Archive for the BDSM Structure Category

Rules And Training

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info. http://bestslavetraining.com/

 

 

Dominants Have Rules And Protocols As Well

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, slave, submissive, Uncategorized, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , on November 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the blogs here on wordpress when speaking about Domination and submission are geared towards relationships, the Submissive, the Dominant, the Master, the Slave.

The slave or submissive tells about their life and journeys , The Doms and Masters talk about their lives , their relationships, rules , structure, and some protocols.

We Masters , Dominants and Daddy Doms just as the submissive , Baby Girl, or slave are a direct reflection of our property. We set standards in place for our property to follow, we set rules for private and public, but we have to he held accountable as well, after all our property looks up to us as leaders.

We train ours how to act, how to speak, talk and walk, we impose rules some stricter than others, we control , we guide and we have expectations, and if not followed punishment is in the air.

On a couple of occasions we left a lifestyle function and Arianna said Master there were somethings you said that did not make you look good, or maybe you should of worded that statement different. After thinking about her comment I found it to be true. Okay my bad , I have a habit of saying what is on my mind , but here is the thing if Arianna noticed it so did everyone else, no one ever says anything so if she did not bring it up I would of never thought about it.

I expect Arianna to follow the rules and protocols I have put in place. The rules I put in place were different from past relationships, the protocols , the structure all are different , this is due to her being different , not different in a bad way , but I focused on needs and what I thought would keep her in a better place, and 3 years later it has worked.

We as Dominants and Dommes are watched , our property is watching us, they watch every move and listen to every word. They watch how we interact with others, subs, slaves and Dominants.

We set the example, we want to be followed, we want to lead, in order to achieve all of this we have to set the example. We as Dominants have rules to follow in everyday life, we have rules and protocols when out in public more so at local events.

When a Dominant walks up and introduces himself as Master Porky I just kinda roll my eyes, when this happens you never hear the second word, as you hear is Master. We are all different but when I introduce myself it is hello I am Vile.

I never just walk up and start a conversation with another submissive or slave, this is poor judgement on a Dominants part not knowing if they are owned or not.  The same with social Media , just because I am friends with another Dom it does not give me the right to friend his property, in that case permission is needed.

While it is true I do get nutty at times , I have found it is rather hard to stay serious 24/7.  I love to have fun , I act out at times, I love making people laugh.  Arianna knows this but she also knows when I am serious.

We cannot control someone if we are not in control, we cannot expect someone to respect us if it is not earned.

It is pretty easy controlling someone who does not know any better, it is easy to control someone who does not have a clue…..  It is easy to fuck with someones emotions , feelings or even fucking with their head. One does not care if they are not in it for the long haul.

I have seen many times when a D’s or M’s relationship is in a one way status, the Dominant barking out rules , losing their temper, screaming, but he had no rules or protocols to follow, he was not setting a positive example.

I was reading a conversation on fetlife a Dominant was wanting advice on how to break his bitch. My answer was , why would you want to do such thing? Why do you feel you have the need to break someone ? I got no reply.

Fetlife is full of bashers , hatred , from those who know everything. The truth is any real Dominant would not out another Dominant in a public forum. Again we set the examples , we lead ,  we teach, and train.

I was talking to a slave the other day and she made the statement she did not have to love but she had to be able to respect. That is really deep…

I hope all of you had an awesome Thanksgiving

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 128 Basic rules, 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, communication, control, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, viledesires62@aol.com on November 8, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometimes I come across something that catches my eye, and what I am going to share turned up on my friends list on Fetlife.  I found the Writing of Master James to be right on.

While my way is not the only way I have touched on many things that most disagree with, when I use the word protocols people laugh, when I use the word consistency most laughed, when I use the word rules most laugh , and that is all good until the relationship fails.

You wake up one morning and now your Christian Fucking Grey like him not having a clue and your super Dom, or King Master you want the title you want to be adored and worshiped but you do not want the responsibility , not really caring what effects your having on someones feelings or emotions, or the lasting effects.

The part time Dom has a on and off switch , but I can promise you the Submissive does not have such a switch. So while you the Dominant are making your demands after a long absents your submissive is faking it just to please you which does not equal submission.

I have also talked about rules having a few in place, you can cause a overload if you pile on the almighty 128 Rules most follow when they have no clue.

I have also talked about how being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig , it is a 24/7 365 gig.  You the part time submissive sitting at home at night watching TV or reading a book while picking up your phone to see if you have received a email or a text , and this can go on for days, weeks and even a month or so.

So looking over my friends feed on Fetlife this title caught my eye and I clicked and started reading. I emailed Master James to see if I could re-post here on my blog and he was more than happy to let me share….

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Other controversies aside, what first garnered my modicum of notoriety on this site, was not my social commentary, my love of suits, my satirical humor, my rope, my photos, or my ideological battles with socialist reform zealots……

No, it was D/s. The fact that I audaciously identified as a Master, maintained multiple 24/7 D/s relationships, led a House, and focused my energy on boring stuff like protocol, rather than the fun stuff that looks great in photos and videos.

To this very day, this remains the staple diet of my inbox. Messages flow in, asking a mundane 34 year old stranger from the other side of the planet how to fix the problems in their D/s relationship.

Well, over the years, one issue continues to be a prevalently central element to the problems people face. And after a raft of recent messages from Doms where this issue became apparent. I decided it was time to address it specifically:

It’s the issue of perception. The perception of what a 24/7 D/s relationship is and what it takes. Or alternately, the issue of misconceptions as to what a 24/7 D/s relationship takes.

The majority of messages I get from Doms, start by highlighting issues in their dynamic. And then asking me for tips on training to fix it, and/or protocols to strengthen it. Whist completely missing the root of the problem.

So here’s my Uber-Dom pro tip……..
The secret to the root of 98% of problems in your D/s dynamic, that are caused by you, and stand in the way of you a achieving a functional 24/7 dynamic…..Are you ready for this?

Consistency!

That’s right folks. Consistency and the dedication required to sustain it.

You can research, read blogs, order books off Amazon, go to countless workshops, and write up the most intricate rules, protocols, and punishments. But all the best ‘how-to’ guides and training programs in the world won’t work, if you don’t have the commitment, the dedication, and most of all; the consistency to see them through.

And this is where 99% of D/s relationships fall apart.

Being on the D side of the slash in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic isn’t a part time job, a hobby, a passing interest, or a play thing…. It’s full time. And I don’t mean full-time in the sense of a full-time job. Those in which you do your 8 hours and you knock off and go home.
When we say 24/7, we actually mean 24/7. It isn’t just a catchy title. There are no knock-off times, overtime pay, weekends, sick days, public holidays, or annual leave.

You can’t expect to be a Dom when it’s convenient for you, and expect her to be a Sub when it’s convenient for you., and call it 24/7…. You will inevitable have different ideas of what and when constitutes convenient. You can’t expect to be able to only enforce your rules occasionally, but expect them to be followed all the time. Humans just don’t work that way bro.

You’re setting you both up for failure. But only one of you ends up getting the cane. And you get surprised that she resents you rather than thanks you???

The first step, is figuring out if you want to do this as described. Because any less and you’re not setting yourself up for success.

The second step, is only implementing rules or protocols you yourself are both willing and able to enforce ‘consistently’. When you pick these rules, make sure they are functional. And remember this golden rule: “Never set a rule, or give an order, that you aren’t 100% sure will be obeyed!” Otherwise, once again, you are not setting yourselves up for success.

With this in mind, it behoves you to start off keeping rules simple and minimal.

The third step, is to be her Dom. And you need to be that guy every minute of every day. When you go to sleep at night, when you wake up in the morning. When work is stressing you out and you just couldn’t be bothered. Even when she’s on shark week and she can’t stand you.

My final advice is, that if this isn’t for you. Then that’s cool. Enjoy having a part-time, fun, play based, D/s dynamic. They are great, and they are super fun. They have clearly defined start and stop times to signal when the game is in play. And they have the relevant rules that only apply whilst all parties are on the field of play.

These types of D/s dynamics are great for busy people in casual and short term relationships. They can also be positive, functional, and sustainable and can provide a strengthening element of escape, release, and connection in wonderful long term relationships.

But make your choice and stick to it. Nothing destroys an otherwise good relationship quite the way a half assed attempt at 24/7 power exchange does.

Because anyone looking to have someone approach life as full-time submissive. While they themselves are only going to rock up as a Dom on a part time-basis; can’t be surprised when the sub quits (or in my case ‘unionise’ and seek collective bargaining power).

If you want a full-time sub, then start by being a full-time Dom.

https://fetlife.com/users/1751801/posts/2818790

Thank you Master James for allowing me to share

The Master’s Creed


Author Unknown

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind. I dominate you only because you have allowed it. I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth. What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

Image

Vile

Training Is On Going

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, control, Dominants, Domme, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna on October 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You read you hear the word Training on a regular basis. You hear how some have been trained , you hear about those who want to be trained and why they want to be trained.

I have found over the years even though I had a mentor , I had some training I had to go through , more of a self training , things I knew I had to make improvements and different areas ..

At one time I had a very bad temper , it took me years to get it under control, it took me years to learn how to channel anger into positive thoughts. This was a must after all if I could not control myself how was I going to control someone else?

The first thing a Dominant will tell you is he is in full control, then comes the screaming and yelling calling you a stupid bitch, or at times even getting physical.

At times I have to make changes to Arianna’s daily activities , maybe adjust a rule a protocol , I change something up. I may see an area that needs improvement. I make the change many times without even saying anything, or her even knowing, that is how well I know her.

Just as a submissive’s or Slaves training is ongoing our role as a Dominant or Master is ongoing as well. I know on a daily basis there is something I learn, I want to gain more knowledge be it about life in general or about the lifestyle.

There are three major downfalls when it comes to any relationship, the first being communicating, second Trust and third anger issues, and for anyone to Master all three is nearly impossible.

Past relationships can cause your current relationship to crash and burn, if you bring either of these three with you. Being able to freely communicate is so important, the Dominant must allow theirs to openly communicate about anything without fear of retribution, if you cannot then maybe you need to rethink your current relationship.

There are those who crash and burn their relationship on purpose, I have a friend who has told me several she will purposely sabotage the relationship, just because things are going to good… I suppose this stems from past relationships that included abuse.

If I cannot control myself , if I cannot control my emotions , if I cannot control my temper , then how can I control someone else ? If I cannot control my own life, if I cannot make the correct decisions , if I cannot show respect , if I cannot be truthful , if I cannot be honest ? Then how can I expect someone to submit to me ?

The tables turn when it comes to the submissive or slave, you have to be upfront, you have to be able to communicate, you have to be honest , truthful, but most of all you have to want.

I would imagine or I know being Dominant or Submissive without knowing what or who we are can be pretty confusing. I knew early on I was different but until my early 20’s I never gave it much thought. I assumed every woman wanted to be tied up, spanked and fucked in all holes without asking. I saw women as an object to be used just for pleasure, and in some cases even a hobby.

Once you start being able to figure everything out most things begin to fall into place, then meeting people with the same interest. That was the time and point I started to grow , slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together..

What makes the lifestyle so awesome is we find our own place in life we need to be, it allows us to be who and what we are. It allows us to open up , communicate and share with others. I know for the longest I felt pretty lost not really having anyone to talk to, or sharing my thoughts with anyone.

Even dating It was hard to express my feelings and emotions when I did not even know what was going on inside my head, and there were not many woman who understood me.

What I have learned over the years is to try and understand others, while I may not agree we should take the time to learn when it comes to different kinks and fetishes. Today it seems we are to quick to judge others instead of trying to understand.

It was not until my early 40’s it hit me when thinking how training really hit someone , you actually change someones way of thinking, you change the way one acts, talks, walks and the way one dresses. You take things away and give as you see fit. We guide , we train , we give rules , we give the promise of being there , we communicate and yes at times we punish. This is a lot of responsibility , this is a huge task , and at times staying on task can become a task.

Over the years I made mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes and I made some over and over.  Something I never did though was blame someone else, I knew when things went south it was my fault, but by the time you catch the mistake it is to late to take control again, mainly because the sub as seen that side of you.

You can only train someone if they want , need and are serious, if the sub is just going through the steps you are wasting your time and neither of you are able to reach your goals. I always started out with small task to see what the frame of mind was. I was and did not intend to go through the motions just to get my kicks, my time was way to valuable..

What type of Dominant are you looking for, maybe a Daddy , a Top a Dominant a Master all of these are things you need to consider. If your a Baby Girl why would you enter a relationship with a Master ? If your a Bottom why would you enter a relationship with a Dominant ?

What makes you a Baby girl ? What makes you a submissive or a slave ? What makes you just a Kinkster ? The Dominant or Domme should ask the same questions , what role does one want to fall into, where is the best fit, how much responsibility or control do you want..

What do you want out of being trained ? What are your goals ? What are your needs ? Has the training process been explained to you ? What does the Dominant want out of your training ?

The question is , What Do You Want To Do With Your One And Only Life ?

viledesires62@aol.com

focused

Vile

 

 

A New Dungeon In Town , Orlando Florida. The Ninth Circle

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Education, Bdsm events, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, communication, Dominants Protocol, fisting, MAST, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Old Guard, Old Leather Guard, Orlando Florida. The Ninth Circle, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, suspension, The Ninth Circle, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com on September 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Ninth Circle

is a membership community for Education and Socialization within the Leather lifestyle……
Arianna and I were talking a couple of weeks ago and she brought up a new group on fetlife , she thought we may have something in common. As she passed the tablet and I began reading , my thoughts were WOW.
I love structure , I love Protocols , I love Education , but most of all I love when there is a place where people can go and play and not have to worry about not being safe. A place with structure, protocols and rules.
Although pictures were not allowed there are a few on the Ninth Circles website. As you walk in there is a meeting area, and a small snack bar.
Arianna and I were the first to arrive , I was really stoked and I will explain more here in a few. The class we were attending was the Introduction to leather and the History. Then after the introduction the tour of the Dungeon , I will be the first to admit with being to other Dungeons in Florida I was not really expecting very much.. What I mean is once you have seen a Dungeon you have seen them all, but this was not the case..
Master Stephen runs the Ninth Circle along with The Lady Kathryn… Master Stephen was very friendly , well spoken and he carries a lot of knowledge.  A Leather man who entered the lifestyle back in 1972 and one who was once mentored is now mentoring those who wish to carry such an honor and earning Leather.
Master Stephen opened the door to the Dungeon and as Arianna and I walked in my jaw dropped open.  The setting was awesome, the lighting was just right, new indoor outdoor carpet , I believe there were three St Andrew cross’s, a spanking bench , but Master Stephen called it a fisting bench. Two swings and a setup for bondage and suspension. Then onto the toys and my favorite which Arianna hates the Violet wand. I asked Master Stephen to use it on her nipples and she felt it for some 30 minutes after.
 You can read all about the Ninth Circle here…
 http://www.theninthcircleorlando.com/
A little more about Master Stephen:
“I entered into a life of Leather back in 1972 in New York. I was blessed to be mentored by a true Old Guard Leather Man with deep insight and personal integrity. He instilled this way of life in me, and in so many others. I was called to take over his house when we lost him to cancer in 1984. Now some 30 years later I still hold true to the traditions of my Mentor. I strive to pass knowledge and insight along to others with a true and serious desire to live a leather life, a life of personal integrity, dignity and a compassion and concern for others.
I further believe that life has changed since 1972; some for the better and some NOT SO MUCH! So, with that said, I recognize that there needs to be a current and relevant presentation of the traditions and values my Mentor taught me. For me that means looking at each person seeking mentoring and take into consideration their personal reality. It is not hard to teach the traditions and respect one need to hold for a mentor and for the lifestyle when you are living it!”
https://fetlife.com/groups/123155
Now On to why Leather is so passionate to me, Vile….
I am passionate about a few things, my relationship with my slave, the lifestyle as a whole, safety , any type of abuse and Education. I also have a few things on my bucket list.
First was to have a MAsT Chapter , it was a very long road some 6 months in the making but in the end I was giving the opportunity. Second was earning Leather , I am very Passionate about this. That was our main reason going to The Ninth Circle, but after reading the mentoring program I will have to look at a different avenue..
To me Leather is about Integrity, Honor, Discipline, Trust, Respect, Service. Its about holding ourselves to a higher standard, and I truly believe this, it is also about education , sharing with others.
If your ever in the area please check out the Ninth Circle you will have a lot of fun…..
Vile

BDSM Relationship Reset

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Reset, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, communication, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, owning a slave, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, use your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

We all get in a routine , we do the same ol thing day in and day out. The routine becomes such a habit we do not even realize it.
The same goes for relationships , the old routine , and up until last night I never gave it much thought until Arianna brought it up, and Reset was the word, a relationship lifestyle reset.

Now you could say the same thing about a vanilla relationship, but I really doubt you could pull your wife by the hair force her down to her knees, shove your cock in her mouth pump until you blow your load, bend her over the couch and force two fingers in her pussy and two in her ass and pump until your arm gives out, then put her in a cage. That does sound very interesting.

The routine , Yes Sir, No Sir, may I Sir? You may , you may not , hey lets play!!!!!!

You already have rules in place , you have structure in place and rules but your submissive or slave feels like they are in a rut, a dead end, no where to turn, and once their feelings are discussed you then think of a plan.

A Boot Camp a Mini Boot camp , 12 to 24 hours maybe even 48 hours, you can set time aside , after all its your relationship we are talking about, you cannot put a price on time spent with your partner. Once we get comfortable we tend to expect things instead of appreciating them , that is something we have to keep in check so your partner does not feel they are being taking advantage of…

So I am in the planning stage of what a Reset would mean to me , maybe something like the story I blogged about ? The Breaking Of Sabrina, maybe a kidnapping scenario, that would last 12 , 24 maybe even 48 hours.

Bondage , Hot wax , leather hood, ball gag, dildo’s , face fucking ass fucking … Fingers deep inside Arianna’s pussy probing and feeling around inside as deep as I can go, Fingering her ass, one, two, three fingers pumping her ass.

No conversation just using.. A Total mind fuck weekend nothing discussed , nothing negotiated.. What comes with all of this a total M’s relationship reset…

So we are different a Vanilla relationship may make plans for a nice weekend , a short get away. I on the other hand have a different thought of mind.

I think the only times this would not work is one , if you went through no training. Two if you did not enter the relationship as a D’s or M’s couple, or you do not live together. I do know LDR’s you cannot put an effective training program in place. The Dominant is not present so there is no way he can be in control 24/7 and he can only go by what he is told..

Sometimes we can get in a rut and we do not see the whole picture, we grow to expect things, everything just seem normal, and things begin to grow Blah.

Even today almost three years later I am always thinking of ways to change things up a little. The one thing we do not want to do is put or add more than the sub or slave can handle. The same with rules, once you have been together for a month or so the Dominant can begin to add a few rules, as the relationship progresses more can be added..

Many times we as Dominants let our feelings get in the way, we think one way and act on another, maybe in fear of that huge bad word NO. If your relationship is on track the word NO will never come to light. Your thinking you want your cock sucked but you see your sub watching TV, or playing a game on the phone, or maybe you feel guilty?

I take training very serious , once you begin a M’s relationship you are molding someone to fit your needs. You are changing someones thought process.
You are changing someones habits, you are training someone to know what your thinking, how to do something, and when to do it.

You as a submissive may think well I don’t want to give up that much control. Once in a relationship and as your trust builds , you will begin to let more and more go. Once you find you are in hands that truly care about you and has your best interest in hand…

One thing I do know, you always put your partner first no matter what, you keep an open line of communication open. If that happens you both will grow.

To have someone kneel because they want is a total rush, to have someone kneel because you can make them is just ego feeding.

viledesires62@aol.com

train

Vile

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

Our Second Wedding Anniversary

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, collaring ceremony, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Manipulation, Marriage ceremony, owning a slave, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Submission, TPE, Wedding anniversary, Wedding Vows on June 13, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. Arianna and I have come a long way and we have grown together and we continue to grow on a daily basis.
You know one thing I do is encourage Arianna to get out and she does from time to time. She has a dear friend who is like her second mother she visits on a regular basis and then she visits her mother as well , without me which is nice.

In the past she has been invited out with the girls and again I have encouraged that as well, I believe a Slave needs down time, it helps clear the mind and gather you thoughts.
When she was invited to a girls outing for lunch she did not want to go because we were not going together…. It was just Wednesday night at Karaoke someone said that we compliment each other so much. Ahhh we did a duet together it was Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi. We had people standing in front of us singing as well. I think they were supporting Arianna because I am sure I butchered the song. I was already into 3 maybe 4 drinks.

I may post a Video of Arianna singing here soon. She really has a beautiful voice and I am not saying that because of who she is.

When your with the right partner you not only want it to work , but you have a need for it to work. That need will never fail you, the want will fail you but not the need. It took many many years to learn that those two were different and that both had different meanings.

Something I had to learn was what I wanted out of a relationship ,but to go deeper is what I needed out of a relationship . The need will over ride the want , a want is a passing thought a need runs much deeper. I want a 2015 Dodge Challenger SRT8 Hellcat but that is not a need.

It took me sometime to be able to tell the difference between a need and a want. Some years ago I went through cars like people go through water , every month or two I was trading up or down what ever I thought my need was at that time, well it was not a need it was a want.

It took me sometime while being single to realize I was talking to people but not talking , they were talking at me and I was talking at them. The only thing you get out of someone talking at you is Boredom and you never get anywhere. Many times leaving a restaurant I was thinking to myself WOW that is an hour of my life I will never get back.

After my breakup before meeting Arianna , I went into well mot hiding but I just wanted to be left alone, I refused to let depression set in, so I needed to take time and gather my thoughts and decide what I wanted out of life and a slave.
I found the perfect place out in the middle of bum fuck Egypt , a one room log cabin about 900 square feet but it was perfect, little did I know it would be short lived because the floors had black mold and I started getting sick after about 6 months.
I had just gotten over the bleeding ulcers that landed me in the hospital for 30 days and about 18 days in ICU. Here I was again extremely sick. This really sucked because I was just getting everything together.

One day while at work I was dropping off someone in a less than perfect Neighbor Hood and I saw a few guys working on a house, as I walked in I asked if the place was for rent or sale, as I am looking around , new floors , new carpet in the bedroom, new kitchen cabinets , new tub and a new washer and dryer.
I got the owners number called him and wired him the money that day. My rent was 535.00 with lights , water , cable and internet included, and it was a nice house on the inside but when you walked out it looked like a war zone.
I lived there for almost 3 years and I never had a problem it was quiet at night and that is all I really cared about.

I had gathered all of my thoughts and I knew what I was looking for, I was tired of being talked at. The truth is you can tell when someone is truly interested in you.
I had already made arrangement’s to move when I met Arianna. A few months back I was standing in the front yard after a MAsT meeting talking to two other masters and one made the comment how lucky I was and it was like Arianna fell from the sky.

So here we are some well almost 3 years later and who would of thought. Life is good and I can honestly say we have had way more ups than downs , and even today we continue to grow.

So June 15th 2013 we along with some very close friends standing on the beach in Daytona near the light house, standing there as the sun started to rise and the ceremony began,
It was the first time in a very long time I got this knot in my throat. Slave began the ceremony and as Arianna stood there looking at each other I had this warm feeling come over me. Once we were married , we had a small sand ceremony , followed by the collaring.
After the Ceremony was over Arianna and I invited everyone to the Hilton for an awesome Breakfast.

We are not sure what we will do on June 15th Arianna just wants to go out to dinner but I am sure what ever it is it will be awesome..

Much love to everyone

mental

Vile

BDSM And My Structure

Posted in 24/7, An Owned Slave, Argue, Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Munch, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Daddy Doms, Dominants Protocol, etiquette, http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Structure, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Private Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave on June 6, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Structure no matter the lifestyle is needed , be it vanilla , Daddy Dom , Baby girl , Dominant and submissive , or Master and Slave , and last Domestic Discipline. Structure insures the home is ran smoothly and consistent. Structure insures the family or Master and Slave are on the same page.
Along with Structure comes come rules. Rules are needed to provide structure.
Even when the slave is out rules are followed and they are meant to give the slave a sense of direction. Rules are meant to provide a sense of direction under any circumstances.
A Slave or submissive is a direct reflection of their Dominant or Master. The Training is a direct reflection of the Dominant or Master and while out at a local event be it a Munch or a MAsT meeting or anything that is BDSM related the way your property acts comes back on the Dominant or Master.
While nothing may be said there is talk.

I will give a little insight , while at a recent munch I allowed Arianna to be open to speak as she wanted to. Sitting at a table with a few friends Arianna was laughing and joking having a good time.
As the munch ended everyone opted to go to a nearby Restaurant , we were all seated together and Arianna was laughing and making jokes.

The next day my email on fetlife was flooded with comments on how different Arianna acted the previous night. Everyone enjoyed hearing her crack jokes, and laughing. I explained to another Dominant it was protocols I had in place and that night she was allowed to be open.

If you take a look at http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Structure

He speaks of standing orders , standing orders are a part of structure and protocols. Standing orders are as follows. Arianna brings me dinner after sitting my plate down she thanks me for allowing her to serve me, she then ask permission to sit. She will not begin to eat until I have taking my first bite. She will ask permission to go to the bathroom , shower , even shave.
When going out I choose her clothes, her nail polish and even how her hair will be done. With the above I am providing structure.

Everything we do is planned , I plan things out one week , two weeks and at times three weeks. We could be going to a Munch or MAsT meeting , out to a park , like last weekend we spent the day at Fort Desoto over near Tampa. I very seldom do anything spontaneous but at times I may have something I want to do and we do it.

Arianna’s mother may call and ask for our help , I will tell Arianna what days we are available and the hours we are available, and that goes with anyone who may ask for help.

Arianna arrives home and the first thing she does is strip , no clothes are allowed while home. She may however request to put on what we call slave dresses. These are very long dresses that touches the ground and have very lite and thin material. The stripping is a protocol.

Now your thinking wow Vile that is to much work , or your way to strict , or your to controlling, or you may be thinking I could never live that way.
The truth is all of the above is obtainable and is really fairly easy , once you the Dominant or Master puts everything in place.

All of the above should be worked out before entering the relationship. What structure will be in place , what protocols will be in place, and depending on how well you know the sub or slave what rules you will be putting in place. What many fail to see is rules are meant to provide structure and a sense of security.

Sending nude pics is not a rule or videos Masturbating , those are in noway meant to help with anything, with the exception of helping with humiliation , because most will send just to please , not because they want to.

Structure must be what ? I have said this a 1000 times , consistent and consistent on a daily basis, if you are not consistent everything you have put in place will not work and the sub or slave will see that you are not in full control. You cannot be a Dominant when you want to be , there is no on and off switch.

Your thinking I could never be that submissive , I could never give up that much control to someone. I am telling you under the right Dominant you could and you would want to give more and more and then spend time trying to figure out how to give even more.

I posed the question to Arianna when we first met how deep do you want to take your submission ? How do you see yourself living on a daily basis as owned property , a slave? Is there anything you need for me to add or put into place that will help you ? Her answer to all of those questions was I do not know.

Two and a half years later Arianna is not giving me input , she is sharing her thoughts and looking for ways to deepen her submission.

I had a Master tell me not long ago man that is just to much work , that is not my thing. My question was how much do you care about your slave ? Are you not willing to invest the time needed to put everything in place? How long do you want your relationship to last ?

You expect the submissive or slave to follow rules why would you expect them not to have expectations ?

Last year Arianna and I went to a local MAsT and the first question posed to me was how do you two argue ? I look at Arianna with a puzzled look , and I am thinking what the fuck is he thinking about? What kind of question is that ?

I look at him and I say we Don’t argue we don’t fight , I have never raised my voice towards Arianna.

How is this possible ? With all of the above, if you implement structure and your consistent , your relationship will flourish and grow with no end in sight.

When I ask people this question no one can give me a straight answer. Why do you argue ?

The above is just my opinion and nothing more. I am not in anyway judging anyone or telling someone how they should be living.
If you think that well to fucking bad.

Some say arguing is good but we all know that is a crock of bullshit , when you argue you say things that hurts ones feelings. Those words are a calm mans thoughts. Bet that. If your fighting and he calls you a stupid bitch he means it. Those are the thoughts he has when he is calm.

erotic3

Vile

Our Total Power Exchange

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, 24/7, adapting, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Munch, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, molding your slave, munchs, owned property, Owned Slave, Protocol public, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Submission, TPE, training your slave, Training your submissive on June 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I searched for some two years for what I will call the perfect partner. I was extremely tired of settling for less when I knew a relationship was not going to work. Maybe I did it because of the companionship , a steady piece of ass , or maybe because I love a challenge I was hoping to take something impossible and make it work.

Here is where it gets somewhat tricky. As long as I can remember I have viewed women as objects , toys , here for service and pleasure. There is also another side to that statement. If you were not submissive Id id not try to push my beliefs on you nor would I try and change you.
I gave those the up most respect. Today I have females who are friends who are not in the lifestyle and I do not discuss the lifestyle in anyway. There are those who I have bent over backwards to help who are not in the lifestyle. So the above statement does not pertain to everyone.

I may not know everything and I have never claimed to know everything but I do know if you do not have a plan , if you do not have some kind of idea when it comes to the type of relationship you want, or the type of Baby Girl , submissive or slave it will never work. These are the people who settle for less. These are the Dominants who try to change someone into someone they are not and it never works. So he ends up exerting all of this energy and time to only find it has been wasted and the slave takes the blame.

Those who are new to the lifestyle are easy targets , they have this huge target on their shirt that says , Hi I am new and I am Gullible.

Although I have had 3 or 4 long term relationships , it was not until many years down the road that I realized I had not defined who or what I was.
Defining myself was a huge piece of the puzzle and without that piece I could never complete the puzzle.

While standing on the side of a canal one night thinking , Animel and I had just left a Chinese Buffet , where I met a woman who knew me but I did not know her and she was scared to death of me, I blogged about this before.

While thinking it hit me like an asteroid , WOW you stupid mother fucker you have had the last few pieces of the puzzle all along you just were not ready to complete it or maybe I was not ready.

I was more concerned about the next piece of ass , the next blow job , or who I could inflict pain on. I was a sadist for many years but I was not a Dominant. Mainly because I did not want that kind of responsibility , nor did I care , or maybe I did not have a clue.

So lets look at the three Basic types of Dominants , first is the Daddy Dom , I know of one I can say I respect and I believe their relationship is steadily evolving , into something more, John Brownstone. Most Daddy Doms are married and cheating. Most daddy Doms are not active in the local community due to the fact of being married, most do not impose rules or structure again because of the responsibility….

This is from a profile on Fetlife………. FInally I seek discreetion as I am married to a ultra-vanilla wife who has zero interest in the lifestyle and hope to eventually find my sub who knows she will be treasured.

Just how fucked up is this? His wife has no clue and as far as she knows everything is fine, and I am sure if she read his profile she would run. So my question is , why not just leave ? The remark She will be Treasured is a total lie because he will not be able to dedicate this time needed. Because when he is needed he will not be able to be there for her.

The Dominant who is Dominant but he is not in complete charge nor is he in control 100% of the time because his submissive has the right to say no even when it comes to following rules. The Dominant is only in charge when the submissive allows him to be in charge. The submissive will only follow rules when it is convenient or they are feeling submissive.

Those who do not live together do not have a clear understand of how a power exchange relationship works. This is because the Dominant clearly has no control over the relationship nor is the submissive able to submit on a regular basis. Training cannot be done and this is because Training has to be daily and consistent. It is not like a book where you read a few chapters , put it down and pick back up a week later.

Total Power Exchange..

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Total power exchange)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which “love” is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.
The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The Master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[2]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Slave Training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a Master or Mistress and a slave. The objective is to change the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the Master or Mistress, for example to train the slave to follow a set of rules or commands that the Master or Mistress has provided.

Slave training can be a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the Master or Mistress (or Dominant). Training is usually defined in clear steps or lesson plans before it begins. The Master or Mistress teaches the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing the Master or Mistress. The slave, in return, derives pleasure from being able to please and serve the Master or Mistress. The slave may also be rewarded tangibly, such as with food, a bed, etc

Training is something I have believed in for sometime , and although in previous relationships there was training , it was nothing compared to the training Arianna went through. Maybe one reason is I was not really ready to settle down, or maybe I had never found the one.
To change ones behavior , the way someone talks, dresses , speaks as well as to others. Hair color, nail polish really everything. I mold to fit my needs. I mold to benefit the slave , my slave.
Every rule I have in place is to benefit Arianna not me, after all the relationship is to insure she is taken care of. I however do come first that includes eating.

I would suspect many relationships fail because there is not a clear understanding prior to entering a relationship. This is due to both trying to be politically correct in fear of not being accepted , or rejected. If both are not upfront about their needs in fear of losing a potential will still end in a total disaster.

A Kinkster is just Kinky , A submissive submits because it is a need but submits on their terms. A slave you needs a TPE relationship Total Power Exchange gives herself or himself because it is a need.
The TPE does not make one weak as most think , Arianna has a degree and has had the same employer for almost 16 years.

What people do not understand is everyone is different , everyone has different needs. Every Dominant , Daddy and Master are different but many times people are to quick to judge and tell others how they are doing it wrong.
The people telling others who are wrong are the ones who are fucked up. There is no BDSM bible and while there is a lot of literature on this subject you are reading someones opinion , just like what I write is my opinion.

Our TPE Total Power Exchange was worked out prior to entering a relationship , it was not something I was interested in but I felt we had enough in common to move forward and give it a try.

I control everything in our home , to include what Arianna wears , hair color , bed time and what time to wake, what she eats. Most of the time I leave cooking up to her but at times I tell her what I want to eat. While I am in full control of the finances I do let Arianna take care of that end, but I know where every penny is spent.

The relationship started out as consensual and today it is still consensual , through our communication and being open with each other , I am proud to say it has been almost 3 years and to date we still have not had an argument. I have not raised my voice nor have I called her any names out of anger.

I have a firm rule I follow , I never lose my temper towards the one who gets on their knees or lays on their back and takes what I have to give.

We are going through changes and our relationship is still continuing to grow, now Arianna is always looking for more ways to submit. As we grow and talk she still wants to dig deeper into her submission.
I will admit she does keep me on my toes and keeps me thinking. My question or thoughts are how deep can one go ? Is there an end or does one continue to travel deeper ?
Ia m going to implement more protocols that will be a reminder of who she is. Just as speaking in thirds which she has mastered , that is a reminder and today she does not even think about the way she is talking and is able to change once out in public.

Putting protocols in place provides structure, structure provides a stable relationship , and then comes communication.
I can say without a Doubt and in Honesty I run my house. I am head cheese , Head Honcho , the king and Emperor. That is something i had to earn it was not giving nor was it demanded , it was earned.

respect

Vile