Archive for the Dominance Category

BDSM Relationships Move So Fast

Posted in Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, cock sucking, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominant, Humiliation, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, Passwords, Slave, Submissive, sucking dick, Total Solitude, Verbal abuse, viledesires62@aol.com on March 6, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your traditional dating is pretty simple, you meet , talk go out spend time with each other. You go out to eat the movies , parks, kissing making out a little foreplay. You know this things tend to move slowly , both of you are on your best behavior trying to convince each other your the perfect fit.. If it works out it does if it does not oh well.

Then we cross the tracks , the other side of the world a new world unknown to most, something with a dark side , but in a way it is exciting.

Your train of thought changes as a female , you have not yet figured out where you fit in, all you know is what you have read really gets you going.

Now all train of thought is no longer rational , your not thinking clear, your brain is moving at Mach one and as of this moment what you have read , what you have chatted about in chat rooms, and maybe some small talk with women at work or maybe your to ashamed to bring it up.

Your Hormones have just kicked into high gear, all of a sudden you need BDSM in your life this is what you have been missing in your life…

You meet a Dom or Master in a chat room , maybe a Daddy Dom. You now let a complete stranger dictate who and what you are and the way words are put you may not fully understand but you go along with what your being told. He gives little hints using key words you pick up on.

Unlike the traditional dating 20 minutes into the chat , your asked what your limits are ? Limits what the fuck is that? Ahhhh your not sure so he begins to explain feeding you more. The next question is are you Bi ? That is always the first question, the second is do you swallow, do you take it up the ass? Do you enjoy pain? Do you enjoy humiliation ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? What are the shortest shorts you own? Do you go out in public without a Bra? How often do you Masturbate ?

If your not lock then comes the webcam , or kik then talking on the phone leading up to phone sex.

Here is what really gets me is the self punishment , making you punish yourself, spanking your pussy , putting clothes pins on your nipple and clit. Then the name calling starts and you go along with it because you do not know any better. The isolation kicks in keeping you away from friends and family. Your passwords and in most cases your banking information. I have seen a few get completely wiped out, and left with nothing.

If your local and you meet you are to wear a skirt or dress with no panties which I have never figured out. Once you meet about twenty minutes into the conversation he wants to start your training, you either get a room or if your dumb enough you take a complete stranger back to your home.

Then the cock sucking training begins , he blows his load down your throat pats you on your head and tells you to wait on his text..

All of the above happens in a matter of days not weeks or months, days and at times a day.

You are experiencing mass confusion your mind is stuck in neutral and you feel you have no where to turn. On the other hand you are taking the word of one person, then one who claims he can lead you down the right path, the one word you hear is Trust, trust me.

Your going to make mistakes , your going to make more than one , more than two or three and you will continue until you get your head straight.

Everything becomes a chore nothing is now fun, you dread seeing your Dom but at that moment and time he is the only one in your life.

All of the above has to do with your Hormones , and nothing more until your able to take a grasp on things.

The process is not as bad as you think it is, thinking through things is the difficult part..

Vile

 

 

 

What Is A Master And Their Role In The M’s Lifestyle

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, A Masters Creed, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Bdsm friends, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Daddy Doms, Dominance, Dominant, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive on April 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have argued this topic with other Dominants for many years , and no matter who you speak with 99 % of the time the answer will be different , we all have our own opinions.

So the question is who is right and who is wrong ? In most cases no one is wrong, in most cases everyone is right , because that is the dynamics of their relationship.

I tried not long ago to explain to an up coming Dominant and Master he does own. I tried to explain if your new and coming into the local community we have steps that have to be taken. We have standards and protocols that have to be followed. Now no matter where you live, what state , city , county , or country , there will a a Dominant who stands out in the community your in, someone who is respected. He is not a leader per say but someone who has a voice , someone who is heard.

We are to quick to judge someone , we are to quick to call someone a fake , because they do not follow your steps or my steps. What we fail to see is how their relationship is working, and even then it is not even any of our Business.

Many years ago I was asked to speak at a local munch, and the topic was Training. While speaking another Master started asking questions about a previous relationship I had been in which was short lived. This was completely off topic , but I listened and once he was finished , I simply told him if he had any questions about someone he should come to the horse and get the answers instead of listening to a Jackass. The debate got pretty heated and soon our voices began to rise , and we left on very bad terms…

Several years go by , Arianna and I are together and I receive am email. Master Vile I would like to invite you to our Munch to speak. What ? Are you kidding me ? This has to be spam , I know it is because this Master would never think of sending me an email.
I am talking to Arianna about it, and I am telling her it is a trap, there is something going on, and he wants to pick up where we left off. So Arianna and I load up and off we go.
Once in and the introductions were done we looked at each other shook hands and on my end , I could still feel a little tension, but as the night went on it did get better. Today we are good friends and he also found out that everything that was said was false. I had nothing to prove , so I had no reason to explain myself , to him or the pope for that matter.

I posted the question on Fetlife. What is the Difference between a Dominant and a Master , or you can through Daddy in the loop as well. Times have change over the past ten years, and I can remember going to my first Munch , and even going back more my first Black Rose meeting . Dominants sat with respect , and honor , they were not as quick to pass judgement on others, and many were willing to step up and help when needed.

Today much of the Munch’s and MAsT consist of the nasty word Drama. As Arianna sit and listen we look at each other and just shake our heads at each other.

Fuck this , fuck that , fuck them , who the hell are they to say that? Who the fuck are they to do that ? It just goes on and on , and I sit there listening in total disbelief that people actually live in the manner they are speaking. Drama is a cancer , and it is never ending.

This past week Arianna’s mother and I had a very in depth discussion and I had to put the breaks on a few things. When I was finished her mother Apologized not only to me but Arianna and that is something she had never done in Arianna’s 38 years. Make no mistake I run my home , I am head cheese, I am head honcho , I am the general and emperor, what I say goes. That being said I protect my home and I do what is needed to keep a positive flow going and eliminate any problems or drama before they come to light.

To this day , listen because this is the truth , Arianna and I have yet to have an argument. We have not even come close to having an argument or a disagreement. Now there have been things we have talked about and I do take Arianna’s advice at times. I talk she listens , she talks and I listen, after something thinking most of the time I go with Arianna’s idea , not all the time but it does happen.

A Master is a leader in the community , he offers help and Assistance when needed , he gives advice to those who are seeking it , and is non judgmental.
Today what many fail to see as far as Dominants go , being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig, once a week gig, or once a month gig. You are 24/7 365. Once both have come to an agreement to enter a relationship, the dominant agrees to take on the responsibility. To my knowledge there is not an on and off switch when it comes to submission.

A Master is a leader in his Local community, he takes part in different functions , helps and takes part in teaching his point of views when it comes to the lifestyle. He shares his Knowledge , shows what makes his relationship work. A Master Is non Judgmental and open minded.

I myself am very open minded when it comes to different aspects of the lifestyle and the way people choose to live I make it a point to learn something new everyday, lifestyle related and non related.

A Master enjoys helping others expecting nothing in return ,A Master is in control , and gives 100% communication.

Here is an answer that was giving When I asked a question on fetlife. What the difference is between a Dominant and a Master.

What sets a Master apart for me, is that a Master is someone who is recognized as such for their contributions to community, for workshops, for volunteering, and participation with others. A Master reveals themselves with a strength of presence and natural gravitation to a leadership role, which they exercise through that recognition. This takes confidence, balanced with humor and humility. A Master has unique characteristics, that cause other Dominants to recognize and respect their wisdom and seek their council.

In my time in the lifestyle I have never heard someone explain a Masters role in this depth……

It is not to say that some Dominants do not step up to the plate or Daddy Doms do not step up to the plate because I have met and know a few.

What I do know is if more leaders do not step up to the plate , the art of our lifestyle will die. BDSM and everything it stands for will become a Myth just like the lost city of Atlantis .

creed

Vile

Training No patience..No perseverance

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collarme.com, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominance, Dominants Protocol, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Patience, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, submit, sucking cock on March 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am still looking for a genuine one who doesn’t think that Slave Training is like popping up an energy pill…no patience..no perseverance …How can they expect to reach the ‘destination’….Any girl feels to the contrary..most welcome to inbox me….BUT only after having read my full profile.

This is a topic in a Fetlife group from a Dominant , a Dominant with no patience , an online Dominant looking for another Slave..

Relationships can be found online eHaromy says so Christian Mingle says so as well as Match. The jokes of the century are Alt. com and the famous Collarme, both are pussy farms and nothing more. Those two are one of the few places you pay for spam, and its not even good spam.

The other side of the story there are many who believe or think they are submissive but they are not. Maybe from talking to others , in person or a chat room , reading a story or a book , and then when you meet a Dominant your like what the fuck is going on ? You are hearing what is being said but your not listening , and what may seem like abuse on your end is really a lack of communication on your end. Most of the time a good Dominant can catch those who are living in a fantasy world and tell her her to move on, unless hes just looking for a fast fuck.

When you add a combination of things together in a relationship Patience tops the list along with being honest, telling the truth, being who and what you are. At number one though is keeping your word. Keeping your word will push the relationship in high gear.

If your training consist of a couple of monthly meetings that last about an hour sometimes two, and it is a little bondage , or your time is spent on your knees or your back. The truth is your being used, your a fuck toy and nothing more.

Once you enter a D’s or M’s relationship you will go through different levels of your relationship, the first being getting to know each other. If the Dominant if only interested in sex there you go, that is what your relationship will be based on.

Your communication is going to grow on different levels as you both begin to explore new sides of your freedom. There will be different levels of trust. There will be different levels of structure . Your needs will change and will continue to change until you find that place you have been looking for , and it is up to your Dominant to change with you. What keeps these levels growing is communication. If you are afraid to communicate in fear of being rejected or yelled at , even dumped , then there is not much there anyway.

We are in full control of our own lives , it is us who controls the paths we take and Don’t take. If your going to be Dumb you gotta be tough.

kneeling62

Vile

Life II Arianna BDSM

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Choices, commitment, communication, consequences, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, fifty shades of grey, Forced Submission, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

This was a blog my Slave Arianna posted about life and the curve balls that can be thrown at you.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

At times it seems life is not fair , it seems someone is always out to get you or nothing goes right , but when everything seems like it is just falling into place and things are running smooth , you are just waiting for that curve ball.

The key to life is living by the truth , doing what is right , treating others as you want to be treated , and avoid taking short cuts trying to beat the system. Last but not least remaining loyal to the one you love and the one who loves you.

We , meaning Arianna and I truly have no problems , we have zero drama in our life. Being in control of your life and keeping those out who want to try and poison you , again meaning anyone who wants to try and disrupt what you have.

Sometimes it is hard because at times you may even have to cut family off. There are those who feed off of drama , they need drama in order to live. These people are poison and poison does not enter my door.

I am not going to feed into your pity party , I am not going to feed into your oh poor me , I cant do anything right. If you know there is a problem , you know what the problem is, FIX IT..

Now if you come to me and say Vile I have a problem and I don’t know how to fix it will you help me , that is something I may consider.

I have spoken before about our Bubble , how we built a bubble to keep all the negative out , keeping all the drama out , other peoples problems , and those who try to disrupt what we have. I am very protective when it comes to my home and my wife and slave.

Sometimes Arianna and I will be out and a homeless person will approach us looking for money and 99% of the time I say no. Arianna ask me if I feel sorry for them and my answer is NO. We choose our own road , we choose our own path.

I may seem cold or heartless but I have learned over the years you have to protect your own because no one else will. The only one who has your back is the one who loves you , your partner. Many times today you cannot even depend on your own family , if they do offer to help you need to be able to give something in return.

Even being a Dominant there are rules in life we have to follow , we follow them to insure ours is taking care of, our home and family. When we start trying to take short cuts is when we fail.

The key is the Truth and only the Truth, if you tell the truth , you do not have to try and remember what you said. Telling a lie is something you have to keep covering up.. Just like someone who cheats , or abuses someone it never ends, not telling the truth is a never ending lie.

Life consist of two things and both have a powerful effect on our life, one being the choices we make , two being the consequences. Both have a huge impact on our life , and the decisions we make can either go the way we want , or we can crash and burn.

It is much different being in a Dominant role in a 24/7 relationship. Now we have two to think of instead of one. Our actions effect both now.

Just as the Submissive or Slave , the Dominant has to have an idea of what his life would be like with a partner. How he see’s his relationship. He has to have an idea of what type of submissive he is looking for.

The number one rule , Be careful what you ask for. That statement is very deep, because it gives you something to think about.

You the Dominant has to know how much responsibility you want to take over , you have to decide what type of protocols you want to put in place. You have to decide how much control you want handed over to you. You notice I have not mentioned rules yet.

Rules are meant to improve ones life, to help restructure , your taking old habits and creating new ones , good ones. It is impossible to give a submissive or slaves rules without knowing them on a personal level which does not include sex.

Once you agree to enter a relationship and you lay out your guidelines and what you expect, there is no turning back, it cannot be done, I have been there done that, and your relationship will fall apart and there will be no turning back.

Arianna’s post was very interesting , the thing is I know Arianna and I know the way she thinks. I watch and I observe on a daily basis. I keep the communication open and I make sure she talks to me, but then again I know when she needs to be left alone, I know when to let things ride for a while…. Knowing when to let something be until there is a better time will go along way in your relationship, instead of just trying to dig and dig and before you know it your at each others throat.

You can intimidate someone enough and they will submit out of fear and they will submit most of the time, but you have just wasted so much time and what you have is a bag of a lot of nothing.
You want your submissive or slave to give, you want them to have the need to kneel in front of you, with no shame.

A D’s Or M’s relationship runs way deeper than Fifty Shades Of Grey. Fifty shades shows one thing and that is kink and only kink. It does not explain what a true D’s or M’s relationship is about. It is really sad

cuffed

Vile

The Truth About Daddy Dominants

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM TPE Relationships, Cheating Dominant, Collar, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Fake Dominants, fuck buddy, kinky, Local events, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First I am not speaking about every Daddy Dominant in the lifestyle , I am however speaking about 98% or higher .
Baby Girls in the lifestyle for the most are really different than those who are submissive or even a Slave. Most Baby Girls do not live with their Daddy Dominants, while I am not sure what the numbers are the percentage is very high.

Most Daddy Dominants are married and cheating , most Baby Girls do not care that they could be responsible for ripping a family apart because they are selfish. Selfish enough to try and separate the father from his children. In those cases I look down on both and I have zero respect for either.

Baby Girls first coming into the lifestyle are very vulnerable, all are really clueless when it comes to the lifestyle. Most if not all are clueless when it comes to finding a good Dominant.

So A week or so ago I was speaking with a Baby Girl who mentioned the same thing I am speaking about , how the Doms wanted a relationship but they did not want the responsibility.

So while chatting with this Baby girl she told me she had been talking to a Daddy Dom or maybe just a Dom , but when I asked if he was married she said luckily no , she too has had the same problem with married Dominants.

Again I am not speaking about all Daddy Doms , there are some good ones out there who have their baby girls best interest at heart.

You know I spent almost 7 years in a Daddy Dom role , I will also be the first to admit that was a bad turning point in my relationship but I did it because it was a need for the slave, little did I know she saw that as a weakness in me , because I was willing to change who I was.

My role was not an easy one , I set goals for her , and I made sure they were followed through with. I had rules , and protocols that were followed. Again the weakness was me changing who I was.

Once your Baby girl , submissive or slave spots a weakness they will prey on that to see how far they can push you.

While our relationship is strictly an M’s , it is based more on structure , rules and protocols. I have never left a mark on Arianna , the key word here being NEVER. One I know her limits and I respect them , two I care to much for her.

This statement is going to hit some nerves. The term Daddy Dom is somewhat new to the lifestyle. Another for the most I do not even think in a Daddy baby girl relationship the term BDSM should even be used. The main reason being many do not have rules , many do not have protocols , nor any type of structure. The final the only time a collar is put on is during play.
While at a MasT meeting sometime ago a Daddy Dom called me aside and told me I was abusing Arianna, I should not even be in the lifestyle because I did not know what I was doing. He said I was to strict, and I did not give her any freedom.
I thought for a second and I asked his what was he even doing at a MasT meeting. MasT means Masters And Slaves Together.
I have been approached by Dominants who have asked me basically the same thing. These are people who do not have a true understanding of what the dynamics of a M’s relationship is really about.
Again this is not my thoughts to all Daddys Doms within the lifestyle.
However there is a reason why you do not see many Daddy , Baby girl relationships active in the local community, who knows?

Books are an excellent reference , and you can obtain a great deal of information from books , good and bad , but you cannot live your life according to what someone else has written it will not work. We as humans have different needs , different kinks , we need different structure , and rules. Books can give you an out line but in the end your just reading someones opinion, just like my blog.

Most Daddy Doms do not collar their property, well the first meeting but after that the collar is not brought up except during play.

We need to learn to accept everyone for who they are , and what would help is maybe learning to understand our friends a lot more. The more we understand the more we grow, the more we grow , then we are open to more ideas.

I have a very dear friend Master R , him and I live total different separate lives , we both have total different views on how a M’s relationship should be ran, how a house should be ran, but we are open enough to understand we both have different needs. We also know we can depend on each other , and today in the lifestyle that is really hard.

That is why when you first meet someone being able to clearly communicate is so important, being able to understand where each other is coming from. Knowing what is expected of each other. How you see yourself in a relationship , be it Daddy Dom Baby Girl , Dominant , and Submissive or Master and Slave.

I have said this before , my way is not the only way, and just with any book , after reading some 1000 post maybe you can lay the ground work to something awesome…

Again there are a few Daddy Dominants I respect but for the most man I cant even say.

Many who call themselves Daddy Doms are married and want a piece of ass on the side. So you sit and wait and wait and wait for that call or text and then you get a couple of hours alone, then you wait another two weeks or a month and in some cases longer. You are an object and if you are happy being an object then so be it I am happy for you.

Daddy

Vile

Fifty Shades Of Grey , All Bad Reviews

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationships, communication, Dominance, Dominant, Exploit, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fifty Shades Of Gray, fifty shades of grey, Master And Slave, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, The Secretary, TPE on February 8, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is no real surprise to me at all. People who do not live the lifestyle have no way of understanding the way we live. They have no clue about the protocols , the rules , the communication and the trust that is needed to build a healthy relationship.

Fifty Shades Of Grey is a more kinky 9 1/2 weeks but 9 1/2 weeks had much better actors in the movie. The Miss Hottie Kim Basinger then Mickey Rourke , that was a kinky pair and the story line was somewhat the same.

Fifty Shades was based on sexual kink , don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with kink , although I am straight I am down with almost anything.

So who gave Fifty Shades a good review ? Yea the one and only Kim Kardashian . Now there is a reliable source.

So they take what could be a good movie and it will make millions , they exploit the lifestyle and people will still look down on other who life the lifestyle.

Secretary 2002 with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal , James was the Dominant , and Maggie was the submissive , and a submissive with problems and emotional issues. The movie showed how two worked together while building a D’s relationship.

The one problem that comes to mind there will be many who take the movie to heart just as they did with the book. The end result we have those who have no clue invading our world. To some or many it may not seem like much but it is starting to look like the TV series The Walking Dead, which by the way I am addicted to, but what I am saying is we will be drastically out number more so than what we are now.

A lot of you will think I am bitching about nothing. I may be saying a bunch of nothings here, in fact it may have no meaning. You may think I crazy, but many of you have seen what I am talking about.

secretary

Fifty

Vile

I wish I Was A Better Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anger, Anger Issues, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, cock sucking, codependent, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Master, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The Novice Dominant, The World Of BDSM, Train your slave with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am sure many of you have heard these words or similar. I wish I was a better Daddy , I wish I was a better Master , or Dominant.

These words come from a novice who has bitten off more than he can chew. He has stepped out of the frying pan into the fire.

A middle aged man waking up one morning after finding ALT.com or some other BDSM site, now he wants to step into that relationship really knowing nothing about the lifestyle. He now wants to control someone , impose rules , look for reasons to punish, yell and bark orders , make demands you are not sure you can do , or possibly get into trouble.
He now wants to isolate you, keep you from family and friends.

The novice has been in the lifestyle now for 10 years or this is what he is telling you. He has trained many , and the relationship has failed because they lied to him, they were not real , they were fakes.

Your needy and he is greedy sounds familiar yes? He takes and takes and you give and give, but you get nothing in return.

A novice a week into the lifestyle is not the Grand Master of Masters , the Lord the Grand Pooba.

On your knees bitch suck your Masters cock, I will train you just keep sucking. I own you, and you have only known each other for a couple of hours.

This is the Dominant you can tell nothing because he knows everything. This is the Dominant when the relationship falls apart it is your fault , you did it, you were not true , how dare you lie about your submission.

You know a couple of months ago I tried giving someone advice and he laughed at me.
He then sent me a friend request on Facebook , so I excepted. A month went by and nothing not a word so I then deleted him.
Then out of the blue I get a Message saying let me know when you can talk, as in making some kind demand , like he was making time for me. He is now blocked.

The novice is like a leach it will suck the blood out of you until you pick it off and throw it away.

I am far from perfect , I have and would never claim I know all. What I know has taking me years to learn not months or weeks but years.

He wants his cock sucked but the minute you become needy or he finds out your codependent he wants no part of you.
You need to grow up , your acting childish , I am not going to put up with your games , that is right your now a game , and in the end the break up is your fault and your fault only.

If the Dominant cannot control his own life , his own problems , his own drama , how in the fuck is he going to help or control you. If his life is a complete fucking mess , you have to think what can he bring to the table to help me ?

The novice Dominant will lose their temper at the drop of a hat. You are now the stupid bitch , your a cunt , your making his life so fucking miserable. He cannot train you because your a fake your not real. He will scream and scream then he will come crawling back with his tail between his legs begging you to take him back.

I wish I was a better Dominant , I wish I was a better Master or Daddy , these are the words of a novice and a idiot. He has stepped into someones shoes and they do not fit.

You the submissive in the end are the one in charge , you are running the relationship and you are faking your submission.

All you have to do is think.

fight

Vile

The Mental Part Of BDSM

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Bipolar, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Depressed, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master And Slave, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Mental BDSM, punish, Punishment, Rules, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

My very first experience was with a masochist. I had met her on yahoo going through yahoo profiles. A mother of three boys all who were in special Education classes and on medication ages 6 , 9 and 12. Sherri was Bi-Polar as well and suffered from depression.
I never even thought of having a relationship with her as a matter of fact that conversation never came up.
If it did I would of walked away , washed my hands and moved on. What is more incredible the seven years we saw each other I never fucked her , well her pussy or ass. Her mouth did take a lot of abuse though.

It was not about rules , there were none , there were no protocols , no structure.

The whole relationship was about pain and humiliation and nothing more . Belts , rods , canes , the single tail whip , tens units , fisting pussy and ass..
There was no communication at all it was about using and abusing. This is what she needed and if he had not been me it would of been someone else.

I was young and fairly new to the lifestyle , we my first Master and Slave somewhat of a relationship.

I was introduced to BDSM while stationed in Korea early 1981 maybe 82 I do believe , but it was not called BDSM.
I had a very good friend who was in the Korean Army and he was assigned to our platoon.
His name was Kim and they were called Katusa’s . His pay at that time was like 8 dollars a month and he sent half of that home.

My interest with being in control started much younger though as I have spoken about before, but the show I was invited to while in Korea really set something off….

One mistake many Dominant make Masters as well is we become to predictable, meaning our property figures us out. Once that happens you can slowly begin to lose ground on your control.

The Submissive or Slave is submitting with their mind, BDSM does have have to be physical , although the term Bondage , Discipline , Sado , Masochist. That you can see as being physical.

I believe 90% of the lifestyle is mental , getting in ones head , picking their brain. In order to do this you truly have to know your partner.

You have to know your slave or submissive inside out , and I have a theory about that.

You have to know all of the Why’s. The Why’s ! Why do you listen to a certain type of music? Why do you like dressing the way you do? Why do you like the foods you do ?
The list goes on and on. It was not long ago Arianna had a long talk about the brand of makeup she preferred and why she liked it. You may think this sounds stupid but it works.

What makes them think the way they do ? You have to know the Why’s , because if you do not you will never fully know your partner.

You need to set time aside on a daily basis so the two of you can just talk , I mean talk about anything and everything, on a certain topic or about the weather.
You want to know how their day went , How was work ? How was lunch ?

Women in general are not good about giving up information if something is wrong and this proves to be more so with a submissive or slave.

If you think something is wrong chances are your right, but if you ask and she says nothing, just let it go. You need to drop it and bring it up later.
By not dropping it and continuing with your questioning , that is where most of your arguments come from. Let it go and a little time later bring it back up.
You need to reassure them they can talk to you about anything. You need to let it be known your only asking because you care.

You the Dominant , when you start making demands your only causing a shut down, and that is not our goal.
When you start to demand submission , you cause a shut down, you want your slave to feel like they can speak freely about what is on their mind or any thoughts they may have.

While it is true a D’s or M’s relationship does not have to be physical , most have it imbedded in their mind that pain has to play a part in such a relationship, again we are visual , and if you google BDSM and click on images you see some bitch getting her ass beat.

Even when you speak of someone reaching sub-space it is always associated with pain , and I know myself that pain is not necessary to reach sub-space. Ia m not saying inflicting pain is a bad thing, but many will take what is giving just to please.

I myself want that mental capability , I want to know someone well enough to be able to draw them into that rim of play. While it has only happened a few times Arianna giggles while in sub-space.
Achieving sub-space is like a woman having an orgasm , it is not going to happen every time.

Knowing your property well enough to have that type of control is truly amazing.

http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Domination_and_submission_%28BDSM%29

Domination and submission (also known as D&s, Ds or D/s) is a set of psychosexual behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of dominance of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context. It is part of the BDSM group of paraphilias.

D/s is often referred to as the “mental” side of BDSM. Physical contact is not a necessity, and can even be conducted anonymously over telephone, email or (more recently) instant messaging services. In other cases it can be intensely physical, sometimes traversing into sadomasochism. In D/s, one takes pleasure or erotic enjoyment out of either dominating or being dominated. Those who take the superior position are called Dominants, Doms (male) or Dommes (female), while those who take the subordinate position are called subs or submissives. A switch is an individual who plays in either role. Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session. Submissives generally outnumber Dominants, with male subs outnumbering Dommes by the widest margin, often three to one or more. “Dominatrix” is a term usually reserved for a female professional dominant who dominates others for pay. It should be noted that a Dominatrix is not a prostitute, and sexual services are not usually provided. There also exist D/s relationships outside of the BDSM community, or where the dominance and submission is not sexual or erotic in nature, which are not referenced here.

Master/slave

In casual D/s relationships the sub only submits occasionally and with definite short-term goals, perhaps for an evening or the duration of a party.

In longer, committed relationships many people opt for the Master/slave model, in which consent is negotiated once for a long period and the consent given is generally broader. Slave contracts are often negotiated for a one year term, but longer and shorter terms are possible, lifetime contracts are rare but not unknown. Where the contract is in effect continuously, the relationship is referred to as “24/7”. The limits of the slave contract can vary widely and extend into other areas of BDSM. Some people opt to be purely “sex slaves”, while others who prefer domestic service identify as “service slaves”. Some slaves allow their Masters or Mistresses complete latitude as to the demands that can be placed on them. Such a relationship is known as Total Power Exchange or TPE.

People usually only enter into a Master/slave contract after they have known and played with each other for some time, often several years. It can be one of the most difficult relationships in the BDSM world to maintain, and requires special skills and experience.

The mental side of BDSM runs really deep , and i can tell you from experience it is not something I learned over night. This is more so with the control and even learning to control my temper. It took me a very long time to learn that communication was the base of the relationship but having the ability to listen and take information in was and is just as important.

Many inexperienced Dominants look to punishment as a form to run their relationship. They spend most of their time waiting on their property to break a rule. That is why most overload their property with to many rules, knowing there is no way in keeping things in tact, so yes rules will be broken and punishment will be giving, most of the time over something stupid.

That is not the type of control I seek or want , I want that mental control. I want to keep Arianna on her toes and not knowing what I have planned next.

Arianna’s rules are structured based , her rules are to help her in her everyday life. There is nothing sexual in her rules.

We as Dominants want to see our property improve in their daily life, we want to set goals and when goals are set we need to be there to help.

Although communication is the base of any relationship , I also believe positive reinforcement plays a huge role in a D’s or M’s relationship.
Positive reinforcement will also make communication much easier , your property will feel comfortable enough to communicate with you on all levels.

Just like during our play which has little to no pain , it is about the mental side. Blind folded and gagged , she has no idea what I am going to do to her. Most of the time it is very quite and this keeps her guessing even as the candle wax drips on her or just touching her. Sometimes the not knowing is far more effective than the pain.

Before entering a relationship it is far better to know someone inside out before making that commitment, more so in our lifestyle.

During play more so during S&M play the dominant needs to consider the mental side of the sub or slave.
Meaning depression or even bi-polar because a serious break down could take place and we are responsible for their well being.
This is why I highly disagree with a Dominant wanting to play on the first meet because there is no way he can know enough about the sub or slave and their mental status.
You can tell the difference in who cares and who does not.

Just my thoughts.

mental

Vile

We Are Moving

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Dominance, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , on November 1, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna has been commuting for over two years now, the first year was around 150 miles a day and the past year around 102 miles a day. I know how rough the commute has been on her so I wanted to fix it.

Six months and counting we have been looking for a place, the right place, and it had to be Arianna’s choice.

We now live in Deland Florida , 51 miles from Arianna’s work. Davenport Florida will be our new home, which is about 18 miles from her work, a huge difference.

A beautiful gated community with a nature walk which we will both enjoy but our new home is 1275 sf of living space, and very modern.
The updated kitchen was a need for Arianna , and what is important to her is important to me.

I mention something to someone not long ago, and I said if you want things to work out you need to have a plan , and I was basically laughed at which is all good.

As of now Arianna’s commute is about 55 minutes one way, and then the long drive home just getting into traffic.

The first thing I was or am worried about is her safety, and driving I-4 at 4.30 is the morning makes me a little uneasy, then the drive in the afternoon.
Her being tired at the end of the day after being up almost 12 hours also made me feel a little uneasy.

So it took us about 6 months to find the right place, but we did it.
Moving into an apartment will be somewhat of a challenge as well, but with the living space it is as big as our house now, it will be just getting use to people being around us.

I will make all the moving arrangements so all Arianna will have to do is pack up everything and decide what we are leaving.

That is what I meant about having a plan, be it moving or entering a D’s or M’s relationship you want the transition to be as smooth as possible.
If you do not have a plan it is like sending a blind man into a gun fight.

Although at times we as Dominants do require a helping hand, but for the most we handle things, we put everything into place, we make what ever we are doing simple.

Here is one thing I have not touched base on. I believe this is where a lot of arguing and drama starts.
Yesterday and today Arianna was upset, and maybe a little depressed, but more so the feeling of being over whelmed with everything that is coming up.
Nothing ever last and it passes I know this, Arianna is being Arianna , so I let Arianna be Arianna.

Instead of probing, and telling her nothing is wrong, or she has no reason to feel that way, we talk about it, and I try to put everything at ease.
If you go on the attack from the start , then you put your sub or slave in a defensive mode, and here comes the fighting.

I wish I could get someone to tell me a good valid reason why two adults should argue. Why two grown adults would scream at each other and call each other names. An angry mans words is a calm mans thoughts, just as a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

If you know your partner well enough then there should be no reason to scream at each other. Two adults can have a discussion but to get angry nah that never works.

If you the Dominant are going to scream and call names what kind of Dominant are you ? Because if you have anger issues you still have much to learn about the lifestyle , and you really lack the communication skills to be active in a D’s or M’s relationship..

I get stressed as well, I even worry about things from time to time, I just show it different.
If there is a problem or an issue comes up my mind is moving at Mach 1, and I solve what ever has been placed in front of me. I may not always like the outcome but I handle it.

Clear communication is the key, clear communication will solve 98% of your problems.
With communication though comes patience and lots of it. Patience is something that has to be learned, just as being a Dominant.
Thinking before you speak it took me years, and I am far from perfect.

I am not going to take my aggression out on Arianna for something I did, nor am I going to put her down , when she is feeling down and out, because I know it will pass, it may take a day or even two but it passes.

I found it hard to believe I was laughed at when I made the statement you have to have a plan, and his life is all fucked up. At that time I opened the door for communication, I offered it was refused so I closed that door.

It is your property who is giving you what you need and want, she is the one laying on her back, sucking your cock and what ever else you dish out.

You the Dominant should not only have the respect, but the want and need to give just as much back.

submissive

So in the end you can just admire your property

Vile

I want Your Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 128 Basic rules, 24/7, 50 Shades Of Grey, abuse, Acceptance, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Cheating Dominant, codependent, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, controlling, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, fucking, Married Dominant, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocol, Protocols, pussy, relationships, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on October 31, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Taking control over someones life is a huge responsibility. Turning your life over to someone takes a lot of trust.

Taking over someones life requires the Dominant to devote a great deal of time. Turning your life over to someone requires you to be open and truthful and having the ability to be able to communicate.

Taking control over someones life requires the Dominant to be truthful, and honesty and having the ability to communicate. Turning yourself over to someone requires you to give yourself 100%, 100% of the time.

The Dominant runs the show. The way the relationship turns out is soly on the Dominants shoulders.
The only exception would be if the Slave or submissive does not have the heart, or the will to enter such a relationship.

The Dominant sets the pace, the Dominant sets the standards, the Dominant sets the protocols , and The Dominant sets the rules.

Before entering such a relationship the Slave or Submissive has to be very clear about their needs. They need to be very clear as to what it would take for them to be able to function in such a relationship. What do you need in a D’s Or M’s relationship? What are your goals within a relationship? What do you expect out of your Dominant in a relationship?

Just as I find the 128 rules to be a fucking joke, I find Anal training by web cam to be a fucking joke, or meeting with no panties.
The above is something a 20 year old Dominant would expect, because it is then about being controlling and not in control.

Your fucking your ass on a web cam so some dude can jack off, and once you turn your computer off, you will crawl up in your bed alone and cry yourself to sleep.

The above is in no way, a way to gain someone submission. The above is no way to prove you are the Master Of disaster , man slayer woman player. Starting out training someone to suck your cock is not training.

The Dominant says well I am poly. The submissive thinks for a minute and finely says well you know I prefer a one on on, she never says she is not, I prefer.
What you have done then is opened a door you the submissive cannot close. If your not poly say it. If the Dominant gets up and walks out so fucking what.

Your having a problem finding the right Dominant or Master, I can honestly tell you that is your fault and no one Else’s , yes you the Slave or Submissive are the one to blame.

How can that be Vile ? How can it be my fault ? I am insulted by your remarks.

I am going to give you two main reasons. One your are not completely honest with yourself and who you are. Two you are not honest with the Dominant when you first meet him.

If you feel completely comfortable when you first meet then stay and see where it goes. If your first meeting is about fucking or sucking cock, get up and leave.
If you feel intimidated when you first meet get up and leave, because Domination through intimidation is no way to start a successful relationship.

These are my limits, um I do not do anal, and I am not into pain. Your limits are duly noted, and I will respect your limits.
If the limits are pushed and you are questioned, again tell the Dominant thank you and get up and walk the fuck out.

Vile that would be me, I never question limits, I never ask why? I never say well lets try. I never say well we can do someone anal training. I never say well while your at home why don’t you try.

I have a very good reason as to why I never bring it up again and it is so fucking simple you can be smarter than a 5th grader.

Because if you the Dominant are who you say you are, you do what you say your going to do, you are completely honest, and you remain consistent.
Now those are just a few of the keys, those are the keys that will open the door to submission, and as your relationship grows, and you continue your communication. Here it comes,,,,, wait for it, it is coming, wait for it.

Bam her submission will grow deeper, she will trust more, she will want to follow. In the end she will want to give you everything you need.
The minute you start to question someones limits, that is the time the trust issues come into play, and your relationship may or may not survive, if it does you are still not getting 100% and you never will, because you went back on your word, and that means you lied.

If you the Dominant are who you say you are. If you the Dominant does not have any anger issues. If you the Dominant are truthful and honest, and you do what you say your going to do, there is no end to the submission, there are no limits, well within reason.

I have something I live by. I never ask someone to do something I have not already done or I would not do. That includes needle play which I will admit I am very good at.
Needle play however is a very hard limit for Arianna and I fully respect that. Even if she came to me and wanted to try I would probably not because I know her fear of needles.

Your submission can and will grow under the right hands , but it depends on many factors, it also depends on what you want out of your relationship.

The start is the getting to know each other prior to any type of play, and you need to make it a point up front that is your intentions, getting to know each other.

In the past I have ragged on married men who cheat, I have also explained how they use you as an escape , an escape into a fantasy world they cannot have at home.
The things they are looking for is things their wives will not do, or they are to ashamed to bring the subject up.

Firs thing is he will not leave his wife, this is more true if he has kids. He is not going to lose his house and everything else, including paying child support.
What he has at home is security, he has someone who makes sure all the bills are paid, someone to cook and clean house, do laundry, and fuck from time to time.
You are there to fill the gap, you are there for one thing and one thing only, the Kink.

Entering a relationship any relationship for that matter you want to be number one, not two or three, number one.

Seeing a weekend warrior you are not getting anything out of the lifestyle. At the end of the day after a couple of hours of play you get in your car and drive home alone, you also wake up alone, and you go to bed alone.

You are now a piece of the pie, you are not the whole pie, just a slice, and you will continue being a slice until you figure out you have been played.

Some will play the fear game with you, the intimidation game and you fall for it. That is no way to start out a relationship. If you cannot communicate you have nothing.

You who are single it is not hard to find a partner, and it is easier to find the right partner, but you have to play the game of patience. Patience is the key and if you follow your own rules, your own guidelines , your own instinct it will happen. If at anytime you feel something is not right when you meet someone, excuse yourself and leave, you have lost nothing but an hour or so, which could of turned into months of drama and heartache.

I do not want to demand submission , I do not want to tell you to call me Sir Or Master , I want to earn it. When you kneel in front of me I want it to be because it is a need for you not just to please. I want you to crawl to me because you have the need.

Since the 50 shades epidemic , Doms have sprouted up like weeds , I call these Doms Kia Reo’s.
They have cheap payments, high maintenance , and very undependable.

I would hope you would want more out of a relationship , I would hope you think your better than that.

BDSM is not about sex , BDSM is not about learning how to suck cock, or train your ass.

BDSM is about respect, structure , communication , and finding your submission. Yea the kink is nice but you should take small steps.
Meeting someone in a motel once or twice a month is just kink and your being used. I know some are fine with this type of arrangement and if that is your game and your not looking for anything more , then more power to you.

I want everything you said you would not do when I first met you, no pressure no questions. I want to get you to that point, I want you to have the need to please.
This is done by being who you said you were, and doing what you promised. This is done by providing the structure , the stability , and the security you promised.

It is not a game , it is about being yourself.

mind

vile