world, the lifestyle , because I am not sure if you fully understand where I am coming from.

Dominants need that interaction with others in the lifestyle , it is almost like two Elks butting heads on a mountain side, we need that interaction.
I know I need my fix , it gives me someone I can talk to I have something in common with.
That is why I am not grilling out with the Jones , because we have nothing in common and nothing to talk about.

Even if your a new Dominant to the lifestyle there is a lot of valuable information.

If you want to take that walk , the path is not easy and you will have to be committed , and yes to make a D’s Or M’s relationship work it takes a great deal of time , effort and work.
You have to be willing to grow and grow wisely. You have to learn to communicate, and listen. We hear everything but taking it in is the key.

This is the post I wanted to share.

Accusations-how should we handle them.

by Xtac

Two quotes:
For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible. – Stuart Chase

EVERY accusation of consent violation has a predator and a victim..every one. The real question is, who is the predator and who is the victim? ~ Xtac quote

So.. based on the thinking framed above, I break action into two categories.
What to do about accusations (X advice)
If you do not have personal involvement.

Because every accusation has a victim, you should not risk the chance that you are contributing to an attempted character assassination nor should you act like a vigilante and take it upon yourself to act as the hand of vengeance to prevent further victimization.
If you do have personal involvement.

Victims should press all legal options. If behavior is illegal, and you are aware of the risks, it should be prosecuted. The proof needs to be tested in a court of law. Of course not everyone agrees. Including me

If it happened at an event, you should notify the event leaders right away. Friends of victims should limit their behavior to support of the victim. If you are a witness, write down what you remember asap. Memory changes over time. Offer to share your information with law and event leaders. For example, if a bottom specifies absolutely no genitalia contact during negotiation, yet while in a heavy subspace head space, is violated but barely conscious of the consent violation, as a friend you might come forth to say, I witnessed behavior that was not consensual, while you were out. It depends on how egregious and obvious the violation and of course your friends feelings about it.

Event leaders have the unique and unenviable job handling these complaints. Like captains of a ship, they are judge, jury, and executioner. They have withing their right, and responsibility to assess the evidence and ban people. ALL key members of an organization should be part of this process. It sucks, but you do not have the skills of a seasoned investigator so go with your gut instincts, and let the chips fall as they may.

If events have reciprocity, where vetting in one group is recognized by the other, it is incumbent upon both groups to share information privately between the key decision makers in each group. Either that or dissolve the reciprocity. You can’t have it both ways. That information however should be privileged. Members can go pound sand if they don’t like it. Internal decisions don’t need to be explained. Event leaders get to do as they please, for any reason at all.
But what about consent violation in the first degree!

It is a long standing legal principle that the actions of one person, that leads to the death of another, are not all treated the same. The law recognizes degrees of violation. In keeping with this thinking, it makes sense that a general idea of what we think constitutes a first, second or third degree violation of consent is.

I absolutely disagree that all consent violations be subject to one broad stroke of the brush. Accidents, poor negotiation, intent, history, and damage to the victims physical and mental well being are all considerations for the degree of the offense.

Questions event organizers might ask themselves are:

Is there a chance this was an accident
Was there room for misunderstanding in the negotiations
Was this arranged to allow abuse
Does the accused have a history
Was there physical contact
What was the degree of offense, resulting from contact

Possible actions by event leaders, depending on the degree, include admonishment, suspension, banning, or a life time ban are possible actions.

So, what are your thoughts and examples? What do you think justifies a life time ban, or a simple admonishment?

I found this to be an awesome topic I hope you enjoy and there is more to come….

support

Vile

My Story The Breaking Of Sabrina. Breaking A Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Breaking a Slave, commitment, communication, control, controlling, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Master, Master And Slave, owning a slave, Pain, relationships, sex slaves, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive blank canvas, Young Dominant with tags , , , , , , , on September 29, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

In the past just in general conversation, I have had Dominants who were friends of mine who had spoken of wanting to break a slave.
Why do you want to break a slave? Because I want to, I want that control.

The truth is you can have that control, and probably more control without Breaking a Slave.

Although The Breaking Of Sabrina had some fiction in it, some of it was real, and things like I spoke about do happen on a daily basis.

There was a Dominant who came to a munch a couple of years ago, who said he ran a Slave camp in Ocala Florida, after talking for a while I was invited, but I declined.

That is not the way I roll, and if I see nothing I know nothing.

Even today I would not want to take on such a task, nor would I want that kind of responsibility

The Breaking Of Sabrina is about a man who wanted something he knew nothing about. He thought he wanted what Vile had, but once he had it he did not know what to do with her, and in the end she left her husband, and Sabrina and Vile are still together, in the book anyway.

There are two ways to Break a Slave, consensual , and non-consensual.
I have seen the consensual side of Breaking, by a Dominant I know who lives local here, and through the weeks I clearly saw the transformation the slave went through. I suppose being willing to be broken play a Hugh part in the process, but I also suppose being with a Dominant you care about and want to stay but putting up a resistance would make things more difficult. It would depend on how far you want to go, and how much your willing to give up.

Breaking a slave does not have to be physical, although I am sure that is what some of the steps that are taking during the process.

Breaking one would be more of a mental thing, and the unknowing. Getting inside your head and playing with your brain like putty.

I had mentioned before about a Slave camp here where I live, does it really exist ? I am not really sure, it may because I would not of been invited to something that was not real.

One does not have to be extreme in order to be abusive, even minor abuse to me is extreme.

To Break a slave means you have to bring them back up. More importantly you must have the ability to bring the slave back up, and the want as well as the dedication.

Although I could, that is not again a responsibility or task I would even think of taking on.

If you are thinking about taking on such a task, you the Dominant needs to insure you are in the relationship for the long haul. Anything short lived could have bad effects on the slave, and may have trouble even functioning , or you could even cause a severe breakdown.

You have to think, why would you need to try and break someone’s will? What are you going to get out of it ? What do you plan on accomplishing ? What is the slave going to get out of this type of training ?

Before you begin your training, you should already know what steps you are going to take.

The one advantage you have over your slave or submissive, while your training, they will be spending much of their time trying to figure you out. Trying to figure out the Dominant is not a shirt term task either, so it is very important the Dominant keeps changing things up.

Breaking someone’s will can take less than 48 hours, up to about 6 weeks. Do you really want to spend that much time? If you do not live together it will be impossible to reach that point. Breaking someone is not something you can do on the weekends.

Also there should be no physical abuse, that will just blow up in your face. There should be no abuse at all.
Breaking a slave is Mental, it is getting deep in their mind.

Humiliation will play a huge part in this type of training. Everyone’s definition of humiliation is different, so the Dominant will have to explore, and see which avenue he will want to take..

The Training of a Slave is a form of breaking. It is actually a form of mind modification, you are reprogrammed. You are now told how to do task you did on a daily basis, but now you are being shown a different way. You must adapt to your surroundings.
What most do not understand is the training really never ends, because the Master is making sure everything stays in check.
I myself may add something or take away something, the last thing I want to do is cause an overload.

The breaking of a slave can be said the Master is causing a complete breakdown, and starting with a blank canvas. It can also get to a point where they slave cannot even think for their selves any longer.

The story The Breaking of Sabrina was about a greedy man who wanted something someone else had, but once he got it, he did not know what to do or how to handle. Yea not having instructions can be bad.

You cannot beat someone into submission, you can however beat someone into fear, and fear is all you have, with fear there is no relationship you have a puppet who is scared of you.

This is where the trust factor comes into play. It has to be a Dominant that you know and you are willing to just turn your life over to.
If you think about it that is a huge decision and one that should be giving a lot of thought.

As I stated it would have to be something the Dominant would be able to devote a lot of time.

Everyone’s definition of Breaking a slave will be different, but I am a firm believer it can be done and should be done without pain.

Humiliation will play a huge roll in the breaking as well as sex, and just being used. Maybe not being allowed to go to the bathroom, not being able to eat, and being talked to in a very humiliating way.
If you are willing with no resistance the time frame would be much shorter than if you did put up any resistance.

Arianna went through a Breaking in process, I would of never taking her down as I have stated above.

The other thing that should be considered is their mental well being, and the medications they are on. You could really hurt someone, if you are not experienced.

I have seen the process, I have seen it in person and I have seen the outcome as well, and in that case it turned out okay.
She did however become fully dependent upon the master.
He then was in his mid 60’s and she had not turned 30, so you have to look at the whole picture. What if something happens to him?

Something I have tried to explain not only to the younger Doms who are in the learning process, but older Doms who are new as well.
While the learning process is not easy, it can be very rewarding.
Then about two weeks into the lifestyle they know everything, and any advice is shunned. When their relationships are not working they want to put all the blame on the slave or submissive.

I find it very funny because even after 20 years or so I am still learning everyday. Everyday is a new day, and we should continue to grow.
Many times however some will let their egos get in the way.
I am in the Dominant in the relationship and I know what I am doing.
I am the Dominant you have no right to question me. I am in charge and you will listen. If you would do what you were told we would not be having these problems.
It just goes on and on.

These are the same Dominants who are not welcome with in the community. These are the same Dominants , that meet those slaves and subs who have been in the lifestyle for sometime, and they will have nothing to do with them….

While they will say it is not their fault, it is indeed they are just to blind to see, what they are doing wrong.

I learned sometime ago there comes a time you have to be humble, you also have to be willing you made a mistake. You have to have a level of respect.
Today there are older Dominants I will address as Sir out of respect.

You have to ask the Dominant what his goals are, what are his intentions, what does he plan to get out of the relationship?
There are so many things we tend to look over because you are in the excitement mode and your mind is going a 100 miles an hour.

Just like my story The Breaking Of Sabrina , he did not know what to do with her once he had her.

I have a much longer version coming out soon, and Sabrina will be helping with the training..

If your going to Break a slave or Submissive, make sure you have the time to dedicate, your willing to be in for the long haul, and you have the right tools and resources available to you..

breaking

Vile