Archive for the Daddy Doms Category

Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/observations/

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.

trust

Vile

BDSM And My Structure

Posted in 24/7, An Owned Slave, Argue, Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Munch, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Daddy Doms, Dominants Protocol, etiquette, http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Structure, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Private Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave on June 6, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Structure no matter the lifestyle is needed , be it vanilla , Daddy Dom , Baby girl , Dominant and submissive , or Master and Slave , and last Domestic Discipline. Structure insures the home is ran smoothly and consistent. Structure insures the family or Master and Slave are on the same page.
Along with Structure comes come rules. Rules are needed to provide structure.
Even when the slave is out rules are followed and they are meant to give the slave a sense of direction. Rules are meant to provide a sense of direction under any circumstances.
A Slave or submissive is a direct reflection of their Dominant or Master. The Training is a direct reflection of the Dominant or Master and while out at a local event be it a Munch or a MAsT meeting or anything that is BDSM related the way your property acts comes back on the Dominant or Master.
While nothing may be said there is talk.

I will give a little insight , while at a recent munch I allowed Arianna to be open to speak as she wanted to. Sitting at a table with a few friends Arianna was laughing and joking having a good time.
As the munch ended everyone opted to go to a nearby Restaurant , we were all seated together and Arianna was laughing and making jokes.

The next day my email on fetlife was flooded with comments on how different Arianna acted the previous night. Everyone enjoyed hearing her crack jokes, and laughing. I explained to another Dominant it was protocols I had in place and that night she was allowed to be open.

If you take a look at http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Structure

He speaks of standing orders , standing orders are a part of structure and protocols. Standing orders are as follows. Arianna brings me dinner after sitting my plate down she thanks me for allowing her to serve me, she then ask permission to sit. She will not begin to eat until I have taking my first bite. She will ask permission to go to the bathroom , shower , even shave.
When going out I choose her clothes, her nail polish and even how her hair will be done. With the above I am providing structure.

Everything we do is planned , I plan things out one week , two weeks and at times three weeks. We could be going to a Munch or MAsT meeting , out to a park , like last weekend we spent the day at Fort Desoto over near Tampa. I very seldom do anything spontaneous but at times I may have something I want to do and we do it.

Arianna’s mother may call and ask for our help , I will tell Arianna what days we are available and the hours we are available, and that goes with anyone who may ask for help.

Arianna arrives home and the first thing she does is strip , no clothes are allowed while home. She may however request to put on what we call slave dresses. These are very long dresses that touches the ground and have very lite and thin material. The stripping is a protocol.

Now your thinking wow Vile that is to much work , or your way to strict , or your to controlling, or you may be thinking I could never live that way.
The truth is all of the above is obtainable and is really fairly easy , once you the Dominant or Master puts everything in place.

All of the above should be worked out before entering the relationship. What structure will be in place , what protocols will be in place, and depending on how well you know the sub or slave what rules you will be putting in place. What many fail to see is rules are meant to provide structure and a sense of security.

Sending nude pics is not a rule or videos Masturbating , those are in noway meant to help with anything, with the exception of helping with humiliation , because most will send just to please , not because they want to.

Structure must be what ? I have said this a 1000 times , consistent and consistent on a daily basis, if you are not consistent everything you have put in place will not work and the sub or slave will see that you are not in full control. You cannot be a Dominant when you want to be , there is no on and off switch.

Your thinking I could never be that submissive , I could never give up that much control to someone. I am telling you under the right Dominant you could and you would want to give more and more and then spend time trying to figure out how to give even more.

I posed the question to Arianna when we first met how deep do you want to take your submission ? How do you see yourself living on a daily basis as owned property , a slave? Is there anything you need for me to add or put into place that will help you ? Her answer to all of those questions was I do not know.

Two and a half years later Arianna is not giving me input , she is sharing her thoughts and looking for ways to deepen her submission.

I had a Master tell me not long ago man that is just to much work , that is not my thing. My question was how much do you care about your slave ? Are you not willing to invest the time needed to put everything in place? How long do you want your relationship to last ?

You expect the submissive or slave to follow rules why would you expect them not to have expectations ?

Last year Arianna and I went to a local MAsT and the first question posed to me was how do you two argue ? I look at Arianna with a puzzled look , and I am thinking what the fuck is he thinking about? What kind of question is that ?

I look at him and I say we Don’t argue we don’t fight , I have never raised my voice towards Arianna.

How is this possible ? With all of the above, if you implement structure and your consistent , your relationship will flourish and grow with no end in sight.

When I ask people this question no one can give me a straight answer. Why do you argue ?

The above is just my opinion and nothing more. I am not in anyway judging anyone or telling someone how they should be living.
If you think that well to fucking bad.

Some say arguing is good but we all know that is a crock of bullshit , when you argue you say things that hurts ones feelings. Those words are a calm mans thoughts. Bet that. If your fighting and he calls you a stupid bitch he means it. Those are the thoughts he has when he is calm.

erotic3

Vile

B. E. S. T. slave training.

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM and The Master, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, compatibility, Daddy Doms, gullible submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://fetlife.com/groups/5290, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, slave, Submission, submissive, Trainer A Slave on April 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is not often I pimp to many blogs or Web Sites but when I do it is for a good reason. To me it is kinda like recommending someone for a job , or someone asking me to be a reference for someone which I never do.

I learned a very long time ago not to stick my neck out for anyone , with the fall of a well known Gorean Master who got into a lot of trouble and did a little Prison time.
While at a munch last week I was speaking with another Dominant about him , and how he fell from grace. He was very well respected and really had it made. I believe when he got into trouble he was living with nine slaves. So for those reasons I never I mean never put myself out there like that any longer.

Our world the world we cherish because we are allowed to be who we are , we get to live our life the way we need and want to. We get to be us, we get to be real..

So here I am pimping so I guess I am back tracking a little but what I want to share about B.E.S.T. Slave Training is there is a wealth of information there. You can literately spend six months there and never read the same thing.

B.E.S.T. Slave Training also has a Fetlife group as well and is fairly active and Cuffsmaster who owns the group always takes part in the topics.

Many times it seems Dominants or Master who have been in the lifestyle for and length of time , spend way more time telling people who they are and what they have done , instead of reaching out to others , or criticizing the way other Doms live their lives and how wrong they are. There is nothing more irritating than having to listen to someone about all of their accomplishments in life. ME, ME , ME ,ME.

Most of what I blog about is about BDSM relationships , D’s and M’s but most you can even relate to Vanilla relationships as well. Because any relationship has to be about communication. Communication is the down fall of most.

Two things are needed before training begins , A Dominant who is sincere in what he wants and a Submissive or Slave who is sincere in moving forward as she is seeking freedom.

When I was in my early teens I read a book for History class. It was called Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee. It was by far the deepest book I had ever read, and when I was finished I was like What ? So I read it again , and again and still did not fully understand it.

Today when I read something I want it clear and in a language I can understand , now I am not stupid by any means , but I love to open a book and be like Bam.

B.E.S.T. Slave Training going into a lot of information , but it is written very well, easy to follow and understand , and the good thing is you can find just about any topic your interested in.

I always encourage new Dominants to perv the site because of the wealth of information. It also gives you not only a Beginning but a steady flow of information. There is no book that can tell you how to form a D’s Or M’s relationship but you can gain good information. What works for me may not work for another Dominant.

I love sharing my life here , it is more of a place for me to think and vent at the same time. I also enjoy helping other , and at times offering advice.

You read about every ones life, their new path in the D’s lifestyle , you hear the sorrow, the bitching , the complaining, fucking , sucking, and everything in between.

The Grand Daddy of it all is the submissive or Baby Girl who is seeing the so called Married Dominant. His wife knows and does not care if he see’s other people. Do you really believe this ? Are you really that naive ? Second this man or so called man is no way in any form a Dominant. This is a man who cannot even run his own home. He will see you once a week for an hour or so , maybe twice a month or even longer. He fills you will the words of love and he is going to leave his wife when the time is right. Think about it if his life was so bad he would of already left.

To you subs or Baby girls who see married men and your trying to rip a home apart because you cant find your own man, that is all good because youa re used merchandise and nothing more , I would doubt anyone else would even want you..

Now over the past two years or so , since I began my journey of blogging , I have for what ever reason opened up my life to everyone. The good , the bad and the ugly.

I have also shared my extensive training process with my slave, my property , my wife and best friend. I explained in such detail it would of been almost like you were there watching.

Many new Dominants who come to me for advice , I point them in the direction of B.E.S.T. Slave Training. Much of what I use today comes from there. Training is not something that takes place in a one week period , four weeks or three months. Training is continuous, there is not a day that goes by I do not learn something.

new Dominant coming into the lifestyle looking for a Submissive or a slave you have to have the right tools. Even when giving the right tools if you do not use them and you decide to go on your own way because now you know everything , you will crash and burn.

I have brought most of this up before , but here lately I have had several new Dominants contact me, and what I am sharing is the best tools available today. Your not going to use everything , but you will be able to put a solid plan together.

B.E.S.T. Slave Training Fetlife
https://fetlife.com/groups/5290

http://bestslavetraining.com/

This will not work

shades

What Is A Master And Their Role In The M’s Lifestyle

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, A Masters Creed, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Bdsm friends, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Daddy Doms, Dominance, Dominant, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive on April 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have argued this topic with other Dominants for many years , and no matter who you speak with 99 % of the time the answer will be different , we all have our own opinions.

So the question is who is right and who is wrong ? In most cases no one is wrong, in most cases everyone is right , because that is the dynamics of their relationship.

I tried not long ago to explain to an up coming Dominant and Master he does own. I tried to explain if your new and coming into the local community we have steps that have to be taken. We have standards and protocols that have to be followed. Now no matter where you live, what state , city , county , or country , there will a a Dominant who stands out in the community your in, someone who is respected. He is not a leader per say but someone who has a voice , someone who is heard.

We are to quick to judge someone , we are to quick to call someone a fake , because they do not follow your steps or my steps. What we fail to see is how their relationship is working, and even then it is not even any of our Business.

Many years ago I was asked to speak at a local munch, and the topic was Training. While speaking another Master started asking questions about a previous relationship I had been in which was short lived. This was completely off topic , but I listened and once he was finished , I simply told him if he had any questions about someone he should come to the horse and get the answers instead of listening to a Jackass. The debate got pretty heated and soon our voices began to rise , and we left on very bad terms…

Several years go by , Arianna and I are together and I receive am email. Master Vile I would like to invite you to our Munch to speak. What ? Are you kidding me ? This has to be spam , I know it is because this Master would never think of sending me an email.
I am talking to Arianna about it, and I am telling her it is a trap, there is something going on, and he wants to pick up where we left off. So Arianna and I load up and off we go.
Once in and the introductions were done we looked at each other shook hands and on my end , I could still feel a little tension, but as the night went on it did get better. Today we are good friends and he also found out that everything that was said was false. I had nothing to prove , so I had no reason to explain myself , to him or the pope for that matter.

I posted the question on Fetlife. What is the Difference between a Dominant and a Master , or you can through Daddy in the loop as well. Times have change over the past ten years, and I can remember going to my first Munch , and even going back more my first Black Rose meeting . Dominants sat with respect , and honor , they were not as quick to pass judgement on others, and many were willing to step up and help when needed.

Today much of the Munch’s and MAsT consist of the nasty word Drama. As Arianna sit and listen we look at each other and just shake our heads at each other.

Fuck this , fuck that , fuck them , who the hell are they to say that? Who the fuck are they to do that ? It just goes on and on , and I sit there listening in total disbelief that people actually live in the manner they are speaking. Drama is a cancer , and it is never ending.

This past week Arianna’s mother and I had a very in depth discussion and I had to put the breaks on a few things. When I was finished her mother Apologized not only to me but Arianna and that is something she had never done in Arianna’s 38 years. Make no mistake I run my home , I am head cheese, I am head honcho , I am the general and emperor, what I say goes. That being said I protect my home and I do what is needed to keep a positive flow going and eliminate any problems or drama before they come to light.

To this day , listen because this is the truth , Arianna and I have yet to have an argument. We have not even come close to having an argument or a disagreement. Now there have been things we have talked about and I do take Arianna’s advice at times. I talk she listens , she talks and I listen, after something thinking most of the time I go with Arianna’s idea , not all the time but it does happen.

A Master is a leader in the community , he offers help and Assistance when needed , he gives advice to those who are seeking it , and is non judgmental.
Today what many fail to see as far as Dominants go , being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig, once a week gig, or once a month gig. You are 24/7 365. Once both have come to an agreement to enter a relationship, the dominant agrees to take on the responsibility. To my knowledge there is not an on and off switch when it comes to submission.

A Master is a leader in his Local community, he takes part in different functions , helps and takes part in teaching his point of views when it comes to the lifestyle. He shares his Knowledge , shows what makes his relationship work. A Master Is non Judgmental and open minded.

I myself am very open minded when it comes to different aspects of the lifestyle and the way people choose to live I make it a point to learn something new everyday, lifestyle related and non related.

A Master enjoys helping others expecting nothing in return ,A Master is in control , and gives 100% communication.

Here is an answer that was giving When I asked a question on fetlife. What the difference is between a Dominant and a Master.

What sets a Master apart for me, is that a Master is someone who is recognized as such for their contributions to community, for workshops, for volunteering, and participation with others. A Master reveals themselves with a strength of presence and natural gravitation to a leadership role, which they exercise through that recognition. This takes confidence, balanced with humor and humility. A Master has unique characteristics, that cause other Dominants to recognize and respect their wisdom and seek their council.

In my time in the lifestyle I have never heard someone explain a Masters role in this depth……

It is not to say that some Dominants do not step up to the plate or Daddy Doms do not step up to the plate because I have met and know a few.

What I do know is if more leaders do not step up to the plate , the art of our lifestyle will die. BDSM and everything it stands for will become a Myth just like the lost city of Atlantis .

creed

Vile

The Truth About Daddy Dominants

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM TPE Relationships, Cheating Dominant, Collar, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Fake Dominants, fuck buddy, kinky, Local events, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First I am not speaking about every Daddy Dominant in the lifestyle , I am however speaking about 98% or higher .
Baby Girls in the lifestyle for the most are really different than those who are submissive or even a Slave. Most Baby Girls do not live with their Daddy Dominants, while I am not sure what the numbers are the percentage is very high.

Most Daddy Dominants are married and cheating , most Baby Girls do not care that they could be responsible for ripping a family apart because they are selfish. Selfish enough to try and separate the father from his children. In those cases I look down on both and I have zero respect for either.

Baby Girls first coming into the lifestyle are very vulnerable, all are really clueless when it comes to the lifestyle. Most if not all are clueless when it comes to finding a good Dominant.

So A week or so ago I was speaking with a Baby Girl who mentioned the same thing I am speaking about , how the Doms wanted a relationship but they did not want the responsibility.

So while chatting with this Baby girl she told me she had been talking to a Daddy Dom or maybe just a Dom , but when I asked if he was married she said luckily no , she too has had the same problem with married Dominants.

Again I am not speaking about all Daddy Doms , there are some good ones out there who have their baby girls best interest at heart.

You know I spent almost 7 years in a Daddy Dom role , I will also be the first to admit that was a bad turning point in my relationship but I did it because it was a need for the slave, little did I know she saw that as a weakness in me , because I was willing to change who I was.

My role was not an easy one , I set goals for her , and I made sure they were followed through with. I had rules , and protocols that were followed. Again the weakness was me changing who I was.

Once your Baby girl , submissive or slave spots a weakness they will prey on that to see how far they can push you.

While our relationship is strictly an M’s , it is based more on structure , rules and protocols. I have never left a mark on Arianna , the key word here being NEVER. One I know her limits and I respect them , two I care to much for her.

This statement is going to hit some nerves. The term Daddy Dom is somewhat new to the lifestyle. Another for the most I do not even think in a Daddy baby girl relationship the term BDSM should even be used. The main reason being many do not have rules , many do not have protocols , nor any type of structure. The final the only time a collar is put on is during play.
While at a MasT meeting sometime ago a Daddy Dom called me aside and told me I was abusing Arianna, I should not even be in the lifestyle because I did not know what I was doing. He said I was to strict, and I did not give her any freedom.
I thought for a second and I asked his what was he even doing at a MasT meeting. MasT means Masters And Slaves Together.
I have been approached by Dominants who have asked me basically the same thing. These are people who do not have a true understanding of what the dynamics of a M’s relationship is really about.
Again this is not my thoughts to all Daddys Doms within the lifestyle.
However there is a reason why you do not see many Daddy , Baby girl relationships active in the local community, who knows?

Books are an excellent reference , and you can obtain a great deal of information from books , good and bad , but you cannot live your life according to what someone else has written it will not work. We as humans have different needs , different kinks , we need different structure , and rules. Books can give you an out line but in the end your just reading someones opinion, just like my blog.

Most Daddy Doms do not collar their property, well the first meeting but after that the collar is not brought up except during play.

We need to learn to accept everyone for who they are , and what would help is maybe learning to understand our friends a lot more. The more we understand the more we grow, the more we grow , then we are open to more ideas.

I have a very dear friend Master R , him and I live total different separate lives , we both have total different views on how a M’s relationship should be ran, how a house should be ran, but we are open enough to understand we both have different needs. We also know we can depend on each other , and today in the lifestyle that is really hard.

That is why when you first meet someone being able to clearly communicate is so important, being able to understand where each other is coming from. Knowing what is expected of each other. How you see yourself in a relationship , be it Daddy Dom Baby Girl , Dominant , and Submissive or Master and Slave.

I have said this before , my way is not the only way, and just with any book , after reading some 1000 post maybe you can lay the ground work to something awesome…

Again there are a few Daddy Dominants I respect but for the most man I cant even say.

Many who call themselves Daddy Doms are married and want a piece of ass on the side. So you sit and wait and wait and wait for that call or text and then you get a couple of hours alone, then you wait another two weeks or a month and in some cases longer. You are an object and if you are happy being an object then so be it I am happy for you.

Daddy

Vile

Interview With a Little With A Touch Of Primal

Posted in Baby Girl, bdsm, Daddy Doms, openminded, primal, Primal sex, Submission, submissive with tags , , on January 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I love doing these what I call Interviews. It lets us deeper into someones life and maybe we hit on things that is not shared on their blog.

I stopped because one of the last ones basically the whole interview was a lie and I know this because they confessed shortly after , so I felt uncomfortable with sharing information that may or may not be true.

This is a different story I believe you are going to enjoy this interview , she is awesome and very straight forward , with a touch of primal….

I try not to get to personal but some of the questions I ask are to make someone think….

I also want to say I like her enough , my slave and I have invited her to our home in February and we will take her to an amusement park for the day then out to dinner. I also want to say I do not invite just anyone to my home. There are a few I have met on here I would but it is not very often..

So here we go……

Thank you for asking and I agree, if you are going to do it, tell the truth, shame the devil and have a good giggle ;-).  I’m sorry if this is long winded but you know how Self Important us Littles tend to feel about ourselves (giggle).

  1. Tell us a little about yourself . How many children do you have and how do you manage your day working ?My blog has changed names a few times but the last and final is Searching 4 Selina.  I have no problem embracing my Super Villian façade when it comes to dealing with things that scare me but I am learning to stop hiding behind my secret identity and to allow others to see the softer side of myself.

Like Shrek said, I am like an onion.  I may make you cry at times but odds are good you will laugh as well.  It can be painful but you keep coming back because I just add that extra spice you need!  I grew up in a military family raised by my Aunt and Uncle.  I have 3 older brothers who are very protective and old fashioned with one in the life style who is a Master and Sadistic.  I have always been very sheltered by the men in my family and in a way it has always allowed me to take chances and risks as I will always land on my feet thanks to them.  I am affectionately called the “Spoiled Little Princess” and that is a true description at times.  I will take as much as you allow me to.  Why?  Because I am the princess of course (giggle).

I have 3 children whom I love with all my heart.  They are all different and all very creative.  I grew up with “parents” who encouraged me to be myself and I passed this along to mine.  I ended up with a cheerleader, football player and a self celebrated “awkward, Social geek, and friend extraordinaire”.  I am THAT MOM… I drove a decked out mini van (until it went stupid), wear the shirts with my kids names to events and volunteer with the booster clubs, and for the youngest.  Whatever weirdness she is into (anime) I embrace, even to the point of tolerating Harley in DC.  She has a best friend who is gay and open in middle school.  She has adopted him and I call him my son as well.

As for work, I am a office/Program Manager so I have to be ON IT when it comes to most things.  I am highly respected not only for my knowledge but because those who meet me find me personal able and approachable when they need assistance and trust me when I say I will help I will help.  I am the subject matter expert and I speak my mind “respectfully”.  I have a schedule on which I do everything that helps me to remain in control/charge and to get things done.

2. How long have you been in the lifestyle and when did you come to realize you were a little ?  In a way I have always been in the life style.  My Aunt and Uncle were D/s and I got to grown up seeing the peace that it can bring to a relationship.  I think I have always known I was little but before they called it a “sweet spirit”.  I have always collected dolls, always been a hugger, and always LOVED Disney and embraced the innocence of life.  This has made my Aunt and Uncle’s children (my brothers and sisters) more protective of me as well.

3 Can you please explain the term little and what it means to you ..FOR ME:  A Little is someone in the BDSM Life style who has a inner Little person.  Its not a personality disorder but a genuine way of looking at things.  We like sparklies, we tend to giggle a lot, we squeak and squeal when we are happy you can feel that energy.  For me, my little is always a part of me.  At work they call me quirky as I hide in plain sight.  I wear pink bunny slippers when I want to get out of my heels, I have been know to skip down the halls after a long meeting, and once when meeting a new section head who was OVERLY STUFFY I sang the Mr. Rogers theme song under my breath

4. How many D’s little relationships have you been in and what happened ? I have had 5 and they were

1 – MP who was a Master.  I was with him from the time I was 21 to 25.  I didn’t know that we had a D’s relationship but rather viewed it as old fashioned.  After he proposed and we were planning the wedding he presented me with my 1st collar and explained it as well as the direction of our relationship moving forward.  We had already been doing spankings, and light bondage, I called him Daddy and he took care of me.  But naming it like that, I ran afraid at the feelings of invoked.

2 – CSM I was 35 to 37 and we got together not long after my separation and through my divorce.  He was  a Sadist and loved me very much.  He could cause suck pain but loved me so well.  I use to be afraid to tell people about our play sessions afraid they would think badly of him but having meet others here on WP I can be proud of my time with him.  He got sent to Japan so we had to end as I couldn’t go there or take my kids and he knew it wasn’t right to keep me waiting 3 years.

3 – Younger guy who was poly.  It was a bad experience as he had a slave who HATED ME and for the most part much of our relationship was to make her happy.  He even gave us the same collar because she hated that I didn’t have one while she had to wear one.  Also, he pretty much just piggy backed onto what CSM did and rules set by him.  He also went to Japan

4 – Garrick….Garrick was Primal and online only.  He and I were friends on Fetlife who found we had TONS in common.  We didn’t set out to enter into a DD/bg dynamic but rather…it just happened, two Primal people walk into a bar so to speak.  Even though we were long distance he really understood the needs I had and did his best to provide.  However he was married with a lot going on and became over whelmed and ended up abandoning me.  We have since spoken and gotten closure and it’s nice to have my friend back again.

5 – DK…goodness DK was a SAGA!  DK was Alpha and vanilla who loved me enough to try D’s and to try to be my Daddy.  He was good at the D’s part and found freedom in giving into his darker urges of being dominant and bondage (I once spent a weekend chained to his bed as I kept threatening to leave) and providing that FIRM HAND that I needed.  However he wasn’t a Daddy.  He did not feel those Daddy urges and could not REALLY understand my Little.  In the end, I had to accept that fundamentally we were NOT as good a fit as everyone thought and end the relationship.  I am blessed that we are still good friends which made the break up that much easier.

  1. What are you looking for in a Daddy Dominant? This is a hard question to answer as it is hard to define what I need in a Daddy.

#1 DADDY DOM!  He has to have a back bone, speak up and not get trampled under my feet.  I want him to put that bass in his voice and call me on my actions no matter how little and he needs to be a Daddy.  He must feel those Daddy urges and not just because I am for them.  Need to put me to bed, need to check on me, need to bath me or ensure that I brush my teeth and wash my face before bed.  MUST have that Daddy Dom tone and look DOWN!!!  The kind who will pull you in close, run his hand up the back of your neck then grab a fist full of hair to pull your head back when you get out of line
#2 – Affectionate and caring.  I love to snuggle and cuddle so having a DD that feels the same is important.  He will need to understand that as much as I crave sex there will be times when I need to put my hair in pony tails, crawl into my pj’s and hide away.  I need him to hold me and understand this is a part of me.

#3 – Sense of humor.  I am a Brat after all and I am going to get into mischief.  He will need to laugh it off when he tells me I can’t go somewhere by myself and I roll out with a call full of stuffies…he needs to be able to appreciate my creativeness even if he does have to punish me (not saying that he would HAVE TO punish me of course – giggle-)

#4 – Crave the power exchange.  If he needs to choose my panties every day, remind me to exercise, drink my water, go to bed, stay away from pepsi then he should DO IT, not ask me if he can.

#5 – Sexual…I need to be used sexually and I need to be used hard.  Fucked not only for my pleasure but for his as well.  CSM use to call me into his office when eh was stressed on something.  He would bend me over his desk, whisper in my ear “Not a word Little One” and pound the hell out of his pussy.  He would then fix my clothes, kiss my forehead and send me back to my office.

#6 – Protective…I have shared a little recently on my blog that I have a bit of social anxiety in some aspects.  I am 5’1 and in large groups of people I have a fear of getting separated from my group or run over by people not watching where they are going.  I don’t need him to make a huge things just pull my arm though his and hold me close.  I hate to order when dining out so I need him to order for me and not make it noticable that the wait staff make my skin crawl.  I am always nervous I am going to piss them off and they will spit in my food or they think I am stupid when I order from the kids menu or just judging me for my food choices period.

#7 – Assertive and firm in his role as my Daddy. If I am wrong then tell me I am wrong.  If I am to be punished don’t ask me if I should be, tell me to assume the position, and if you don’t like something then SPEAK UP because if he doesn’t then I will and its down hill from there.  As the Daddy it is his right to lay down the law and my duty to follow.  If I don’t know the law I can’t follow so there’s the pickle.

#8 Able to communicate his needs and desires to me.  I want to be useful and to serve him.  I can’t if he doesn’t tell me what he needs.  If he doesn’t tell me when I have let him down then I can’t fix it and if he doesn’t tell me that he misses me or appreciates me or even desires me then I am caught up in my own head telling myself god only knows what and that could be a problem.

  1. How are you different from other Little’s? I think what makes me different is that I am not JUST Little.  I have my Little needs, but also, I have the slave needs of desiring TPE and to hand over all control to my Daddy.  I have my primal feline needs and need an orgasm to relax and center myself so I’m a little more slutty than other Littles and I have found that I am a little to straight forward or more so than the others that I have meet.  I get to know a Dom first, without considering him as a “Daddy” possibility.  I don’t judge his kinks or pass but want to know HIM.  When they press me to be “their’s” I have no trouble saying “thank you but no thank you.  In the past I have had Dom’s ask why and I have told them, if he was meant to be my Daddy he would not have to ask for my submission, it would have already been leaking that way and all he need do is pull me in. I have only asked myself twice if I would submit to a Daddy and each of those times I should not have and stuck to my gut feelings.

    7. Knowing what you do now , is your search different when looking for a Dominant than lets say 2 years ago ? Yes it is, before I had a “vision” of what my Daddy was going to be like and over this journey I have meet and talked to to so many different types that I have found that what I WANTED and what I NEED are totally different.  I am more aware of who I am, of how I became this way and more secure in WHAT I am.  I don’t’ let labels define me or others but learned to use them as guiding points on my path.

    8.How important is it to be who you are?  It is VERY important to me!  I have found that when I try to be something that I am not, I am not happy and it causes problems for me.  I NEED to express all sides of my personality.  I NEED to be free to be me or I can’t be happy and I tend to start to resent the situation preventing me from it.  I have to stress I grew up ACCEPTED for me, over protected for it yes but accepted none the less.  My brothers know my short comings and took care of me.  They never made me feel less for it but always made me feel loved that I can balance a $50,000 budget at work but suck at balancing my own check book.  MP never made me feel less of a mother because I use to have Disney movie days with the kids growing up but would rather come over and build the blanket fort for us (I suck at the structure part of it -giggle-).  I am smart, sexy, sassy, snarky, and slutty and I am okay with that  so everyone else should be as well.

    9. Are you looking for a Daddy who is looking for a family , meaning to include your children a father figure ?  My children have 2 wonderful fathers who have worked together to put aside their ego’s and co-parent 3 wonderful children.  I would expect for my Daddy to join that tribal at some point but to also understand they have FATHER’S who provide for them, he will be back up where needed and when they are with us.  Our triad has always include my oldest daughters step mother Tru and I would hope that my Daddy would join us in the same fashion.

    10.  You had mentioned you are primal when it comes to sex , could you explain what you mean by primal ?  For me, attraction isn’t based on a certain “body type”.  In person, its been the way they smell, their voice tone, or even the way that they carry themselves.  It makes my nipples hard, or my panties wet and I want to know more.  I find myself watching them, learning them and plotting their down fall into my bed.  I have often sat a dinner and just craved to run my tongue up their neck and have even done so a couple of times, the need to taste them that strong.  I am submissive in my relationship needs but when it comes to sex my feline has her own.  She will use whatever is necessary to be feed.  I have used puppy dog faces, sad eyes, tears…to weaken a Dom and get him to let down his guard and pull me close.  Once he does I use what I have learned about him to my advantage to seduce him.  Nibbling his neck and saying the words I know turn him on, running my hands along his chest.  I actually had a guy whose weakness was stocking and heals.  I “twisted” my ankle and when he was rubbing my foot to check for swelling I started rubbing his crotch with it (silly Dom’s – Giggle).  I call it “breaking the Doms” because afterwards they will apologize afterwards for taking advantage of me which always makes me giggle.  They ask why giggle, I admit the truth and they get all “Domly” and “explain” how it will be from that point on.  I always grin and say “OTAY” and it becomes an issue I’m not repenant about my actions.  If you want to make me sorry, punish me, if you don’t then just accept that I enjoyed it and lets move on.  There have been those that I wasn’t able to seduce and found them all the more that repremand and firm putting of me in my place…just YUMMIE!

There have been men who capture my attention with their words, in fact, I never really know what will capture my feline side but once sighted she “hunts” them.  There have even been a few times when she had discontinued the hunt finding someone lacking or not the meal she envisioned them to be.  Funny enough, I have never regretted sex with anyone but I have regretted a few relationships (giggle)

  1. You stated some of your friends do not agree with your primal side , is there anything you would like to say ? I wouldn’t say “AGREE” with my primal side but it was hard for them to understand that I am okay with my slutty needs and side.  I don’t’ view sex the same as them.  I need a connection to have sex so I don’t just fall in bed with ANYONE but when I feel that connection and attraction…I just want to ride him like a pony at a carnival or suck him like a Tootsie Roll and I’m trying to answer the age old question…how many licks does it take to get to the center (giggle).  However I am also a little more vocal about my needs and have no shame on how people take it.  I am not A SLUT, I am HIS SLUT and I’m okay with that.  However I also had to realize that my friends were concerned out of love and now they understand that I am not just slutty but I am safe and slutty.

    12. You are a little but how much control do you want to give up in a relationship ? I NEED to give up total control in my D’s relationship.  I am seeing a TPE (Total Power Exchange) where I know that my Daddy is the boss in all things.  Now this doesn’t mean micromanage as I am a pretty smart girl but I do want to always answer to him.  I want him to take charge of my weight loss, my eating and sleeping habits (they are HORRIBLE) as well as to ensure that I am not blowing my money on ever Dooney/Coach bag that I see (giggle).

I love checking in with my Daddy when I am away from him, having to ask for permission to masturbate (orgasm control) is such a turn on to me, and knowing that he CARES if I do or don’t do these things makes me feel truly loved and secure in my relationship.  I think that many don’t realize that growing up the way I did, my uncle and brothers showed me the benefits of submitting to another’s will so it comes natural to me.  I don’t’ feel the need to buck or fight, once I have that faith and trust in someone I can exhale and let it go.  Maybe that is a down side to the way that I was raised…but it is what it is right.

interview

Vile

I Can’t Feel Sorry For You

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, BDSM 101, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Dominant, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Giving Head, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock on September 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I do try and give advice, the advice I give it from a males point of view. I am not here to lie to you , nor do I have a reason to lie. People lie because they have something to gain.
I do not even know you, so if you think about it I have zero anything to gain. Did that make sense ?
Why do I share with you? Because I do not want you to go through some of the things women have gone through with me in the past.
I have been on the predators side, I have been on the hunt for easy prey. I knew who and what to look for. I would use and use until I grew tired of you, or maybe I would just get tired of you being fucking needy, or your whining got on my nerves. Maybe I fed off of your self pity to get what I wanted, nah I did, but you can only eat so much, and the same old food gets tiring.
Just because I fucked you did not mean I liked you, just because I fucked you did not mean I wanted you around.

This is why it is important to ask questions, this is why there are people out here that will give you advice and good advice. It is up to you to decide if your going to listen, or your just going to take the ball and run.

What hurts is being lied to, what hurts more is being led on to believe something that will never happen or come to light.

You know when your sitting across the table talking if you are being lied to or not, or being fed a bunch of bull shit, you know this but there is something in your head that pushes the ignore button.

I blog because I want to share, I blog because it is an outlet, it is my place to come when I just want to get away. No one has ever seen me post anything that is negative about the way my life is going, or how fucked up my day is, or how fucked up my life is.

So why would you want to get on here and blog about how fucked up things are, after you have been told ? You asked others for their opinion, you asked for advice on what you should do, you did not listen, and then here we go with the poor me blog.

Everyone of you are better than that, everyone of you are smarter than that. Most of you have made some good friends on here, I know I have.

While it is true we want to know how your day is going, we want the awesome.

The reason Arianna never watches the news anymore is just because all there is , is bad news very little good.

You know what you want out of life, and you are all to good to settle for less.

BDSM in a D’s or M’s relationship for the most is a mind thing, getting in your head, once that happens, man it is so hard to break away.

I lost a good friend last month to suicide, very young a whole lot of life ahead of her, but for her it was easier to check out.

Hook up with a good friend stay with them and in a time of need pick up that phone. This is no game, and it is unfortunate there are those out there that do not care, if your here tomorrow or not.

Game plan you have to have a game plan going into a D’s or M’s relationship, if you do not have a plan, or any expectations you will fail. The question is how many years do you want to waste, how much time do you want to throw away on something your not sure about.

If you ask for advice, and most of the time you ask more than one person, because your first answer is not what you want to hear so you move from one to another hoping someone will say what you want to hear. The bad news is if they tell you what you want to hear, it may be bad advice..

If your in a bad relationship, you need to communicate, you also need to put your foot down and tell them you want a time limit on when things are going to be fixed, because if they are not, you are walking.

You have to ask yourself a few questions. Why am I doing thing? Why am I allowing me to put myself through this mess? Why am I allowing someone to use me?

You have to want to stand up for yourself, you have to have a need and a goal in life..

You Baby Girls out there. You should have goals, and your Daddy should be helping you reach those goals, that is what a Daddy Dom does.
He should support you no matter what you want to do. He should set goals for you, and make sure you stay on task.
Your Daddy is there to support you, not bring you down.

The problem that most of you have is your Daddy is married. I am not sure why this is the trend today. In the last 5 years or so there has been an explosion of Daddy Doms.

The bad news is, if your Daddy is a Doctor and he is married to a doctor, and you work at Wendy’s guess what? Yea you already know.
If your Daddy works at Wendy’s with you then your chances are good.

This is the game plan I was speaking about, Baby Girl, Submissive, or Slave, you got to have a plan, and you cannot get off track.
If you give in anything that you have hoped for in the future will be gone, and the ball is no longer in your court.

99% of our problems are self inflicting, the other 1% is shit that falls from the sky.
You have your plan and you stick to it. I cannot express enough how important it is to do things by the book no matter how much it sucks, by the book. You do what your suppose to and that 99% will begin to drop, until everything is going your way. I promise the math will work out.

Make sure your Dominant has a plan as well, and do not be afraid to ask what the plan is. It is very important you know everything up front….

depression

Vile

There Is A Clear Difference In Dominants

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Arianna, Baby Girl, Bad Dominant, bdsm, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, http://sirfrancobolli.org/, Married Dominant, Master And Slave, Rules, Sir franco bolli, slave, SouthernSir, Submission, submissive, There Is A Clear Difference In Dominants with tags , , , , , , , on September 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I log into my email and from time to time something catches my eye, and I think Hmmm. So I click on the link and the first two lines has to catch my attention, if not I click the X.

One thing that is for certain is, we as Dominants are all different. How we carry ourselves, our personalities, our views when it comes to the lifestyle, our needs. What type of submissive or slave we need in our life.

Just as every Dominant is different, the same goes with every submissive or slave. Each is different, each has different needs, each takes different care, and yes each needs different rules and protocols.

You have the Romantic Dominant who is loving and sensual, ahhh Such as Franco Bolli.
You have the Daddy Dom such as SouthernSir who is a Daddy Dom but one who does set rules and protocols to help benefit his Baby Girl.

You have the no Protocol Dominants, or maybe those who believe in protocols , and that would be me.
You have Dominants who do not have rules or very few, then you have those Dominants who follow those 128 Basic rules, yes they are out there.

You have Dominants who passes their property around like a board game, you have dominants who force their propriety to take part in unwanted sex acts with others.
Their submissive is there for a couple of reasons. 1 She is scared to leave. 2 the submissive has been giving an overdose of stupid, or 3 the submissive is happy where she is at and truly enjoys her life with her Dominant.

Just because he loves passing his Bitch around and he gets off on watching others fuck her, does not mean he is wrong. That is his kink, that is his need.
I may think he is pretty fucked up, but it is not my place to say he is wrong, because what works for me may not work for him..

It took me about 3 months to put all of Arianna’s rules into place. There are only 25 rules as a matter of fact, and she can recite everyone and not in any particular order. That is something I am proud to say she wanted and needed to do on her own.
I am huge on protocols, as a matter of fact protocols take the place of some rules we already have in place or they go hand in hand.

There is also a clear difference between a D;s Relationship , A Daddy Dom relationship and a Master and Slave relationship. There is also a clear difference between a D’s and M’s relationship, just as there is a bigger difference between a Dominant and a Master.

rubiks-cube

So you take the old Rubiks cube, and you label each one, with a different part of the lifestyle, then you solve it. That is just how many different relationships there are within the BDSM lifestyle.

There are some Subs and Baby girls who did not want or need rules, there are some who do not want or need protocols. The good news is there is a Dominant out there for them, and there are some good Dominants.

There are also so real fucking losers. There are some who should be wearing Tampons because they are just as much a Bitch and the Bitch they are looking for. Yes I am speaking about the Married Dom, most are Daddy Doms, if you do not believe me do a little research, yea I am not going to do all of your leg work. Spend a little time on wordpress, and read all the whiny subs on here , because they never hear or see their married Daddy.. Bawwawawaa Yea cry me a river.
crying

No email, no phone call, no text, no nothing because awe he is to busy with his work, to pick up the phone and give you 10 seconds of his life.
You are submitting to a whiny bitch of a man who cannot run his own home. His wife wont take it up the ass but you will. So now you get to be his Little Baby Girl.

You know what is ever more funny than these wannabe Daddy’s , I am going to guess there are roughly lets say low numbers 15 million people who blog on wordpress, and there has not been one married man with big enough balls to make a comment , about how I talk about pure toxic garbage.

My wife and Slave who I truly love and adore, needs most of the above. She needs the protocols , she needs rules, she needs structure. I knew all of this before entering the relationship. It was not my place to try and change her. Once I agreed to enter such a Micromanaged relationship it was my duty as a Master and Owner to perfect her.

You do not walk in my shoes, You do not have a clue as to what my daily life is. I am ever more sure there are not many who could walk in my shoes or even want to.
I am in a good place, life is good.

Just Do not judge me, or tell me I do not know what I am doing.

bills

To be the man you got to beat the man

Vile

Awesome Interview With A Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, bdsm, commitment, communication, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Dominance, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , on August 17, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I really love doing these interviews , it gives us a different prospective of someones life in our so called dark world.

I love talking to married couples about their life and their personal journey, and what steps they took entering the lifestyle. Last week was a Daddy Dominant and a Baby Girl who had been married 17 years how awesome is that? There are not very many Daddy Doms and Baby girls who have rules and protocols. Although since being on wordpress I have met a few.

Then comes this awesome interview with someone who has become a friend. I have a feeling we will meet in the near future, hoping anyway.

This couple is married, and they have taking the journey into the world of BDSM, and are now living a D’s relationship..

What makes this interview so awesome is Tom goes into great detail about how they were able to open the door, the people they have met and the fakes as well.

Yes my favorite Protocols and some rules as well as a few rituals.

Check out his webpage here ……

http://mysirsmynx.com/mynxs-sir/

http://mysirsmynx.com/2014/04/26/may-i-please-cum/

Hmm is that correct? Anyway its there..

 

Hey Vile- 
 
So here it is interlaced with your original email… Let me know what you think?
 
——–
 
I think by others reading how other people live and sharing their thoughts it may give someone some valuable information.
 
Master Vile- I appreciate the opportunity of being able to contribute to your blog, and even more that someone might have a takeaway which will help their journey and understand a bit more about this lifestyle.
 
 
(1) When did you first becomes interested in the lifestyle , and what degree did you want to take it ? 
 
I never really knew it by definition until Mynx became entrenched in reading about it. It was the FSOG craze which piqued her interest, but she quickly learned of the lack of reality and substance when compared to the real Dominant and submissive “in real life” meanings. 
 
After quizzing her about what she was reading, I decided to read a story which Mynx had just finished by Kallypso Masters, I cannot remember which one. It was at that moment, that my vision became clear regarding the definition of dominant. A true dominant is a leader, and one who is respected for his (or her) decisions by their respective submissive person(s). The understanding of the definition of “Dominant” stopped me in my tracks. Mynx wanted it, I wasn’t sure how to give it in the way that she wanted, and so I read even more. That’s where I learned about safewords, abuse, domineering, a new way to love.and so much more.
 
So Mynx and I have had bedroom kink since our early dating, pre-engagement years, but never really gave it much thought beyond bedroom kinkiness. So like Mynx, I began reading, researching, discovering what it was behind the door of this thing called D/s. I was a Dominant person, people naturally followed and listened. The introspection helped me see that people really were looking to me for help in decisions and how to proceed. Frankly, the reality and gravity of it all scared the shit out of me. It drove me to learn more and made me look at Mynx with a whole new perspective. As much as I was a Dominant person, she was submissive, not by day, but more-so by night. In all of her daylight hours, she is a natural leader and always has been since coming out of her teenage shell. She has excelled at every position she’s ever held.
 
Revelations in hand, I then read a book called “Different Loving” which further changed my perspective of her submission, and, my dominance. At the same time, I couldn’t get enough information from submissive blogs; I was a junkie, a lurker, I had to know and understand more of the submissive mindset and thought process. In these travels, I have discovered that I am not afraid to take what is mine, mine is what she offers; herself.  
 
Sapiosexuality. (sā-pē-ō-sĕk-shü-ăl’ĭ-tē) I am captivated by the allure of poking someone’s brain through wittiness instead of plain sex. It’s a crazy high that I get from a conversation full of innuendos or “a good yarn” as much as it is having sex. I’ve learned that I get the same endorphin rush out of both. Steering that conversation just as a Dom steers a scene is amazingly incredible. It’s the wittiness of the banter which stimulates thought process and drives my desire for more. I find the same desire and wittiness in my Mynx, it just one of many of her endearing qualities.
 
Do I want more? Does Mynx want more? Yes, and yes. But it is about balance. In our present state of relationship given our children who play a major part of our life, put us presently at maximum capacity. 24/7 D/s in a household which includes children of any age if they’re living at home becomes challenging. The suggestive creativity of innuendos is how we survive until we find ourselves alone in some way.
 
 
(2) You had mentioned in an email that some people were not honest, what did you mean by that statement ?
 
Trust or honesty, in any relationship, is one of the most important facets of it. Without it, you cannot evolve in the relationship. Mynx and I are, on blog, an open book. Truly. We live, love and breathe this stuff. Sure, we stub our toe everyone once in a while; neither of us are perfect.
 
“In real life” has grown to mean so much more to Mynx and I, especially since we stopped lurking and started blogging. As part of our mutual quest of understanding, we have pursued a few relationships outside of bloglandia where some people know our real names, our faces and how we live and what we do.These relationships are like gold to Mynx and I. They have helped us evolve, kept us in check, and, in some cases, have been an offline sounding board for challenges or questions. 
 
One such couple we came to know IRL turned out to be very different than their blog would indicate. We had gotten to know them, first through email, then phone, then in person. The relationship ended when we discovered the differences between their blog and the “IRL couple.” The lesson; research and know who you’re speaking with. 
 
For us, we were temporarily paralyzed with fear of meeting anyone else because of the facade which everyone lives behind in bloglandia. It was Mynx who took another chance with Little BoPeep. As anyone who follows our blog knows, the two of them are inseparable now. Yes, they’re different, and yet they’re so much alike. They thrive off of one another. Their interaction and conversation are constant, yet they do not live together. They are sisters but not by birth. I need BoPeep in Mynx’s life for all of the same reasons you have articulated on your blog about miss Arianna needing another in your home. They thrive when they open up to each other about things which subbies and women need to discuss. I believe it is more about the “sub-port” they give one another than anything, but it’s also about a deeper discovery of who they both are, individually and together, which allows for the magic to occur. 
 
Without complete openness, honesty and trust, none of it could ever happened.
 
 
(3) I assume you keep your lifestyle private, do you have friends who share the same interest ?
 
We try to keep to ourselves. There are a few people we have built trust with, and with the exception of one couple outside of bloglandia, all of the friends we talk and correspond with were made through our blog. The thing is, with these select few, we do trust, heavily. We have gotten there through communication and openness, and mostly by not judging. 
 
Everyone is different, their personality, their likes/dislikes, their kinks, how they speak, what they’re passionate about, etc… We have our kinks and on some levels we share common ground with others and their kinks. The major point is, even if their kinks are bizarre (as long as they don’t involve animals or underage people) we’ll talk, and listen. That’s how you learn. If you don’t engage, talk, listen- you’re one of the vanilla people looking in and passing judgment about topics which you may not fully comprehend or understand. Open up your mind and explore it’s darkest depths, admit you find something socially unacceptable -intriguing- and see where your mind takes you. In the end, might discover a whole new set of people with common interests, and could end up as friends.
 
 
(4) Being a Dominant what is it you get out of your relationship ?
 
Mynx and I have always been kinky in the bedroom, from the very first time we were intimate really. I wish I could turn back the hands of time to then and know about the D/s lifestyle. Sexually speaking, I get great pleasure out of Mynx’s pleasure. I love bringing her to the point of her losing all control. I love bringing her to the point where she loses all touch with reality, then embracing her trembling body while her soul returns to it. It’s really that simple. Sure, I may cum 2 or 3 or 4 times during a scene or sometimes not at all. It really depends on how it fits. 
 
As my submissive, she is mine to pleasure, tease, torment, repeat… anytime I wish. She thrives on it. I thrive on it. Are we endorphin addicts? Maybe. Could I go without, yes, sometimes not by choice. My job takes me away anywhere from a day to a couple of weeks at a time. As of late, it’s been 2-4 days at a time. And the worst is that sometimes my communication rhythm is interrupted because of the job commitment. We all know the drill- do more with less, right? 
 
For this reason, our version of D/s requires Mynx to have some degree of independence and independent thinking. I’ve already said that she’s an amazing leader by day with her job, and, I cannot and will not interfere with that. As much as she thrives on the structure of submission, she also has become an even better leader at work since beginning our D/s lifestyle. I believe she needs the release of responsibility which directly feeds her submissive nature. This affords her the ability to confidently give up control to me after work, knowing that I have her’s and my family’s best interest at heart. 
 
She trusts me to do that for her. In return, I expose her most submissive side and it drives my Dominant side even harder; we feed off of each other in this way. It is our version of “The Power Exchange” or TPE. Yes, I changed it to fit us, and what we do. I know TPE really has meant “Total Power Exchange” but I need your readers to take an eraser to that line for a minute. Our version of TPE I believe is the reality which many people really can edge their D/s into. Mynx cannot disclose this part of her life because of her job, nor can I. Also true is the fact that I cannot micro-manage her day-to-day activities, nor hold her to a time clock regimen. Neither she nor I desire that, it doesn’t fit who were are today. Perhaps in the future? Maybe. 
 
 
 
(5) Being with your partner I am going to assume you were both married for sometime, before taking that first step. Who’s idea was it to take that first step ? 
 
Conceptually, it was all Mynx. As I said, she had been reading, and if you know her, you’d agree that reading isn’t something she usually does, but now she was inseparable from her iPad. I came in the door from work and she said, “Hi, I hope your day was good, but whatever it was, it’s about to get better, look at this…” and she produced an excerpt from one of the books about a couple engaged in kinky fuckery. Admittedly, it was a hot scene. Mynx looked at me and said, “We already do most of that, we just didn’t know it had a name besides kinky sex.” 
 
My research took me in many directions- I was a like the kid in a candy store with a hundred dollar bill. There was so much to learn about and understand. Protocols and rules fascinated me. The very dichotomy of Dominance and submission explained all that I had been feeling since I can remember seeing the very first Penthouse centerfold in Dad’s night stand at around 12 or 13. 
 
But it was Mynx’s reading discovery helped me by defining who and what I am, and who and what she is. I probably would have survived without knowing, but I am sooo appreciative to Mynx for helping introduce us both and understand the dynamics of the D/s lifestyle and the role which BDSM plays in our desires. 
 
 
(6) Do you consider yourself to be a Strictly Bedroom Dom, or has it moved to a 24/7 relationship?
 
Bedroom Dom, no. Well, our relationship in D/s began that way, in the bedroom. And truthfully, D/s at first validated or justified both mine and Mynx’s desire for kink. If I look at all of what led up to our conversations about D/s, I would say that we’ve really always had it both in and out of the bedroom, we just never really formalized it until D/s. I think you’ll get me on this point Vile- you just know when you have the one you’re most compatible with. It’s not perfect, nothing on this planet is. But our D/s is perfect for us. I believe challenges arise with some couples moving into Bedroom D/s and then transforming into 24/7 because they compare themselves to others and begin to think of the imperfections they encounter as the standard instead of being honest and true to who they are. 
 
If today I am, by my standards a Dom or sub or doctor or janitor, but tomorrow I choose to be better than I was today, then I have made a positive change. It’s the same with D/s. By making a conscious effort to learn more about this style of life, it becomes better, and then fantastic. That’s me living up to my own standards then exceeding them, and not comparing myself to someone else. But when I see someone else doing “X” and I compare myself to them, I am setting myself up for failure every time, and it’s very difficult to recover from this false comparison. When it comes to Mynx and I, we look at what others do, how they do it, test it and see if it fits into our version of D/s. 
 
Officially transferring out of the bedroom wasn’t too difficult for us. We embraced a couple of key concepts; we can’t always be D/s when vanilla-ville people are about, and, we can’t be too flamboyant in front of our children. The kids also have structure and respect, and when the respect is broken, we talk about it, mistakes are forgiven, defiance brings consequences. D/s isn’t very different, is it? D/s is chock full of truth, trust, honesty and integrity too. How can you have D/s without it?
 
Mynx and I operate similarly, especially when it comes to D/s safety. If you practice Shibari, have your scissors handy. Anything can and has gone wrong for even the best Shibari Masters. Those scissors could save a life, and no, you shouldn’t run with scissors, LOL. Did I need to say that last part? After a scene, after the aftercare, Mynx and I discuss it, what she liked, what I liked, what we want more of, what she’ll tolerate, what I’ll push her to expand her horizons on. She needs it as much as I do. The same is true outside of the bedroom. She makes a lot of decisions without me, but when she happens into uncharted waters, she asks herself, “What would Sir have me do?” She thinks it through and 99.9% of the time, the outcome meets her expectations and mine. She’s my treasure.
 
We couldn’t have gotten here without me testing her though Vile, the details are there in the post (http://mysirsmynx.com/2013/10/20/test-of-my-submission/). She and I talked about formalizing  our D/s outside of the bedroom for a while but I wasn’t convinced. Suffice to say, I thought she was part of the fad crowd of BDSMer’s and she wasn’t serious. When we first started talking about 24/7 outside of the bedroom, I was reluctant and said no at first, but then we talked it through. I left it alone for a few weeks while we spent some long weekends together, then surprised her with the test detailed in my post. I’ll say this- she passed with flying colors. Is she perfect? Nope and neither am I. And we both know that to make D/s work we need to be honest with ourselves and not compare our D/s with anyone else’s because each relationship is different.
 
 
(7) Do you have any rules or protocols in place. if so was it your idea to implement the rules?
 
Protocols. Each night before we crawl under the covers, Mynx will retrieve her “Master’s Design” cuffs I rewarded her with, cross the bed in her very seductive way, kneel before me, and ask, “Sir? May I please wear your cuffs?” and then says, “Sir? May I please enter your bed?” Both of these are more about her regrounding her submission more than stroking an ego. These protocols help keep her in a submissive mindset. I enjoy it because of the smile which comes over her as she approaches. It pleases me, and therefore I know pleases her. 
 
Before a scene, her task is to prepare the room to my request. She’ll then clean herself inside and out, shaving in all of the right places, then kneel on her pillow, stretched out, eyes down, palms up. I’ll ask her to wear my cuffs and collar, praise her for the excellent submissive she is, then bestow my pleasures upon her. All of this always begins with asking her for her safe words as a reminder of my love for her through her safety. Don’t get me wrong, she’s taken some serious heat from my hands, flogger, paddle, bamboo cane, etc… but when she’s had enough and cannot be pushed another second, I’ll know the signs and slow things down before she calls it. Those in wanna-be, one-night D/s relationships can never know their sub-miss well enough to stop before inflicting harm. In the past year, Mynx has safe worded twice and both times it was more from pure exhaustion than lack of tolerance. 
 
Rules. We have very few rules. I like to know where she is and what her plans are. She doesn’t have to, but she wants to make me aware. What do I want for dinner? She asks because she loves to serve and please. Respect. I open car doors and front doors, I pull out her chair and typically order for her. A running joke when we’re out to eat is when she says, “May I straw you, Sir?” So the story goes, we looked at each other one day and said, huh, we don’t have many rules or protocols, let’s google that… One D/s couple made a big deal out her “strawing him” and that it was a major infraction if she didn’t. Seriously? Okay, I won’t judge, but seriously, THERE ARE more important things in life. 
 
We do have rules by structure and schedules, pretty much like anyone does, vanilla or otherwise. Things happen with schedules and they can change. Altering plans may need to happen from time to time. We talk about them as a means of respect for each other. But the rules, such as what her bedtime is, can be changed by permission only. If she’s not followed the rule, we discuss it. I will not punish her for a mistake. A mistake on her part means that I have somehow led her into it by missing the mark on explaining or helping her understand my expectations. 
 
Conversely, defiance or deliberately breaking a rule is disrespectful to me and prompts a conversation about respect which then becomes hyper-focused on the rule. I do not mix BDSM and punishment. The two are mutually exclusive. BDSM is for pleasure. Punishment is not. So, for example, if Mynx misses the mark on bedtime, then she might loose the privilege of wearing her cuffs to bed. If she jumps out of the car on her own, she’ll loose the privilege of me opening her door for her the rest of the day. Those are more memorable and a better reprimand than I can ever dole out through a paddle.  
 
Dominant’s or Master’s who take the time to know and understand their sub’s and slave’s will reap tremendous rewards which cannot be found in one-nighters. You speak of it often Vile, and I hope that the submissive’s and slave’s craving the dominance don’t sell themselves short by giving up of themselves too early to their Dom or Master. The true reward in D/s M/s is waiting until you know each other sufficiently, including exploration of each other’s bodies well before pain is inflicted. Everything else usually ends in drama and tears because the sub-miss feels taken advantage of or betrayed.
 
(8) Last what advice would you give to couples who are thinking about taking that step into a D’s lifestyle…
 
I would say that D/s or M/s relationships are ones of trust and relaxation in the sense that each is comfortable in their roles. But you cannot begin to be comfortable until you’ve sat down and learned from each other what you want. This conversation must be entered into without judgement; your partner needs to bare their soul to you and you to them so that each has as thorough an understanding of the other as possible. Can anyone go buy a flogger and beat the shit out of somebody else and call it BDSM or D/s? Sure. But it won’t last long unless the two come to know and trust each other on unprecedented levels. After a few months they may in fact look at each other ask what the hell they’re doing, and so it will pass, they’re done. Those truly vested in this lifestyle won’t let or allow that to happen.
 
If you’re gonna embark on this journey, know something about it. Research, know about the anatomy of your partner by taking time to explore them without toys or kink. Learn them, know and appreciate the little things which please them, not just what makes them cum. The orgasms will follow when your partner knows how much you’re into them. 
 
Think about your partner as an extension of you- whether in the bedroom, the kitchen or in public; their behavior is a direct reflection upon you. Notice I purposefully didn’t use Dom or slave or Master or sub? It’s because you reflect who you’ve trusted and how you honor them by making them the center of your universe, in any role. Learn and research what you don’t know; For example, just don’t start flogging for the sake of the motion- you could seriously hurt someone without a thorough understanding of where those blows shouldn’t land. Mostly, live and love passionately, like you seriously mean it. You’ll find your very existence depends on it! Thanks for the opportunity to share and keep vigilant in raising awareness Vile.
 
-Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir) 
 
 
As always think you. You may add anything you feel you need to.. Hope to hear from you soon…
 
dominterview
 
Vile

 

 

Interview With A Daddy And Baby Girl

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, Acceptance, Baby Girl, bdsm, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, masochist, Rough Sex, SADOMASOCHISM, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , on August 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is just awesome a Daddy and Baby Girl who has been married for 17 years…

So I put a series of questions together and they both answered them. These interviews gives up a different perspective about someones life. It gives us a deeper look, into someones home…..

 

1. You stated that you now have a Daddy, do the two of you live together ?

***** Yes. I am fortunate that I am married to my Daddy. We have been married 17 years. We have 3 kids. All teenagers.

2. How long have both of you been in the lifestyle?

***** we have been in the lifestyle over a year. However when I happened to stumble across a few things on twitter I realized that my submissive nature and the way I had been living my whole marriage had a name and I wasn’t the only woman who lived this way. Taking care of her husband and such.

3. This is for you Daddy. Have you always been a Daddy Dominant, or was there a time when things were different , meaning did you ever take on a different role? I myself was in an M’s relationship and we moved into a Daddy Baby girl role.

No, I have not always been a Daddy Dom.  I have been a “normal” dom as well as a Master.  I have explored all aspects in finding what I am and what I need to be.

4. This is to your Daddy. I know a lot of Daddy’s who really do not have rules they have their Baby Girl follow. Are there any rules or protocols you enforce on a daily basis ?

Yes, my Baby Girl has both rules and protocols that she must follow on a daily basis.  For example, she must check in with me when she leaves and arrives someplace, keep a daily food log to make sure she is eating healthy, make my coffee, etc.  These help give her daily structure and make her feel safe.

5. Are the two of you active in the local community if not do you have any plans in the future ?

*** we live in a small town and we were not sure what was in the area. We started out in the swingers community over 2 years ago. However we have found a couple of events in the area that we hope to go to next month.

6.  You stated that in the past you had an online Dom. Did you learn anything from that relationship ?

***** Yes, I learned several things from that relationship.

 1. An online relationship does not fulfill everything I need as a submissive.

 2. From this relationship I found my true submissive side as a baby girl. Just being a submissive wasn’t enough. So I found myself doing things for Daddy to fill the holes that I had. Since I wasn’t unable to do them in person for my on line Dom.

3. I learned that what I thought I was looking for I already had living with me. I had feared that daddy would not be able to handle this new baby girl side. We had tried a straight Ds relationship with a contract, that I signed under duress, and it just ended ugly. It did significant damage to our marriage. It has taken us son time to repair and in that process I was allowed to have an on line Dom. However Daddy was in the know about everything that happened with that relationship. I eventually out grew him which on line isn’t hard to do and Daddy was patiently waiting for me.

7 To Daddy, Are you Collared and if so what was the time period for the collaring ? I do know that all Daddy Doms do not believe in a collar.

My Baby Girl is not yet formally collared.  She is currently wearing a training collar until the time that I present her formal collar.  There is no time frame in my head for collaring.  Yes, some Daddy Doms do not believe in collars but I believe a collar is a wonderful symbol of her submission to me.  It also makes her feel safe and gives her a reminder of me all day.  She feels that I’m there and that she is protected.

8. As a Daddy and Baby girl, are you just into the Discipline part of the lifestyle or is there kink involved as well…

**** While while I thrive and feel a very strong need for the discipline. I am a masochistic. I love pain. I find a clam in a good therapy spanking. Canning can and has taken me into the beautiful depths of sub-space. I love to be tied up. A good rough fuck is always great. I am a fan of wax play and the Wartenberg wheel. I enjoy a good scene. Really as long as Daddy is using me for his pleasure I am happy.

This is just awesome Thank you both for taking part, and sharing something so deep. More so showing a Daddy and Baby Girl relationship can work…

Vile