Archive for the Health Category

Is There A Perfect Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, Breaking Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, Health, Master, punish, Punishment, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to include a submissive as well , because I firmly believe you can achieve perfection in both a submissive and a slave.

It is us the Dominants or the Masters who set the pace of the relationship.
We are the ones who builds the forms , and we call in the cement trucks to pour the foundation.

Before any of this begins you have the plans to your relationship already drawn up. You already have an idea of the lay out of your new relationship.

Once the foundation is poured you can begin construction on your new relationship.

The problem with some builders they tend to cut corners to cut cost, and we know in the long run this does not pay off.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Then we start with the frame work of our new relationship….

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

These are steps that have to be taking in a new relationship as well.

It is up to the Dominant to make sure everything falls into place. So we watch and guide through the whole process.
We watch the start of the framing , the pouring of the concrete, then the framing of the new house. W have come up with the perfect floor plan to fit our needs, the lighting, the fixtures , and even the appliances.
We have a plan when it comes to the landscaping.
Everything just falls into place , until we stand back and we are looking at perfection.

Is there a perfect Slave or Submissive, the answer is yes. The perfection comes from the Dominant and his training.

Something I do not see much about is goals, goals within the relationship, and goals for the submissive or slave. In any relationship goals are very important and that is something that should be talked about prior to entering a new relationship.
Here in the next day or so I am going to make a post about goals and the needs of having goals put into place…
We are here to build something, we are here to build something great, we want ours to excel in life, we want to set goals for improvement.

goals

As we continue building our relationship , and we have poured the foundation, we have the framing finished now we add the finishing touch, and our home is complete.

house

Although our building is finished now we have the daily maintenance in order to keep it up.
This is the same thing in a relationship it requires daily maintenance, and that would be communication
Often in a D’s or M’s relationship the communication is one way , and that would be a Dominant barking orders, and in reality once you have everything in place the Dominant seldom has to bring anything up.

Some two years ago Arianna asked me , how am I suppose to learn? My answer was observe and listen , I want you to be able to anticipate my needs , and she thought I was setting her up for failure but that was not the case because today she does just that.

If treated right and shown love and that you care the Submissive or Slave will not only want to but will have the need to please.

If the the sub or slave is going to put you first in their life , they deserve the same in return..

If things are not going your way , if your sub or slave is not following rules , or your not able to train, or your just having problem in general, do not blame them.

You the Dominant needs to set back and reevaluate what your doing because chances are it is something you are doing. The Dominant is quick to put the blame on someone else, because it could never be him, but in fact most of the time it is.

Communication is the base of the relationship , but with communication comes positive reinforcement , positive reinforcement goes a very long way in building a relationship and this should be practiced daily.

Choices and consequences that is life , that is what life is about. We make choices and we have to face the consequences good or bad.

In a little over two years Arianna has been punished one time and only one time. I have rules in place and Arianna broke a rule maybe not on purpose but she did and to me it was something serious.
Today she knows although there are choices there are also consequences. A Sub or slave will strive for perfection , and that comes with positive reinforcement and communication. Although I do believe in punishment , it is seldom needed because the worst punishment to a sub or slave is knowing they displeased their owner.

BDSM is not about punishing your property , BDSM is about a stable partnership where you build up each other.

As a Dominant you should not have have to punish to prove who you are, your actions should be able to do that, you keeping your word , being honest , and staying consistent.

Again if your relationship is not going as planned , chances are the Dominant needs to sit down and reevaluate what your doing and maybe you need to change somethings up.

If you have anger issues or maybe your controlling you will need to fix those before you can proceed , so you can have a healthy relationship.
You should not take your anger out on your partner , you should not take your problems out on your partner nor your drama.

Believe it or not Arianna and I have zero problems our life is completely drama free. We do however have obstacles come our way , but I handle them, and we move forward , this is all part of the daily maintenance after your house is built.

We cannot expect perfection if we are not willing to build and keep up what we build.

submission

Vile

Earning Ones Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, conceded, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depression, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants who suffer from depression, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, Health, Humiliation, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, pussy, Rules, self confidence, Self-Discipline, sex, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, violence, you have to train yourself with tags , , , , , , on October 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

First of all I would like to apologize for yesterdays post. That post is not who or what I am. After being called out in public by someone who clearly has no clue about submission or the lifestyle just really set me off.
If it had been a private email things would of been much different and probably not even brought up.

At one time I just expected submission, if you were submissive you belonged on your knees with a full mouth. I did not want to hold you, I did not want to hear about your day, I could care less about your family or friends. In fact I did not even want you to speak unless you were cooking and wanted to know what I wanted to eat.

Those who are true slave, and submissive’s are not weak, infact those who wish to submit are very strong, and most are very intelligent, but for some reason some see it as a weakness, and some Doms prey on such.

So it took me from about the age of 14 until I reached maybe 31 to realize there was so much more out there.

The truth is when I looked at a woman , I saw three holes and nothing more. You were only good if you were on your knees, your back or ass in the air.
Aftercare was unheard of, you know fuck that. If you want aftercare hold your pillow.
That was really my train of thought. Women were put here to suck cock, cook and clean.

I remember being out in California, I was seeing this little Blonde, well okay I saw her once. As she was sucking my cock in the Mcdonalds parking lot while I was eating my big mack, I didn’t even let her finish. I pulled her up by her hair and looked at her eye to eye, and I asked, what the fuck are you doing ? I am sucking your dick. Um no your being stupid and your broken, I started the car and she asked where we were going and I said I am taking you home, then I am going to jack off.
If you wanted to hang out you were going to suck my dick, or lay on your back. That was really my train of thought.

By the time I left Korea I knew how easy it was to get in someone’s head. It was so easy to play off of someone’s emotions. Once you were able to find that emotion button, it was game on, until I grew tried of her, which was maybe a week, that was a long term relationship to me.

When I first met you within the first 5 minutes, I knew if you sucked dick, and took it up the ass, if you answered no to any of those two questions the conversation was over.

Although I was active in the community, it was really hard for me to hookup with anyone at the local events, because they all knew me, and what I was about.

My early 30’s my train of thought began to change, as I began to have more interest in submission. I wanted to know what made them tick, what made them think, and why they needed to be submissive.

Over the years I have seen a pattern, this does not include EVERYONE so please take note.

I have had the privilege of meeting a lot of slaves and submissive’s , and one thing I have noticed , while each is very unique many had something in common. Many suffered from depression , anxiety , and even bipolar while most were on medication there was a handful who were not.
Many of these women tend to trust way to easy, thus making them an easy target.
The one major thing they all have in common is they are looking for security, they are seeking a home, and someone who will provide structure and safety.
Under the right circumstances many will adapt without question.
I can assure you that you will not find a more loyal partner. All we have to do is provide the right setting.
I have said in the past the first 90 days are the hardest but that is not always the case, many will fall right into place with the proper communication.

Trust is a huge issue and many are willing to turn over their life to you, in hopes you will take care of them.

If the Dominant is truly interested in you, he will have a long list of questions.
It is up to you to answer and be as honest as you can. If the answer is no, do not be afraid to say no, do not say yes just to please.

You should never allow anyone to demand you call them Sir , Master or Daddy. The Dominant will know it will come in time, he will know he has to earn your trust, and respect.

I know twenty years ago I didn’t care what you called me as long as you were on your knees. I had the attitude a woman had three pussy’s and they were just used as a cum dump nothing more. If I wanted to see you again I would say so, but I would make it clear I was not looking for anything long term.
Hey Vile can I come and visit? Sure you can if you plan on sucking cock I could use the company, that was the attitude I had, but I never lead anyone on.
Today I am not sure why some men have that need, why they have the need to lead on. Make someone believe something that is not true.
Well I plan on leaving my wife, yea we all know that is bullshit because if he was going to leave his wife he would just do it
Trust me I am not having sex with my wife. Really ? Get the fuck out. There is pussy in his bed and it is not free so he is fucking her.
My wife said I could see other people. Okay fine let me talk to her, since she does not care.
Yea then his cock sucker shuts up, well um not today or its okay she just does not want to know.
Okay when are you leaving? Why have you not left already if she is such a bitch ?

Last, a man who has a temper, a man who has a drinking problem, a man who is cheating on his wife , a man who is abusive , mental or physical , a man who lies.

Listen to me, that man is no Dominant, that man is no Master, That man is no Daddy Dom. In fact that man is nothing at all, he is just taking up valuable oxygen others need..

If a man cannot control his own life how can he control someone else?

Someone said the other day I am an egomaniac , and that statement is so far from the truth.
I may be a little cocky at times, but in real, I am just very confident.

crying

Vile

If something is earned you have so much more respect. There is no greater gift than earning someone’s submission.

BDSM , Depression, And Those Who Are Cutters

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Anger Issues, anti depression medication, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, Bipolar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Discipline, discussion group, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Health, Master, Master And Slave, Patience, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is no secret Depression is running wild today. 1 in 10 adults suffer from some type of depression.

http://www.cdc.gov/features/dsdepression/
An Estimated 1 in 10 U.S. Adults Report Depression

http://www.thementalhealthblog.com/2013/10/teenage-depression-and-suicide-statistics/

1 out of 8 teenagers are identified as having depression.
Depression is twice as more likely to affect females compared to males.
Approximately 20% of teenagers may suffer from teen depression before they achieve adulthood.
Around 5% of teens may experience major depressive disorder at any one point in their life.
30 percent of teenagers with depression also experience a drug abuse problem.
Between 20 to 50 percent of adolescents are affected by depression who have a family history of depression or some other mental disorder.
Depressed teens are more likely to have difficulty at schools and at jobs, and to struggle with relationship.
It is the sixth leading cause of death among the young children age 5-14.
Many adolescents with depression will suffer from more than one episode and 70 percent teens may have more than one episode before adulthood.
Teens with major depression seem to catch physical health problems more frequent than other teenagers.
In the United States, about 5,000 teens who experience depression commit suicide every year.
Most teenage depression can be effectively treated with medication, psychotherapy or combined treatment. Youngsters are more likely to react to treatment when they get it early in the course of their health issues

Now while I do not have a PHD, I am going to say these number are a little higher just because of the unreported cases there are. You may even be able to bump it another 3 or 4%.

There are over 5000 cases of teen suicide every years, and most come from families who suffer from some type of mental disorder.

Those who are in the lifestyle, the depression number run much higher. I am not sure what the connection between depression and BDSM are, but there is a clear pattern.

That is why if you are a submissive or slave, and you suffer from some type of depression, it is very important you find an experienced Dominant if you should choose to take that path. You need someone who not only cares about you but understands you.

http://www.teenhelp.com/teen-health/cutting-stats-treatment.html

Statistics on teen cutting are hard to come by because so few studies have been done on the subject.

Broad estimates are that about one percent of the total U.S. population, or between 2 and 3 million people, exhibit some type of self-abusive behavior. But that number includes those with eating disorders like anorexia, as well as those who self injure. (1)

A 2002 study published in the British Medical Journal estimated that 13 percent of British 15- and 16-year-olds purposely injure themselves. (2)

In the U.S., it’s estimated that one in every 200 girls between 13 and 19 years old, or one-half of one percent, cut themselves regularly. Those who cut comprise about 70 percent of teen girls who self injure.

Now these numbers are pretty old, so I am sure the numbers have grown, and will continue to grow, until someone mainly the parents be held accountable.

Since the majority of my relationships have been long term, well for the most, I have been with two cutters, those were chong and Bea, bea being the worse.

In both relationships I was able to help the two over come the cutting. Never at one time did I try to discourage the cutting, that is working against them and what they are feeling.
The thing I had to do was try to understand what made them want to do such a thing. Both gave the same answers it was a release, a release of deep inner pain.

Chong was really easy, she did not come from an abusive family, she had moved to the US at the age of 18, and had entered many abusive relationships. It was not long after we had moved in together, the cutting stopped. It was through hours and hours of communication, and listening to her, and showing that I cared, she slowly began to stop, it was not something that happened over night.
Chong suffered from depression, and was on no medication, but most of her depression was from having no family in the US and no one that really cared about her.
I got her in to see a doctor and one prescription of wellbutrin and in about 45 days she was a new person, she made a 360 degree turn around.

Bea was much different, what looked like the everyday go lucky family was not what it really was.
Bea was more of an introvert she felt out of place and only had one true friend, who was also a cutter.
Bea was forced to go to counseling, her mother would stand in the bathroom while she pissed in a cup, because they knew she was on drugs.

While in counseling she was forced to set in group settings, and the result was she never opened up. She ended up telling the doctors what they wanted to hear.
She was 18 when we moved in together, and I was 37, her parents went fucking nuts, but you know what I was now in charge.

I remember the first time I caught her cutting, I did most of the cooking, so dinner was almost finished and I walked in the bedroom, and there she was sitting on the bed.
I looked and said hey when your done dinner is finished. It was maybe 5 minutes and she walked out, we ate no conversation, then I instructed her to wash dishes.

Once finished I told her to go get her razor blade and she just looked at me. I said go get the razor blade now.
Once back we were sitting on the couch and I asked her, where is the place that feels the best, and she pointed to her thigh. I pulled my pants off and told her to hand me the blade and she looked at me confused.

I took the blade from her and I started to cut myself and her hand stopped me. I pushed it back and I cut my inner thigh. Fucking ouch, wow that shit hurts what the fuck. Bea said you don’t understand , my reply was I understand more than you think.

It started around the 5th grade she was blamed for everything, she could do nothing right. Her parents would fight every night, screaming and yelling calling each other names, but they failed to see was the toll they were taking on their daughter.

What is that around your neck ? She said your collar. What does that mean? It means you own me. What do I own ? You own all of me. Inside out correct? Yes Master inside out.

Positive reinforcement is the greatest drug in the world. Showing someone they are loved and cared for is the greatest drug in the world, communication is the greatest drug in the world, and the funny thing is all of those prescriptions are free, no doctor needed.

The more we communicated, the more she trusted me. It was not long she began to open up to me and sure enough she had been molested by a family member when she was around the age of 5. Ahhh the root, every problem has a root, and she never trusted anyone enough to share that root until now. The abuse went on for about 4 years.
I found out in six months what her parents could not find out in 18 years, all they knew was it was her fault and only her fault. Someone had to take one for the team and it might as well be her.

some eight months into the relationship we were talking and she just busted out laughing. I was in total shock because I had never even seen her smile.

I started with small rewards for not cutting. Dinner dates, movies, long drives, and at times clothes.

Even though our split was somewhat messed up, I understood why she left the way she did, its all good.

Today she is a teacher, married with two kids, so yea I did okay..

Every problem has a root, and if you just medicate the problem they never get better. Group setting do not always work, because if they do open up, it is a false door they are opening. You are being told what you want to hear.
Trust is the same in everyone it takes time, and if they do not trust like I said when you open the door it goes no where.

So now today if you Google BDSM and mental health there are very few negative articles, in fact most are positive when it comes to the lifestyle and it is consensual.

I have spoken to two of Arianna’s doctors and both agreed the lifestyle we are living is good for arianna and beneficial for her as well. Living in a structured home with love and no drama. That is two out of two.

The parents need to take a bigger role in not only their children, but as a family. There has to be a time in the evening when all TV’s and cell phones are cut off, and you talk, but you talk and you listen.

The parents may even have to look for other work if your out of the home more than 45 or 50 hours a week

Don’t get me wrong the teen has to be held accountable but only if they should be not because it is easier. Today it is much easier to bring in the Xbox or the play station, than it is to take the responsibility that parents should.
The thing most parents forget is they did not ask to be brought into this world, you Mom and Dad brought them in.

So you look at the suicides , and the shootings at the schools, there was something wrong, something bad wrong, and the parents were to blind to see.

BDSM

In my view is healthy again I do not have a PHD but many times you can have a PHD and still be a fucking dumb ass.

If you the submissive are in a well structured home, with rules that really benefit you. You have an open line of communication, and you trust I mean really trust, you can live a healthy life and be happy.
You may not find yourself jumping up and down with joy, but you will feel stability in your life.
Consensual is the key word, and being with someone who understands you. That means you have to be honest and upfront about all of your problems.

If your with a Dominant and this topic does not come up, then he does not have your best interest in mind..

cutter1

Vile

Are You Fucking Your Mentor

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Dating Sites, Consensual, consequences, control, Depressed, Depression, emotional, Emotions, Health, Mentor, Safe, Safe and Sane, Security, slave, submissive on January 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Being new to the lifestyle is not easy. Being a young submissive or slave can be very difficult to say the least. It sounds like the guy knows what he is talking about, he gives out rules and tells me what to do, so he must be real.

Well you get burned a couple of time, maybe 3 or 4 times before you catch on to the game. If your playing foot ball and your team has rules while the other does not, you cannot possibly win, you will lose every time. The same goes when you are trying to sort through all the Doms out there. You are probably out numbered when it comes to being a submissive maybe 8 to 1 or even higher.

So you meet a dominant and he comes up with an idea, let me be your mentor, or your protector, and I will teach you everything you need to know to be safe. This sounds pretty harmless , what could it hurt?

Being depressed , lets say you have been looking for a relationship for sometime, things have not been going as planned. You fall into a state of deep depression, or maybe you already suffer from some form of depression. This makes you very vulnerable, it puts you in a different state of mind. This is when you need to have your guard up.

Someone to watch out for me, some one to take care of me, some one to guide me, while he teaches me about the lifestyle.  It does seem pretty harmless, and this Dom is going to take time out of his life to help me.

While there are some Dominant who are truly genuine , there are some who prey on those who are new to the lifestyle. This Dom is on the hunt but he has taking a much easier avenue. He does not have to really look you come to him. He sets the bait and you bite.

I have a follower on here her name is Miss Lizzy, and awesome woman, nice personality, but she like many has been burnt many times. She is on fetlife and I offered to put her under protection so to speak, I am not sure how much weight it really carries, but it does make her feel better knowing someone is watching out for her.

While explaining what to look for in a Dominant, who to make friends with which she has followed through with, what groups to join which she has followed through with and so far everything is going very well. I can tell you the subject of sex has not come up, and it will not. I do not get my rocks off sitting at a computer

She went to visit her parents this Christmas so we had little contact, but when home I check in with her daily, to insure she is following through with certain task. She will email me when a Dominant is showing some interest. When she tells him he needs to contact me, they never do, but the right one will come along and he will. You can pretty much guess why the others have not wanted to talk to me.

Your Mentor you share your most private life, you will tell your mentor things you have not shared with anyone before. You feel safe and secure. This may or may not be the case.

Now this may not always be the case, there are many good Dominants out there who are most sincere , and truly want to help, then there are those who only wish to take advantage of someone who is in a very vulnerable state of mind..

Some of these relationships can bloom, and turn into long term relationship, but that is not the case most of the time.

Being a mentor or having someone under protection long distance is not an easy task. All you can do is give advice, and hope they will follow at least some. The idea is to try and guide them in the right direction.

I have always found that if a submissive needs a mentor then the submissive should seek out another, so they may confide in. So you may get the thoughts of someone who is in your shoes. You may find it much easier to communicate on deeper levels.

With a male mentor be careful with what you share. If you start to say something and your not sure if you should then stop. It would be the same with meeting a new Dominant be careful with what you share. If you continue to see someone after the first meeting then each time you meet share a little more, but just don’t sit down and open your luggage and pour it all out on the table, exposing your entire life.

Think before you speak.

Vile

Being A Slave Is Hard Or Is It ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bond, Breaking Rules, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, dress, emotional, ethics, Fear, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, inhibitions, Lie, Lies, Master, men begging, Molding, molding your slave, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, oral, oral sex, Patience, Private Protocol, problems, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE on September 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who wake with an unknown feeling, a feeling of not being complete, they are not sure where these feelings arrived from or where their thoughts came from. They begin to do a lot of research in hopes of finding answers. Then they stumble across a BDSM site or erotic stories, and things become more clearer.

Then the search Dominant after Dominant until they find the right fit , the right connection, or after being played a couple of times.

I would imagine that giving up 100% of freedom could be a scary thought. Being told what to do, how to act, how to dress, how to speak, what to eat or cook, when to bath, when to go to bed, and then being punished for breaking a rule.

To go from your boyfriend begging for sex or begging to get his dick sucked, to someone just telling you to spread, or get on your knees. Maybe anal sex was off limits now there is no choice, you do it because your now owned.

These are big changes, these are huge changes.  These are changes you never would of even thought off until a year ago, or maybe they have been thoughts for a long time but you had no idea on how to put things into place.

It is not that the changes are difficult, scary yes difficult no. It is how you are brought through these changes, what actions are taking to get you to the point of where you need to be. I can tell you it is probably harder if not almost impossible if you know you are not truly cared for. Eh it works for a short period of time, but when reality hits you and you discover this dude is a piece of shit, you pack up move on and begin your search again, and maybe again, and again until you get it right.

Two key words come to mind, resistance and consistency. Almost every Slave will put some or a lot of resistance when it comes to submitting. It is not that they do not want to, they are scared and they have every right to be.

Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

I have seen this time and time again, when it happens it is always the Bitches fault, yea she was a bad submissive, or a bad slave she would not listen or follow rules. Just listen to that last statement. Who’s fault is that now? The blame always goes on the Bitch. No it could never be me I am the almighty Master. It was not long ago I told a Dom he was a piece of shit and he should rethink his place within the lifestyle. We had a couple over for dinner not long ago when they left I told Arianna what the out come of their relationship would be, sure enough they are no longer together.

Be it a Submissive or Slave, we have to be able to get into their heads, we have to know what makes them think, their thought process, and I can tell you if your not true or you do not care it will not happen. Just look at the time you have wasted just because you wanted some pussy.

Resistance equals consistent one giving equals one caring, you cannot just take or demand. You as the Dominant has to earn every step you take. Respect you have to earn it is not something we can demand.

Most who are submissive or a slave are on some type of medication, why is this? I do not have a fucking clue, most who are a Submissive or Slave suffers some type of depression maybe Bi-Polar? Why is this again I do not have a fucking clue.  So we as Dominants cannot just step in balls to the wall, we have to put a plan together because we do not want to bring any harm to ours. Yea okay I look over some things nothing major but I do not just sit around hoping Arianna will break a rule, as a matter of fact she will do everything in her power not to break a rule. I set that Ass on fire one time and that is all it took.

We can never figure out why someone is depressed if you try your just wasting time. So instead we work with them, we try to somewhat understand but we will never fully. Go to doctors appointments with them study their medication. Most of all we do not want to push them over the cliff. I had a counselor tell me not long ago that she agreed with our lifestyle, and the way our home was ran was beneficial  to Arianna, and almost a year it has worked well, we have had a few ups and downs but more ups I can assure you.

Starting a new relationship the Submissive / Slave has a wall in place. What we have to do is take it down one brick at a time, while this is on going we are still hitting this resistance button , the reason that button is still there is the lack of trust. While most would like trust is not built over night. So again the same words, Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

If you cannot control your Submissive or Slave Don’t put the blame on them, it was not them who failed it was us who failed them. We gave them false statements, we led them to believe something that was not true.

If you fail at communication, it is pretty much over. Most of the time a Slave will not volunteer and information, so we have to be willing to spend the time to communicate, if you really care this comes natural. Set aside 15 minutes a day so you can just sit and talk. Hold conversation over dinner, while driving. Communication is the main key, if your going to wait for them to spill their guts guess what? It will never happen.

There has to be an astronomical amount of fear when a Slave enters a relationship, they have no idea what to expect, more so if it is their first relationship. That is why you need a plan , and you need a back up plan, and another back up plan.

I was lucky when I met Arianna the resistance level was almost zero, even so I knew I had to stay consistent. The first ninety days is the tell , tell of everything. It will tell the slave if they are truly a slave and it will tell the slave if the Dominant is real.

Asking to sit at the Dinner table, not taking a bite of food before I do. Kneeling at the door when I return from work. anticipating my needs, kneeling in the bathroom while I shower, it goes on and on, but again the key word is consistency.

Rules some just fucking kill me, Rule one you must worship my cock. Rule 2 you must masturbate every night before bed while we are talking on the phone. Rule 3 you must send me nude pics everyday. Rule 4 you will never wear panties in my presence. You have seen and heard these rules. Rules are meant to be beneficial to a slave. We take old habits and make new positive ones. Yea some do call it training I have before, I like the word molding. We are molding someone to fit our needs, or training. We are taking someones life and turning it inside out. We are taking someone who once had a resistance factor and taking the word NO or i cant out of their vocabulary. Again this all comes with being consistent and in control.

The bottom line is, if we remain who we say we are, if we prove who we say we are, if we put ours first no matter what, if we take care of ours, if we do not abuse with a bunch of worthless rules, if we remain true and yes consistent then there is only resistance for a short time.

The Slave already knows who and what they are, they already know who they want to be, we just have to take one brick down at a time, brush our hands off and take their hand and walk with them.

We as a Master are expected to live by certain standards we have a creed we must follow, we must always be truthful when speaking. We must earn what we get.

The rewards for both are just amazing, it can be the most loving relationship you have ever known. The Master will want for nothing at all. The out come is what you make of it.

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Vile

Being depressed Is Not The End Of The World.

Posted in abuse, Advice, anti depression medication, Baggage, bdsm, Bond, Change, codependent, communication, control, controlling, Conversation, counselor or Psychiatrists, Depressed, Depression, disable, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fear, Health, Humiliation, Kink, Lie, Lies, life, Love, masochist, Master, Mentor, needy, non caring, Paranoid schizophrenia, Patience, proactive aftercare, problems, provocative, sadist, Scared, slave, submissive, TPE on April 19, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your laying in bed one night reading erotica , and you stumble across a BDSM story. You find it intriguing, interesting. You go to sleep , and the next morning your thinking about the story. During the day the story you read really makes you think. Hmm maybe just maybe this is me. Maybe I am a Slave, maybe this is what I have been missing.

Books are a great source of information, but you are only getting ones opinion. The same if you are depressed and your seeing a doctor, you are only getting ones opinion, you see another doctor and more than likely you will get another opinion. Sometimes in life you have to take what you see, read, and hear with a grain of salt. The Story Of O is a great book. This is the story of ones life. It can give you ideas and thoughts on how you want your life to be, but the truth is you have to find your own Story. You have to start out with an empty book and write it yourself.

I will agree that many of those who are submissive or slaves can be late bloomers. There is a hidden trigger in your brain, and something just flicked the switch, now the search is on. In my time I have never met a Submissive or Slave who did not suffer with some type of depression, anxiety, maybe bipolar, you get the picture. There is a switch in your brain and something turns it on.

Something from childhood, may have happened at a very young age, and your brain has now blocked it, maybe abused at a young age. More extreme raped, or even molested. I have heard all of the above.

I was recently told by a Medical professional that someone who suffers from being bipolar and depression, as well as other mental issues, can live a very healthy life while in the lifestyle under the right conditions. Fucking listen, THE RIGHT CONDITIONS.

Stability is a major factor, a stable home. Structure, in a stable home. Communication in a stable home. The Dominant must try to understand the illness. The Dominant must take part in all treatment. The Dominant must ask questions, after all you are concerned about yours.

The Slave must be honest when seeing Doctors, counselors, Psychiatrist, you have to be honest. Never be ashamed of who and what you are. If you do not talk about your lifestyle, your treatment may not be effective.

I actually thought while speaking with this counselor, I was going to be hammered, I was going to be giving the third degree, just general conversation, but still when she began to explain how under the right conditions a BDSM lifestyle can be healthy. Again this was only ones opinion.

In most cases the Submissive or Slave will bond with one, that being the Dominant. She is looking for support, guidance, structure, and someplace safe and stable. They are afraid when out alone, at times they get manic, the anxiety  level is at an all time high, and mass confusion hits.

There are things a Dominant will have to do in such as relationship, if he truly cares he has to step up to the plate. You know sending your slave to the store cause Anxiety. So you have to make the trip with your slave. Most who are Submissive or a slave cannot handle confrontation, guess what the Dominant has to step up to the plate. If the Submissive or Slave makes a mistake, the Dominant has to fix it. The Dominant may have to make phone calls. The Dominant may have to do most of the cooking, stepping up to the plate.

If you are in the lifestyle as a Dominant just for the pussy, the kink, the physical abuse, you are really not going to give a fuck. What you are doing as the suppose to be Dominant is causing more damage, you are turning on more switches, then poof your going as fast as you came.

Very seldom do you see a Dominant as a late Bloomer. The majority of Dominants have been Dominant since childhood, it is in your personality. Once you become interested in the lifestyle , it can takes years to master your Dominance. As I have stated before I had a few great mentors. Today I have two I confide in.  To this day when I am speaking to an older Dominant you will hear me call him Sir, out of respect.

A man cannot wake one Morning and say I am a Master, that does not happen. You cannot wake one morning and be ready or willing to take on the responsibility of someones life. Be able to guide, put structure into their life, guidelines and be consistent it cannot happen. This is not old school talking this is common sense.

Most who are Submissive or Slaves tend to trust to fast. They truly believe they have found the one. Early on they spill their heart, they share all the good, the bad, and the mistakes they have made. You as the Dominant must take all this information in, you digest it, then you put your plan into motion.

I have seen Dominants use what has been told to them as ammunition, and at some point in the relationship they throw it back in their face causing more hurt. Why would you as a Dominant do such a thing, when you were trusted? The Submissive confided in you, the submissive was being honest.

We as Dominants must be supportive, we must encourage, guide, and walk hand in hand. Although in some cases we do have to allow one to stumble, not fall, at times we have to say Yes, we have to let one make a mistake. You cannot spend your relationship saying no.Even when they stumble we still need to praise the effort that was put into what ever the Submissive or slave was trying to accomplish. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Stumble but not fall. If for some reason they do fall, we have to be willing to pick up, dust off and continue walking.

Here is the kicker, and this takes much thought. You as the Dominant are getting ready to enter a new found relationship. The Submissive or Slave has just spilled their heart. They suffer from all of the above. You know you are going to have to spend a great deal of time with yours. You may have to give things up in your life, bowling night, Bar night with the buddies, Because you now have someone glued to your side.

You are entering a relationship , you have to think long and hard if you as a Dominant want this type of responsibly, because once you start you are committed. You as the Dominant have giving your word. You will be there no matter what. The crying, the confusion, the midnight phone calls. You cannot complain because you made a promise and a commitment. You have said Play Ball.

Just like the Slave or Submissive the Dominant cannot read a book, if you are a true Dominant what you have is already there. A good mentor can bring the best out, but what you are taught, you have to take bits and pieces and put your own to work, your own style. The way you run your house, your own rules, and protocol. You have to be you.

If you are a Sadist, find a Masochist. Do not take someone who is not into pain and force one to be willing to explore your needs. Physical abuse is not tolerated, and that is what you are doing. Never force one to do something that is unhealthy. In many cases a Submissive or Slave will do things just to please, without thinking of the consequences. You as the Dominant may think everything is fine, when in fact it is not. They will not say anything and let you continue, and what you are doing is chipping away at wood, and eventually the wood will be gone.

Having an illness is not the end of the world for the submissive, they can lead a very productive life, under the right conditions. Please do not think that everyday is going to be cake and ice cream, because if you do you are living in a fantasy world.

You as the Dominate must step up to the plate it may be full or only half. When a problem arises you have to be willing to work through it. Most of all if you really care, you may have to adjust your whole life around the submissive.

It is up to the Dominate to dig deep, what kinds of medication? What are you taking them for. Listen to their story, take it in, digest it, and put it to good use.

You as the Dominant make have to make all the decisions, in everyday life. You have to be willing to accept this task. No matter what you must never complain. Take the Ball and run with it.  Most of all never use their sickness against them, never throw anything back in there face. If you do what you have built you have just destroyed. Everything you have built is now gone, you have to start from scratch, if the submissive will allow you to.

You the Dominant must be in control at all time, there is never a reason to yell, scream, argue, put down, degrade, abuse. You must be in control and not controlling.

Down time is very important. This is needed not for one but for both. I know once I put Arianna to bed, I take a deep breath and then and only then can I relax. This is my down time. It is good to suggest hobbies, allow them to go out for a day without breathing down their neck, the mall, a book store, or just taking a nap. Down Time is crucial and it is a need. This allows the Submissive or Slave to breath, relax, take in the fresh air.  You as the Dominant should suggest the down time, encourage. Allow some freedom, when they are out don’t be blowing their phone up . Allow them to have friends, see family Go with them if asked. Don’t make an excuse why you cant. Do not seem like you are thinking about their request just do it.

With the exception of a few illnesses you can have a healthy relationship. I would say someone who suffers from Paranoid schizophrenia would be a huge no no, unless you have been in a relationship for a very long time.

Most who suffer from any type of illness are visual people. You will see many times a submissive or Slave writing things down. This is the visual. When they are trying to make a decision you may have to communicate the logic part to them. Allow them to be visual encourage them. Writing things down they can see the pros and cons, talk to them about what they are feeling.

You can live a very happy life, if you the Dominant are willing to take the right steps. If you are there just to use, you need to sit back and think of the damage you are doing or have done.

One thing you cannot and must never do is remind the submissive or slave what you have done for them, throw back in their face well where would you be without me.

Karma is a Mother Fucker.

 

Vile

Is Old Leather Guard Just A Myth ?

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Advice, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, blow job, Cherish, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, cum, Dominants, dress, Dress Protocol, Fake Dominants, Fake submissive, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, Kink, kinkster, kinky, Loyal, Master, Masters, molding your slave, munchs, Myth, Old Leather Guard, oral, oral sex, Patience, pleasure, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, pussy, Safe and Sane, sex, sex slaves, sharing, slave, submissive, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE, training your slave on March 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna and I attended a New Munch yesterday, in hopes of finding a permanent group, both of us were really disappointed. Although the people were really nice and welcomed us with open arms, it is just not what we are looking for. We may give it another chance but I truly doubt it. The munchs we attend are solely for Arianna. I myself believe it is very important for ones slave to interact with others alike. I also believe it is very important for the Master or Owner to insure there is growth within the relationship. Just my opinion.

Every time we have left an event Arianna has made the comment. I cannot believe the way the other slaves acted, or the way they talked back to their Master. Well she is correct, I go back to what I call Old Guard. There was Honor, Respect, and yes again Protocol.

Although I am a smoker, there was never smoking allowed in a Dungeon , or drinking before play. Most of all a Slave would never make rude comments to her Master even jokingly.

Arianna is always dressed very nice. A comment was made from another submissive we had met, on how good Arianna always looked. This is the truth, I dress her. I tell her what to wear, how I want her hair, and makeup, and what shoes to wear.

Last month we left a munch and another Dominant made the comment, maybe I should just find a slave I could dehumanize. Wow really I knew the comment was made towards me. While I did not take offense to the comment, I found it to be somewhat expected coming from him.

Okay maybe just maybe I am somewhat unorthodox , in the way I believe a house should be ran, maybe I am a little to strict, maybe I expect my slave to excel, no matter what she is doing. Maybe I do control every movement, right down to what she eats and how much. Maybe just maybe sex is on my terms. Last night I allowed her to come, I am guessing it had been a little over two weeks. I made her masturbate while giving me head. I could tell she was in heat, so I allowed her to get on top. It took her all of thirty seconds to cum. Then afterwards I heard a very soft , Thank You.

Old Leather Guard started off within the Gay community in the early seventy’s and quickly spread through out the community. Why? the respect, honor and protocol.

I would also like to say I am not a suck my cock Dominant, my cock does not run my life, although Arianna does have awesome skills when it comes to oral. Getting my cock sucked is not my only thought.

The truth is, it is about me, and only me, and I will explain. Being a Dominant is not just a game. A male cannot wake up one morning and say I am a master, or just because you are in a D’s relationship does not make you a master. If your a master and your with a submissive or slave and your her first dominant or she thinks your a dominant , but your just using her to get your rocks off, eh not so much of one.

The care that goes into owning a slave is a great responsibility, my day does not end until after I have tucked Arianna into bed for the night. The last thing she does before going to sleep is the reading of my rules. Then I can relax for the night. That is my down time kick my feet up, and maybe watch a little TV. In the morning I wake , I turn the coffee pot on, my cup and the bowl of sugar is sitting next to the pot.  Once Arianna wakes she makes the request to get up. I then make her a cup of coffee and we set and we talk, about her dreams or we plan out the day. I keep Arianna busy with small task through out the day as well.

Today everyone is more interested in getting what someone else has. I have been asked numerous times if I share, and the answer is no I do not share, nor will I ever. What is mine is just that mine.

Where is the respect factor when it comes to other Dominants. Okay so Dominants my age are a breed who is slowly dieing out. I have been turned away from munchs by a twenty year old Dom because I was to old for the group. Again where is the respect. It is not like I was showing up for a piece of ass. Where is the protocol? All of the above is gone right out of the window.

Okay your a twenty year old Dominant a master. What are you a master of. What could you of possibly learned in such a short period that has taking me twenty years to learn, and the truth is I am still learning. Everyday I learn something new. To be turned away by a twenty year old, WOW.

Am I unorthodox in my way of thinking. I will tell you the answer is no. I will say this I have gone through a line of subs and so called slaves to find the right connection. The right Slave who could fit my needs. See yes in the end it is about me.

Old Leather Guard. At one time Dominants were very close, Masters and Owners. Information was passed along , great conversation, even a warning list of fake dominants. There was no criticizing on how another dom did not know what he was doing. After all we each have our own way of training. At one time Dominants really got along. Respect to this day you will hear me address an older Dominant as Sir. I am not submitting I am being respectful.

Am I unorthodox ? When I met Arianna she handed me a book, the book was about her. She told me to write another one, she wanted everything erased. The book would be based on how I see a slave. So I grabbed an eraser , and I began to edit Arianna. The process only takes about a month. This is just a start, you begin by taking old habits away and introducing new ones. This cannot be done if you are not 24/7 or you do not see someone on a daily basis.

First and foremost the Slave not only has to be true, but willing. The slave has to truly want the change. It is like I have tried it on my own and it does not work, so here I am.

I run an old Leather Guard style home. To most I am to strict. Arianna has no say so in anything. There is one exception here and only one, and I have made this perfectly clear. If Arianna sees that I am about to make a mistake, which is unlikely to happen, but in the event of me making a mistake, Arianna does have to right to voice her opinion. At that time it is up to me to listen to her. I do value her opinion.

Our relationship is based on respect, our relationship is based on the truth, and nothing but the truth. Our relationship is based on communication. Our relationship is based on the desire to make the relationship work.

Do I get tired? Sure I do mentally tired, not overwhelmed though because I do enjoy the lifestyle and the relationship I am in.

So we are talking a month to get the basics down. I am not talking about handing out a handful of rules that will cause a crash. The first thirty days tells everything, will the slave be able to stick it out or will she run for cover, and find another dominant who is not so strict, or one who does not expect so much.

I have been asked if the Old Leather Guard is real. My answer would be yes, although there are many who would disagree.

If the Master truly cares for his. He will take the time out to teach his way. If the Master truly cares he will listen, he will find the slaves needs. He will care about the slaves emotions. He will want to hold her, and talk and listen.

The rewards at the end of the rainbow are truly there, it is a lot of work but it is there.

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Vile

Do You Really Want To Live In Total Servitude / Solitude

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Bond, Change, codependent, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, forced sex slaves, Health, life, Loyal, Master, Masters, molding your slave, morals, munchs, needy, non-consensual, Owned Slave, owning a slave, Patience, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, serve, slave, Stockholm syndrome, submissive, Total Servitude / Solitude, Total Solitude, TPE, training your slave on February 19, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Stockholm syndrome, Patricia Campbell Hearst, who was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army, but later joined them in their fight. Patty went through a form of Stockholm.

As one would living in a Master and Slave relationship. Total servitude, total solitude. No connection with the outside world. The only contact with anyone would be when your Master allowed, or perhaps when he had company over.

At one point I was seeking a total servitude slave, I searched for about six months, and I came across several slaves who were interested, but after giving it deeper thought, I began to look at both sides of the coin. The good and the Bad. The cost for one could really sky rocket, if the Master and Slave were not married, I am speaking of just healthcare alone. Between 600 and 900 a month alone for a private policy.

The side effects could be more dangerous though I do believe. Total solitude, being trained to fit one mans needs. At his service 24/7 be it sexual or domestic.

Arianna and I watched the movie The Pet last week, besides the ending and what the slaves were being used for Arianna really liked it. I explained that human trafficking was alive and well today. In the movie The Pet, which was a real disappointment to the BDSM community, was not only based on human trafficking, but the selling of organs. The Pets were being conditioned and brought to perfect health. Once achieved they were sold on the open market.

The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime stated that there were 2.4 million people around the world who are victims of human trafficking at any given time in 2012.

80 percent of the victims were involved in sexual services.

The UNODC also stated that human trafficking is a $32 Billion market.

Living as a Slave in total solitude, in service to one, would be much like Stockholm syndrome. In a short time, I am speaking a few weeks to a month, I believe you would begin to lose some of your senses. You would begin to lose the ability to think on your own. You would have to be told every move to make, even cooking or how to do laundry.

If you just take the time to sit back and think of how a relationship such as this would work. It may seem fine for a short period, but being in contact with one one, being trained, and fully conditioned to serve. Even after a short time if company did come over, to the slave it would be like no one is even there, your only care would be your master and owner.

The Pet, although it was just a movie, the way it was explained, Any man or woman could be forced to sever as a slave, but after a short time it would become willingly. You begin to lose senses, the ability to care, in some cases even think. Your only purpose or care would be to serve,and serve without question.

I do not want you to think that a lifestyle as such is not real in today’s times, I can almost promise you it is. Just as women being sold into slavery.

This all sounds bad but it gets worse. The Master and Slave are together for lets say a period of five years. The Master becomes ill, and passes away. Where does this leave the slave? How does the slave now function on her own? How does the slave begin to provide for herself?

I have heard through the grapevine , that a Master would choose another master if he should become ill or perhaps be in some kind of accident. The other Master would then step in, and take over. I have only heard of this I have never seen it first hand. I am not sure if I would or could trust someone else enough to take care of my property.

So living in a Master / Slave total servitude / Solitude relationship. In just a period of weeks the slave would go through some major transformations. You would begin to lose your thought process. You would begin to not care, and deeper into the relationship it would be hard for the slave to comprehend the slaves surroundings. Your only purpose in life would be the one who owned. Again this is just my opinion.

Those who have gone through deprivation of some type, for more than several hours would suffer from the same disorders, I do not think the effects would be long term, but after only a couple of hours you begin to lose some of your senses. After being in a deprivation tank longer than a couple of hours, the slave would need some major aftercare. Just to bring back to reality.

Pretty Interesting.

Consensual Slavery.

n BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.

The owner/slave relationship is usually entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[1]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Non-Consensual Slavery

Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work.[1] Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation. Historically, slavery was institutionally recognized by many societies; in more recent times slavery has been outlawed in most societies but continues through the practices of debt bondage, indentured servitude, serfdom, domestic servants kept in captivity, certain adoptions in which children are forced to work as slaves, child soldiers, and forced marriage.[2] There are more slaves in the early 21st century than at any previous time but opponents hope slavery can be eradicated within 30 years.[3]

Slavery predates written records and has existed in many cultures.[4] The number of slaves today remains as high as 12 million[5] to 27 million.[6][7] Most are debt slaves, largely in South Asia, who are under debt bondage incurred by lenders, sometimes even for generations.[8] Human trafficking is primarily used for forcing women and children into sex industries.[9]

In pre-industrial societies, slaves and their labour were economically extremely important. Slaves and serfs made up around three-quarters of the world’s population at the beginning of the 19th century.[10]

In modern mechanised societies, there is less need for sheer massive manpower; Norbert Wiener wrote that “mechanical labor has most of the economic properties of slave labor, though … it does not involve the direct demoralizing effects of human cruelty.

I was speaking with a Dom at a munch recently , and he was telling me he was looking for a Master / Slave consensual and non-consensual relationship. When I asked him to elaborate on the subject in more detail, he told me he could not because he did not know me well enough. As of now he is single, but his target is to have four slaves living at home.

The fact is, while in a Master and Slave enter a relationship, even if not total servitude or solitude. The slave goes through a slight transformation. The slave comes to know she only has one to answer to. Great care must be giving for those who work. The slave needs to know it is okay for a supervisor to give orders. I am speaking from experience. The slaves world only revolves around her owner. The slave becomes dependent upon her owner. Great care must be giving, not to take advantage of what has been giving. The slave becomes codependent, again great care must be giving. The amount of trust giving is probably a unheard of number.

This is why it is very important to allow the slave to interact with others. Like munch’s friends and most importantly family. Family should always come first no matter what. A golden rule never try to come between a slave and her mother, it will not work, no matter how fucked up you think the mother is., again speaking from experience.

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Vile

Proactive Aftercare

Posted in Aftercare, bdsm, Bond, control, Conversation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, ethics, Health, Love, Master, needy, Patience, proactive aftercare, problems, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, session, sex, slave, Sub Drop, sub-space, submissive, TPE, Trust on February 10, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who are submissive are very needy, I believe slaves are more needy on many different levels. Being proactive in a 24/7 live in relationship is really important. I do believe it takes a lot more interaction and communication than a vanilla relationship. I know I keep bringing this up but if I am really anal about something, I feel the need.

When most say aftercare, the term is used mainly after play, be it just intense bondage, hard spanking, humiliation, you get the picture, but the fact is aftercare should be an on going process play or no play.

The needy is much different than a regular relationship. While I do not still understand how the neediness factors in with subs and slaves, if you are in a D’s relationship it is more noticeable.

I like the word Proactive, the after care is on going, never ending, and along with such care comes a great deal of responsibility. I cannot speak enough on being consistent, that is something that took me many years to master, listening also plays a huge factor , along with much needed communication.

I have said a hundred times that sub-drop can be prevented, and I truly believe this. Sub-drop does accrue mainly while in a long distance relationship, or when two are not 24/7. It is not to say even if you are 24/7 that it cannot happen, but if you are paying your sub or slave the attention they need, the chances of sub-drop are indeed very slim.

Sub-drop the opposite of sub-space can last anywhere from Ten minutes to a couple of days or more. Again the drop happens mostly when two are not 24/7.

This is a Time when the Dominant should step up to the plate and be who he is, and nothing less. If you are not 24/7 you really have a lot on your hands, and may end up spending hours on the phone, until they have calmed down. Sub-space can be just as bad as a drop, and the same attention should be giving.

At times after real intense play a submissive or slave may want to be left alone for a short time, so they are able to gather their thoughts, and figure out their surroundings, before talking or being held.

After care is looked over way to often, as many dominants really do not see the need, some believe, some do not.

The bottom line is, if you take care of your property, and run a well managed care program, the relationship will be unlike any other.

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Vile

My Relationship is not a Democracy

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, and Respect, bdsm, Bdsm events, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, Health, Master, munchs, owning a slave, Patience, Punishment, Respect, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, session, Spanking, submissive, TPE, Vanilla on February 4, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We attended a Munch this past Friday, and I was somewhat appalled at the way some people, not only Submissive’s or Slaves were acting, I found it to be total disrespectful.

The group is called MAST Masters and Slaves Together. The Dominant who runs or Host the much is really okay, although him and I have never seen eye to eye. A slave made some bad comments about me, and instead of coming to me, he took everything to heart. If it had not been for others in the community who truly knew me, the outcome could of been much worse. Now I think we just tolerate each other more than anything. The first MAST Tish and I attended he was very respectful to me, but you could still feel the tension.

What I get tired of is others telling me what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. This really gets on my nerves to no end. With other things going on right now yesterday I just about blew a fuse. At the munch I pretty much Stayed quite, although at times I did jump in and give my opinion. Instead of not speaking my mind, I held it in and it was a slow burning fuse for a couple of days.

Here is the thing, I am not talking about Subs right now. This is about Slaves, more so my Slave. My slave is my business, my slave is my property. My slave is my partner. My slave is my bitch.

My relationship is not a Democracy. There are no votes. Although at times I may ask for Tish’s / Arianna’s opinion, and I would respect what she had to say, and I would listen as well.

I run my house, I am head cheese. I am the man, and no one else is going to tell me what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. I find it very disrespectful, when another Dominant tries to stick his nose in someplace where it does not belong.

Well now what Volume book of BDSM did you get your information from? I have yet to find a fucking book that says BDSM 101. If someone has seen this book I would like a copy. A dominant telling me what I should and should not be doing, and he cannot even run his own house. Really?

Tish and I have a very good relationship, many in the lifestyle do not agree with a micromanagement relationship. I know this type of relationship is not healthy, it can be if it is done long term. Short term can be very harmful.

Okay so when you agree to a relationship, and a Dominant tells a slave he can meet her needs, but in midstream you change the rules, which is more unhealthy?

Tish and I fit like a glove, Wow I found someone who has the same needs. Is micromanagement easy? Not on your life, it is probably one of the most difficult relationships in the community. It is a lot of responsibility, and the days can be very long. I am not complaining, I thrive having a challenge.

While at the Munch others were speaking to me about punishment. Well the truth is I have only punished Tish one time in a three month period. I normally do not spank but I felt this was the best way to get my point across, and she had to complete a task while being spanked.

When I made the comment Tish is the most compliant slave I have ever met or known, I was asked the question where is the challenge in her? Does there have to be a challenge? I would think not.

I did not even want to punish Tish, I felt very bad before, during and more so after. The thing is, if I did not follow through, where would her respect level of been for me?

At the munch there is one other Dom, him and I have about the same idea as far as how a house should be ran. He wants four slaves who wants to live in total solitude. Think about it four women under the same roof.  So now he has to put a roof over five people, food for five people. Provide medical for four people, not to mention all the Tampons he would have to by.

I may not agree with how some treat their Subs or slaves, but you know what? It is non of my fucking business, and to tell you the truth I could careless. If something works for them then so be it.

To come to me and tell me I am doing something wrong, man please.

I do share somethings, there are somethings that are more private that I do not share, and I will never share. Just as it takes a very special slave to be with me, it takes a very special Dom to be with Tish / Arianna. There is not anyone who knows her the way I do. There is not anyone who can even come close or could even imagine the care she needs, just in her daily life. No one could imagine the communication that is needed on a daily basis. No one could understand her emotionally, and meet her needs. More so the aftercare that is needed on a daily basis, when play is not even evolved.

Now to the scary part. A slave comes to a Dominant, and says here I am do what you need to do, I will give you everything. I want you to control my life. You can do to me what you want, I will lay on my back and spread at the snap of a finger. Even for most slaves not to mention submissive’s, that is a lot to give up.

The key is finding a Dominant who is going to put the slaves best interest first, and not take advantage of her. A dominant who is going to think things out before acting. A dominant who is going to think about choices and consequences.

My relationship is not a Democracy, and it never will be. I run my ship and Tish follows, but she chooses to follow, she needs to follow. This does not mean she is weak, she is far from weak. Tish is very smart. At work she has a great deal of responsibility. Tish is also very beautiful, she has a body built for sin.

Many people who follow my blog do not agree with who and what I am. I understand that. I would hope that everyone would not agree with me. More so want to submit in the ways I need. I am me and I refuse to change who or what I am.

It is Tish and Vile.  You take care of your Bitch and ill take care of mine.

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Vile