Archive for the Bond Category

You Both Should Adapt

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, anger, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Bond, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, Fantasy, Humiliation, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Rules, sex slave, slave, Submission, submissive on March 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Let the negotiations begin. Every relationship be it Vanilla , D’s ms’ Baby girl has negotiations. This is the time you spend getting to know each other, feeling each other out , likes and dislikes. favorite foods , movies , music , hobbies is any , work habits good and bad.

In a D’s or M’s it is just slightly different because the relationship is more in depth, there is much more involved in the relationship. Now we have safe words , now we limits. Now we have rules , protocols , some Dominants are strict while others are not.

How are you going to be used in a D’s or M’s relationship, maybe in service , maybe just for sex , there are several different factors you need to look at.

I have stressed many times before it is very important to become friends first before you speak about anything that pertains to BDSM. Are you into bondage, humiliation , pain is a biggy? Are you into following strict rules ? Maybe you don’t swallow , or do anal , all of these are Negotiations , and these are things that have to be worked out prior to entering a relationship.

If there is enough in common or the Dominant feels there is enough in common he may wish to move forward even if the submissive or slave has certain limits they are against. In time limits can be renegotiated , but more so a good Dominant does not change he can simply adapt to somethings in a new relationship.

I believe a huge misunderstanding is about the 24/7 relationships , new relationships. It is the submissive or slave who has to adapt to the new ways. It is the submissive or slave who has to adapt to their new surroundings.

The negotiations should continue until both have agreed to enter a D’s Or M’s relationship….

Limits should be pushed but respected, Limits are part of the Negotiations and the submissive or slave should stand by theirs. If you are totally against something or something makes you feel uncomfortable then speak your mind. One thing you should never agree to something in fear of the relationship not working out. The good thing is I can assure you once in a stable relationship some of your limits will pass. You will want to explore that sense of freedom.

You will never change a Dominant , in some cases he may change his way of thinking , when it comes to training, and putting rules in place but a total make over will never happen. At times he may adapt to certain situations if he feels the relationship is moving forward in a positive direction as well.

Many times in any relationship we tend to take other for granted , we tend to forget the small things and we begin to just expect everything, the small things are no longer appreciated. This is when the communication break down begins and the relationship starts to fall apart and if not caught in time it will fail and both are to blame.

Stress brought on by those who think they are submissive , but in reality it is just a fantasy , those putting up resistance during training , not following rules because they think it is a joke or not taking the relationship serious. You may like the Dominant but not the lifestyle and you expect him to change , and that is not going to happen. The relationship fails and all the blame goes on him, while all along it was you who caused the break down.

Bruce Lee once said. If you want to learn to swim jump in the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you..

A Slave Is A Pet

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Adapt, An Owned Slave, Arianna, bdsm, Bond, cage, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, Depression, Dominants, Human Pet, Kink, kinky, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Mind Fuck, owning a slave, Pet, Rules, slave, submissive on January 25, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This will be my seven hundred and one post today. Wow a year and a half has really flown by. I am going to guess out of 701, I probably have 25 that were re-blogs from others who caught my eye.

What started out as something for me to do, maybe a hobby, something to spend some time on, turned into a message I wanted to send out to as many people as I could reach.

Hoping to share the hidden dangers out in a world that can be very deep and dark. A world you can get hurt in, be it mental or physical. A world were if your not in the right hands you can suffer from abuse. There are those out there who get off on a life long mind fuck. There are those who are just looking for a piece of ass and they see submission as a weakness.  When in fact they could have the greatest gift they have ever had.

Many who are in the beginning stages while searching out their submission will often mistake abuse from caring. If your new and you do not have a clue you really don’t know what to expect.

90% of my blog is about safety , some of you have listened , while some have not. It would make more since if you listen to a Dom who has walked in the very shoes I speak about.

I share with you what is said in the male huddles, I share what others have told me, and I share what I have done in the past. If you think about it I have no reason to lie to you. Someone lies if they have something to gain. I gain nothing from sharing with you. Nothing at all. What I could gain out of my sharing is you listen to some of what I have to say, and use parts, and you would see that it could save you a lot of trouble and heartache.

Thank you all for reading what I have to blab about, if nothing else you get a good laugh. or you may not wake up alone black and blue.

Today I hooked up the DVD player I had promised to do it sometime ago, but I am on Viles time. We rearranged the bedroom as well so we could put a TV in the bedroom which I am accustomed to. I also had another job interview, that had to be the longest in my life but I truly enjoyed it. I am taking a new job Monday , but it never hurts to cover all bases, or maybe a better opportunity come up.

Anyway once the DVD player was hooked up Arianna wanted to make sure it was working so she put in the movie THE PET which is a truly interesting film about the love an owner has for his pet. The slave was willing to go through changes in her life and showed total devotion, towards her owner. The love between the two was just unreal. The part that got to me was when the owner was playing fetch with the Slave, and Arianna laughed , I said what the fuck are you laughing at I will take you outside and make you play fetch, yea it got quite.

The movie was suppose to be BDSM based but it was really about the world of slave trade which is alive and running even today. There are some 28 million people who are sold as slaves every year.

When we think of a slave, we think of someone who is very humble, and docile. Someone who seeks someone they can turn total control over to someone else. This is a great deal of responsibility for the Master, and it can be an easy task or it can be one that drags out for months depending on which form of training one chooses to put into place.

The training can only begin once the Master has gotten to know his slave inside and out. This goes the same for the Dominant and submissive. To train the Dominant or Master, or maybe owner has to really know you. Your habits, your thoughts, any types of medication your on. The medications if your on any could have an effect on any hard limits you may have. I am speaking as far as any type of depression you might have going on, anxiety you might have going on. So any training process must be giving great thought. Most of us do not have a PHD , but most of us do have common sense.

We take care of ours, we cherish, we guide, and for the most we take a huge weight off of their shoulders. We promise to make everything alright.

There is a saying I like to say. Come and let me hold you so I can take all of your pain away. When you hold someone tight enough you can truly feel. You can feel the good and bad, but you can feel the lost as well. Just like the KISS the KISS tells everything, you can tell if it is real, you can feel feelings. Hugging someone that tells as well. You can feel from the hug, you can tell if its real or if it is fake.

The Slave is a pet. A pet who will happily lay at your feet, and will do so without question. The slave will follow without question, trusting you. The slave will walk hand in hand without question.

Very few truly understand how deep an M’s relationship is. Most who are submissive do not understand how someone could willingly give so much. Many who are submissive do not understand how someone could live as a slave and be happy.  The slave does not understand how one can just be submissive, and only submit at their choice of time. Although there are those who wish to take their submission to deeper levels.

I also believe there are those who are a slave but are afraid to cross that line, so the word submissive comes out. The thought of giving yourself over to someone, and them having full control over you. It is pretty scary. If you connect with the right Dominant, Master and Owner you would then see it is not that hard.

The first time I saw the movie THE PET it really got me to thinking. What would life be like if I were to own a human pet. The pet much like a slave wants for nothing. The pet like the slave has nothing to worry about, everything is done for them. The Slave like the movie THE PET is obedient very docile, non confronting. The Slave like the movie THE PET does not wish to argue or question their owner. At times they have questions in their mind, they may worry about something that comes up, but it soon passes once they see everything is handled.

You have to let your Slave speak their mind if something comes up. Something happened not long ago that upset Arianna, and we talked about it. I did allow her to voice her opinion, to kinda get it off her chest, but if we did not allow this, that is where a communication breakdown could happen.

We are each our own, we all live how we want to live. We have different ways, different kinks, and needs.

Most Slaves are very needy, I did not say all but most. Arianna needs constant direction, that is where the consistency part comes in, at time I need to add a little then at times I take a little away that is to make an even balance.

Arianna has also added to her rules, things that she believes should be in place. Her rules are read daily. By reading them it gives her a sense of security. She knows she is loved, she knows she is cared for. In return I get anything I want, that I know will not harm her.

To own a pet it would be neat just not for me. Well at this point and time in my life.

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ImageI May play with this idea some.

Vile

Training Your Submissive Or Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Bond, chat room, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dating, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, Drama, Dress Protocol, etiquette, Face Fucking, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, molding your slave, munchs, owning a slave, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Self-Discipline, sex, slave, Submission, submissive on December 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is many Dominants do not want to put the time or effort into building a D’s or M’s relationship if they are not going to be 24/7. Although I have seen some who do not live together and it works out just fine.

This is the hard part because I was going to say the Submissive or Slave has to be honest about everything. The Newly found Dominant must know everything. There is a fine line with what you want to share, with someone you just met. What ever reason the submissive just wants to run off at the mouth and give their whole life story during the first meeting,

I had sex at a young age, I was raped, I was molested. I have been abused in past relationship. I suffer from depression and I am on these meds the list goes on and on.

In the beginning you want to start of with the basics. What type of work you do, what kind of music you like, all foods you like, any hobbies you might have. I was asked recently on what the time limits should be before the two have sex. Well there is really no time limit it is what you feel and if it feels right then go for it. If the Dominant knows nothing of the above and it starts out sexual, then that is all you will have.

Also if you have any Drama in your life you need to clean it up before entering a new relationship. The same goes with the Dominant, no Drama, and no problems with Ex’s

If you meet online and your chatting, and within the first twenty minutes your asked if you swallow or do you take it up the ass, then just hit the X button and move on. It is clear what he is looking for.

In the world of BDSM a D’s or M’s relationship you have a mixture you have the Vanilla side then you have the D’s or M’s side, but you have to have both to make it work.

Arianna was telling me about a Dominant she was seeing out of state, their whole relationship was based On M’s and nothing more. He took her out maybe three time in 6 months or so, and it always ended up in a argument. The Vanilla was missing, not to mention he never fucked her well a couple of times. She was there mainly to clean house, and be in shackles all day, while he was on his laptop looking for another Slave to add to the family.

I however do commend him on doing the searching, most Dominant place such a task on the submissive, which is very wrong. The Dominant is the one in most cases who wants another, the submissive will just go along with the idea. So he puts the task on the submissive and has her post her pictures instead of his. I wonder why this is?

It takes time to get to know each other, you cannot learn everything over one dinner date. Remember the Vanilla thing. I know your anxious and you want things to happen now, yesterday. You need to just chill, and think with a clear mind.

The Dominant however will lay out his plans on training and what he expects out of a relationship. This is your cue do you stay or do you go? Can you meet his needs? Can you comply with his standards ? This is the time you decide.

You being the submissive you can negotiate the terms of the relationship. Your not a Slave, so this is your right. You can put the what I will do and what I will not do on the table. The Dominant will either agree or he will not.

Remember not all women like or enjoy Anal sex, or being face fucked. You may not be into humiliation, or hard impact play. More important you may not want to be shared as many Dominants will do, and be proud of it. Pass you around like a piece of meat.So it is very important you are honest and upfront about what you will and will not do. If you are no Bi and do not wish to take part make it clear this is a hard limit.

You the submissive has the power to negotiate the terms of the relationship. The Slave does not how every have that right. The Slave will either feel they can be compatible or she is not able to comply with the Masters needs.

With the Slave it is yes I can or no I cannot. When a Master or Dominant is looking for a Slave he is looking for something very specific, he knows what he wants and needs. Like me I refused to bend. To me a relationship was more important than just a piece of ass. Getting pussy or my dick sucked was not hard to find, but finding someone I was compatible with was extremely hard. If I just wanted pussy you would come over spread and then you leave. Why because there was nothing there.  Before you get all bent out of shape, this was all in the open before hand so both of us new what to expect. Lynn who I saw for almost a year until she got nutty, it was just about sex and nothing more. I knew there would never be a relationship and she knew the same thing. I had it made come over Friday night and leave Sunday morning. At that time it was perfect, but I started losing interest because I needed more. I stopped enforcing rules and protocols and we slowly fell apart.

So your Newly Found Dominant will start out by giving you protocols and he must be consistent with enforcing. He will give you rules to follow. Now when you first meet, he cannot possibly give you rules to follow because he knows nothing of you. Lets say we have a five day getting to know each other period. Maybe he can give you one or two the first meeting such as Bed time, or a time to email or text, I would think that would be acceptable.

I re-posted yesterday about protocols many of them I use on a daily basis but most of them I did not. Using protocols are a mind set. a type of mind modification the way you think or act public or private. The way you speak, the way you walk. The way you greet others , who you may greet and who you may not.

If we are out and another Dominant tries to give Arianna a hug she is to extend her hand, and a Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for any time should know that hugging someone slave is just a big fucking NO.

If your relationship does not have any protocols then go back and read what I posted pick and choose or make your own, use on a daily basis. You will see in a short time your thoughts on submission will begin to change.

Rules, Rules are meant for self improvement, for the betterment of you the Submissive or slave. Arianna has 25 that I set, but she added a few more of her own to help keep her in check. Every night before bed she reads them, unless directed by me not to. What is more impressive is after a year she can share them aloud and not have to read them. That was her choice not something I demanded.

If you have friends, then you should be allowed to keep them, you should be allowed to see your family, call and text with everyone. You should not have to give out your passwords to any of your accounts. This is an ego problem and it should not be excepted. We all need some privacy and there are parts of our lives that should be left alone. If a Dominant demands your passwords, then he is probably insecure or has a major ego problem.

The training is not hard, and you can enjoy it as well. It will be hard if your heart is not in it. It can be more hard if your with someone your really not happy with. The deeper you get into your training the more submissive you will feel.

You also have to take in mind if there is any type of public training. Again what you will do and will not do, no one wants to go to jail. You also have to think of your career as well, being known, being seen. What you are comfortable wearing in public, again what is except able and what is not. You as the submissive has the right to set the pace of the relationship. You are a submissive not a slave.

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Vile

I Have Molded The Perfect Slave

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, Bond, Collar, control, Dating younger woman, Dominants, MAST, Masters And Slaves Together, Micromanagement, No Rights, Protocol, punish, relationships, Rules, serve, slave, Slave no rights, Structure, Submission, submissive, The perfect Slave on November 13, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I cannot even begin to tell you how many Slaves I met during my search. Over a year and a half and it seemed endless. Yea I met a lot of nutty ones but there were probably some if not most who thought I was nutty with the type of TPE Total Power Exchange relationship I wanted. The words out some some mouths were Fuck That, or I could never give up that much control, or your crazy.

I was just about to give up as a matter of fact I was already making plans to move out of the country. I had a place to stay and a good job already lined up with sprint.

Then I signed into AOL one morning and I had an Email from who is now Arianna. . I thought what the fuck I will go ahead and reply it is probably nothing anyway. That day or the next nothing. The third day another email. Telling me she was not sure what she wanted, and she thought my age would play a factor. That was because she had been seeing an older Dom who lived out of state, and was well less mobile.

Her first email included a few pics, when I clicked open, my Jaw dropped to the floor, I said Lord have mercy fuck me with a chain jaw this is perhaps the finest female I have ever run across. I still had not sent a pic. I was trying to do self pics, I had the guy down the street takes some pics. I was thinking man this will never happen.

I knew then that what I wrote back had to be perfect, it really depended on what my reply was. I knew just one word out of place and it would be over. I knew I had to come across just right, not to cocky, and no ego. It took me a couple of hours sitting in front of the computer, drinking coffee and thinking word for word, ahh fuck I almost forgot the fucking pics, clicked on add file then pics when done. Then I set there for a minute and  I hit the send button. Now I just had to wait it out. That was around 11am I did not know she worked until 2.15 so the wait seemed like days.

The third email I just looked at it for a few minutes, I got up poured another cup of coffee. I sat back down and clicked open and I started reading. Now she wanted to meet me. I went Whew , now comes the test. I Vile not only had to walk the walk but I had to talk the talk, Hmm did that come out right ? You get my point.

When I saw her pull up and she got out of the car, blood rushed down to my dick so fast I got dizzy, I was just fucking numb, I almost got tongue tied, but I took in a deep breath , stood tall and introduced myself.  We had coffee and we just set and talked maybe a couple of hours, then she had to leave.

I walked her to her car and we said goodbye , she told me she would contact me soon. As she drove off, I was thinking man just fuck me running already. An hour had gone by and nothing then two hours and nothing. So i sent her a text thanking her for her time I had hoped it would have worked out, the next text was I want to come back over tomorrow. I knew at that point and time, it was game on, Vile had to go to work.

Now that I had told her everything I needed and she agreed without hesitation she then began to explain what she needed. She was looking for a Micromanagement type relationship. She was also looking for a No Rights relationship. That threw me a curve ball I was not expecting those words, so I had to think and think fast. Was that something I could manage. Was that the type of relationship I wanted. My brain was playing tennis back and forth , back and forth. Then I agreed yes I can do that, and it has worked, and worked out for the best.

Well just a few days short a year now, Living as Master and Slave, Husband and Wife, and she is collard. I can say Life Is Good.

I was at a loss of words when we were talking and I was telling her about me and what I expected, and her words were Okay. Okay I was pretty much speechless , I had to gather my thoughts , and I had to put a plan together.

I thought I would be met with much resistance but that was not the case, everything just fell into place. I had never met a Slave who was so docile, a slave who was so compliant , a slave who truly had the desire to please.

I encourage all new slaves to be active in the local community . I think this is very important in a new beginning, taking baby steps. I also believe if a new slaves meets a new Dominant she should insist on attending Munchs and local groups. This truly helps in the growth.  I would not think a Dominant would ever refuse to take a slave to a local function.  If the Dom refused I would question why. It is very important for slaves to interact with other slaves, again the allows growth.

I told Arianna the first 90 days would be the tell, tell I said the first 90 days could be the breaking point, but everything just really fell into place. I had never experienced anything like it before.

The first thing I wanted to do was introduce Arianna to people in the local community, to make friends but also to help validate me as a Dominant. A Dominant should not be afraid to introduce a slave to others.

When I get off work the first thing I see when I walk through the door is this.

Image Right there by the door. This is not something Arianna was instructed to do she has a need to do.

I suppose those who are true, I mean true in heart there will be no resistance. If the Dominant is in the right frame of mind there will be no resistance. If both are on the same page there will be no resistance.  Resistance can be a passing thought, everything will just fall into place.

When we are out attending local functions I hold my head up high. I walk proud, I am a proud Dominant, owner and husband. When I start to explain how our relationship works people just sit with their mouths open in disbelief. About a month ago while at a MAST meeting MASTERS AND SLAVES TOGETHER, I walked outside to grab a quick smoke , and a Mistress walked up to me and said that is some kind of a relationship you just explained, and I just nodded. Then last weekend at another MAST when Arianna made the comment that she felt indebted there was silence, and the Dom running the group said he had never heard that before.

I have said this many , many times if you the Dominant are true to your word, you stick to the truth, you are consistent. You are not just waiting for a rule to be broking, or a reason to punish. Everything will just fall into place, you will have the relationship that most only dream of having.

Submissive can be good, being a Dominant can be good, you put both together and nothing will break the bond.

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Vile

Being A Slave Is Hard Or Is It ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bond, Breaking Rules, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, dress, emotional, ethics, Fear, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, inhibitions, Lie, Lies, Master, men begging, Molding, molding your slave, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, oral, oral sex, Patience, Private Protocol, problems, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE on September 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who wake with an unknown feeling, a feeling of not being complete, they are not sure where these feelings arrived from or where their thoughts came from. They begin to do a lot of research in hopes of finding answers. Then they stumble across a BDSM site or erotic stories, and things become more clearer.

Then the search Dominant after Dominant until they find the right fit , the right connection, or after being played a couple of times.

I would imagine that giving up 100% of freedom could be a scary thought. Being told what to do, how to act, how to dress, how to speak, what to eat or cook, when to bath, when to go to bed, and then being punished for breaking a rule.

To go from your boyfriend begging for sex or begging to get his dick sucked, to someone just telling you to spread, or get on your knees. Maybe anal sex was off limits now there is no choice, you do it because your now owned.

These are big changes, these are huge changes.  These are changes you never would of even thought off until a year ago, or maybe they have been thoughts for a long time but you had no idea on how to put things into place.

It is not that the changes are difficult, scary yes difficult no. It is how you are brought through these changes, what actions are taking to get you to the point of where you need to be. I can tell you it is probably harder if not almost impossible if you know you are not truly cared for. Eh it works for a short period of time, but when reality hits you and you discover this dude is a piece of shit, you pack up move on and begin your search again, and maybe again, and again until you get it right.

Two key words come to mind, resistance and consistency. Almost every Slave will put some or a lot of resistance when it comes to submitting. It is not that they do not want to, they are scared and they have every right to be.

Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

I have seen this time and time again, when it happens it is always the Bitches fault, yea she was a bad submissive, or a bad slave she would not listen or follow rules. Just listen to that last statement. Who’s fault is that now? The blame always goes on the Bitch. No it could never be me I am the almighty Master. It was not long ago I told a Dom he was a piece of shit and he should rethink his place within the lifestyle. We had a couple over for dinner not long ago when they left I told Arianna what the out come of their relationship would be, sure enough they are no longer together.

Be it a Submissive or Slave, we have to be able to get into their heads, we have to know what makes them think, their thought process, and I can tell you if your not true or you do not care it will not happen. Just look at the time you have wasted just because you wanted some pussy.

Resistance equals consistent one giving equals one caring, you cannot just take or demand. You as the Dominant has to earn every step you take. Respect you have to earn it is not something we can demand.

Most who are submissive or a slave are on some type of medication, why is this? I do not have a fucking clue, most who are a Submissive or Slave suffers some type of depression maybe Bi-Polar? Why is this again I do not have a fucking clue.  So we as Dominants cannot just step in balls to the wall, we have to put a plan together because we do not want to bring any harm to ours. Yea okay I look over some things nothing major but I do not just sit around hoping Arianna will break a rule, as a matter of fact she will do everything in her power not to break a rule. I set that Ass on fire one time and that is all it took.

We can never figure out why someone is depressed if you try your just wasting time. So instead we work with them, we try to somewhat understand but we will never fully. Go to doctors appointments with them study their medication. Most of all we do not want to push them over the cliff. I had a counselor tell me not long ago that she agreed with our lifestyle, and the way our home was ran was beneficial  to Arianna, and almost a year it has worked well, we have had a few ups and downs but more ups I can assure you.

Starting a new relationship the Submissive / Slave has a wall in place. What we have to do is take it down one brick at a time, while this is on going we are still hitting this resistance button , the reason that button is still there is the lack of trust. While most would like trust is not built over night. So again the same words, Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

If you cannot control your Submissive or Slave Don’t put the blame on them, it was not them who failed it was us who failed them. We gave them false statements, we led them to believe something that was not true.

If you fail at communication, it is pretty much over. Most of the time a Slave will not volunteer and information, so we have to be willing to spend the time to communicate, if you really care this comes natural. Set aside 15 minutes a day so you can just sit and talk. Hold conversation over dinner, while driving. Communication is the main key, if your going to wait for them to spill their guts guess what? It will never happen.

There has to be an astronomical amount of fear when a Slave enters a relationship, they have no idea what to expect, more so if it is their first relationship. That is why you need a plan , and you need a back up plan, and another back up plan.

I was lucky when I met Arianna the resistance level was almost zero, even so I knew I had to stay consistent. The first ninety days is the tell , tell of everything. It will tell the slave if they are truly a slave and it will tell the slave if the Dominant is real.

Asking to sit at the Dinner table, not taking a bite of food before I do. Kneeling at the door when I return from work. anticipating my needs, kneeling in the bathroom while I shower, it goes on and on, but again the key word is consistency.

Rules some just fucking kill me, Rule one you must worship my cock. Rule 2 you must masturbate every night before bed while we are talking on the phone. Rule 3 you must send me nude pics everyday. Rule 4 you will never wear panties in my presence. You have seen and heard these rules. Rules are meant to be beneficial to a slave. We take old habits and make new positive ones. Yea some do call it training I have before, I like the word molding. We are molding someone to fit our needs, or training. We are taking someones life and turning it inside out. We are taking someone who once had a resistance factor and taking the word NO or i cant out of their vocabulary. Again this all comes with being consistent and in control.

The bottom line is, if we remain who we say we are, if we prove who we say we are, if we put ours first no matter what, if we take care of ours, if we do not abuse with a bunch of worthless rules, if we remain true and yes consistent then there is only resistance for a short time.

The Slave already knows who and what they are, they already know who they want to be, we just have to take one brick down at a time, brush our hands off and take their hand and walk with them.

We as a Master are expected to live by certain standards we have a creed we must follow, we must always be truthful when speaking. We must earn what we get.

The rewards for both are just amazing, it can be the most loving relationship you have ever known. The Master will want for nothing at all. The out come is what you make of it.

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Vile

Is There Really A Difference In Daddy Doms

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bond, Cherish, Collars, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Dominants, events, fetlife, slave, submissive, swinger club, Under Consideration on August 5, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Over the past 10 years or so Daddy Doms have become very popular. going back to the mid 80’s you were either a Top, a Bottom , a Master or Slave. The word submissive rarely came to surface.

Most if not all clubs were invitation only, and you had to know someone to even be considered. In the early 90’s there was a swingers club here local called charlie woods. A very nice couple ran the place, but if you wanted to attend you had to exchange a couple of emails, then a phone call, then finely meet in person for an interview. This was to keep all the wackos out.  Although it was not a private club they did have a set of standards.

Myself at that time had a name out in the community, I was really feared by most, although that is not what I was trying to accomplish it just happened. Then there were not that many what you would call hardcore Sadist, nor were there very many hardcore Masochist far and few between. Since I had only really been with one slave who was a Masochist that is pretty much all I knew.

Since then I have calmed down a lot, what use to get me off as far as pain really does not interest me any longer. I take a softer stance, and a much different out look on D’s and M’s.

So over the years the lifestyle branched out and different names began to pop up, Dominant, Master, Poly, Hetroflexible which means anything is game on. Then came the switch which to this day I do not understand, more so when it comes to the male Dominant.

If you look at some of the fetlife profiles some of the sexual orientation is just unreal, and the list of names they are either associated with protecting, or even under consideration. I have seen as many as 20 names. Master Bob is protecting Slave Karman who lives three thousand miles away. Or Master Gary is considering Slave Kathy who lives in another country, even better being collard by someone you have never even met.

Then along comes the Daddy Dom, I have filled and enjoyed this role, many do not understand the concept or the mindset of the relationship. Even today when I talk to some they still consider it to be gross, acting out incest. Conversation over.

So we have the Daddy Dominant, then we have the Dominant. We both want the same for ours. We both want improvement, we both set goals, we both want to see ours excel in everything. We are both there for support, we both care, we both communicate. So the question is. Is there really any difference?

We both step in to fill a void, we both step in to take control, we both earn respect, and we both give respect. We both praise when one has done well, and we both punish when a rule is broken.

You call one Daddy the other calls one Master. In the lifestyle much of the past is forgotten, but things change everyday, we grow, and our needs are different. Even in a relationship our needs change our kinks change, so it if very important to be with someone you can openly communicate with.

I do know today Daddy Doms are not as strict, most are forgiven very easy, maybe scolded but rarely punished, so most baby girls are submissive, very few are slaves.

While at a munch sometime ago I met a Daddy Dom and we were outside talking, he had just met his Little girl, and we were talking about the difference. Then the arguing thing came up, he said they did argue at times, which I do not understand, but to each their own, if it works then so be it.

We all want ours to excel, be better. So why is it that we are so different when the only difference is a Title that most self impose on themselves instead of it being given. I am Master Johnny and you will respect me. Um yea okay.

A couple of years ago, and what a small world a guy called me out of the blue, he had gotten my phone number from a slave I use to live with, at that time I did fill the Daddy Dom role, not so much because I liked it or needed it, it was what she needed. Anyway I jump in my car drive some 60 miles, I walk up to the door and I hear yelling and screming, I am thinking WOW really WTF. So I knock and this guy answers the door he is a lot taller than I am which is not hard to be, he invites me in and the living room and kitchen is a mess broken glass all over the place. The Slave just looks at me very surprised to see that I am even there. I am not sure at this point why I was even called, besides my name being brought up in his face several times a day. They start yelling again and I am just amazed

So I tell her to shut her cock sucker up and sit down, and when she did sit down this guy just looked at me and the room got very quite. I said what the fuck is going on? How did you get my number? Why did you even call me?  They fought everyday, which to this day I do not understand because while with me that was not her demeanor, nor was it her personality, but I suppose if you push the right buttons anything is possible.

He could not believe the control I still had even after not seeing her for over a year. The bottom line was it was all about respect, the respect I had earned, and not demanded. I truly thought after seeing her I would have feelings, but nah the past is the past. If you live in the past you are stuck, and your past will not allow you to move forward.

At one time he had even asked me to mentor him which lasted all of two or three days, it is all good, I had enough on my plate. I really did not need anymore task, and to this day he is still single.

It does not matter what role you play in your relationship it boils down to respect. Respect is earned you cannot demand it. Okay sure you can demand and the giving can be fake but if that cranks your tractor then go for it.

I can really see no difference in the two types of Doms, in the end we both want the same things.

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Vile

What I want , What I get

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, Bond, Collar, control, controlling, Dating, Dominants, Email, Ex Dominant, inhibitions, kinky, Loyal, Master, Masters, Meeting, Micromanagement, My Bitch, oral, oral sex, Protocol, sex, slave, slut, submissive, whore on July 16, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I consider myself one of the luckiest men, husbands , Dominant, and Master in the world.

Time has really flown by what seems like eight months to me seems like eight days. I remember the first time I met Arianna for the first time in my life I was speechless, then when she exited the car, I was thinking Fuck Me. She was and is still very hot, a body built for sin.

So I took a deep breath whew, and walked up and introduced myself thinking I do not have a chance in this life time, but my head held high I spoke with confidence, taking in every word she said. My eyes wondered up and down just taking in her firm body, her beautiful eyes and smile. I was thinking there is noway she can be as nervous as I am.

Getting her to meet me was a challenge as well, she had just ended a relationship with an older Dominant. They never went anyplace, he never took her out and was an old 55 as she puts it.

Then I received her second email, and she began to explain her feelings about older men and she was just not sure if I would be able to keep up, not sexually but in general. Finely she agreed to meet me. The first meeting was a couple of hours talking and getting to know each other. She said she had to leave and she would text later.

Okay it is done no way no how it was good while it lasted. I just and watched her car vanish. I swear all I was thinking about was watching her get out of the car, blood rushed down to my dick so fast I got dizzy. Fucking WOW.

An hour passed and nothing, two hours and nothing, okay I will text her. So I hope you made it home safe, it was good to meet you, and I fully understand if I am not your type. I waited what seemed like a life time, then a text. Can I come over tomorrow? I almost dropped my fucking phone.

It was about a week and Arianna was staying at night getting up and going to work. I felt good, I felt alive again, it had been two years since my last break up. I had dated in between, but really met some wacko’s , I was beginning to think well just fuck it your doing good alone now, no worries.

I had been in a state of depression for sometime, I suppose due to my last relationship. I had lost that drive, I had lost that caring part, you know fuck it.

Arianna sparked something deep inside, I felt like a plant that had not been watered for a very long time, then I was sit outside in the rain, what an awesome feeling. I could now breath.

Everyone comes with some baggage, everyone has some problems , so we have to decide if this is a trail we want to take. Do we want to explore this avenue? Do we want this type of responsibility? I did do a lot of inner searching and my conclusion was yes this is something I can do. Although I had said before I wanted no part of a micromanaged relationship. What changed my mind is how well we clicked, the communication. Most of all how well Arianna’s training was progressing.

Arianna emailed her Ex Dom to inform him once again it was over and she would not be back. The return email was not so friendly, You fucking whore, you fucking cunt, what a slut you are, you are worthless. I own you until this date then you are released.

I was thinking WOW really this is coming from a 55 year old Dom you had 30 years of experience.

So I emailed the Kind Sir, his first email was pretty nasty, but my reply was calm, and after a few he had calmed as well. I stated that BDSM must be different where he lives because where I am from Dominants do not act in the manner he was acting. I also stated that I thought in order for someone to be released one had to be collard and it was my understanding Arianna had never been.

Can I come back over tomorrow, yea I almost dropped my phone, I waited about five minutes before I replied. Um yea sure you can we will see where things go, and how we get along. We spent the next couple of hours texting, I remember I could not sleep at all that night, I just tossed and turned my mind was racing 200 miles an hr.

What I wanted was the whole picture, like before I was not going to bend or give in and settle for less like I had in the past. Pussy was to easy to come by and I wanted more. I wanted to settle down with not one, but the one.

I wanted a partner first off, a Slave someone who had a slaves heart, someone who had the need to be a slave. I wanted a best friend. I wanted a slut, a whore all rolled into one. I wanted someone with little to no inhibitions , someone who was open to new things, an open mind. I wanted a Slave who was willing to give up full control.  I wanted someone who wanted an open line of communication, someone who would listen and I knew they were.

Bamm it happened on her second visit I knew this was the one. I could almost read her mind, I knew what she was going to say before she spoke. I knew without a doubt she was the one.

I went into great detail about what I was looking for, I left no card unturned, I explained I would not bend nor would I give in, it was Viles way or no way. She agreed she wanted to see where things would go but wanted to move slowly. I knew right then it was game on. I only had but one thing to do, and that was to prove who and what I was.

First I started introducing her to others I knew in the lifestyle, kinda like references if you will. I wanted to make Arianna feel more comfortable , knowing that she was with someone who really knew what they were doing. Then the key was to stay consistent on a daily basis.

I remember the first time I offered a collar and she declined. It really blew my mind, but I did not let it bother me, she just explained she was not ready. After a month or so she asked me if she could wear my collar. I knew then we were headed for a lifetime relationship.

What some fail to see is anyone could have a total life of bliss, a relationship that is a true sign of perfection.

Why argue? No one can give me a reason why two people would argue. Over Money? Jealousy? To controlling ? Spending to much money ? Are these valid reasons to fuck your day up or a couple of days.

Your woman should be your only concern, your woman should come first before anyone. You as a man or Dom should never raise your hand out of anger, you should never call out names out of anger. You the Dominant should be in full control at all times.

One should never push limits to the breaking point. Most Dominants will try to push or go beyond ones limits, why? just because it is there.

So what I wanted. I wanted a Slave not a Submissive, I wanted a Slave. I wanted full control. I wanted loyalty no questions asked. I wanted a one on one relationship no questions asked. I wanted a Slave who would follow my house rules, my protocols , my dress codes. I wanted someone who was smart, intelligent, I wanted a Slave who could and wanted to communicate, one that could express her feelings. I wanted a Slave I could confide in. I wanted a Slave who would voice her opinion if I was about to make a mistake, that I value more than anything. I did not want a house keeper, nor a cook. I did not want someone to do my laundry.

What do I get ? Everything a man could dream of.

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Vile

I Received An Email

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Bond, Dominants, Email, micromanage, Micromanagement, slave, submissive on July 6, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Last year I did some blogging on Thesexreports here on wordpress. Shortly after I decided I wanted my own blog, anyway since leaving I have received a few remarks but I am unable to respond which is okay, but then you get those emails that just eat at you. I have sent a private email giving out my blog, but I am guessing it is going to spam, anyway I did try.

Here is the email it is speaking about my post on Micromanagement.

Very negative article. It presumes that micro-management is a mistake. When freely chosen micromanagement can be intensely enjoyable, intimate, bonding and pleasurable. My partner and I both enjoy micromanagement with none of the so called risks and dangers listed above.

My blog was not meant to be negative, and I am glad it is working for them, just as it works for Arianna and I

Maybe it did come off as negative but that was not my intention, my intention was to show how if it was not a long term relationship it could cause great harm to the submissive or slave.

While with Bea we had a micromanaged relationship after we had split , I thought to myself never again, way to much work.

After I met Arianna and I discovered she wanted such a relationship, I had to give it a great deal of thought. While thinking I realized that I had made it hard on myself, so I needed to take a different approach this time taking small steps and implementing things slowly. Once Arianna caught on to something, I would add a little more, this went on for about 4 or 5 months. I wanted to make sure I was not putting to much on her plate.

Here is the kicker, the Dominant can slowly take full control without the submissive or slave really knowing, mainly because everything just becomes a habit. All your doing is just giving a thought, planting a seed. Let the Slave water it, and it shall grow.

Before you know it, you the Dominant has full control over ones life. Now that is something to chew on. You have the say so over every movement, with the exception of breathing.

You may think to have such a relationship is to tasking or to much trouble, but as I stated above everything becomes a habit. The asking permission becomes a habit.

It can be a very rewarding relationship, more so a very loving relationship. If the Dominant has good intentions. If the relationship is not an abusive one. I do not mind one being codependent not in the least.

Again you will find very few Dominants who would want to take on such a task. You may find one who will micromanage certain areas, or task, but to want to take full control, I think not.

Every relationship is different, what works for Arianna and I may not work for others. What works for other may not work for us.

I took my time in looking for my next relationship, because I was not going to settle for less like I had in the past. I wanted the cake and ice cream, I wanted the whole picture. If we settle for less your never happy and it will never work, only for a short time.

Our first meet there was no sex, no touching just good conversation. I wanted to truly get to know her. I remember her pulling up in her CRV, and I thought fuck me, fucking wow, fucking incredible. Then as she stepped out, what a body. I remember blood rushed down to my dick so fast I got dizzy, I was at a loss when it came to words. Today her beauty is wow incredible. When she comes to where I work and she walks through the door there is just silence.  I have been asked dude how in the fuck did you catch her? Makes one feel good knowing you have someone that others cannot have and only dream about having.

When I arrive home and I walk through the door, and Arianna is standing there nude, I am thinking you are one lucky mother fucker. You really got it going on man.

I love the relationship we have, I love the micromanagement it is a true high, but most of all we just click. We are never apart with the exception of work. The love is always there the respect is always there, I have earned her respect it was not a demand. Once you earn the respect you have the world at your feet.

Under the right circumstances Micromanagement is a good thing.

Arianna has been blogging more check out her blog feel free to comment. Her blog is nothing like mine she gets a little deep at times in her thoughts, but she writes very well, with a lot of feelings..

Vile

Micromanagement Is it really good for The Submissive Or Slave

Posted in 24/7, abuse, bdsm, blog, Bond, control, controlling, micromanage, Protocol, Rules, slave, submissive on July 5, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a post I made early last year when I was blogging with the good people from thesexreports. I received an email stating that was was kinda bad mouthing those who thrive on micromanagement.

First let me clear a few things up, micromanaging is at times very taxing on the Dominant, think about it, once out the door the Dom has a daily life, work, social, communicating with others, all while still managing his slave. Those who are 24/7 this is more true.

Now I thrive on such task, does it get overwhelming at times? Sure it does, just as any other daily activities do. You are taking care of two, you are making decisions for two. You have put in place rules and structure, and yes even protocols.

A Slave who is micromanage is no less of a Slave who is not. We are all different and we all have different needs. We all want different things out of the lifestyle, and we all should insure our needs are met.

A lot goes into planning a new relationship, this is when you lay all your cards out on the table. With your needs you do not give in or bend, you still to your game.

The truth is you will find very few Doms who are willing to take on such a life. I know a hundred Dominants, and as far as I know I am the only one who lives a micromanaged relationship. When I bring it up , I hear fuck that, way to much work, or I do not want that type of responsibility on my shoulders I have enough on my plate.

The fact is I enjoy it, It gives me a daily rush. Now there are times when my brain goes you know, you need a break dude, it is time to defrag.

Now on the bad side I believe a short term mincro would not be good for the slave. If a Slave needs that type of lifestyle while not in a relationship although they can function, times do get hard. If the Slave is going to be micromanaged the long term is the way to go, this is so it does not cause any undo stress on the slave or any confusion.

Several years ago I had a slave, who was the love of my life, big age difference I was 37 and she was turning 19, we were together for almost 7 years. She had never even pumped gas, never did while we were together. She was cherished and loved.

The problem was not that she was a slave, she wanted to be Micromanaged, a role I had never taking part in, nor have I ever gave it any thought. I was in for a huge surprise.

So I had taken on the training role, I was her second Dom, now came the Micromanagement role. I made calls for a week, asking for help in this area.

I planned the weeks meals on Sunday night, Breakfast and dinner. I planned laundry day, I planned grocery shopping including a list on what to buy. Bath time, which most of the time I would bath her.

What time to get up, time to go to bed, when to go to the bank, your getting the picture. A year into the relationship I began to think, well this cannot be healthy for her.

After all A Dominant wants to make sure his improves there life in all areas. So we talked about her going to school, I allowed her to stop working, Off to College we go.

Well fuck me, I just fucked myself real good, not only was I doing everything else, I am now helping with homework. Wow so here I am working 50 hrs a week, along with everything else. A lot work. In the end though it was well worth it, she now teaches at UCF  happily married and a child, guess what her new Dominants role is.

The question to ask is this a healthy relationship, while some slave or submissive really need this type of environment, I do not see where it can do them any good. Just my opinion…

Here is an article I found that has a lot of information, it gives the good and bad..

Imagewhat exactly is micro and macro management and how is it applied to BDSM. These questions are consistently raised within the BDSM community.  Research on the net proved to be fruitless for few websites mentioned this phenomenon, so I took it upon myself to analyze this topic and correlate them into a somewhat readable essay.

The formal definition of Micromanagement is: Micro-management is an example of poor management where the manager over-manages people unnecessarily. The manager may be motivated by concern for details. The effect, however, may be to de-motivate employees and create resentment. Micro implies extremely small in scale and scope or capability. Applied in a BDSM sense, as an example, this is when the Master demands/orders us to keep a clean house (macro management)  and then stands over us the whole time and tells us how to do the cleaning (micro management). Or if the Master request us to cook healthy well balanced meals (macro) and then proceeds to inform us what to cook and how to cook it. That is micro management.

Why Do Masters/Doms micromanage?

1)      They have no clear sense of their role within the relationship. They think this is what they should be doing. Going into a 24/7 TPE is definitely a major step and one not to be taken lightly. So when a Master goes into this type of relationship clearly not knowing what is expected of Him, then they automatically assume this is their role. 

2)      There has been no previously agreed upon set of terms between the Master and slave. The Master erroneously believes that micro management is His role.  There is no clear set of rules to define which decision belongs to the Master and which decision belongs to the slave.  The Master may want healthy home cooked meals and demands that of the slave, that is Macro management but if He then goes to stove and informs her of how and what to cook, then He is now micro managing.  With no set terms and guidelines, nor any pre-discussion of these issues, then Masters will have a tendency to venture into the slaves area of responsibility, simply because there is no one there to tell them not to.

3)      Management of day-to-day issues is what Masters know from real life. Most of us don’t “lead” in our every day lives. Most of us “do”. Many Masters/Doms that we have met are in positions of control and power outside the home. That does not end when He returns home at night. And engaging in a BDSM lifestyle may only intensify that “leading.”

4)      They are Masters; they are here to lead us, the slaves. So they have every right to micro-manage. Which is absolutely true as long as one is aware of the dangers (see below) in doing so.

5)      Remnants of Crisis If the relationship or the slave has just experienced a crisis then the Master jumps in with both feet. Trying to correct the situation and make sure the slave comes out as a survivor. In times of crisis most people will micro manage in order to get past the situation. Once the crisis time is over, though, then things should return to normal. The danger here is that the memory of crisis becomes institutionalized. Lingering long after the crisis has ended. The Master continues to act as if there is a crisis long after the crisis is over, micromanaging from some cellular level.

6)      Fear – At the root of virtually all micromanagement is fear. Fear that if they don’t do it, no one else will (or no one will do it as well). Fear that the slave will fail will have horrible things happen to them. Fears about money. When Masters micromanage, they are usually concerned about the health and safety of the slave. If you can keep in mind that Masters micromanage because they care and therefore have fears and concerns, and NOT because they are power hungry control freaks, then we are better equipped to deal with the issue of micromanaging.

Benefits of Micro Managing

1)      You are completely and totally in control

2)      You are aware of every move your slave makes

3)      The slave can and will be come completely dependent upon You

Dangers of Micro Managing

1)      It will ultimately limit the growth of a slave.

2)      Can stifle a slave’s success.

3)      It is a bad habit that’s difficult to break.

4)      There is a high rate of failure, anxiety, and depression, caused by the inability of the Master/Owner to step aside and let their slave/sub basked in the joy of efficiently and elegantly serving the Master and showing Him/Her what They created.

5)      Micro management can be tiring; the Master can get bogged by the minuet day to day task of managing and controlling everything the slave does. This can result in confusion for the slave and her inability to prioritize.

6)      When an owner is involved in every aspect of the slave’s actions, his or her ability to focus on any one area is diminished and signs of pending problems are often missed.  And since there is never a break from the slave and her actions, Master, BDSM burnout is a common consequence, which often leads to relationship failure.

7)      It is inefficient and in effective to micro manage a slave. If you’re watching over her every move then what are You accomplishing.

      8)   Dependency

9)      Can stifle the slave’s creativity.

10)      Slave burnout.

11)      Low self-confidence due to the dependency upon the Master to make and control all decisions and aspects of the slave’s life.

12)      Rigid structure permitting little or no flexibility 

It is very difficult to define Macro Management but in general terms it implies on a larger scale. More freedom and liberties are granted where the manager allows the staff to partake in more of the business operations. In a BDSM sense, I believe it implies the managing of a slave on a larger scale. As stated above, ordering the slave to prepare healthy meals would be an example of macro management. It is usually more efficient to macro manage numerous slave activities then it is to try to micro manage all of the slaves activities.

Dangers of Macro Management

1)      Too much freedom will result in confusion within the slave.

2)      Macro Management can result in the Master not having or exerting enough control upon the slave.

3)      Feelings of inadequacies within the slave due to not having enough control exerted upon them

Benefits of Macro Management

1)      The Master is able to maintain appropriate level of control over His property.

2)      If a crisis arises, the Master will be able to focus His control on the crisis at hand and micro manage that specific situation.

3)      Teaches the slave responsibility

4)      Allows the slave to prioritize.

5)      Allows for a well-rounded development.

6)      Reduced risk of burn out.

7)      Provides flexibility for the slave.

8)      Enhances productivity of both Master and slave.

9)      Greater flexibility for both slave and Master

10)  Increased self-confidence and self-esteem for slave as she contributes and makes daily decisions based on what her Master has taught her and what she believes He desires.

11)  Consistent approach to managing the slave.

12)  Macro management allows the slave to maintain some of her independence even if the Master gives that independence to her by allowing and trusting in her to make her own decisions on certain aspects of her life.

In any healthy BDSM relationship there is a balance between Macro and Micro management. This balance is dependent upon the two partners and what they desire. In a BDSM relationship we often fantasize about doing or being micro-managed however in reality, to completely perform this tasks is almost impossible. Environmental influences have to be correct in order for a complete micro-management situation to occur. As a slave, the Master cannot micro manage you if you work. For He then is not there to tell you how to drive, what station to listen to on the radio, or how to deal with issues at work. These are your responsibility. Hence He is not micro managing.

The whole idea of discussing this is for individuals to become aware of what exactly micro and macro management is. And that in fantasy micro management is appealing but in reality there are many issues and consequences to actually achieving 24/7 micro management. Each relationship is unique and each relationship incorporates some aspect of both micro and macro management.  It is a balancing act and problems arise when the scales become unequal or when the transition is too intense or too rapid. A Master cannot just walk into a slaves life and begin to micro manage, as with everything else within this lifestyle, time, trust, honesty, integrity, and respect are paramount  in the building of a healthy BDSM relationship.

I believe if You are a micro-manager, or have a tendency to micromanage large parts of Your slaves actions and life, then You need to change if You want Your slave to thrive.  Only by letting go will You create a slave that can operate without You — yet still maintain in her heart and her actions what will please You. Operating without You does not mean independence it means the slave knows what brings You pleasure and is capable of making those decisions to reflect that. Slaves that are capable of operating without the Owner are also more likely to survive a crisis, to survive the relationship, to maintain their level of self-confident and self-esteem. This is needed to have a healthy relationship

The Perfect Slave

Posted in bdsm, Bond, Busy, Conversation, emotional, Emotions, Louisiana, Marriage, Master, oral sex, raspberry Chipotle sauce, Rules, sex, slave, Stressed, submissive, The perfect Slave on June 12, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay maybe just maybe I am one sided when it comes to Arianna, I myself believe she is the perfect slave. Very polite, well mannered, public or private, and most of all acts and speaks like a woman, but there are other things that stand out.

I am not just speaking of the oral skills or when she is on top, throwing sex aside, although I love to fuck, sex does not make the relationship go around.

You can truly tell when someone really cares about you. Like listening when your talking, really paying attention, just doing little things without being told to. Taking an interest in the things you like, and having the need to please.

Everyday the question comes up, is there anything I can do for you master. The need to please. A couple of months ago I made a comment about how I loved cigars and Jack Daniels. Arriving home after a very hot day at work I sit down, and to my amazement  there was a small bottle of jack and a very dark Arturo Fuente cigar and a small bottle of Jack, pure heaven.

A very dear friend of Arianna’s went to Louisiana a while back, do not quote me but there is a Tabasco sauce plant there I believe that is where her friend went, anyway she gave up a bottle of raspberry Chipotle sauce. Out of this fucking world, I put it on everything, eggs , burgers, hot dogs, everything. I suppose I will have to take a trip to Louisiana so I can pick up a case, I cannot find it here in Florida.

So this am Arianna is at work I have to be at work at noon, so I decided to make a couple of sandwiches, I open the fridge, and the chicken is sliced chicken with Chipotle flavor, I grab the cheese and the cheese is Chipotle as well.

I did not even have to ask, this is what I mean about caring, you can tell, again setting sex aside, it is the small things that add up to large things.

Every morning I wake, the coffee pot is ready, my cup sitting next to the pot with a spoon, and sugar, everything is prepared.

Now it works both ways, we as Dominants have to take care of ours, we take the extra mile if you will. There are some vanilla relationship with the same quality’s not many but there are some.

We are there when they need us, to talk, listen, through good times and bad times. We are there when times are hard, when they are emotional. The Slave or Submissive knows they have someone to turn to.

Arianna does not do well with praise, but I do on a daily basis, I make sure I mention the small things that are done. Everyday a list is made out that she has to complete, I do check by the way. I praise her positive reinforcement You cannot just take and take and make it one sided at times it has to go both ways.

We all seek perfection, in a D’s relationship a Slave will strive for perfection, and the worse punishment there is, is when the slave has done something wrong. I cannot imagine the feeling. I know if I make a mistake, or do something wrong I just shrug it off, and keep on walking. I am not an emotional man.

Even when stressed I do not show it. We have had a lot going on this past month, and I had a feeling things were not going to work out with somethings that had popped up, so I arrived home getting ready to take a shower, and I was broke out in hives, very bad, and I stayed broke out for almost two weeks. I did not even realize how stressed I was. I just stayed on what I thought was the correct path, and everything just fell into place.

That is what I try to tell people, if your doing something, do it by the book, if you try to take shortcuts it will fuck you up every time, then you blame someone else for your own blunder.

Arianna is the perfect partner, best friend, soon to be wife, and last but not least the perfect Slave. She gives 100% without question. She gives without being asked or told, she does truly listen, and most of all she cares.

I will be posting wedding pictures on my Face Book sometime next week, so those who are members of the BDSM Corner will be able to see.

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Much Love To All

Vile